Sleep Issues Too!

Updated on October 19, 2009
T.W. asks from Naugatuck, CT
11 answers

We have tried a modified CIO several times to no avail. He doesn't even cry, he screams that ear drum piercing scream. And will just will not be soothed without being picked up. He claws at our clothing while trying to climb out of his crib, so there is no soothing and then leaving again. He is 13 months old (tomorrow) and has only slept through the night TWICE!!!!!! He frequently screams and cries (every hour) and flails around in his sleep even when he is right next to us. It seems as if the only position(s) he is comfortable in is in a semi-sitting (like in his carseat carrier) or laying arched over a pillow, but this only lasts a couple hours at most. There are times when we put him sleeping into his crib and can catch a couple hours without him, but once the first "fit" happens, there is no putting him back in the crib. Do you think there is something else going on?? It also seems that very early he was terrified of his crib. We are desperate for a good night's sleep (with or without him in our bed). Any suggestions???

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions other than CIO! I have taken him to an ENT for excessive "viruses" and "purring" that I had previously questioned on here. Turns out he just overproduces phlegm and is not old enough to expel on his own, so we had to modify his diet. He eats very little if any dairy for this issue. I had him on Soy (which I did on my own when he was 5 months old) at the time for what I thought were digestive issues that my ped brushed off. At the ENT's suggestion I also have switched him to Rice Milk.

Sounds like from everyones responses I have to do what I did with the ENT and bypass the Ped and take him to a Gastro specialist to check on reflux. Sometimes it is so hard to stay on track and know your right about something being off with you child when the pediatricians brush it off. Thanks again momma's for all you support.

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D.P.

answers from New York on

I agree that it may be reflux. I'd speak to the doctor and see what they say. I had an instance where my daughter was terrified of her crib and what I did was, I went through my nightly routine-massage, story, lullabye and kisses, then put her in her crib, and laid my hand, gently but firmly on her tummy. I stayed there until she fell asleep. If she woke up when I removed my hand, I just did it again. CIO didn't work for me, but this worked like a charm. It gave her the comfort she needed but she was able to put herself to sleep without any external soothers. I started doing it at naptime and by the time she went to bed, it was much easier because she knew what to expect. It's very time consuming, but for me it was worth it. But definitely speak to the doctor to rule out medical issues.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

Does your son have reflux by any chance? Or possible ear problems? The screaming sounds like he can't even get comfortable lying flat. You might want to bring him to the doctor to get a check-up. When my son had ear infections, he couldn't lie down comfortably. The fluid would pool in the ear canal and was very painful. And babies with reflux have the same issue, because hot acid pools up into the throat and mouth. To me, it really sounds like something physical going on. It could even be sinuses. Perhaps you can put a blanket under the top of his mattress to incline him.

And BTW, CIO never worked with my kids either. We started by getting them to sleep in our bed and transferring them and then getting them to sleep in their crib/bed with us in the room touching them, then just in the room and then with a kiss goodnight.

Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.Y.

answers from New York on

We tried CIO under the guidance of a sleep consultant for 10 nights in a row, but our 10 month old just vomited every night and the wakings did not significantly lessen. So we stopped because I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. We learned many months later that our daughter had reflux, and her sleeping got much better...like magic, without us doing anything, once she was on the meds for a few weeks. BTW, our pediatrician did not suspect reflux, but for other reasons we took her to a GI specialist. Seek another opinion if your pediatrician can not find a reason....

2 moms found this helpful
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B.E.

answers from New York on

Read what the sleep experts have to say:
http://bit.ly/2qtCr

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J.K.

answers from New York on

Hi T.,

I have a 13 month old as well, he sleeps a good 12 hours consistently every night. Hang in there. I will share a few suggestions I got from a sleep specialist.

Get back on track, don't waiver. Start sleep time at night between 7-8p. Closer to 7p is best, earlier promotes long sleep habits. When he wakes up in morning. Be sure to put him down for a first nap no longer than 2 to 2 1/2 hours after. Second nap 3 to 3 1/2 hours after waking up from 1st nap. Get on a regular schedule. Feeding schedule consistent, is he getting enough milk?

Start a routine, spend time after feeding at night, give a bath, do relaxing activities with him. At this age babies change and need different soothing methods. You may have to go back to things that worked for you in the past,re introduce a few weeks. Also, most important I learned once you put in him in the crib, don't speak a word, I mean it. Even when they cry, no speaking. Teach him its night, no reward with responding, it motivates them because they got a response. Also try not to pick him up, when you go back in. Put your hand on his head, give the paci if he throws it out. Go back to using pacifier if it worked, sometimes that sucking is a helpful tool. Its not backwards...just go with it. And most of all Stay calm,,,at this point he feels your frustration...they pick up everything. Lastly, a good book I read is "Healthy Sleep habits, Happy Child" Marc Wiessbuth. Good luck!!!

Ps. Be sure his room is extremely dark and you can you a white noise machine, this helps greatly. Best

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E.K.

answers from Utica on

I feel your pain! My first was just like this - we had him sleeping in his car seat in order to get some rest. One question, have you tried putting him on his stomach? I remember crying to my pediatrician about this - and he said if it means a happier child, and parents go ahead and put him to sleep on his tummy. It worked. There are some diet issues as well that you may want to think about. What foods, and what times of the day are you feeding him etc...my son did much better with a high protein, no sugar, very regular (as in schedule!!!) diet. The same time everyday for everything we did with him, helped a lot. It is challenging but, some kids need that routine very much. For instance having a dinner, then bath (a nice long soothing bath with the same music playing every night) and story routine was what really did it. Do you do this? If not, try it for a couple of weeks, and see if that helps? Hope this helps you if even a little, you are certainly not alone.

E.

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S.S.

answers from New York on

I got some great sleep suggestions for my son in a book called Baby Whisper, by Tracey Hogg. I read one the mom's stories in the book and implemented it. Results, no crying before bedtime and reduced waking. I had my son in a large room and that can be "too large/scary" for kids. I put a little sheet tent over his bed and put a bolster around the inside of his bed and pillow so he had less room to move in the pack n play. At that time I was also using white noise (rain) from my happiest baby on the block DVD. I still use the rain, I have 2 now and they sleep in the same room, the rain cuts down on the waking of the other. I would try the book I mentioned from your local library. She had a ton of ideas and none were crying it out which I have not used for either of my children. S.

PS Try a pack n' play if you have one, mine slept in this bed until age 2 1/2, because I traveled quite a bit with them and it was nice to have them used to the same bed! Plus maybe he is scared of the crib...

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W.T.

answers from New York on

Hi T.,
I know the CIO method works for some as others have mentioned, but the fact that he flails even when next to you sounds to me like you need to heavily advocate for finding a medical explanation. That, and that positioning helps him sleep would indicate to me something with his stomach, though i am not a doctor. CIO is not at all appropriate in cases where your child is in pain or has a medical problem that is interfering with sleep, and pretty much all CIO so-called experts and advocates will agree with this. So until you rule this out, as hard as it is, I would try and make him as comfortable as possible. Our kiddo is a bad sleeper too and we are in the same boat. My theory is his adenoids interferring with breathing, but we have yet to confirm this. So, I feel your pain.
I would also really look at diet, and get your son to an ENT and a gastro pronto, and even when you do that, you may need a second opinion. Reflux is the obvious answer, but not always the correct one. Good luck, and hang in there.

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J.R.

answers from New York on

Our first daughter HATED her crib.
Acid Reflux? See a Gastroenterologist. Ears? Adenoids? ENT. Teething? LOTS OF MOTRIN and Hylands products. Would he still sit in a swing? When our 17 month old has rough nights with teeth or a cold she STILL likes to get a few hours of sleep in her swing.
Neither of our daughters were good sleepers. They both had tubes and shaved adenoids. It was the solution to our first daughters sleep and helped with our second.
Oh, and Crying it out didnt work for either child. It is not for everyone.
Do what you need to do to get some sleep! Be your own advocate and get your child to some of those doctors above. We had to do that and are so happy we did.

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B.P.

answers from New York on

Of course he is terrified!! Look at what happens when you leave him in there. First, you need to speak to your dr to rule out medical problems. Second, I know its hard on everyone but yu have to stop your method. Its not working. Some babies need more soothing than others. You need to start making bedtime soothing and not the nightmare that it has become. Don't fight him, there is something wrong.

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T.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hmm, the postioning in which he finds relief may very well be pointing to some stomach issues, I know we hear it all the time but reflux is possible. It will hurt intensely and cause the child to feel desperate for relief. It ruins sleep and basically makes them miserable. The good news is that treatment is fairly easy to obtain.

I do wish you the very best of luck, sister.

T.

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