Sleeping Problem with My 2 Year Old

Is this new behavior or ongoing? If new, it could be teething issues or an ear infection. My daughter was always a good sleeper but when she began waking up a lot crying and inconsolable, I finally took her to the dr. and they found a double ear infection. She never tugged at her ear so I didn't have a clue she had it. Teething has always kept her awake fussing, too. Just some thoughts. Good luck!

My 2year old son did the samething. He will wake up every night crying. I was ready to pull my hair out too.I started cutting out any scarey movies or show on TV even if I didn't think were scarey for me or an older child I cut them out. That worked for awhile and was sleeping for a month. Then he started speech classes and he started waking up again. I was told that at this age children had nightmares very time they are learning or doing something different. They don't know why but they do. I don't know if that is true or not.
I started giving him healthy snacks(like bananas, grapes, peanut butter crackers etc.) before he went to sleep and that has been working pretty well. He does not wake up crying anymore. He is 2 1/2 now. Maybe that well help her daughter too.

We went through the same thing. I found out that it is not uncommon at the age of 2-3. That doesn't help, but know you are not alone and it does get better.

Find out if it is sleep terrors. They DO look awake with sleep terrors, it is sort of like sleep walking, only a thousand times worse. If that is what it is determined to be here is what we learned.

My son did have sleep terrors-daily and repeatedly. We were told to NOT try to wake him up.
We were also told to NOT leave him alone due to the fact that he could hurt himself. My understanding is that sleep terrors are no time to let them "cry it out".
The biggest things that helped us were simple -

-same bedtime every night
-the exact same routine EVERY night (example: bath, snack, brush teeth, story, bed)
-no TV, etc. before bed
-a good night light
-a "sleep inducing" CD - the theory is that they help your brain waves go into sleep mode - I don't know what the science proves, but we have found them very effective
-try not to let your child get over tired. Naps as needed.
-healthy diet - no refined sugars, etc. Lots of protein, omega-3's, fresh fruit and veggies
-massage/acupressure (two sessions is all it took for us to see results)
- prayers and/or affirmations to the child while sleeping for peace while they sleep

Hang in there. They become teenagers eventually and then we'll be frustrated because they want to sleep all the time!

I have been battling the same thing. My 2 year old son is a terrible sleeper. He was actually put on valium because he went through a phase of only sleeping about 45 min at a time and then would wake at 5am for good. He was so sleep deprived they had no choice. He is better but still wakes confused and crying at around 11pm and then at around 5am wich most mornings is for good. We went to CHOP sleep center but not much help. We did try melotonin, a natural sleep vitamin wich seems to help. I feel for you. I have 1 year old too so the crying out is not an option because then they are both up. I am scared for school in september because sleep deprived kids tend to act out. I have kept the whole journal thing and cut out TV and sugar. Unfortunalty nothing helped and our pediatrician was at a loss too. I feel very alone and very tired. Please keep in touch for support.
J.
Mother of 2 boys (2.5 and 1 year) married for 5 years to a wonderful father who gets up many nights as well!

I am also new to Mamasource but I have so experience with what you are going through. My daughter who is now 10 had what our pediatrician said was night terrors. She would be crying, yelling and an occasional screaming out.
This started arond the time she was 2 and lasted for quite a while. About 3 years. It seemed to come in cycles. It would happen every night for a week or so and then it would stop for a few months. Then back again. It finally tapered of. Now she does still dream and talk out loudly but very rarely. The key to it from what my doctor said and what research I did on my own is there is nothing to make it stop once they start.They sleep right through it. I tried waking her and soothing her but once I thought she was done and quietly back to sleep it would start all over again. My son also would wake up from it on occasion. He was just a baby when we were in the worst of it. I would just sit in the room with her until she would stop. I hope some of theis is helpful. L. R

J....I can completely relate!! I have a 21-month old son who was following the same patterns. He's doing better now and seems to be consoled very quickly when he wakes up, as opposed to taking quite awhile. Two things: first, I noticed that if he had been under a lot of stress or had been acting extra "needy" he would have additional crying and fussing at night. Second, I noticed some big molar teeth coming in shortly after the waking and crying started. Sounds like your little one is experiencing some sort of pain or discomfort, whether it be physical or emotional. Perhaps she's going through some major milestones at daycare and wants some extra mom time for comfort/support. My husband and I have been practising attachment parenting (or a modification thereof) and any time I notice our son being super needy, I turn up the love and spend extra time with him, whether we read more books before bed or I just give him more undivided attention and hugs. Sometimes, I wear him in our sling while I do nighttime housework (laundry and dishes usually) and he seems really content just to be close. I hope this helps...hang in there!

I'm also new to the site. Does your daughter ever say she is dreaming about anything? There are medications to help ease nightmares. Does she have to go to the bathroom right away? My children would occasionally wake up crying if they had to go to the bathroom but weren't awake enough to realize it. If it happens so consistently I wouldn't think she was spoiled but I would definitely bring it to your pediatricians attention.
Cindy F.

Hi J.,

How long has this been happening? It could be molars. When my son got his molars, he didn't sleep through the night for about 2 months.

Good luck!

J.

A Mother's Boutique
Breastfeeding clothing, nursing bras, breast pumps, slings and accessories. MamaSource members receive 10% off their first order (excluding breastpumps) using promo code MAMASOURCE.
http://www.mothersboutique.com

when did this start?

anything traumatic happen in your life or hers ?

problems at day care?

That low pitched whine is a cry for attention. She needs to know that you won't respond to that. You can tell the difference, when she actually needs something it will be a more frantic cry. Let her cry till she realizes you won't come for her if she just wants attention, after a while she will not do it anymore. Give it a week or two and see if it helps. You can take her temperature and make sure that she isn't sick. If they have something really wrong, they will have a temperature.

I actually would like to start with asking you a question. Are you sure she is actually waking up. My friend's little girl had night terrors. She would wake up crying. She would look at her mother as if her mother was a stranger. Although her eyes were open and she was crying, my friend couldn't console her and her daughter seemed to be more afraid or upset when her mother tried to help.

It happened when she was about 2 1/2 years old. If she pulls away from you and doesn't really respond to you, she might not actually be awake. It was always a little scary for my friend. I don't remember how they resolved it. Part of it was monitoring it and watching to make sure she was on a consistent schedule. If I were you, I would call her pediatrician and tell him what is going on. I would rule out night terrors or any other medical cause. Also, watch her when she is waking to see if she is actually waking up. I know my friend's daughter would occasionally have thenm with her haps as well. When she first seemed to wake up and was crying, she often times was not actually awake yet. It would sometimes take her up to 20 minutes to actually wake up.

While in your case in might not be night terrors, if my notes on my friend's little girl sound familiar, it is worth checking in to. One last thing to remember is to keep track of it for awhile. That way you will know if it is getting better or worse or seems to be tied to any changes in routine or eating habits.

Good luck.

Hi J.,

I work in sleep research. My suggestion to you is to keep a sleep diary for about 2 weeks. Write down when your child is awake and when she is asleep. Keep track of medicines if any (time taken and what has been taken). Also, keep track what she is eating and when. Also, does she get really hungry just before bedtime? This could be significant also.

I would also keep her away from any electronic stimulation (tv, computer, etc) before bedtime.... which it sounds like you are already doing.

After accumulating this information, I would take it to your pediatrician.

Another thing, when you go into her room, does she know you are there or is she in her "own little world?"

If you have any questions, please feel free to send me a message....

Best of luck...

After reading about all the people writing about night terrors.....

I see that many people are talking to you about night terrors. I didn't bring that up, because for one, you don't want to scare someone and two, it's better to start w/a sleep diary to see if something else could be causing anything. Anyways, I'm going to give you a little brief explanation of night terrors and nightmares....

Night terrors

Child is aroused after a long period of delta sleep (slow wave/deep sleep NREM-awakening from a non-dream state). Most night terrors occur at the beginning of the night (first 1/3 of the night), when your child is in a deep sleep. They will wake up disoriented. It generally happens during the ages of 4-12, more in males than females, there is no treatment and they generally outgrow it.

They will generally wake up screaming and looking around wildly, be disoriented and frightened (they may look like they are looking right through you) and they may not be able to communicate with you. There is generally and increased heart rate and they appear flushed and sweaty. Generally after about 15 minutes, they will fall back to sleep. With night terrors, they can not remember the dream that aroused them. Will often happen 1-2x/week.

YOU DO NOT want to wake a child up if they are having night terrors. You should try to protect them from anything that could harm them, and if you can, try to get them back to bed. BUT DO NOT WAKE THEM!!

Nightmares

They generally are awoken from REM (dream state) and they can recall their dream in vivid detail. They generally do not have an elevated heart rate, are not sweaty or flushed and can fall right back to sleep.

Generally happens in ages 2-3 and then generally they diminish, but they could go on into adulthood. (Those who have life long nightmares may also have another psychiatric disorder as well).

From what you originally wrote, it sounds more like she is just getting the better of you, but you never know, and that is why I suggested a sleep diary and good sleep hygiene (standard bedtime, no tv, etc....) Also, having the sleep diary, you have something to take to the doctor to say hey....this is what is happening and here is her routine for the past xx weeks...can you help me....do you see anything abnormal...etc.

T.

37 y.o. mom of 3 boys 12, 9, and 4. Married to my best friend for 13+ years. Work fulltime in healthcare (sleep research) am a free lance photographer, and sell southern living at home for fun!

Sometimes babies just need to cry and their is nothing wrong. Try soft light in the room and music. Also try a favorite soft toy with a pleasent aroma ( lavender and rose pettals ).I also found that if you keep their room at a comfortable temperature so that they don't need big heavy blankets they usually will sleep a lot better! Hope this helps!

God Bless
S.

hi!
i have just recently gone through this with my two year old and he would wake his infant sister!!! i would go in to console him and all it seemed to accomplish was to stimulate him into a more alert/awake state. after a few of these episodes, my husband and i stopped going in (but of course we just laid there awake listening to him crying or - VERY hard - or trying to console the baby if she had been woken), but in just a few nights (3-4 i think)the episodes stopped and we all started sleeping through the night again. he didn't wake up crying either. a few months later my daughter started waking in the night and i knew she wasn't hungry. i tried letting her "self soothe" as they say, and she was sleeping through the night again in just two nights! it was soooo hard but very worth it.
good luck!

Hi J.,

My 2 year old wakes up in the middle of the night and cries for me. At first I would go in and console him, but it would take a few hours to get him to fall back a sleep. It sounds mean, but I started to ignore him. He would fall back to sleep on his own within 10-20 mins. He also wakes up crying from his naps and in the morning. I think it's becuase he is still tired from the restless sleep he has been getting. I don't know what to do, I'm just hoping this is a phase that will pass. It as been going on for a couple of months. Last night he was up 3 times and each time went back to bed within 10 minutes.

Hopfully it is just a phase, but call your doctor if you are very concerned.

Deb

My 2 1/2 yr old daughter also wakes up crying or "calling out" a few times every night, and has done so for almost a year. At first, we'd go to her, but also found that she was inconsolable and felt helpless. After trying a lot of different approaches, we realized that she was basically waking at regular cycles (the same times every night) and having trouble settling back to sleep. When we stopped running in at every cry, she started learning to settle herself. Don't get me wrong, she STILL wakes up and cries (as if she's having a bad dream), but if we wait and don't go in her room, she almost ALWAYS goes back to sleep on her own. She now cries for less than 10 or 15 seconds when she does wake, and then just falls back to sleep. We do go in if her cry seems different than usual or hysterical, but that's very rare (like when she fell out of her bed one night). We also put white noise sound machines in her bedroom and our 7m baby's room, which has really helped a lot with not waking each other up. I know you don't want to let her cry, but perhaps if you try everything else and if nothing works, try it. A few nights of everyone up would be just a drop in the bucket if the end result is better sleep for all.

Could it be molars and teething? I have twins and one does this whenever she is teething -- and it coincides with lack of eating as much during the day as well. Could also be gas pains ... hence not wanting to be touched. Good luck. Hopefully it's a phase!

UGG! I went throught this too- with my oldest who is now 15!
She would wake up screaming at all hours of the night- screaming and crying! I don't remember how long it lasted, but it did eventually stop. Our doctor said it was night terrors. Nothing can be done. The child isn't really even awake- they just scream and cry- unconsoleably for a LONG TIME! I even tried getting her to go BACK ON A BOTTLE! I thought it might comfort her through it- if she woke up crying to have the bottle to suck on. It didn't help! I also had another younger child- she was only a few months old when it started. And it would wake her up too. My husband was NO help. He couldn't deal with the screaming and crying and he had no baby skills to cope with putting a 3 month old back to sleep- it was all on me baby! So I do know what you're going through- just know that it will end!

Could be growing pains, night terrors, etc. My daugher is 5, I could prob count on my two hands how many nights she actaully slept thru the night without wakin for potty, nightmares, growing pains, etc. It can be exhausting, but somehow we are surviving. Could also be seperation anxiety.

Hi J.. Wow! My husband and I have one daughter and she's 2 1/2 year old and WE ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING! Except for the crying part. She gets up, wines a little and demands milk in a sippy cup. We thought maybe she was just hungry and not eating enough at dinner, but we just can't figure it out. If we find any solution or answer, I'll let you know.

Hi J., are you sure she is awake? Your daughter could be experiencing "night terrors". I went through this with my oldest when she was two. She would "wake up" screaming and crying and push us both away when we ran to her! It was very sad & scary at the same time. Mind you she appeared awake...eyes open and all. My doctor told me to wake her up when I went into her. That was wild too, it took a lot to wake her up when she was in the middle of it. When we woke her up we wouldn't tell her that she was crying or screaming...we didn't even ask if she was having a "bad dream" we just said we came in to tuck her in and say goodnight. Then we'd kiss, hug and tuck her in and usually she would sleep the rest of the night peacefully. This all went away as suddenly as it appeared. My Dr. said it was just something that some kids go through. Hard for us, but they seem to forget all about it. Hang in there! Try to see if there is some kind of patteren, so you can try to figure out if there is a trigger. Talk to your doctor if it keeps happeneing. Good luck & best wishes.

PS...my oldest has never had a problem sleeping since and has never had a nightmare...and she will be 16 on Saturday. :-)

r.

How is her digestion? Does she have a BM every day? If not you should look into further changes in her diet. Have her drink a lot of water every day. She could be suffering from internal pains, and constipation is very dangerous. Talk to her pediatrician and make sure her check up is very through. Has she had any vaccinations lately? It could be a reaction to a vaccine.