Hi there. I have a 4 month old little boy who, for the most part, is a good sleeper. When we put him down for bed, some nights he does pitch a fit from 5-30 minutes. However, during the night he will wake up 1-2x. Most of the time we can give him his pacifer and he will go back to sleep. This usually lasts from 5-20 minutes. My question is when does this stop? When will he stop crying when we put him down and when will he sleep all night without interuption? (I realize he will stir like any normal person, I am referring to waking that requires my husband or myself to get up to tend to him) I love him dearly but I am so tired from not sleeping all night! We have a consistent bedtime schedule...bottle, bath, stories/quiet time then bed. We have done this since he was 6 weeks old. Any advice or helpful/encouraging comments are appreciated!
Ok, I have had quite a few responses basically saying I am starving my child. First of all, I am not starving him. He is a very healthy 18 pound 4 month old. He is NOT fat. All measurements are proportional and equivalant to a 6month old. He has always been bigger...at 2 months, he measured like a 4 month old. He eats about 38 ounces/day and I do give him a "dream feed" around 10:30pm. That being said and per our pediatrician, he does not need to eat in the middle of the night. When he wakes he is not hungry, just fussing for his pacifer or on a few occassions he has had gas. I am only wondering when he will sleep more consistently at night. He does soothe himself back to sleep some of the time, but will wake and require attention at least 1x/night.
Unfortunately most of the comments I am receiving are what I would consider rude. I don't think I will use this site any longer. Thank you to those of you who shared kind words and encouraging advice. To the rest of you, maybe you have forgotten how tough it is to have an infant in the house and sometimes we just need some kindness from others who have been where we are now.
are you also feeding him when he wakes up? He is likely hungry. Some kids don't sleep thru until 1 year- others much more quickly.
J., i hear ya! i have a somewhat similar situation. personally,i have had to either walk my son around in his stroller for awhile, or drive him around in the car;(which takes alot of gas/money, especially me being without any income wright now, is kinda tough,call me crazy!) but thats what works for me. i have been told though that when they get around two, some kids just phase out there naps,(wont take naps anymore.) my son is two and a half, and yes there are days i cant get him to take a nap for nothing!!!!!!!!!!!! i totally understand what your going through! well, god bless ya, and good luck!
I hope you don't stop using this site as it is very helpful. You just have to overlook the rude Mom's. Some just think they are perfect. Most of us really care and want to help. My oldest daughter woke up every two hours to nurse for the first two or three months of her life. It took quite a few months before she quit waking up during the night. A lot of times it was just really for no reason. My youngest slept through the night from the day she was born. All children are different. When I told my Mom I wasn't getting any sleep she told me to nap when my daughter napped. To let some of the housework go for a change and enjoy the baby. I was a super clean freak. Now when I look back I would have done a lot of things different. Time with your child is to be enjoyed because they grow way to fast. I know it's hard not getting sleep but before you know it he will be sleeping through the night and you will forget about the lost sleep. Enjoy him, love him and be happy.
6 months is the bare minimum age that your child should sleep without getting at least one feeding at night, per pediatricians reccomendations. When he wakes up feed him, do not just give the pacifier, he is hungry - he is already sleeping very very well for his age so perhaps with that one feeding he will not wake up again, but if he does its natural and part of parenthood.
Babies and young children wake up at night even when they no longer need meals and do not know how to put themselves back to sleep - even as an adult you wake up several times throughout the night, but you put yourself immediately back to sleep so well that you dont even rememeber half the time. Babies have not learned this skill so they wake up scared even if they arent hungry - they need to be attended to. Do not let older generations tell you that your child should sleep thru the night by 1 month, its simply not true and just letting your child scream and cry to "teach" them something isn't practicle - they are babies they were born to be cuddled and cared for, not taught lessons.
My son is 7.5 months old and he still wakes up for 2 feedings per night, I just nurse him and he is right back to sleep without a fuss - yes I'm tired when I wake up at 5am for work, but my child is healthy and happy and that is ALL that matters.
I would also reconsider allowing him to "pitch a fit" for up to 30 minutes when you want him to go to bed, watch for his tired ques and just rock him to calm him, then you can set him in his crib and pat his back - gradually the time spent getting him to sleep will lessen as he feel more comfortable.
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep as an adult? I know there have been times that I have and I woke up a few hours later with a stuff nose, puffy face, and a headache - why would a baby be any different?
Please get any Dr. Sears book (Fussy Baby Book, Nighttime Parenting). Babies have different sleep cycles than adults. It's natural for a four month old to wake up during the night. They are hard wired to do so. This is so they nurse when the milk is best (mom is relaxed) and to prevent them from SIDS. I've always believed in sleeping with my babies so they are easily settled back down through nursing, patting or nuk. This allows mom and baby to not fully wake up during these transitions. Do the research and you'll see why babies shouldn't be forced to be by themselves in cribs particularly at the ages of 4-6 months when crib death is highest. This may also be related to immunization shots that are given at this age. I don't do any shots for my kids and they are healthier than most. See some articles on my website for more info. www.wheelsoflight.org
He may be going through a growth spurt & may need to be feed. When my daughter went through that, she would wake up at night for several nights in a row. We would feed her, & she would go back to sleep. She is 2 1/2 now & still wakes up in the middle of the night for milk, even if she just had a full meal right before bed. When she does this I know she is going through a growth spurt.
Oh my goodness, at 4 months you still have a newborn that needs MANY things day and night. It is really rare for a young baby, actually younger than 1+ to sleep 8 hours straight without needing or wanting ANYTHING. Your baby is not physically nor mentally mature enough yet to go through the night without nourishment to both his mind and body. His stomach is meant to eat every 2-4 hours and his other physical/emotional needs for comfort will be frequent as well. Crying for his parents is his only way to say that he is hungry, wet or really needs some love and comfort from Mommy and Daddy. Yes, it seems like such a burdon and bother in the middle of the night, and it definately does interupt yor sleep, but this is all part of his development and needs. I would recommend following his lead, listening to his requests and meeting those needs. They will change with the wind as he grows and develops. Growth spurt periods, teething, feeling under the weather, etc will all likely cause even more sleep disruption and waking as well as changes to his days/nights etc.
I would definately read Dr Sears books 'Night Time Parenting', 'The Baby Book' and 'Attachment Parenting'. Also Jay Gordon's 'Good Nights'. All of these have good pointers on how to provide for the needs of the baby while encoraging the best sleep for everyone in the household. I'm sure there will be some helpful pointers. I would steer clear of anything referenced as 'baby training' or 'sleep training' as these typically advise you to force your newborn into YOUR schedule as opposed to what needs come naturally for the baby, which is a little mixed up!
Best wishes and try not to think of your baby's night wakings as such a burdon...there are so many other things that could be worse! Before long you will no longer be needed at night and you will wish you were....
Babies are supposed to wake and nurse or feed every 2-4 hours. Pick up a Dr. Sears book and read up on this natural phenomenon. At four months old, baby is too young to not be feeding frequently. Listen to your baby, he is trying to tell you something. His cries are his only way to let you know he needs.
You have to be patient J., he's only four months old, some babies sleep through the night early some not until almost a year. Do you breast feed? Is he a light sleeper? When you put him down is he already asleep? Your schedule is not his schedule. You can't expect to go to bed if he not already asleep just because you have a schedule. Try putting him to sleep first if this is not what you are doing.
Consider yourself lucky tohave a husbandthat helps. I did this for a whole year all alone. Best thing I ever did was start a bedtime routine and stick to it. Then when it's time for bed she is ready to go to bed with verylitte fighting. My daughter started sleeping all night at 12 mos. As hard as it is to do, when he wakes just go tell him you are right there and let him cry it out . But at 4 months maybe he's too young and needs to eat . Ask your ped about feeding habits at 4 mos
I know with my oldest that the sleep deprivation was the hardest thing to deal with, but it gets better! They get older and you get a whole new definition of a good night's sleep :-)
It sounds like you are doing great with the bedtime routine and he's actually sleeping really well. My son is a big boy and fabulous sleeper, but at four months he would still wake up: always around 4:00am for a feeding, and occasionally at 1:00am. We gave him his last feeding and put him to bed around 7:30pm. Gradually, between four and eight months, the 1:00am was gone and the 4am got pushed back later and later until he'd just wake up at 6am for the day.
If you think about it, their little bellies don't care if it's dark, and ten hours is a long time for them not to eat! I've had a lot of luck letting my kids just outgrow things. I encourage the things I want--like when he stopped really eating at the 1:00am, I'd send my husband in to pat him if he woke up. He'd realize that dad had no milk and go back to sleep. After a few times, no more 1:00 wake up.
Why do you think he cries when you put him down? Is he maybe overtired? Can you move his bedtime earlier? I know it sounds crazy, but that can often make the whole night's sleep better. Is he hungry? At four months, they only cry if they need something.
My oldest, my daughter, has always had trouble letting go of the day. Even with the routine, we had to teach her to relax. I'd turn out the light and pat her a bit, then just stand by the crib, then slowly back out of the room as she relaxed. I wouldn't start that unless you really want to do it, but it was better for me than letting her cry, since she would get SO worked up.
Really, though, it's up to you all. Listen to your instincts!
Hello, I completely understand your frustration.Just so you know the 1st 4-5 mths feel like they'll never pass. But afterwards you will get used to having this baby around!
My son is 11mths and we still struggle with him! I must say though its because we have spoiled him. And if there is a 2nd time around I know I will be more strong willed by avoiding giving too much attention during my interupted sleep.
Seems like you are doing very well at keeping a routine. You must try very hard for him not to take any naps after 5 pm, or continue a current nap past 5pm. This will help him become more tired for a long night sleep. And my 2nd advice will be to make sure to make his last feeding heavy. I would add a teaspoon of rice cereal per ounce of milk and this would keep him from waking up hungry in the middle of the night. Well, hope this helps!!
As the mother of a 5 year old I can honestly say there are three factors that come in to play:
1. Your child as an individual
2. Your consistency in parenting
3. How important this issue is to you
My daughter still wakes in the night - she has NEVER been a good sleeper. We are just now beginning to have her sleep in her own bed. But after just three nights of consistency, she is doing very well. She is our only child and we certainly could have been more diligent about this effort but chose to have her with us instead.
Your son may still be hungry in the middle of the nigh - and depending on his weight, he may need an additional feeding. Check with your doctor on that. Or he may just need some reassuring. Only you can choose what is best for your son. I would encourage you to stay true to your parenting instincts.
Hello J. and welcome to the site,
My son is now going to be 3 in aug, but when he was 4 months old (and healthy like your son is) he was up every 2-4hours. Some nights we slept for 6hrs, some night only 2 at a time. Some of those times I could tell he was hungry, other times I think he just needed to know we were still there. He didnt sleep all the way threw the night until he was 1 1/2 and about 6 months ago stoped taking naps. He still wakes up sometimes to check if we are still there (his bed is in our room). I am sorry you are going threw such a difficult time, and I do remember how many hours I spent walking my house and taking him for rides in the car. Also sometimes between 4-6 months some babys go threw stages of colic and gas. There was one week with my son that I got maybe 4 hours of sleep a night because of his ups and downs. It will get better. I counted in my son's first year I got 3 nights of whole sleep only because once my husband was able to get up with him, and the other two was when he slept in.
Just some encouragement that you are doing a great job and made a lot of progress in such a short time. Even though I too use a consistent bedtime routine, I have a sixteen month old who still will not consistently sleep through the night. 4 months may seem like a long time when you are sleep deprived, but he is still so very young. I think it may be hard for them to go all night because they become hungry...and lonely. Based on what I've heard, only a few babies will sleep through the night before 6 months. Some younger babies will sleep all night and some babies (like mine) will not sleep all night until they are much older. Every baby is different. I know that you are tired but try and enjoy every second of this age and hug him alot. It really is sad how fast the time goes. He will be an active toddler before you know it.
Get ready for a long road ahead. My son would sleep through the night from 6 weeks until about 6 months. Then he started waking up through the night. He is now 3 1/2 and has just started sleeping through the night again. Trust me, I tried everything. Some children are different but this is a hard time in their lives to start to be more independent and learn that they don't need us for EVERYTHING. But, your little one is still very young and is still needing your comfort. Just be patient and you will get used to it. Welcome to Mommyhood.
Hey there, you have to remember he is only 4 months old. I'm sure he gets hungary in the middle of the night and that is why he is waking up. I have 3 kids and none of them slept through the night until they were past 8 months. Also, my almost 2 year old still wakes up in the night. But, every kid is different, I remember when my friends kids would sleep through the night way before mine every did. Each child is different, and I know it's not easy to have to wake up in the middle of the night. But, that is part of mommyhood:) It will get better, hang in there!
Truly, I don't think anyone meant to be rude. We used a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and our son seemed to be by the book in terms of how often he woke up, etc. At 4 months, he typically went to sleep around 6, was up at 2, and again around 6. He settled into a more regular pattern around 8 months, where he would sleep through until morning. He was large for his age, as well (similar to your son) but he was truly hungry when he was up at night. Your son may not be hungry, but I think biologically, their brains also need to mature for them to start to sleep longer. It's hard, we've all been there, but it will get better soon.
I noticed that you said you feed him at 10:30 PM... I don't know if you are waking him for that feed, but if you are, that may be affecting his sleep as well. The book I mentioned basically says not to wake a sleeping baby if you can avoid it, since it disrupts their sleep patterns. Just something else to consider.
Great job with the routine. My best advise to you is at this age babies still need to eat every 3-4 hours. He is waking up because he is hungry. The pacifier will satisfy his need to suckle, and he will fall back asleep. Try feeding him. Unfortunately you are not going to get sleep for a while at least. My kids did not sleep through the night until 9 mos. Good luck.
It does go away, but usually not at 4 months. Babies' stomachs are small and their metabolism makes them need to eat every 4-6 hours usually. Biologically they aren't meant to sleep 8 hours straight like older kids do.
You can expect to be getting up once/twice a night for the better part of the first year, unless you are very lucky. At least that's my experience... I think that is why we all get the "mommy brain"-- you know, when you can't remember something you heard, oh, 3 seconds ago.
If you can nurse him in bed till he goes back to sleep, you will be able to still rest even while he's awake. That's how I got through it. Good luck!
Oh my gosh, so young! You need to feed him. Don't think feeding him is going to make him wake up more, that is crazy. I have a girl who will be 10 months old on the 28th. I was up with her twice last night, had to feed her once. She wakes because she needs food or having tummy problems. When she doesn't need anything, she sleeps from 7:30-7:30, so I know she will do it if she can. She slept 10-12 hours starting at 2 months old, but only for short spans of time. For the most part, she still wakes. I'm very tired and my hubby doesn't do night time at all, so I understand where you are coming from. My son slept great starting at 5.5 months old and stopped feeding at night around 7 months. Every child is different. It seems like a long time now, but as I know with my son, they get big fast! Don't wish your baby away!
wow, I just read all the responses and don't see a rude one in the bunch! If you read them, you will see we currently HAVE infants. We are just trying to warn you not to expect uninterupted sleep any time soon. Sorry if you didn't get the "soon" answer you were hoping for.
