Sleep Help for an 8 Month Old

i used Ferber and it worked wonders. it took about 3 days for my son to sleep through the night. i am assuming you have the book and have read it. if not then read it. what people say about it is not all true. there is another book by Dr. Weissbluth and i have used that too. they both helped at different stages with my child. there is also another one called baby wisperer, but i don't know anything about that. good luck.

i dont believe in letting a child cry it out. we co sleep, our 4 month old sleeps thru the night pretty good, as did our 3 yr old who now sleeps great in her own bed, and thats without ever letting her cry to sleep. it takes alot work to not let your child cry, but i think its worth it. here are some links to read. also, i have been reading on several sites parents referring to ferberizing while describing letting there child cry for long periods of time. although i completely disagree with the idea of a baby crying, the ferber method is not just putting the baby down and leaving the room. it involves very short periods of time(starts at only 3 mins) before parental comfort gradually increasing over time, increasing over several days. it does not include in anyway just letting the baby 30+mins or esp hours. i keep reading people saying the baby cried for (blank) and fell asleep. in these cases, the only thing that is accomplished is a baby crying for long periods, with no comfort from his parents, only to pass out of exhaustion. please read the links below, but if you decide you want to use a crying method, please do not just leave your baby crying, rather follow this http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-ou...

good luck

Crying it out: Why it is NOT good for your baby!

Imagine you are this tiny person. You wake up in the middle of the night in a quite, dark room. You are scared and start to cry, but no one comes to comfort you. Finally you give up, not because you are now sleep trained, but because you figure no one cares enough to tend to your needs...

Babies under the age of 6 months CAN NOT manipulate, they cry for a reason. Part of our job as parents is to respond to them, building a lifetime of trust!

Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say By Alvin Powell http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNe...

Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies Dr Sears http://askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

EARLY BRAIN DEVELOPMENT What parents and caregivers need to know! by Phyllis Porter, M.A. http://www.educarer.com/brain.htm

Crying for comfort: distressed babies need to be held - Art of Mothering Mothering, Jan-Feb, 2004 by Aletha Solter http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/bonding/connec...

The Dangers of Leaving Your Baby to Cry By Margaret Chuong-Kim, M.A. http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

The Science of Attachment: The Biological Roots of Love by Lauren Lindsey Porter http://www.naturalchild.com/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter.html

The Emotional Infant Brain Part 1: The developing emotional subsystems of the brain process various information, including how to relate the state of the world with xpectations. http://www.fresnofamily.com/articles/aa040100a.htm

Stress in Infancy by Linda Folden Palmer, D.C. http://www.naturalchild.com/guest/linda_folden_palmer2.html

The Science of Attachment By Kelley Shirazi http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/5-ap/312-responsive-pa...

Mistaken Approaches to Night Waking: Excerpt from Sweet Dreams: A pediatrician's secrets for your child's good night sleep, Lowell House, 22-28 By Paul M. Fleiss, M.D., M.P.H., F.A.A.P., 2000 http://www.nospank.net/fleiss2.htm

8 INFANT SLEEP FACTS EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW Dr Sears http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

CONTROLLED CRYING: AAIMHI POSITION PAPER The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health: http://www.gymealily.org/resources_paperva7.htm

Loving Responces to a baby's cries Copyright (c) 2001 By Ingrid Bauer: http://www.natural-wisdom.com/lovingresponse.htm

Fatherhood Basic Instinc A dad can do so much more than defend the cave. New research shows that he too has the biological goods to nurture baby By John Hoffman http://www.todaysparent.com/lifeasparent/fatherhood/artic...

A MENTAL HEALTH EXPERT WARNS THAT POPULAR ADVICE TO IGNORE YOUR CHILD'S TEARS MAY CAUSE LIFE-LONG HARM Amelia Hill http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/content/excerpts/cioarti...

Why babies should never sleep alone: A review of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS, bedsharing and breast feeding James J. McKenna* and Thomas McDade http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/articles/McKenna_why%20ba...

CIO? No! The case for not using "cry-it-out" with your children By Gale E.Ward http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/attachmentparenting/cio.htm

The con of controlled crying By Pinky McKay http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_mckay.html

Hi D.,
I have 8 month old twin boys who are very similiar. I hated the Ferber method, but have to tell you it is the only thing that works for US - every child is diffedrent. And I didn't have to let them cry for too long where as other people I know it went on and on. I don't think I could have handled that. For me, if I go in there and try to soothe them they cry more. They are better off not seeing me. When I don't go in (well of course I go in initially and make sure nothing is wrong) then leave they may cry for 15 - 20 minutes at most and then fall asleep. I have had times when I stayed in their rooms for an hour or more and they were still awake.

I am sorry I have to run for one of the boys - sorry so short.

J. B

It sounds like you will have to use the Ferber method or let her cry it out initially. She has to learn its ok to be in her crib and to fall asleep on her own. If you keep picking her up and taking her in your bed, you are only encouraging that behavior and she won't break the habit. She has to learn to fall asleep on her own.

Do you follow a bedtime or naptime routine? It doesn't have to be crazy. For bed: bath, lotion/massage, pj's, feeding, held to sleep and then put down. For nap, my daughter (now 21 mos) has a cup of milk snuggling on the couch, diaper change, then wave "naptime'" (like saying goodbye) to the dog, other family members, etc., and then we pull the blinds and put her in her crib. She did cry initially, but now she barely squawks and will actually walk into her room on her own when I say its naptime.

I know the experts say don't have items in the baby's crib for fear of suffocation, etc., but I have always had a few soft toys and a book in my 21 mos daughter's crib. I put them in one of the corners. When she wakes up, she can occupy herself until we can get her out of bed. And when I do hear her awake, I don't rush in right away to get her. I wanted her crib to be a fun and secure place--some where that she was comfortable. See how you can make her crib a more comfortable, secure, and fun place-- some where that she wants to be.

Also try a crib toy attached to the rail of her crib. When you put her down, turn it on and she'll focus on the lights & movement and you can sneak out. Fisherprice makes a few: aquarium version & a rainforetst version, each about $30. When my daughter wakes up at night now, she will hit the button and turn it on, watch the lights & all, and then fall back to sleep on her own. Unless she is crying in a distressed manner (which rarely happens), we leave her be.

HTH
Good luck!

Well, it's going to be tough, D. because you have had her sleep with you...well, better now then later is good and I am proud of you making that choice. I have let my boys cry it out, taking it a few minutes one night and then take them out and put them back to sleep and cry it out few more minutes the next night and keep going. The only thing, I don't do that with my last baby who is going to be 8 months because I nursed him and he was hungry alot because I wan't producing alot of milk. Now, I don't have much milk left, so I give him formula and then nurse him to comfort him to sleep. If your child is waking up to eat, then feed her, but she needs to learn to sleep in her own crib. I love my boys soooo much, but I have heard it the hardest years in raising them are the first five years and after that, it's easier. The first five years count what you are doing in disciplining them then after five years of age, they will show results of your discipline. If you don't help her now, it's going to be REAL hard later down the road. Also, don't get mad at her if she gives a hard time in sleeping in her bed. Be patient with her as possible and if you get frustrated, just put her down in a safe place and go and calm yourself down in whatever makes you calm. As my husband said, "Joys of parenting". LOL Let us know hwat worked for your daughter and when you are on your way or have completely made a success in gett9ing her to sleep on her own.

I pretty much had the same problem with my son. He just turned one and I realized I needed to do something to get my life back at night. I never wanted to to the Ferber method, because I couldn't stand to hear him cry. Well, I broke down and did it one night. I let him cry for about a half hour and he fell asleep. He woke up once in the middle of the night and again I checked the monitor to make sure he was ok and let him cry. He cried for maybe 10 minutes and then went to sleep. I now have a new child. He just lays down and goes to sleep for all his naps and at night with no problem. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, he might cry or whine for a couple of minutes, but lays down and puts himself right back to sleep. I couldn't believe how it worked so quickly. So, my advice is try it a couple of nights. I never thought it would work, but it did. Good luck...

Hi D..

I was very anti-CIO, but I had a baby who wouldn't nap for more than 30 minutes (after more than an hour of coaxing) and who woke up several times per night. I tried Ferber at 7 mths and it has changed ALL of our lives. My daughter, rather than feeling abandoned, is SO much happier, b/c she's sleeping better... day and night. And it only took about 2 days...and not a lot of crying at all. Less crying overall when I think of all the waking she used to do before... plus all the crankiness from being overtired. The anti-CIO'ers are really much ado about nothing and doing everyone a huge disservice, because sleep is soo impt for growing babies. Not too mention how much more pleasant our days and nights are, b/c I'm not dreading the sleep-or-not-sleep situation. Good luck to you.

Hi D.-
I have an almost 2 year old beautiful boy who had the same problem and the best thing we did for him and for us was to Ferberize him!!! It's not fore every family, but it worked for us. I know it sounds unbearable (and it was) to imagine listening to your baby cry without comforting her, but it is so worth it...you all need yor sleep and you are teaching your child good habits by helping her learn to fall asleep on her own in her crib. And it really didn't take long with Charlie...and now he goes to sleep and stays asleep in his crib with no problem and he loves his bed time routine. It's such a relief and so comforting to know that he is getting the sleep he needs(unless he isn't feeling well).
We are now expecting our 2nd child and I will probably Ferberize sooner if I have to.
Good luck, if you decide to try it I hope it works for you and your child as well as it worked for us.

S.

Hi, let her cry it out to break the habit. You're reinforcing the behavior by bringing her into your bed. Had to do this with my baby and he is sleeing through the night again. We play lullaby music for naps and bedtime, which seem to help. Cheers and good luck!

Did the same thing with our daughter...at 9 mons. the ped. prescribed the Ferber book...it's tough to do, but it did work.

I had the same issue, but I waited until my baby was 10 months, so you can definitely do this too. I read, "Good Night Sleep Tight" by Kim West and Joanne Kenen (http://www.sleeplady.com/). I liked it because it is a gentle training method. Similar to Ferber, except that you do it a little more gradually, and you still continue to comfort the baby. It worked for us, pretty quickly. I also like that this book gives lots of examples. Some of the examples were toddlers who had never known sleep anywhere but their parent's bed. So I figured I could definitely do this at 10 months (some people had scared me telling me that I had waited too long and it would be too hard and might not work.) I checked the book out of the public library--it's a quick read, because you only need to read the section relevant to your child's age bracket, plus one or two other chapters. Good luck and just remember to relax and realize your baby will be fine.

I'll say I did Ferber and it worked. It wasn't always easy but stay strong and committed to it. If you are going to do it try for at least a week. I think my DD was 9 months when I put my foot down. She ate solids and nursed plenty. She just wanted to see me. Now she still wakes up for her binky but that isn't too bad. Once or twice a night for 5 seconds.

Hi D.,

I've used the Ferber method and it does work, but you have to stick to it. We did it with our son when he was nine months, and then we've had to do it a few times since after he's been sick or we've been on a trip. The first time it took three nights, but then he slept peacefully for 12 hours straight. The subsequent times it only took one night. He's a great sleeper now. He goes to sleep on his own for both naps and nighttime, and he only cries in the middle of the night occasionally. All we usually have to do is pat him on his back and he goes right back to sleep.

It's hard - really hard - listening to your child cry when all you want to do is scoop them up and hold them, but they need to learn how to self-soothe. It's an important for them to be able to do it as they mature and grow. Plus you and your husband need your bed to yourselves!

I send you my strength - good luck!

I would introduce a relaxing cd of some kind as you out her to sleep - then when she wakes up in the night start it again and try not to pick her up - kiss her and say 'night night' or something like thta - if she sits up lay her down and sya the exact same thing - only pick her up if she gets really distressed but as soon as she settles do same again. work toards putting her to be awake and turning on the cd as you leave the room. both my girls (4 years & 18 mths)know that the music signals sleep time. be calm, be thorough and be prepared for one night of standing at the door to return your daughter to sleep. it will work and it has the bonusof when you go away yo9u can take the cd with you as a home comfort to help them sleep.

D.,
my 1 year old falls asleep in our arms as well and sometimes wakes at night and needs to be rocked back to sleep, it can be a pain in the neck!!! we have started going into her room when she wakes and we lay her back down and turn on music for her, we have also found that sometimes we have to spend a few minutes standing next to her crib w/ our hand on her back. so far this is doing the trick of keeping her in her own crib and it is also helping her learn to go back to sleep because she is not always asleep when we walk out of the room.

good luck

We had to use the cry it out method at times and it does work. It is so hard on the parents but ya know what your daughter is fine! that is what I told myself! and i have to do it with our son at times now too. you are right stop it now!