Help on Infant Sleeping for 4 Mo. Old

Let him Cry It Out ~If~ you want him to learn that his needs will not be met no matter how hard he cries. CIO is a cruel way to "train" a baby. Babies cry because it is the only way to communicate.
The no cry sleep solution or co-sleeping are my recommendation. I have two teens a toddler and an 8 mo. I've never let them CIO and my teens sleep great~hmmmm.

My child required being swaddled as well until she was closer to six months. I found larger blankets to use for her....I somehow found some that were really soft and sort of stretchy that made a tight swaddle even as she approached six months. Around six months, she did not require it...we started with naps and noticed she slept with out the swaddle. Hope this helps.

My son required the swaddle until he was a little over 5 months old. We had to slowly wean him from it. We would swaddle all but one arm...then in a few days we'd put the other arm out. Then we'd bring the swaddle down his chest to his hips. Then we were able to get rid of it completely. Good luck!

E., Try letting the blanket be a little looser every time you put him to bed until it's just tucked in around him.

Remember, you should let him start working things out by himself now rather than later. It's hard, I know but he'll be better off in the long run and you will be too. He'll be more able to comfort himself and that's most important. Good luck!

Hi, I am an RN and I work in labor and deliverey and also sometomes fill in with the nursery at the hospital. I also have 4 children and with the first you always feel bad to let them cry it out, but it is necessary. I say this because even at the hospital the doctors remenid us that the infants must learn how to comfort themselves and to become more familiar with thier enviroment in order to develop. I encourage you to get cup of something,and turn the t.v up some and let the baby cry some (maybe 10-15 mins) and then go comfort shortly (DON'T PICK UP!!!)AND THEN LEAVE OUT AGAIN. Also try one of those sound toys that yoiu attach to the crib that plays wind,heartbeat,water crashing,etc.
GOOD LUCK!!!

Has he learned to turn over yet? If he can flip from his stomach to his back then you can lay him down on his stomach and his arms will be pinned under him somewhat making him feel snug. Hope this helps. I've also seen a type of sleeping bag with arm holes, maybe something like that could be used because they can't kick it off.
Good luck.

Hi E.,

I had the same exact problem. Two things that I recommend that worked for my son. 1. If you currently swaddle with arms in (I did) then during naps start to swaddle with arms out...I started 1 arm at a time and then eventually no swaddle at all. 2. The best baby sleep book is called Babywise. It is based on routine and schedules...I swear by it. I started it and to this day he sleeps on a routine and is an excellent sleeper.

Good luck.

Similar advice to what you have already received. My baby LOVED to be swaddled but there comes an age when they are too big. Falling asleep wasn't his problem it was waking 10 times in the middle of the night. We also let him cry it out (right around 4 months). I gave myself a 15 minute time limit and he stopped. We also DO NOT pick him up in the middle of the night. We will go in and give hime is pacifier and shush him but no picking up! This was also the stage that we introduced a "lovey." He really latched on to a soft little lion blanket and will search for it when he is in his crib and fussy. It got to the point I was so exhausted I went out and bought a book! That was the night he stopped crying. So if all else fails, by a book!

I had the same problem with my little one. After using the swaddle technique (Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution), we also used a cd of Ocean Waves. The wave sounds lulled him to sleep when he was too big for the swaddle.

My daughter had to be swaddled very tightly, too. I think that I did this with her until around 4-5 months and then I began to wean her off the swaddling.

My advice is to buy a larger, yet still thin, blanket to swaddle. Then I would start weaning him off by using a sleep sac. They still have the feeling of a blanket but not as tight as swaddling. That seemed to help with my daughter when she was getting too big to swaddle.

Hope this helps! GOOD LUCK!

C. Halferty
Little Scholer's
Home Daycare

I would just keep swaddling him, personally. that's just my opinion! my little one eventually would kick and squirm out of his. he still doesn't like a blanket on his feet (just like his daddy)!

there must be a reason your baby likes to be swaddled. he'll eventually stop, but he might be the type to always like covers tight and bundled.

just my opinion! C..

E.,
Hearing your children cry is never easy. My son, now 2 years (and healthy) was born with a congenital heart defect and underwent surgery at 3 months old. We were not allowed to let him cry until nearly 6 months...however, once we got the green light, we were so exhausted both mentally and physically that we just had to let him go. Believe it or not it took only a few days for him to settle into his own routine. He still sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night- I was going in to check on him for a while and ending up being up for over an hour. Now I recognize the "I've woken up and just want to cry" vs. the "I really need something cry". 90% of the time, I let him go and within minutes everyone is sound asleep again.

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS...MY OPINION...LET HIM CRY IT OUT. START WITH A 10 MINUTES SESSION, THEN GO IN. DON'T GET HIM OUT OF BED, JUST TRY TO SOOTHE FROM THE BEDSIDE. THEN GO 15 MINUTES, ETC... In the end, it is better for everyone. There is not doubt it is hard though!

Good luck,
B.

My son is 12 and still wraps himself up. They learn to adapt; God's miracle. You might be able to tuck in the sheet very tight when he gets older to help. I always tell mine that I am tucking them in as tight as a bug in a rug.

My son is 3 mos old. He hate's being swaddled so I can't help you there but I can tell you that letting him self soothe has worked for us. Initially he would cry for about 20 min (I aslo cried for 20 min). We checked on him every 10-15 min to make sure he was o.k. Now if he is tired he goes immediately to sleep without fussing. If he's overly cranky he will cry for 7 min then go to sleep. Even though it was difficult at first he will now soothe himself back to sleep instead of waking me up. Hope this helps some. Good luck

Just let him sleep swaddled. It's probably his comfort and security. Why take that away from him at any age, especially if it's not hurting him or anybody? Kids have different needs and it's not a good idea to interfere with what we question or don't like if it's pacifying the child without hurting him. Best of luck.

Use the Ferber method. I used it on both of my kids and it worked under a week. You have to let them cry it out but the book explains how to do it and it is painful for the first few days but it does work!

I've been there! Trust me -- it will get better.

The Fisher Price Flutterbye Soother has been our miracle product. My daughter started sleeping through the night (or getting herself back to sleep) as soon as we bought it.

She learned how to turn it on at night and would cry for a few seconds until it was on, then would go back to sleep. She's 19 months old now, and she still loves it and turns it on several times until she falls asleep and then maybe once or twice at night if she wakes up, and then again in the morning. She used to be up at 6, but now she turns it on, and goes back to sleep for 1-2 hours. I can't tell you how much this product has saved me!

Good luck!

Have you tried the sleep sacs? They are a blanket that zips over their pajamas. That might make him feel snug. They also make swaddling blankets that velcro closed. I wouldnt let him cry it out until he is 6 months. At that point they are able to settle themselves. There is research that shows that crying it out before then actually is bad for them.

I have a 6 mo old boy and after he could no longer stay swaddled we put him to bed in a sleeper & a sleep sack. We bought our sleep sack at Babies R Us. It keeps him warm & we don't have to worry about a blanket covering his face. My son started sleeping thru the night at 3 mos after we developed a bedtime routine. Every night at 8 we get him ready for bed then give him a bottle. After he finishes the bottle & burps I lay him in his crib with his lullaby CD playing softly. I believe it is the routine that comforts him & he does not cry at bedtime. Naps are another story. He will fight taking a nap. I also don't believe in letting him cry it out. But I have allowed him to cry a little. If I know he is okay I will let him cry maybe 5 minutes before picking him up & most of the time he falls asleep before the 5 minutes are up. I hope this helps.

I am a nanny and I had the same issue with one of my children. What I did was to make sure to put him in sleeper pajamas with footies so he will stay warm with or without the blankets and then I let him fuss for about ten to fifteen minutes before I would go in and rewrap him and put his pacifier back in. By the second or third time of gong in he would finally sucuumb to sleep and afterawhile he learned how to soothe himself. The hardest part is letting him fuss and not running in each time. If you can handle that then it might work for you and your son.

Hi E.:
I know this is going to sound crazy, but my sister had the same problem with her 3 month old. They took an ace bandage and wrapped it around her body. Nothing too tight, but just enough to keep the swaddle on through the night. I was horrified the first time I saw it, but it really works! Just a suggestion! :)

E.,
Our baby was the same way. She could only sleep when tightly swaddled even up to about 5 months old. What we did was two things: One make sure your swaddle blanket is big (so you have a lot of fabric to wrap around him that won't come lose easily). We found a good blanket at Target that is a waffle fabric (they are bigger then the receiving blankets which don't work). Another thing we did was at around 4 mos. old, we started swaddling our baby with one arm out (free). this way, she had one arm out to suck on if she wanted and it helped transition her from total swaddling to no swaddling. It worked for us. Eventually, we swaddled her with both arms out, then no swaddle at all. Also, make sure he isn't too hot in the swaddle. Hope this helps.
M.

My girlfriend and I were pregnant at the same time and she suggested a class we could take to place our children on a sleeping schedule. I thought it wouldn't be possible, but when we went through the class I was amazed of how possible it really is. The class was given by a couple in our area and they literature was done by Ezzo and Ezzo. I think the work book was called along the infant way. You are more than welcome to contact me with any questions you may have and if you want help in looking them up let me know. I live in the Dallas area, but my cell number is ###-###-####. Good luck,
J.

I have been in a 2 year nightmare with sleep issues. Solve it now while he's only 4 months old!! It only gets much worse. Read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I agree - I think letting them cry it out is unnatural and cruel. All it shows them is that they are unworthy of inconveniencing you. Not a very nice lesson. But sleep is important for his health and your sanity. I just read the follow-up book since my daughter is 2. It's "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers." It helped us a lot.

Hi E.,
I've got a 3 month old - I make sure she is fed- has a clean diaper. I let her cry it out...she needs to learn to put herself to sleep...I give it 15 minutes, and if she's still crying I check in on her. Sometimes they need a good cry- they exhaust themselves. It's like adults...when you have a good cry, you not only feel better, but you're exhausted and more at peace.
good luck

Try the miracle blanket. It helps to keep them swandled. I have not used it personally, but I own Mom's Best Friend and our baby nurse consultant swears by them. Their website is www.miracleblanket.com and they seem to be affordable. I hope this helps!!

Read the sleep chapter in Secrets of the Baby Whisperer or Babywise. I think Secrets as a few more tips on getting the child down to bed before becoming overtired but both books have very similar philosophies on sleep which have been lifesavers for me and very effective on both of my children. Swaddling was very effective initially on both of my children but since both were very large babies, I probably only swaddled for 2-3 months max. I still wrap my 6 month old in a blanket but leave her arms out so she can get them to her face if she wants too (she is still NOT a thumbsucker though and does not take a pacifier). It will probably be about a three day transition (per Secrets and my experience) but I would get him down to sleep when you see the first signs of tiredness (yawning or eye rubbing if he is doing that yet)wrap him in the blanket arms out, go back periodically to pat and reassure him if he is crying, but it sounds as if you are going to have to let him cry some to get through this transition so he can become an independent sleeper. Know that you are doing the best for him and you in the end.
D.

Dear E.:

I had the same problem with my son who is 17 now. Maybe what I did will sound quite weird but it worked out for me... My husband is a Handyman so we have plenty of wheelbarrows at home. I lined it nicely, layed him down in it and walked him around the block... when we got home again he was always sleeping. Of course, this can only be done in nice weather... for bad weather I layed him down on the back seat of the car and just went around the street with the same result. Hope you will find something that can help you but an advice from a mom with two great teens at home: never let him cry, they need to know and feel you are always there for them. Bye, M.

I just gave this same advice to another mom on this group about getting rid of the pacifier. You might try infant/child massage. There are several places in Dallas that can teach you the basics. My now 3 year old daughter would fall asleep every time I did this with her. Check with you pediatrician.

I highly recommend you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It will help you look at your child's sleeping in a whole new light.

I have three children, my youngest is 8 months...so I have been there and I view developing healthy sleep habits as one of the best gifts you can give your children (and yes, it usually does involve some crying). But I have now have a 7 year old and a 2 1/2 year old who go to bed at 7 pm and sleep until 7 am. My 8 month old is well on his way to getting their as well!

Good luck!

R.

Hi E.,

I have been swaddeling my baby with the Miracle Blanket...and it is the best thing ever invented, however it does say on the package to use from newborn to 14 weeks. I have also tried the swaddling velcro thing at Babies R Us, and personally did not find it helpful. I know the day is coming soon to wean my baby off swaddling also, so best of luck to you! I am already reading to decide what the best method is for me, but personally don't believe in the crying it out thing. I know there has got to be a better way! Personally I am going to try some of the methods that other moms adivised you on...by just leaving one arm out at at time etc..

Best of luck with you little one!

K.

I know you're going to get mixed reviews on this subject, and you have to find something that fits you and your baby.

For me, I really liked the baby whisperer method (www.babywhisperer.com) It's a more soothing method than letting a baby cry it out, because when a baby is born that's the only language it knows "crying". You need to let the baby gain your trust, and actually teach him/her to fall asleep on his own. If you go to the website or actually get the book it will teach you how to do the soothing method. All three of the my kids were sleeping through the night by 10 weeks, and that wasn't let them cry it out.

Good luck with what ever method you choose. :)

The Ferber Method is what recommend in our Pedi office. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671620991/002-###-###-#...
is the book. Basically it says set a routine at night (rock, tell a story read a short book something age appropriate) put baby to sleep awake and let her cry it out. After a set time go in and talk to her and pat her but DO NOT pick her up. If she still cries, again wait a specific time and just soothe and pat. After a few days you extend the period of allow her to cry before going in and soothing. The big thing is that the baby learns to put herself toi sleep.
It has worked for all 4 of my kids.
Feel free to e-mail w/ any questions.

D.

There is a book called "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau. I have used it since my baby was born and it has been a total life saver.....it has a remedy for every sleeping problem and eating problem in the book....and much more....I suggest getting this book ASAP...your life will be so much easier....and the answer to your question is...no don't let your baby cry it out...you'll read more in the book on baby emotions. There is no quick fix, just be patient.

I know the crying out sounds cruel, but it only takes a night or two and, miraculously, it's over. The sooner you do it, the sooner you get to bed. I promise.

Have you ever seen those sleep positioners? Well I used one of those on my son which seemed to keep him comfortable because you can get the positioner right up next to there bodies... it feels for them like your cuddling them up. They also make a blanket I believe its at babies are us.. and it's called a swaddler. Its so cool cuz you just stick the baby in it and it velcro's to keep it tight.

I used the book Babywise -- recommended to me by a friend. It took a month or so. But, we started our son on the schedule around 4 months and he slept from 11pm to 6-7am after a couple of weeks of using it. He is now 15 months and really hasnt had any problems sleeping in his room since. Occasionally he wakes up b/c I can hear him. But, he has realized that his crib is a safe place and goes back to sleep on his own.

Also, I am not sure what they are called but in several baby catalogs I hae seen swaddlers -- that you put your baby in that allows them to be swaddled w/o using a blanket. You can find it at one step ahead -- catalog -- online.

Good luck -- all children are not alike and it takes others a lot longer to do things than others. Example -- my great sleeper is taking his time on other "milestones"?

C.

we went through the EXACT same thing!! we had always swaddled our son when he went to bed because it really calmed him and helped him to sleep. at 4 months he was always "escaping" the swaddle and he wasn't sleeping well at all. we went cold turkey and abandoned the swaddling. we had always laid him down for naps while he was still awake so we continued doing that. we would lay him on his back in the crib with a light blanket over him and a very small "cuddle" blanket tucked next to his face. we also gave him the pacifier like normal. the first night was pretty awful. he cried for about 2 hours off and on. we would check on him to make sure he was ok, but not talk to him or touch him. the second night it was only about 30 minutes and the 3rd night there wasn't any crying at all. we discussed the options with many friends and our pediatrician. they all said "let him cry it out". he has to learn how to put himself to sleep. earplugs are very helpful! i would put my husband on watch and i would close all the doors and put in my plugs. it was heartbreaking and awful, but it was the best for him and for us. most of our friends said it just took a couple of nights to train their children. it's very important to not pick him up, sing to him, etc. because then he will continue to cry to get socialization time with mommy! good luck. feel free to write back if you have any questions!
M.

It's time to start cereal, mom. Pour dry rice infant cereal into an 8 oz bottle to the 2 ounce mark. Fill it on up with whatever he drinks...breast milk or formula. Mix well. Increase the size of the hole in the nipple..just a little...until you can tell he's able to suck it through the hole. Not too big or he will strangle. Start him on this in the evening bottle. If he's still not calm when he sleeps, begin to add it to his earlier bottles. In time, you may have to increase the amount of cereal and size of the hole in the nipple. Just use your own judgement. It may take a few days to get it all right and to see a difference in the way he sleeps.

I know that most of the newer pediatricians do not recommend feeding cereal from a bottle; but, from over 20 years experience caring for children in my home, I can guarantee you he will respond well to this. Then perhaps you both can get some sleep, :).

Hi E.,
I've been through this with my own daughter and many children that I cared for in my day care. At that age they really should not be swaddled any more. They need to be able to move and switch sleeping positions. Make sure too that you are rotating him from side to side and front to back, if you haven't been already. It's sad to see children’s heads that are flat on the back. They don't ever really shape to a round head. To get him to sleep, try giving him a warm bath with lavender, feed him his last bottle warm, use the blanket to hold him, place him on his tummy to sleep and cover him with his blanket. Babies sleep more soundly on their tummy. Play soft music and make it as dark as possible. Some times if a child sleeps too much during the day they will not be as sleepy at night. As he gets older you may try to keep him on the same schedule, but he will not need as much day time sleep, but more night time sleep. At 4 months it is normal to nap for about 2 hours twice a day. If he wake up at 6:30 am put him down at 9:00-11:00 then again between 2:00-4:00. Then he should be ready to go to sleep at night around 7:00. I've worked with many children and this seems to be a popular schedule with most parents. As he get older he should be able to lessen the day naps to a shorter morning nap, but stay up longer between his afternoon nap and when he goes to bed for the night. The swaddling thing will just take some time. I just discovered a great thing for kids with a stuffy nose. You can get it over the counter. It's called SudaCare Vapor Plug. It's kinda like a glade plug in, only it has a vapor pad that you insert into the wall plug. The heat from being plugged in helps to release the vapor into the room. It has menthol, rosemary, eucalyptus and a few other ingredients that help you breath. Just rocking my daughter to sleep last night and breathing the vapor made my nose open up and I could breathe better.
I hope all of this helps you.
M.
In-Home Day Care Provider

Hi E.,

I know exactly where you are coming from. My daughter is a very picky sleeper and had to sleep on her stomach (which, as you know, is frowned upon at that age!). Some of our solutions were different than what you need, but I did learn that children at that age can adapt well if we let them. I would let him cry it out, letting him get used to being unswaddled. And he will probably adapt faster than you think. I promise, its will be harder on you than him.

I hope this helps! Good luck!!

Hi E.: I feel for you. I have a 4.5 month old and I had the same problem with him. I bought the kidapodumus (or something like that) at Babies R Us and that worked for awhile but once he figured out how to move around good, it's a bit hard to keep him in it. He still has trouble sleeping at the sitter's where he stays during the day. Do you have problems with this at night and during the day? My suggestion would be that for now, just maybe swaddle his arm, but leave his legs free. Also, once he starts learning to roll over (which should be soon) he'll learn to get into the position that is most comfortable for him and maybe he'll sleep then. Also, I had tried back sleeping for my son and he hated, so I turned him on his side and put a long, oval shapped stuff doll between his arms (to mimick him lying next to me) and that helped control his waving arms. I hope this helps some. Good luck.