Son Crying at Daycare - Just Wants Me. What to Do Moms??

Just say sweetie i love you so much!, but M. needs to do work just like you want to play! ill be back soon and we will do something fun!

It's an adjustment that will take awhile, but he'll be fine.
My son used to cry for 10 min when I left, then he'd be happily playing with the other kids.
The daycare we went to had a window where parents could peek in without the kids seeing them.
You'd be surprised how often the performance concludes quickly once the parental audience departs.
It's like they feel they have to show loyalty to you even though they are absolutely fine and it makes you worry about them ALL DAY LONG.
And then comes the next stage - when they cry when you leave in the morning, and cry again when you pick them up because they want to stay and play longer. (sigh)
We just get it coming and going no matter what we do!

As long as you are comfortable with his teachers - and presumably you are happy with them because you just chose the day care - you'll just need to be patient. Make sure that you don't express anxiety yourself when you drop him off - that is very important, as he takes his cues from you.

Establish a positive routine at dropoff and pick-up, and one which is not too drawn out. My kids have been in part-time day care since they were 3 months old, but some principles are the same. For each child, I get them situated (put away lunch, extra clothes etc., and engage them in an activity), give them a hug and kiss, tell them I love them and who will be picking them up at the end of the day - papa or mom. The routine differs based on the age and the class they are in, but it is consistent and positive. Just find what is natural and comfortable for you both.

When we first started with each child in day care, the day care recommended starting out with one or two shorter days - perhaps that would help him get accustomed to the place - I believe it eased our adjustment. I did nurse them until about one year, and would go at my lunchtime to nurse in person, but I agree, at about a year or so, it probably is more disruptive for you to visit during the day than not.

Best of luck - it is often difficult to see your children work through change and challenges.

This is totally normal for his age. He would be going through this anyway, even if you left the room at home for a few minutes. It's just part of his becoming aware of object permanence.

The hardest situation for a child is where the parent hangs on and doesn't just tell them they love them and hand them over and leave. It prolongs the agony of them thinking you'll stay if they cry hard enough. It is hard for you but he will get used to it much much much sooner if you just leave. If you are confident in his teachers and the support system in place there then he is safe.

I can honestly say 99% of the kids in my 13 years of child care stopped crying before the parents got to the car. But I did have 1 child, a 2 1/2 year old that actually did cry for about 2 weeks, non stop, all day. Her mom knew that things would settle down. One day the little girl just cried her eyes out until mom went out the door of the classroom and then turned around and picked up a toy and went to play. She did not cry again.

Your baby is safe, he is loved and taken care of very well, it will get better. Just hand him over after a quick snuggle and leave. He will get the idea after a few days, maybe a week. At his age it may be a bit longer but I doubt it.

All I had to read was your first senctence ... this will pass it takes a few weeks ... when my son started one of the ladies took him from my arms and walked him around the center to see the other kids playing and doing such. This seemed to calm him a great deal, they did need to have another person in the 1yr old room in the morning so she could take him around but it was the smoothest transition ... she said she has done the same with many babies for sad/upset mornings. During the day time when he was upset one of the gals had slings/wraps that she brought in and she just wore him for a great deal of the day (he was used to that from M.) ... I would talk to the ladies, let them know what you do at home and come up with answers together.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but it's only been 1 day. Our little guy started daycare at 18 months, and fortunately, never shed a tear. But when he turned 2, he started crying for a few days. I found that having the teacher distract him with a toy or activity worked best and I would quietly slip out.
I know all kids are different, but I am sure that your little one will be just fine in a few days. Hang in there!

ohh I am so sorry for you to have to go through this! It is hard enough to work without knowing you baby is miserable without you. I have to admit I agree that it may be harder if you pop in and out a few times throughout the day. Although he may seem relieved, he will have to 'let you go' multiple times and that will be hard. Plus he won't have any way of knowing when you are coming back so he may just wait for you, expecting you at any moment.

My daughter was a little older when we went through this, but we loved the books Llama Llama Misses Mama and I have heard The Kissing Hand is a good one too. Also Adam's Daycare. We repeated this line from Llama over and over: Remember when the day is through, Mama will come back for you!!!! every time we dropped her off and when we picked her up we said it again.

Also, make sure you are watching what your reaction is to the situation. If you are crying and look upset, he will be more upset. If you act like it isn't that big of a deal, maybe so will he.

Hang in there. It gets better. Hopefully they will have a routine and schedule there, that helps.

PS If they feed him breakfast, make sure he is hungry. Hunger can be a great distraction to the fact that you are leaving and he is 'supposed' to cry.

I think this is the hardest thing that working parents face. I do think that the teacher is right. Going in and out all day will make it really hard for both of you guy. Your heart breaks everytime you leave and so does his. He will adjust. They go through this type of thing every so often. My son was good for a while and then he would just hang on M. and cry. Maybe what would be good is if you left him something to remember you by and help him realize that you are coming back. I know with my son it made a huge difference when I started telling him that I will be over to get him as soon as I got off work. I realize one is a little young to really understand this concept but maybe you can give him something that has your scent or reminds him of you. It's hard but it will work out. I used to do private day care and one little boy brought his mom's nightgown.

My son started at a daycare center around 1y. My mom watched him prior to that.

One thing that might help is if you can transition him to take your milk from a sippy cup. Then you can send in cups instead of stopping by at noon. Stopping by and then leaving again will just create extra stress on both of you.

He also had a food that he would never turn down. We left that in his locker so that if he wouldn't eat the center's food, he would have SOMETHING to eat.

Another thing that helped us was that I would drop him off 15-20 mins before I HAD to be on the road. This gave him time to get adjusted, wake up, etc. If I tried to leave before that he would have a meltdown. The 'ready to go' became a game that he and the other kids would play. I let him know that it was getting to be time. He'd say okay. I'd stand by the door and they'd all do the shuttle countdown! Sometimes it only took a few minutes and then I felt bad that it was so quick!! :-)

Its hard at first, but he will adjust. My daughter has been at an in-home center since 6w. She CRIES when she CAN'T go because its the weekend.

So if after 2m he still has a hard time, you might want to look into licensed in-home centers where just being in a home rather than a big room would be more comfortable for him.

It seems that before he was able to have you leave because he was in familiar surroundings with the nanny. Now, you have put him in new surroundings AND with new people. It is too much for him to handle right now. Yes, I would take a day off (more if you can) and spend it with him at the daycare center so that he gets comfortable with it and is able to relax. I think we as adults think it is so fine to just leave kids somewhere and not have them react. Yes, we have checked it out and our comfortable with it, but your son does not know that. If you think about it, it is a scary situation for him. How does he know that it is ok unless you show him?

I worked day care for 6 years in the 1 year old room for 2 of them. The ONLY child that never cried about M. leaving actually stayed with her kid the WHOLE time for the 1st 3 weeks then started to leave him but only for 1 hour or 2 after playing with him and the other kids for 1 hour or so and then coming back and playing more. She ALWAYS said "goodbye" and actually distracted him from playing to say it. Hers was the only child that waved bye bye and waved to her when she returned.

I still keep tabs on those families and the kids all are just fine. They are the 14-15 now and well that age has it own problems... nothing abnormal though... just angst.

My daughter was 14 months when she started PT daycare. She cried all day everyday. She was dropped off at 9:00 and picked up at 12:00 Tuesday - Friday. I thought the tough adjustment was because she was only PT. I felt she just knew that if she cried all morning by noon she would be picked up. After about 7 weeks of this I went in for a meeting. My daughter saw M. with her care givers and from that day forward never cried. I really thought I was going to have to stop working. I was still breast feeding her too. FYI... My husband dropped her off and picked her up since the center was next to his office.
Hang in there. It is a hard adjustment!