Hi,
I wanted to know what sport/activity do mom's recommend for a 10 year old who is having a hard time communicating with peers. He just doesn't know what to say or how to interact. What sport/activity would you say helped your child build communication skills with kids his age. There are no other issues, but he just doesn't know what to say. We have done role playing at home, but that doesn't help. I can tell he really wants to be a part of the group but feels socially awkward because he does not know what to say. I want to help him.
Thanks for the responses. I am not the one unhappy with it and always thought he is the quiet one, and thought nothing of it. Now I see that he wants to talk to his peers but doesn't know how to. He will ask me, what should I say or who do I keep talking to them.
Would he be open to taking a drama/theatre class. I really believe that helped shape my girls into the outgoing, friendly kids they are today.
I'm with J.C. on this drama/theatre class.There are lots of opportunities to do things besides acting. Such as painting sets, building things, etc.
Is he the one who is unhappy about it or you? Some children are perfectly fine with being quiet. I have one son who was never big at communicating, isn't to this day but he is a great artist, very interested in life and in love with his wife. You can begin to notice your son's skills and hone in on those. Does he run around outside with a ball a lot? then of course sports. Does he like animals? Does he roller blade, etc. Eventually he will do the picking of what he wants to do and it often doesn't mean much talk at all. Good luck!
Theater or drama class (depending how they word it). Even if he doesn't think he's interested, give it a try. It's often the perfect outlet for shy or "different" kids. I taught theater, and I've seen it transform kids.
My socially awkawrda child has become a much better person after taking Karate. It has helped him in every aspect of his life
Drama/Theater. Really whatever HE likes to do. People have less trouble talking to others when they are comfortable, so finding an activity that he already enjoys - a true interest of his, will enable him to talk easily about what he likes to others who like it too.
Sports is not going to do it. He'll just feel more socially awkward.
HuggyMama has a good point - who is really more concerned about this? Some kids are just not as social, quiet, etc.
I think the activity really depends on his interests and its okay for him not know what 'thing' will captive him. So trial and error. Also, the location (the teacher/coach and other kids) could make a big difference. For example one troop of boy scouts (insert any group/club/sport) may click with your son, yet a different troop could make him feel like more of an outsider.
Regular practice will help. Also some people are better 'one on one' vs a big group and that is okay too. Good for your son for reaching out and expressing himself to you. I think that is great.
He wants to be part of a group, but maybe he's just a one on one kind of guy. My brother was like this as a kid. How about hosting a once a week one on one playdate? He can choose a kid he likes to come over once a week. One kid at a time is best bc then the two other kids won't click and make him feel like a third wheel. If he and one other kid can work on a plan/project together, explore the neighborhood together, jump on the trampoline or have a nerf gun war or whatever thing they like to do. For example my son and a boy who came over (same age as your son) decided to make their own movie. They took turns filming themselves with a digital camera and then put the video into some program where they could edit it (the other boy had taken a class where he learned how to edit). It really brought them closer together and after that they became more friendly at school.
Is it a confidence issue? If so, put him in a team sport that he excels in. If not, simply setting up social settings with NICE kids, he likes will help him a lot. Just make sure they're doing things he feels comfortable doing and is good at. When he is unsure of his abilities, he's more likely to feel awkward. Good luck!
Getting him involved in anything would give him a common ground topic with the other kids in the sport or activity. In volleyball, players are required to call out when they plan to get the ball. I believe there's calling out in basketball and soccer as well. It may not build all communication skills but it's a way to build a little confidence with speaking out. I'd talk to the social worker at his school; they often have social skills groups with a small group of kids. Even if they can't add him, the social worker should have some good suggestions for you.
My son is 11 and has always been a friendly out going friends w everyone guy.. this last year he has changed alot...all I hear is that all the other kids are talking about video games....I have never allowed him to hold pretend guns to people's heads or play video games that are not rated for his age....so he had a big disconnect from other kids...he is in scouts...same deal..the video games were prevalent.......we have him in our local sports programs like golf and floor hockey but none of those activities went beyond the time they spent in that activity...no real friendships just acquaintances. ...so I don't have a real solution but we are also in your shoes and just keep hoping a kid will come along with shared interest s.
