Sleeping - Mount Laurel,NJ

I haven't read through the answers, but I wanted to say that, based on my experience with my son and some other babies, I think that some babies cry while falling asleep. Maybe it's something with their nervous system that they have trouble relaxing, but my son did it for about a year. We tried everything and EVERY time he went to sleep he cried first. It ended at about a year and he is a great sleeper. I am a fan of CIO though and believe it teaches them to fall asleep by themselves. I do a kind of modified CIO, going in to calm, not picking up, and leaving as soon as they stop crying. It's a bit labor-intensive at first, but I think it works. Good luck!

I had this problem with my son who is now 2 just a few months ago. I told him it was time to sleep and left. When he cried for me I went in said "it;s time to sleep goodnight", kissed him and went out of the room again. The next time he cried I did the same thing and then once he cried for me from then on I went in didn't make eye contact and didn't talk to him, I just kissed him and went out of the roomk again. I did this over and over again and eventually he got the point. It took 3 nights total but was easier each night. I hope this helps. I don't agree with crying it out and this system worked for me. I felt that he knew I was still there for him but that I was in charge of the situation and he was going to sleep by himself. Good luck. If you have any questions feel free to email me.

I don't think there is ever any reason to use the cio method to teach a child to sleep. Never. Doesn't mean that a few tears won't be shed while baby is learning to sleep but leaving a baby to cry while you stand on the other side of the door and count the minutes really goes against every mothering instinct I posses and it has been shown to flood baby's system with stress hormones. Doesn't seem like the kind of night I want for my little ones.

Babies have to be taught how to sleep. They don't automatically know how. I was able to get very, very valuable sleep info from Dr. Sears Baby Sleep Book, The Baby Whisperer, and The No-cry Sleep Solution. They really helped me understand baby sleep, how babies learn to sleep and tips and tricks to make the process easier on everyone. I taught both of my kids to sleep. They both took slightly different approaches and amount of time before they slept thru the night but every baby is different. I held both my kids till they were asleep in the early days (even at your daughter's age) and made gradual transitions to them doing it on their own. Now at almost 6 and 2 they are easy sleepers who do it on their own.

I found that once I got the nap routine/napping down the nighttime sleep started to fall into place. Sleep begets sleep. An over-tired, worn out baby will fight sleep at every turn.

I would implore you to learn about baby sleep before going the cio route. If you do decide to go that way you need to read all the info you can on the Ferber method.

Hi D.,

May sound crazy but you sound ready to try anything....Use a non-toxic laundry detergent on all your clothes and her bedding. I KNOW that chemicals stimulate and aggitate and some little ones are more susceptible to it than adults. Cuddling up close when your trying to get her down and her waking up after she's asleep sounds to me like she is agitated by something. I detoxed my home over 5 years ago and my children sleep much better. My husband has always had sleep issues and although not always a perfect night's sleep, he does sleep better.

If you're interested in trying a detox of the home I'm willing to tell you what I did. It was easy and inexpensive and has done wonders for our family.

God bless,

M.

I know your pain. My 3 year old has done the same thing since birth, she still fights sleep. CIO never worked as she has been strong willed. She will cry for hours only to take a short break making you think its over, only to start all over again. It leaves all of the household unrested and makes the next day miserable for all. The only way my daughter gets any real sleep in in bed with us. Not that it's a great solution but it does for a moments peace.

When my daughter was 8 months, I could've written you post! I felt like I was the only one with a screaming, sleep-hating 8 mo. baby. She never fell asleep without me rocking her in my arms, but also freaked out when she noticed I was doing that - knowing I was about to put her in the crib. I felt exhausted every time I'd put her to sleep (naps & night), only to go through it again several times a night. My back felt like it was breaking from rocking her, and I'd reached my true "wits end" and was starting to resent her. I'd already read the "No Cry Sleep Solution", believing that CIO was bad, and found that the methods in that book didn't work for my headstrong daughter. After feeling literally broken, I was ready to try what every other mother friend was suggesting - Ferber's method. I read his book thoroughly first (you could prob. get it at your library), and came to realize that people are very misguided by calling his method "cry it out". Well, I can tell you, I feel like that book saved me! After TWO days of trying Ferber's method (putting baby down awake and leaving the room for small, increasing intervals; calming the baby in between, but never rocking them to sleep), my daughter was falling asleep on her own, not crying at all, and sleeping 6-7hrs on her own. Previously, she never slept more that 2 hrs without needing to be "re-rocked" back to sleep. By 10 months, she was sleeping through the night, with no crying at bedtime or nap, and has been an excellent sleeper ever since. She is now 5yrs old, and for all those Ferber haters who think it's harmful - my daughter is a well-adjusted, loving, social little girl. No emotional scars from learning how to sleep on her own. Looking back, I really think I was sort of getting in her way with all that rocking and just needed to let her learn how to fall asleep without me being so involved. Things went much better with my 2nd daughter, having the Ferber knowledge from the beginning. I wrote to you because I know your pain - just reading your post brought me right back to that spot emotionally and I could feel my own desparation from that time. Ferber's method literally changed my life. Your daughter is definitely old enough to try it, and you can do as little increments as you want - 1 min. at first. I think you will be surprised by how easy it is. I had braced myself for a week long (or more) battle, but found that it worked the very first time I tried it. I had to go in about several times that first nap, but she fell asleep ON HER OWN, and that to me was a small miracle. Best wishes to you! It does get better.

I'm in the same boat at Heather P....my youngest has slept with us since 2 months old..he is now almost 2 years..I gave up trying to sleep train him for the same reasons. Since 2 months, the whole family has slept great...we will transistion him to his own bed at the end of this month; it will start with me sleeping on his floor until he falls asleep (I put a mattress on the floor of his room)..did the same with my oldest son and he sleeps great now!...Sleep was the only thing that was important to us at the time and putting him in our bed changed everything...he sleeps 8p-8a every night now!!!..Good luck! PS: Don't take anyone else's advice about CIO...you do what works for you!!!...Its such a touchy subject, everyone thinks they have the answer...

Are you nursing, if so...I found that learning how to nurse my baby to sleep while laying down is an invaluable tool at nap time and bedtime. It was awkward at first, but is second nature now. Just prop her up on her side and lay down facing her.

Honestly, give her a few minutes when she wakes up crying and see if she goes back to sleep. I found that I would go immediately when my sons woke up and when I just waited a few minutes, they did go back to sleep.

I am a HUGE fan of Dr Ferber's Sleep Solutions book. It saved my life, and my marriage countless times and worked with both of my kids. I would highly recommend reading it. It is most well known for the cry it out technique but there is so much more to this book than that one thing. There are timed intervals for going in to the room. I cannot stress enough how much this book helped me. I hope you get the book and get some sleep soon!
P.S. The age you can begin cry it out is 5 months, so she is ready!

I love the CIO method we followed...but (as with any method) you've got to commit to it and follow through or it won't work. We did it with my daughter when she was 4 1/2 months old and in the span of a week she went from fragmented naps/night sleep to sleeping a consistent 1 1/2 hours 3x a day and 12 hour nights. And she's been an excellent sleeper ever since.
As for how long the child cries in the beginning of sleep training, it really depends on you and the child. This method allows parents to peek in and soothe the child with your voice but we found that doing that just made her angry and she'd cry harder. She could cry over an hour, even being as exhausted as she was (She's pretty stubborn! LOL) We upped the time in her crib by 15 minute increments...finally, at 1/1/2 hours she began to sleep. And each day it was less crying and more sleeping.
By the end of the week we saw huge improvements. But we had to stay consistent. That is the key.
If you're interested in trying CIO I'd suggest looking at The Sleepeasy Solution by Jennifer Waldburger. The method itself is fairly similar to Ferber but I think it's a more sympathetic approach. It's never easy to train your little one but when you think of the wonderful gift you're teaching them (how to self-soothe and fall asleep independently) it is so worth the few days of crying. Sleepeasy Solution is a wonderful way to train your little one and it's an excellent resource to have when they hit those bumps in sleeping process (teething, travel, growth spurts etc...).

Along with using this method we also set up a consistent sleep routine.....and we modified her room a bit. We took the toys and mobile from her crib (b/c cribs are for sleeping, not playing), we bought room darkening curtain liners which kept the room nice and dark and we also put in a fan for white noise so that household sounds wouldn't affect her sleep.
Good Luck!

First make sure she is eating to absolute capacity all day long. You may think she is if she seems fine and eats on a regular schedule, but she can probably eat more if she is having such a hard time sleeping. My step sister with 12 kids got her kids sleeping through the night by 3 months old this way and always used cry it out. I didn't find out about it until my daughter was STILL waking up twice a night at 11 1/2 months and she clued me in! As soon as I fed her more, three days later, she never woke up again at night.
Really make sure your daughter is well fed before doing CIO, and she may not wake up anyway. It will take her body a few days to register the new increased calories, so give it a few days. When you do start CIO, just make sure she's well fed, clean, had plenty of exercise and/or some sunshine in her day, nice bed time routine, soothing blanky or even bottle at first, put her down, and walk away. The longer you go back and occasionally sooth, the longer it will take. Three days is all it takes usually cold turkey. Since your daughter is older, and used to all the rocking etc, it may take a bit longer. Week tops.
Don't focus on the fact that she is crying in the short term, focus on the fact that you are enabling her to feel happy and secure on her own at night. Yes, she's old enough-WAY old enough! Good luck!

I let my twins CIO when they were 5.5 months old and it only took a few days. It was the best thing I ever did because I was a walking zombie until then.

I never read a book. At 11 weeks my daughter would not go to sleep! She had to be moving all the time and as soon as I stopped, she would wake up. Her Dr. told me to sleep train her. Put her in her crib, leave for as long as I could stand it, go back in and pick her up. Comfort her but make sure she didn't fall asleep while holding her. Lay her back down and repeat until she fell asleep on her own. I cried! She cried! I was told to start with nap time because it could take a while and it would be easier on me during the day. I did it and it worked. I don't remember how long it took so it couldn't have taken more than a day or two and by 18 months, she was putting herself to bed. It came full circle and she stopped going to bed without a fight at 2 - but that is a story for another time!! ;-) Good luck!

Cry WHAT out? Her NEED to be held and acknowleged as a person with needs?
Clearly, I do not believe in the CIO method. I think it's really unkind to deliberately ignore the needs of a child. Is it always convenient to meet those needs? No! But guess what?--It's part of motherhood, isn't it? I know it's hard, but I promise that it won't last forever.
Some children have more needs than others. Dr. Sears refers to these children as "High Need" children/babies. He has a couple of books about them. One is "The Fussy Baby Book". "Attachment Parenting" and "Nighttime Parenting" are also excellent books!

You have my deepest empathies b/c my son is also a High Need child & had a very difficult time sleeping at night by himself. Honestly, it took him a long time to be able to do it on a regular basis. For US, the best way to deal w/ it was part-time co-sleeping.
What we'd do is put him to bed @ night in his crib after a very consistant bedtime routine. Then when he woke up, if I was still awake, I'd go in his room, rock & nurse him & then sing our "bedtime" song & put him back down. If I'd already gone to sleep, I'd just take him into our bed, where he'd stay for the rest of the night.
Every family & situation is different, but for us, this worked wonders & we ALL slept better and for MUCH longer!

Hang in there!!!

I've had both kinds of babies. Now we have one like I've never had before. She also is a special needs baby and has some kind of problem at night--not sure if she can't breathe at times, has BAD nightmares, etc. I put her down at night and she usually goes peacefully to sleep. Then sometimes she wakes up frantic over something. I don't spoil my children, but when a child is scared or has a real need, I will not allow her to scream because she needs my comfort. One ER dr. told me that sometimes the tonsils (if they are large to begin with) lie flat when the child is lying down, causing the airway to close. He suggested that I take her to the ENT specialist to be checked. There is a difference between a child just wanting to be with a parent and having a real need--the cry is very differentm therefore being handled much differently.

You'll find some people like using CIO, but I am one who found it didn't work for my kids. My son probably never "fell asleep on his own" until he was well over 1 year old. Shocking to some people, yes, but that's what worked for us. When I did try CIO with him, he freaked out every time we even went into his bedroom, that told me that CIO was not right for us.

Do whatever you have to do so that she and you are getting the most rest possible. I feel your pain . . my son was the same at 8 months old and I definately spent more time putting him to sleep than he actually slept. It is soooo frustrating. Try CIO if you feel it's the right thing to do, but if it feels like it's not working for her, be okay with going to a plan B. The most helpful advice i got from other moms when my kids were little and I was dealing with sleep deprivation was "remember this too shall pass". You can't force them to sleep (or eat), so the best I could do was make peace with the way things were right then, remember it will change (soon) although it doesn't seem like it, and do what you feel is right.

Best luck to you!!

cio method works!!!http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-ou...

I'm a huge fan of Dr. Ferber's Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems. But I HATE it when people call it "CIO." CIO is when you put your kid in the crib, leave, and don't come back. That's horrible for you, the kid, and everyone else. Dr. Ferber has a sleep training system (that, frankly, most of the other ones like No Cry Sleep and Sleep Easy are based on) of making sure the child is ABLE to go to sleep (sufficiently tired, not hungry, not wet/dirty, not in pain,etc.), a bedtime routine, good sleep "hygiene" (putting them in the crib sleepy but awake, small nightlight, one lovey) and then progressively longer intervals of crying without you checking on them. Please, please read his book before you try it. So many people think they know what the Ferber method is, and then don't do it correctly and then have made the problem 10 times worse than it was before they started.

Good luck and good for you for trying to get on top of this. I promise you your lives will all be better once you help her learn good sleep habits.