Son Has Bad Habit of Tearing His Nails

Maybe invest in a couple boxes of bandaids. Put one over each finger until you think he can not do it. Maybe after you take them off, leave one on his favorite picked finger as a reminder. Thats the only thing i can think of right now!

Cheaper than the band-aids, try a roll of medical tape. We tried the bandaids, they fall off too easily, especially with a very active boy. We are going through this right now with our 4 yr old and am trying to get him to stop before school starts in the fall. He is bites and a picks! I tried the nasty biter stuff, which is good initially, but wash your hands and it is gone. So my husband picked up the white tape...day one was annoying and he pulled it off, day two after another explanation of why we were doing it, was better. Just be sure not to wrap too tightly, and then do the mini manicure after, clip all loose ends that get soft from the tape. I left the tape off the next day and rewarded him with his favorite stickers everytime I saw him with out them in his mouth. at the end of the week he will get a prize...I know it is a bribe, but you do what you gotta do.
K.

the band aid idea sounds like a good one, and maybe add some clear nail strengthening polish to his nails to make them harder to pick at.

Hi E.,
There is a new classification in the psychology books for habits like your son's. The classification is called Body Focused Repetitive Behavior or BFRB. These include the following behaviors: nail bitting, skin picking, hair pulling (called Trichotrillomania) and cheek bitting. Currently there is no "cure" for these behaviors. Psychologists couple anxiety medication with behavior therapy to ease the problem. I personally have the skin picking behavior and it runs in my family. Many of the BFRBs do run in families. There is limited research on this but you can search the internet for Trichotrillomania and learn quite a bit. Behavior therapists currently are NOT trying to STOP the impulse because it's virtually impossible (at least with current medications) but rather to teach the person to refocus the impulse towards something that will not hurt their body or self image such as fidgeting with a bracelet, playing with a ball.

Finally, remain super calm with your son. He is, as you say, truly sorry he does the behavior but he simply can't stop and won't probably even if you put bitter apple on his fingers. Research, go to Trich conventions (there's many of those and hardly nothing on fingernail bitting), and learn. The more you know, the better you can help him redirect his attention and his impulses. God bless you.
T.

I had a similar problem with my daughter when she started daycare at three. Following the advice of her pediatrician, I started praising her when she wasn't biting at her nails instead of correcting her when I caught her in the act. I am not sure if she just got used to daycare or that that method worked, but it is worth a shot. (Kids do crazy things to get attention -- even bad attention -- and not even realize they are doing it.) I still notice when she is nervous that she will bite her nails a little, but when the anxiety goes away, the nail-biting disappears.
I worry about this becoming a habit for my daughter because my mother is a very bad nail biter, sometimes biting them to the quick, when she is extremely stressed out.

As a nail tech, if it were my boy, I'd give him a little mini manicure with little light filing and perhaps buffing to make them shiney. Explain again dangers of bacteria creeping into the torn areas and causing an infection! U might use a little clear polish for fun. Nail care is a part of hygeine just like brushing your teeth. Keep them short so he has no free edge to pick at.

Good luck!
P. hack

I would suggest -- during times you know he's more prone to do it, like when you are reading at night -- have something in his hands. I had this problem growing up and found that having something else for my hands to do during times I'm nervous or concentrating helped a lot (I also started painting my nails regularly, which helped too, but I understand that's not the best option for your son...)

Just something like a book to look at or a favorite toy in his hands at key times might help a lot. Good luck!

I agree that keeping them clipped and filed would really help. It's those ragged edges that tempt him to pick at them. I had the same kind of habit as a child, and the only thing that helped me stop was to make a habit out of grooming my nails instead. I found that if I made them look nice, it was easier to resist messing them up. He might need some moisturizer for his cuticles too. I always picked at my cuticles because they were dry. Maybe you could make a little routine of checking and filing his nails at bath time and giving rewards for days when he keeps them looking nice. Eventually, he will forget his bad habit, but it may take some time. Hope this helps :o)

Did you mention this to your pediatrician? Yes, these can be habits and that alone is a real pain, but there could be some underlying problem. something that he has no control over. I have read a great deal about allergies, because my first son was allergic to almost everything. Children with allergies deal with a lot of stresses that aren't always noticible on the outside. Sometimes hives are interior and the child is itching it by hair pulling, nail abuses and scratching areas of the body. I would think about allergy testing to make sure that isnt the problem. Nail buffing is great too because it strengthen the nail and the child can get relief during this bonding time. Good luck but check with your doctor.

I've been thru something similar. What worked the best for me is I started clipping the fingernails and toenails to the healthiest lowest level possible, then filing them even. (If you clip them too low it can cause cracking or bleeding, not to mention easily stumping the toe). Then I applied the No Bite(bitter tasting polish) which has a little shine to it which does not come off easily. If you check his hands a couple times a day and you see the poish cracking, you'll know he's been picking again. Then, you can explain to him the daingers of picking his nails. Hope this helps. Good bless you.

Ok. My husband is thirty years old and still does this. He is scared of fingernail clippers!! Sometimes his toenails get out of hand and I have to cut them for him. I have tried everything with him and he is THIRTY!!!!! I am not sure what to do but do something or he will drive his wife crazy someday. LOL!!!

Ok - I started this habit myself when I was about five (I'm 36 now). I did it mostly when I was worried about something or if boredom had gotten out of hand. It's like a low-level anxiety that you can't really put your finger on so you don't know how to talk about it sort of thing.
If I catch myself starting up I'm able to retrain myself for a period to do something else when I'm anxious like thumb the pages of a paperback book (kind of looks like I'm skimming to find a lost page to other people), or rub the edge/hem of a shirt I'm wearing, or in school I would twirl my pencil in my fingers (had to be careful with that one b/c if I dropped it too many times I didn't want to explain to the teacher). The point is to find something or maybe a few things that he can do without others really noticing/being grossed out by to relieve the anxiety. Similar concept to a child that hits/bites when angry - they still need an outlet to get rid of the negative feelings but one that is either productive or at least not counterproductive. I will still lapse into this (every 3-4 months) and be totally unaware I'm doing it until hubby says something or I've no nails on fingers or toes. I cannot explain it but once they are all gone - I always feel better. Don't worry too much about him damaging the nails - the quick, etc. are very resilient. Times I manage to go long enough to grow them out they are in perfect shape. Think of when people have damaged their nails badly enough that they've lost the nail - they almost always grow back normally and he isn't likely to inflict enough pain on himself to cause enough for them to have worse than that. Try to be patient with him - if he can retrain himself it will show remarkable self-discipline and if he is doing it to relive anxiety it's a step toward recognizing those feelings and maybe where they come from.