Ok, so up until 2 weeks ago, my 5 month old, mow almost 6 moth old, has slept well. All because she was swaddled and would fall asleep during her last bottle at night. She would then sleep all night long from 8pm to about 9am. But about 3 weeks ago she has outgrown swaddling (and actually hated it) and so we cut it cold turkey. Our newest problem is that she will not fall asleep on her own. She will fall asleep being fed, and we have tried the 'Cry it our method' for the passed two weeks and after up to 4 hours of crying, we are EXHAUSTED!!!! It didn't take this long for our oldest child (now 22 months) to figure out how to do this. What do we do????? She doesn't seem to be teething, no reflux, no illnesses....... ANY advice and help would be Greatly appreciated!!!!
Thanks ladies! For those who asked, we do have a nightly routine... dinner, bath, book time, and last bottle. I think we may have hit the end... (hopefully) When I layed her down for her nap this afternoon she happened to roll over on her tummy, and fell right to sleep. I know back is best, but I remember when my oldest did this and her doctor said once they do it, you can't really get up in the middle of the night and move them everytime. And tonight at bedtime, I layed her down awake on her belly and not a peep!!!!!!! Thanks again for your swift answers! It's def encouraging to have people who are going through or have gone through what I am right now, and can help!!!
For some kids CIO never works. My son was like this. I think it is a personality thing. I don't have suggestions for you, though. He finally started being a pretty good sleeper at 3 and a half or so. He still has a hard time going to sleep at age 7 but he's much better than he was.
"Sleep training" is, in my opinion, a myth. This has gradually dawned on me after reading many books on it and observing a couple of generations of young families. Sleep "optimization" is worth working toward, and that generally entails making the baby as relaxed, secure and comfortable as possible.
Some babies do give up and sleep after crying it out for a few nights. Others feel only mounting distress and loneliness from night after night of suffering on their own. But a child under 6-9 months does not have the capacity to understand the whys and wherefores of the parents' need for sleep. They sleep as well as they are able. They wake and cry for attention or comfort when they can't sleep.
They may be hungry, or teething, or the wrong temperature, or have some random pain or discomfort disturbing their sleep, and there's nothing they can do about it except cry. Sleep scientist now believe that even young babies can have disturbing dreams. Some babies become reactive to chemicals in their environment – perfumed laundry detergent, and especially fabric softeners, are pretty toxic and best kept out of a child's life. They can powerfully stimulate a baby's (or an adult's) nervous system.
If your baby cries for 4 hours before giving up from exhaustion, I wonder if she's being traumatized, physically or emotionally. It seems to me that she's desperately trying to tell you she needs comfort or food (growth spurts often increase nighttime hunger). Stress hormones that build up for hours night after night can actually change the size and function of certain structures in her little brain, and this will not serve her well later in life.
Some babies sleep easily. Some never do. Many change patterns several times during their first 2-4 years. Not much is known about why different babies are so different, other than they just are.
Babies seldom respond well to abrupt changes, like a cold-turkey dropping of the swaddle. You mention that she outgrew and hated it – there are larger swaddling cloths available, and more gradual ways of discontinuing use, like wrapping more loosely or leaving one arm free during a transition period. I wonder if you tried those intermediate steps.
I wish I could tell you there's some fail-proof system to get your little one to sleep. But some babies are higher-need, and that's one of the challenges parents face when deciding to have a child. My grandson was pretty easy in most ways, but was a terrible sleeper until age 2.5. It wasn't until then that his parents were able to leave chronic sleep deprivation behind. Now he's a champion sleeper, and the hard nights are a distant memory.
She is still very young. Can you rock her to sleep - at least until almost asleep then put her down?
Have you tried a sleep sack? This really helped us when our son grew out of his swaddle. It turned out that he wasn't addicted to the swaddle, but was actually addicted to kicking his feet and legs in the swaddle. We got a sleep sack, and would kick happily until he tired himself out and fell asleep! A blanket would have worked the same way, but we didn't want to risk having a blanket with an infant. Also, do you use some kind of bedtime routine? My son did not want to take naps in his crib, and I started a routine of changing diaper turning off the lights and snuggling while singing twinkle twinkle. It took a while, but he started associating the song with sleeping. Now when he hears the song he will lay down or rest his head, depending on where we are. We still feed our 10 month old right before we lay him down, sometimes he falls asleep while feeding, but most of the time he is still awake but sleepy. If you feed her with the lights off, then keep the lights on, until she is done eating, then turn off the lights and snuggle for a moment before laying her down. We also found a sound machine worked well (our son like the waves the best). Good luck!
I think early an early bedtime sounds good too. Have you tried swaddling with one arm out? Or some white noise? ( I suggest a tone with some variation, not pure white noise, but the sound of rain or water.) Does she have a routine for bedtime that helps her to wind down?
Four hours of crying sounds terrible! Although we sleep trained at 6 mos, hubby and I agreed that there was a "point of no return" for our son's crying, where he could not soothe himself. On those rare occasions, we would calm him down, and then put him in the crib partially drowsy. He is a champ sleeper now, so it all worked out.
Hope you find what works soon!
Not sure if you've tried the Ferber method yet or not, but I'd recommend that. My children and one and four and I still look back at his book being one of the best investments in my life! This lays out the plan http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified.... Hope your baby gets back to sleeping soon!
Put her down a lot earlier. If she's able to cry for 4 hours, I think she's probably over-tired when you're putting her down? Try moving bedtime back to 6pm (yes, I know that sounds crazy), and see if that helps. Babies are "wired" to sleep at a much earlier time than older children or adults. In my experience, it is much easier to put a baby down for the night super early. They fall asleep faster, and stay asleep just as long. Feed her dinner, give her a bath, follow whatever your bedtime routine is, and then put her down awake at 6pm. Give her a pacifier or whatever comforts her, and let her figure it out from there. You are smart to deal with this now, while you still can, rather than letting it go until she has more of an opinion on it! :)
if you've done it for 2 weeks and she's crying 4 hrs a night , it's not going to work. Drop this method.
Try rocking her to sleep, rubbing her back, putting soft music on or a sound machine.
There is no rule in parenting that says a 6 month old has to put themselves to sleep. Are we talking about during the night waking can' t put herself back to sleep or when you first put her down?
If it's middle of the night keep in mind that 6 months is a growth spurt month so her sleep/eat patterns will change.
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Are you using the Ferber method, or straight out cold turkey cry it out? In either event, if you relent after 4 hours, all you have "taught her" is that if she keeps up crying for 4 hours, she will get picked up, rocked, etc.
How are you getting her to sleep for naps? is there anything you can learn from that experience and transfer over?
Good luck to you.
