Sleep Issues - Orangevale,CA

Updated on January 06, 2010
T.D. asks from Roseville, CA
11 answers

Hi Moms. Here I am again with another question lol. I have a 7 month old boy who is sleeping with us in our bed. He used to sleep in his crib in his room until his dad starting going back to work when he was three months old. I brought him back into our bed because I felt lonely. It's four months later and we can't get him out of our bed. We tried putting him back in his crib and he would cry and cry. I know he's still too young for the CIO method so I pick is back up and he would go back in our bed. We also have a co-sleeper but he won't sleep in it. When he falls asleep I would move him to the co-sleeper. He still wakes up cries several times a night and when he realize he is not that close to us he would continue crying and won't go to bed. In order to get him back to bed we again would bring him in our bed so that we can get some sleep ourselves. I spoke to many of my friends and some are telling me to let him sleep in bed with me and some are telling me to let him CIO in his crib. If I let him CIO, how long is too long and is he old enough to? Thanks again for your advice.

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D.Z.

answers from Yuba City on

I've never had a problem with the CIO method. Only that it breaks momma's heart to hear baby cry. But after sitting in the hall next to their door crying, knowing they are only unhappy, not in danger, it took one night of long crying, two nights of some crying and then they all sleep in their own beds and go to sleep on their own. The CIO method is not cruel, and it is short lived. Doesn't mean they don't wake up in the middle of the night or need anything still, they just learn to sleep in their own beds once they know they are not going to get their way in this. But you must be consistent.

There are other perfectly good methods, I just didn't find any others that worked for us. I hope you do as hearing them cry so long is not easy. (But it IS SHORT LIVED!)

Take care!
D.

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K.Z.

answers from Denver on

I do not think that he is too young to CIO. What we did was continue to go in the room and reassure him that you are there without picking him up ar taking him into your room. One person I know went into the room like 50 times in one night, but tehn less and less in the next few nights until it was none at all. I would let him bry for about 10 minutes and then go in. The next time wait 15 minutes and so on. It will make a long couple of nights for you, but it wil be worth it in the end. I know a lot of people are for co-sleeping but I really think that everyone, especially the kids sleep better if they get into a routine and can put themselves to sleep in thier own beds.

1 mom found this helpful

G.M.

answers from Modesto on

I agree with sticking to co sleeping. You can always start him out in his crib but when he cries just go get him and put him in bed with you. Eventually, you wont get that cry and he'll wake up in his own crib. They are only babies for a little while, you and your husband have the rest of your life in your own bed, the baby is just a visitor.
Attending to the cry of you child does not spoil them, it makes them feel secure and safe.

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C.D.

answers from Bakersfield on

I have had this same problem with my son who is 2 1/2 and I never had the heart to let him cry. He also had some other health issues which made it easier if he was with me, but now I deal with him not sleeping well. I bought a toddler bed and made a big deal of it, so he started sleeping in it as long as I was right there, then I bought him a bigger full size and he is in his room, but I have to be with him until he falls asleep and then he wakes up between 2-8 times per night and I have to take him back and stay until he is asleep again. Sometimes I or my husband or his grandpa have to stay in there all night. I had many people critize me and say I should have strted early and let him cry. I just recently posted to this site and 2 books that were recommend to me that I will be trying is the Sleep Easy Solution and the sleep book by dr. sears. These are ways to help our children sleep on their own gradually instead of just crying.

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C.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi, I feel for you b/c we struggled with our 2 y old and now our 9 mo old, who sleeps w/ us too b/c we want to sleep. So with our 2 yr old we sleep trained him around 10 months, Pediatrician said babies are not ready to sleep through night until 9 months with out nursing, and by 10 months none of us were sleeping well in one bed so we knew it was time for a change, and I wanted to night wean, so we used modified CIO method, The first night baby went to bed in crib when he woke up at his usual time we waited 5 min and my husband went in to comfort him and put back to sleep, easier said than done - it took alot of time and patience and crying on my son's part and we were getting up close to 1/hour but by 2 am he slept until 5 am which was our cut off time and allowed him to come to our bed and nurse to sleep. the second night wait 10 minutes before going in to comfort baby when he wakes up, a little bit easier the 2nd night, less crying and waking. Luckily by the 3rd night we only had to wait 15 minutes once and comfort once by patting his back and he slept until 5 am. This is how it worked for us and we plan on doing it for our 9 month old by the 11 months- it seems too cold being winter and all to make him sleep by himself, so obviously I am not ready and we are sleeping okay still but I know that will change.
good luck

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C.W.

answers from Redding on

This is a touchy subject! I think that truely it is up the individual family and what works for them. You will come to a point where you know inside that it is time to transistion. And when you are at that point you will feel internally ok with CIO. But until then I would do what works for your family and go with it. They are only this age once and these are precious memories not to be taken advantage of.

I have read that habits (good or bad) take 2-3 weeks to make or break, so when you decide to transistion, stick with it...don't do it unless you are 100% READY because it will only prolong the pain everytime you try and fail. It sounds funny, but you will JUST KNOW when it is time for you to make the change.

Good luck!

PS...My baby slept next to my bed until about 10 monthes and then I got to the point where I felt the benifits were outweighed by the lack of sleep and we moved her into her room. It took about a week to have peace and quite again, and now I realize how much I missed a full nights sleep LOL! She is 14 mo now, and I do cherish every night of rocking and nursing because its gone now!

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K.H.

answers from Sacramento on

IMO the CIO method is cruel at any age. :)

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C.P.

answers from San Francisco on

We hired a sleep trainer to help us when my was 9 mo old(now 15 mo). it's important for your child to learn to fall asleep on their own in your desired location (crib, co-sleeper, etc...) or when they wake up you will have go and recreate the same fall asleep routine. Essentially we do a check in every 15 min. I listen for how he cries if it's just whimpering fussing I don't go in, if he's jumping in the crib and laughing I don't go in. If he's really whaling I go check on him. I pat his back, tell it's sleeptime, "I love you" etc.. Then lay him down and offer pacifier. He has "loveys" too. He may get pissed off when I leave but then settles quickly.

If he continues to wail i try to wait 15 min. If checkins are to close he starts expecting me. At your son's young age you could try doing closer checkins and then extending them. I think you have to think you have to use a little "mommy intuition"
You have to be consistent and keep this up for several days if you want him to get used to a new
routine.
Good luck!
PS I highly recommend Marsha Podd if you decide to get a sleep trainer later on gotosleepbaby.com

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J.P.

answers from San Francisco on

If it were me I'd probably CIO. But if you don't want to CIO there is a book I don't know the exact name of it but it is about getting your child to sleep w/o CIO...check it out, I know people that it has helped.

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R.V.

answers from San Francisco on

For me personally I'd say stick with the co-sleeping. I've never been able to do the cio method and after my first born I've never tried again. We are on our last baby sleeping with us and are enjoying every last bit of it. It is a sacrifice my husband and I agree to but we know it dosen't last long in the big picture. We have happy, confident, well adjusted children. the last 2 transitioned out of our bed at 2 1/2 with no trouble at all. But it's not for everyone so just make a decision and stick with it. I am greatful for these years having the family bed. No regrets.

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H.P.

answers from Sacramento on

He's not too young to CIO. We did it perhaps a little early, but when she was five and a half months old she was still waking every two hours at night to nurse, and I needed her to go three hours so I could be a sane mommy during the day. So we used it then with great success.

If you decide that's what you want to do, be sure you're committed to it and that your hubby (if he'll be around when you're doing it) is also committed. We used CIO and there were a few times when we stopped each other from going to our LO when she was in the middle of a crying fit. It's rough when you're in the middle of it, but I subscribed to Dr. Weissbluth's ("Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child") theory that the total amount of crying is less if you use CIO vs. a check and console (like Ferber's method) and it certainly worked for us. My LO (12 months old now) goes to sleep extremely well in her crib for naps and bedtime.

You just have to make your own decision. If you're not able to stick to letting him cry then you're co-sleeping, so accept it and be happy with it and enjoy the snuggling. We used a co-sleeper next to our bed for her first five and a half months, but she only slept in the bed with us a few times and only slept on us when she was very little. Sometimes I wish I could snuggle in bed with her, but I'm glad that my hubby and I have our bed for ourselves and I know I get better sleep without her in our room!

The book that someone else referred to is (I think) by Elizabeth Pantley, called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." I read it also - if you decide to continue co-sleeping I'd recommend reading it.

If you go for CIO, read Dr. Weissbluth's book.

Good luck to you! Either option is completely valid and neither will cause long term harm to your child. Just pick whichever works best for your family and be comfortable with your decision.

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