Getting Children to Their Own Rooms

M.,
I had a very similar situation, and well understand. The reason your 6mo old is waking up is because he has become aware of your movements and the noises. He wakes up everytime you turn or change in breathing pattern. I have a 6yr old and 4yr old both boys. My oldest slept in the bed with my husband and me for several months because it was much easier to nurse and sleep that way. I weaned him at 6mos and put him in a crib next to my bed. Unfortunately I did not see the BIG picture and he stayed there until my youngest was born 19 mos later. It was a terrible transition to move him to his own room. He woke every hour and cried, sometimes every 30 min. I finally asked the Dr. and he advised me that it was a schedule or pattern if you will that needed to be broken. I am not one to let my children cry it out, but he told me to let him cry for at least 10min. Then after a day or so let him cry for more time increasing in 5min increments. He only got to 15 min and then he cried no more. I think it lasted a week at most. I allowed my youngest to also sleep in the crib beside my bed, but once he was totally weaned from nursing, I immediately put him in his own room. He was 7 mos old and it went so smooth I kicked myself for waiting so long with the oldest. I truly believe that it was because he had gotten so secure knowing I was there, that he had to be "weaned" from me. I strongly suggest that both the boys be moved from you room. It will drastically improve their sleep, your sleep and your relationship with your husband.

There is no easy way. I had my two youngest 13 months apart. Jacob, the older of the two, was sleeping in our bed every night by the time Joshua came along. We tried moving him after he fell asleep but he would wake up crying in the middle of the night and out of convenience we would just put him back in the bed with us and go back to sleep. Because I never started that with Joshua, we didn't have that problem with him. We always put him in his bed to go to sleep. Anyway, the doctor told us that the reason Jacob was waking up is because he was being moved. She said that everyone, even adults, wake to a semi-conscious state in the night. When that happens and they are not in the same place where they fall asleep they get scared or agitated and it brings them to a full state of consciousness. I explained to her that he WOULD NOT go to sleep in his bed. She quite bluntly said..."Oh, yes he will. You won't let him." She told us to put him in his bed and let him cry for 5 minutes. Then go in and lay him down and reassure him that we are still there but that it is time to go to bed. Then wait 10 minutes and if he is still crying do the same and then 15 minutes and so on. She said that if he wakes at night, repeat the routine...lay him down, wait 5 minutes, lay him down, wait 10 minutes, etc. After 2 nights he was fine and now, 5 years later, we still have no issues with this. This works with kids that are still in cribs. Now for the older child...Super Nanny says to put them in their bed, if the get up, take then by the hand, tell them that it is bedtime and that he needs to stay in bed (no long conversations...just short and to the point) take them to bed and tuck them in. If they get up again, take them by the hand and say, "It is bedtime" firmly and tuck them in. If they get up again, say nothing and tuck them in. Eventually they will get the point. I have had to do this to make my kids stay in time out. It is tiring but after going through the routine a few time it works. In the long run, it saves a lot of frustration.

im not one to ask for advice. my two kids sleep with me still. its me my husband, my 2& 1/2 yr old, my 10 month old and then me all in a queen size bed. when you find a way to get them to sleep in their own beds please let me know.

Hi M.- I had my son in my room until he was 5 and when my daughter was born it became to much to handle- Not only did I wake up everytime she moved, I woke up every move he made too! I needed to get some sleep-by the way my husband was deployed over seas at the time. there is no easy way to do it other than just to do it. I had a talk with my son and said that it was time for him to be a big boy and sleep in his own bed. and although it was tough for the first few nights it did work. the baby had not developed a huge attachment of being in our room so I just starting putting her in her crib in her room and allowed her to get used to it and she started putting herself asleep.

I know it sounds impossible now, but I promise stick to your plan and it will get better!

You have to put your foot down and JUST DO IT. We shared our bed with our now 4 1/2 yr old for 4 years!! I became so fond of sharing our bed with him all those years, that I think the idea of making him sleep on his own in his own bed and own room scared me more than it did him! I think the key to our success at transitioning him, though, had to do with the fact that he SAW and KNEW that my husband and I were on the same page. Even though it was hard, and deep down I really didn't want him to have to sleep on his own, I couldn't show him that I was feeling that way. That was the problem the dozens of times before that we tried moving him to his own bed. He saw the weakness in mommy and played on it!! Kids are A LOT smarter than we think! So this time around we just made it VERY short and sweet and told him that he was a big boy & it was time for him to sleep in his own bed. He cried for a good 1/2 hour or so when we informed him that day that it would be his first night in his own big boy bed! But when it actually came down to it - he did GREAT! We went all out and turned his bed into a spiderman frenzy spiderman sheets, blankets, his spider man toys, etc. He loved it & I think this helped encourage him! That was over 6 months ago and we haven't looked back! He now loves his bedtime, and looks forward to our prayers and story-time each evening. But again, I think the KEY to SUCCESS in getting your child(ren) to sleep on their own is to just put your foot down in the beginning, and don't give in or show weakness. Oh, and make sure you and your hubby are always on the same page!! HTH's & Good Luck!!

Have you thought about the boys sharing a room? I have two girls that are 3 years apart and I made a similar mistake, I let the older one into my bed as a baby & I couldn't get her out. This did not make daddy happy.

Once the baby was out of a crib, I put two twin beds in the same room and let the girls share and they love it. If one gets scared in the night, rather than getting in my bed, she just climbs in with her sister. It won't last forever, but it is working now and my girls seem to be much closer as a result.

The best way I found that works is to put a picture of you and your husband next to your sons bed and tell him you can hear him and also tell him if he gets scared all he needs to do is look at your picture and know you are with him that has work for all 4 of our children.GOOD LUCK!!!!!!! V. W.