Hey J., Bless your heart, I know how you feel. My 13 mo old is doing the same thing. Is he walking yet? Did he just discover some NEW activity like running, climbing, etc. My little one just started walking and she's so excited about it, she can't seem to keep her mind off it, even at night. My 5 year old did the same at this age. I think they are really starting to develop mentally and you know how WE stay awake at night thinking and we can't take our minds off of thing?
Another though, my 5 year old was ADDICTED to Finding Nemo at about 14months. She would wake up in the night and scream for it. I was a single mom at the time, and our lives had been completely wrecked and we had moved into 3 different homes in 4 months to whomever would take us. She reacted to my stress, and her sleep habits were greatly affected for a long time after that.
So, I was living with my mom and dad, and my mom suggested that she was being over stimulated by Nemo. We cut it out for a couple months, went back to Baby Einstine, Praise Baby... infant things. Also, I COULD NOT take her to the mall, or Walmart or really, anyplace busy because it overstimulated her so much. We always had a terrible night after something like that.
I know you're feeling badly right now about bringing him to bed. But guess what. Some people frown on that, they start their babies out in the cribs and they never let them into the "family bed", which is great, if that is your wish! But your baby only has YOU right now, and you have HIM. I think you should not beat yourself up about it. DO what you think is right because I have been there, a scared young toddler whose daddy left (although your's is fighting for a righteous cause and THANK YOU both for that!!!)
If you want your baby in bed with you, do it. If you BOTH sleep better, fine. When my baby was older, when I remarried, she was almost 3 and we gradually got her to sleep in her big bed alone. now I have really no problems with it.
I know child psycologists would chide me for this, but your baby is only a BABY once! They will grow out of it sooner than you think. I look back and hate the way I got upset after getting up 3 or 4 times a night because she wouldn't stay asleep. It affected my job, my mood, I was trying to do what the books said, but instead I fought with her for months and probably kept both her and myself upset and both cranky and resenting night time.
Let me know if you just need to talk. I have been through real "single motherhood" with my whole world ripped apart. I know its tough and I have a little one close to your son's age. Guess what, she wakes up almost every morning around 5 or 6 and I put her in bed with us. She wakes up happy and cheerful, she doesn't cry and wale and keep us up, and most of all, I don't resent her for doing it, like I did my first. And I can't go back and fix that...
Hang in there ;)