Sleep Problem with 9-Month Old :(

I am sorry to hear about your separation. Stay strong!

As far as your daughter is concerned your dr. is right that at 9 months old she does not need the middle of the night feedings. Her stomach is bigger now and her last feeding before bed will sustain her throughout the night.

When she does wake try soothing her without picking her up. Rub her back, stroke her cheek etc. You may even need to walk away and let her cry a bit.

With my first I didn't have the stomach to let her cry so we bought one of those fisher price aquariums and that always calmed her down.

The more you do now the less you will have to do later.

Also, being in a new environment is unsettling to some babies. Mine never have and still don't sleep well away from home. She may need a little more time getting used to her new place. Try and keep whatever routine you had before you moved in with your parents.

All my best to you.
A.

I agree with Dianne's responce on the 19th, but I wanted to add that if she did not wake for feeding before, the waking now is for your reassurance. Get her back to sleep quickly with binky and backrub. As far as getting her through the transition, you'll be doing that by allowing her to maintain her rest and keeping her confidence that you're there for her. All sorts of daytime behavior changes will start to creep up if she doesn't get a solid nights sleep, and that will add to your stress. You'll be so tired and stressed that you may not notice, and all sorts of things could get out of whack. Babies thrive on routine, try to keep it the same as it was. It's tough to hear, but the night-time nursing may be taking the place of nurturing that you need.

Amy:

So sorry you are going through this separation. The solo parent thing is rough but you do seem to have a great attitude and with the family support I believe you will do just fine!

As for the b'feeding, a 9 month old does not need the nutrition at night but this is not why she is looking for the breast. It is the comfort she wants. You have already taken the steps needed to help her get back to sleeping through the night but there is nothing wrong with responding to her night wakings by allowing her to nurse. And as far as the putting to bed goes, it is pretty much standard for babies that young to fall asleep at the breast - nothing wrong with that either. Do what feels right to you. If she is happy, content and growing then you are making the best decisions for her!

Good luck!

R.

first you need to get that baby back on a schedule and stop feeling guilty about the seperation. She is only a baby so start now by getting rid of the guilt it is harmful to you and the baby. Somtimes marriages don't work for one reason or another. Get her off of the nursing and on a bottle or juice cup this will help especially when you start work in January. Remember Mommy needs her rest as well. Let me Know how this works out. Signing D..

For Penny Z., with my first I did the same mistakes everyone does. Rocked her until she was out commpletely then layed her down. That is definitley a problem causer. She wakes up and realizes you aren't there and freaks. With my son, I got wiser. Like you said as soon as he get drowsy I give him a bottle as his only option and lay him down. If he doesn't want the bottle then, I am sorry. If he cries for more then 15min. I get him and sit in the rocker for a few minutes to calm him and then bring him back. Never put him in my bed or lay with him at all. If all else fails (and teething doesn't help!!!) I use Humphreys 3. It is a homeopathic aid. It is for teething and wakefullness. It is wonderful. It just helps to give that extra push along with your gentle touch and reassurance that "it's ok, go to sleep, mommy isn't going anywhere" statement it works really well. I am not one to give drugs to my children but since this is homeopathic I tried it. Also, it is a fact then when children are becoming more mobile, IE: toddler transition, they wake up more frequently during the night. So there are many strikes against you K. S. but patience is a virtue and you are not a bad mommy. It is mommy's job to teach a child that there can be disapointments in life. If you don't then they won't except it when they are older. Good luck!!!

First, (not that this is what you want to hear) but lots of breastfed babies don't sleep through the night until they are way older then 1. Have you tried giving her a binky to soothe her. She may be using you for just that purpose. Babies need to suck...as a matter of fact they LOVE it. Don't listen to you pedi if you feel that she is actually hungry during the night and you need to feed her then do so. After all this is YOUR child not theirs and you truly do know what's best. If you really what to ween the night feeding you can try this... This is what I did with my son and it worked great. Lets say tonight she wakes up at 11:30. Tomorrow night she needs to sleep until at least 11:45. Keep moving the time back 15 mins every night. If she wakes before that just let her cry (not for more then 15 mins) or give her a binky. Eventually she'll stop waking or you'll ween her totally.

hi K.. sorry to hear about everything you go through. Here's the only thing i can recommend that i feel would be the best for both of you. Keep breastfeeding her, especially now that she feels this loss, this is the only comfort she knows, this is an absolutely best thing you can give her from the start- love,comfort, attention, nutrition.etc.. And most breast fed babies don't sleep through the night until they are wean from your breast, especially if they co-sleep. If you feel its ok, you don't mind co-sleeping and still want and can to breastfeed- then please do so, your daughter is only going to benefit from it in many ways... i breastfeed my 23 month old- she has never been sick, maybe for a day or two with runny nose. when she was upset or tired, nursing was an instant remedy, teething was no problem, as soon as she woke up crying, i would nurse her for few min, and she would go back to sleep. its emotionally and physically beneficial to your baby. so don't listen to the doctor instead check out La Leche League- they would give you a good advice. good luck to both of you.

I want to say that you are a very strong women and most of all a great mom. The best advice I can give you is to nurse that baby girl through this time of adjustment and change...she is looking for comfort and that is the breast for her. My 7 month old daughter Savanna is still waking up 1-3 times a night to nurse and I very well know it is not for nutrition (she is 18 pounds) but for comfort and I am ok with that and so is my pediatritian. We both feel that she will lead me in those decisions. You and your baby will get through this in time.

If you are really in need for a change there are other ways to help too....some believe in FERBERIZING or letting the cry it out at night while checking on them every 5-10 minutes which usually takes about 3-4 nights and others believeing sitting in the room with them until they go to sleep and slowly moving away from them. I cannot tell you how this works because I have nursed both my children to sleep...and I want you to rest a sure...my almost three years old son crawls into his big boy bed at night and goes to sleep on his own...he started that at 18 months.

Good luck and let us know if we can help you in another other way

OH my goodness, K. PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THE DOCTOR ABOUT THIS HE IS VERY WRONG!

try going on line to find your local La Leche League International chapter, they are really the right people to be helping you with this. But for now, let me say this to you with love, as an older sister;

Nursing your daughter through a crisis is THE RIGHT THING TO DO. You are obviously a GREAT mom who is following her heart, and that's what you should keep doing! I wish i could hug you right now!

K., you and your daughter need this time of closeness and security, and you really need your sleep. Now is not the time to be enforcing difficult changes; both of you are already suffering and touching base by nursing in the night is what nature intended for the nursing relationship between a mother and child. It has very little to do with nutrition, it has to do with love, and you are providing love for your daughter and yourself in the most primal, foundational way humanly possibly. You are AMAZING.

Try to remember that doctors are about sickness; they will always come up with negative reasons why a natural and easy practice such as nursing in crisis or increased nursing for any reason will create a problem; you see, they have to stay in busines and they have to feel important. And while we love our doctors for the wonderful work they do when there is a sickness to address, they simply don't have appropriate answers for anything else.

Your child is not sick; but she may be suffering some heartbreak, as you are. Being there for her at a moment's notice, when she's lost half her world, it the most right thing you can do. Not only that, but think of all the other kinds of crises through which mothers have nursed children; i know of a mom who nursed her 5 month old son through cancer, and he thrived, went into total remission, walked at 10 months, spoke at a year, and is a champ. It waasn't all about the nutrition, K., is was about the connection.

Lastly, for now; the beauty of keeping up a constant nursing relationship during what you're experiencing is that if your child were to become sick, even with a cold, and had poor appetite, she would continue to nurse and have adequate nutrition and hydration. That has happened in my place several times. My son , 2.5, has had at least one stomach virus and one cold through which he didn't want to eat at all and he nursed fine, and he came through it fine, whereas if he hadn't nursed he would have dehydrated and things would have been much worse. My daughter, 10 months, is teething like crazy and wakes up 2-5 times per night, and goes back to sleep in 5 minutes of nursing because that's what helps.

Please make the most of this incredible gift that nature gave you as a mother.

if you want to discuss more you can send me a message on this site and we could email.

good luck,
J.

Hi K.,
I can understand your problem, as I have a 16 month old who stills wakes up several times in the night to nurse. I know everyone says that's bad, but it is hard to make a change after they're so used to needing to nurse to fall asleep. Luckily, your daughter is younger and (hopefully!) more flexible, so it should be easier to comfort her by other means. I will share with you what I have read on this topic. First, let me suggest the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, in case you haven't already read it. She gives many good suggestions on gently making this transition to no nightime nursing. If you don't want her to "cry it out", you'll have to gradually stop nursing at night by lessening the time you nurse little by little each night. Open this link for a very detailed, step by step method: http://drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp
This is the best and most gentle method I've come across. It works well for my daughter for the first week or so. However, she eventually wises up and becomes more adamant, and then I usually give in. It's a long road, but we're making some slow progress:)! I can definately understand you wanting to comfort your daughter during a difficult time in your lives. It sounds like you feel a little guilty for doing that, but DON'T! That's what mothers are for! As far as getting her to sleep without nursing, they say that you should put them in the crib when they're "drowsy, but still awake". I have never tried this, so I can't comment on it. Anyway, good luck and hang in there...
Love, P.