Son Hates Sunday School

I always felt that if they were only going grudgingly, they weren't getting what they needed from it and didn't force the issue.

Find out WHY he hates it. My husband didn't have this issue with Sunday school, but he had a teacher that was a total tyrant and very manipulative. She was downright cruel to the kids.

If he has a VALID reason, besides boring, then look into alternatives. If he's just complaining cause it's boring, I have no idea :)

I would never force a child to go to Sunday school. Can you volunteer in the classroom and find out why he doesn't like it? Are you willing to spend time in the classroom regularly to help out? Are you volunteering in any capacity, such as choosing curriculum or purchasing supplies?
I ran a religious education program at our UU church for 3 years. There is a lot of planning and prepping that goes into providing this service to a congregation. Get to know the program director, find out where and how you can become involved, and I bet that will help your son's attitude.

My kids always liked to bring friends to Sunday school. None of their school friends went to our church so it takes a while to get comfortable with the kids in your Sunday school class since you only see them once a week.

Every Sunday, calmly, get ready for church. It becomes a routine just like eating breakfast, taking a bath, and going to regular school. If you continue to argue with him on it he will continue to think it's something to argue about. Dont feed the wolf.

I absolutely hated Sunday School. Not because of what was being taught, not because I was in a different "classroom", but because I had no friends. I was being bullied.
People think that just because they are in a church that bullies don't exist, but I am here to tell you that they do....and they are worse. They sit there, praise God, raise their hands to heaven, and then they backstab you and talk about you behind your back.
I know your son is young, but I will tell you...my horrible Sunday school experience, from 11-18 has made me very bitter about church in general. I wont go. That doesn't mean that I don't believe in God, I do, but I don't believe in church.
If your son is crying then I am inclined to believe that something else is going on.
L.

Is it a "boring classroom environment" as you describe it?

Do you ever sit in on it or better yet, observe from where he can't see you observing? What goes on ? Do the kids run riot and have no supervision? Or are they expected to sit the entire time and do worksheets or listen to endless stories? Find out the problem.

Then help fix it. There are too many good, active, fun curricula out there -- there is no reaso for kids to sit around like they're iin school, OR run around like maniacs. Volunteer. If the same person or people have done it forever and ever, they likely are burned out and bored themselves and see it as merely older-kid nursery time. Talk to the pastor. If you don't want to teach it weekly, you need to get other parents involved (moms AND dads) and set up a schedule so there is a rotation of teachers and a good curriculum that has both Bible learning that is age-appropriate, fun and includes songs and crafts and moving around. Consider adding 15 minutes of playground or outside time into the class time if it's long enough.

This can be fixed only if those of you with issues get involved. Talk to other parents. Talk to the teachers. Be positive and constructive, not critical and down on the current teachers, who may be muddling through and have kids who are a real handful. Get online to Christian kids' curriculum sites and go to good Christian bookstores to get materials that multiple parents can use. (But with the approval of whoever oversees curriculum and classes in the church so the materials are appropriate and fit your church's beliefs.)

Make it work. If you put it off and say "no Sunday school for a few years" he will lose all interest and it will be harder, not easier, to get him inside a church at all in a few years' time. Make it come alive, and take responsibility for helping that happen for him AND other kids. You can do it and he will benefit for the rest of his life.

I would try to find a family friendly alternative, such as him sitting quietly with you during the services you attend, and working from a Christian-based puzzle book.

The reason I suggest this is from my own experience: I hated Sunday School. Depending on the teacher, it can be a fun or terrible experience. I've worked (as an assistant) at Sunday School programs which were very inappropriate developmentally and were pretty hardcore on the verse memorization and discipline. They expected all the kids to sit quietly and color pictures, then gave them tickets to trade in for prizes so they would 'behave". Kids at this age need a good balance of gross motor activities and group games, they need to have a sense of connection with the other kids, which means that there needs to be some opportunities to play together.

My suggestion would be to peek in at various times for the next couple weeks. Ask him specifically: "What is hard for you about Sunday School?" "What is it that you don't like?" (instead of "why don't you like" questions, which are much more difficult for kids to answer.) It may be that the person leading the group is really just NOT good with kids. It may be that there's pressure regarding verse memorization. (One Sunday School teacher told my sister that kids who didn't learn their verses 'didn't have Gods word written in their hearts' and might go to hell-- never mind that we only went to that church every other week while visiting Dad.)

And it may be that with school starting, your child feels that their life is already 'too much'. Do stop and consider how much 'down time' your son has.

I know that you want him to stick it out. However, if he's upset and miserable, do you think any positive message is going to get in there? He might be better off sitting quietly with you for the service with his own lessons.

AND-- he might get bored with *that* and decide that Sunday school isn't so bad after all. :)

Good luck! Tough choices! However, whenever I have seen that my son wasn't ready for something, I just waited a while. Usually, he warms up to things in his own time-- and then, when it feels like it's his idea, it works wonderfully.

I would offer to let him bring a friend with him each week. My boys both bring a friend to church with them every Sunday. They didn't dislike Sunday school, but having a friend makes it more fun, and it actually makes it easier to break the ice and get to know the other kids in the class.

Why does he hate it? Has he told you? How about sitting in on a class and seeing how they run the class? I'd want to see if there is something going on that made him feel this way.

Does he argue about going to school every morning too?

If I were you, I would give him a hard consequence for all his catterwalling. For example, if he plays any electronics, withhold them for the entire day if he starts up before church. That way, he pays a price for bellyaching.

Don't postpone Sunday School til he's older. It won't help. What you'll have problems with is him refusing to go and you too having fights galore about it.

Dawn

I would say that Sunday School is part of being a kid. It is just something that you do. If he were complaining about going to school would you give him the option of not going?

My son didn't complain this morning, but most Sunday mornings he complains about the clothes I lay out for him. I told him that this is what we where to church and PSR (Sunday School). I make him wear dress pants, a nice shirt and nice shoes - no jeans and no tennis shoes. The rest of the week, he can choose. So far I haven't gotten burned on that, as he prefers to where jeans and t-shirts.

I just repeat what my parents told me. We go to school on school days, and we go to church and PSR on Sundays. We might not always want to go, but this is what we do.

Good for you Mama for attending to your Son's spiritual development. Have you found a church home? I looked and looked until I found one that was a good fit for my family. My hubby and I have young kids so we searched until we found one with an excellent kids program. That seemed like a priority for us given the ages of our kids. I remember as a kid dreading church and Sunday school and I was determined to find something my kids could enjoy. Thankfully the adult part of the church is awesome too. Sending prayers your way!

Just curious... do you also go to a Sunday School class, or do you drop him off and go elsewhere? Do you both attend church together?

If you also attend Sunday School, then he will see it as more important.

I agree with the suggestion that he bring a friend to Sunday School, also.....

We attended a church with some friends a few times and my son hated Sunday school too. The kids all acted like animals, climbing on the tables and throwing things at each other. They were out of control. He didn't like it at all. After that, whenever we visited a church with friends, he sat with me.
He was very well behaved and it just worked out better that way.

At 6, your son is old enough to sit still and quietly through the adult services as a trade off. Give it a try.

Best wishes.

I help teach our sunday school, and it is not good when a child doesn't want to be there. They can get a lot out of being at church with their family, but they get nothing out of being in Sunday school when they don't want to be, and it's disruptive to the teachers and other kids. But almost always, there's a reason they don't want to be there and if you work with the teachers, you'll be able to get to the bottom of it and address it. We didn't do Sunday school until the kids were 7 and 9 -- now they look forward to going and separate from us easily. I don't see the need to rush.

My initial thought is that you just put up with his complaining, and make him go.

HOWEVER -- How early is Sunday school? Regular school begins way too early -- 8:00 is inhumane, for both adults and kids, and most kids go through life tired. Studies have shown that when school start times are changed to 9:00, kids do much better.

So, with that being said -- does he have to get up really early to go to Sunday school? If so, you might want to rethink it. The kid should have a couple of days to sleep in and relax and catch up on his sleep.

But if Sunday school is say, 10:00 or later, then it's probably okay to make him go.

Have you asked him why he hates it so much? Maybe you should start there.

Two of my daughters love Sunday school aka Catholic CCD. My middle daughter has a lot of trouble this year in particular (although CCD only just started last weekend) and it's mostly about her difficulty with transitions.

Morning time transitions, especially when it's chilly outside and she has to be awakened, are very difficult for her. Once she's in the car she's fine, and even better at the school and sees her friends she's perfectly cheerful. She sits down and prays willingly and pays attention in class. She participates. She's a model student. We're working in the transitions with her, and so I'm doing a lot of body brushing and soothing (she's autistic).

The fact is that she's like this about school in general. If I give in once or twice unless she's sick, she'll use it for ANYTHING she doesn't want to do. I'm teaching her to be self-sufficient, self-advocating, but I'm also teaching her to be a productive member of society. I'm trying to instill our family's values into her. I'm trying to instill self-discipline and give her opportunities to practice appropriate behavior and self-control. If I postponed any of these things, I would also be postponing her development of those skills as well as her social development.

The same goes for my typical daughters if they behaved this way. I'm assuming that your son doesn't have any learning delays or neurological disorders, so my recommendation is to talk to him and explain to him how important it is. Explain to him what your expectations are of his behavior, and that behaving the way he is will not excuse him from attending these important classes.

Truly, been there! When my youngest was 4 and had been in church and Sunday School all his life suddenly, literally threw on his breaks going down the hall to Sunday School, looked up and ask me, Why do we go to church anyway? He is 17 now and plays keyboard in the church band. My oldest led the singing at the church he just joined in his Senior year of college.
As my pastor would say, they had a drug problem, they were drugged to church! Ha! I have to ask, what do you hope for your kids to get out of Sunday School? If you are aiming an arrow you need to know what you are aiming at. Do you want him to know God or be a moral person or keep out of the worst trouble in his High School years? Do you want him to have long term good friendships with people who enjoy serving God and helping hurting people? Do you want him to understand what faithfulness is? If so take him to Sunday School! This is a phase. He is watching you to see what is important to you. Do you go to Sunday School yourself? I encourage you to set in on his Sunday School class one time. Meet his teachers and the kids. My H and I teach Sunday School for 1&2 graders. I can tell you they get over it. Of course we are counciously addapting our SS for our kids. We have the begining where we let the kids play and bond over a game of ping pong or air hockey or Legos. We join in too, I can't tell you the number of kids I have taught to play ping pong! Then the Bible Story on felt board and questions about it in a competitive game of tic tac toe. Not all Sunday Schools are taught by people who care but if you sit in on it and like the class then make him go. Not fun, but he will get used to it.
If you don't arm him for a world that not only does not respect God but will gladly lead him against God, then he will have little chance of being the Christian you desire to have him be. May God Guide you!

I had two HORRIBLE, hateful, miserable Sunday School teachers at two different times when I was young. My beautiful mother allowed me to stop going and put me out of my misery.

Your son may hate it for a bigger reason than boredom. It's okay to let him stay home and try again another time.

Good luck!

Some churches, depending on the church and denomination, have only a child care type Sunday school, some actually teach a lesson and let the kids make something to take home. Check out how this SS works and if they are teaching a story from the Bible and letting the kids make something and actually learn then I would continue to send him in and he'll adjust. You don't let kids that age decide if they want to go to public school. I would be sure this church is teaching something good though. If not even if he sits in church with you he won't be learning much. Also, some churches, not all, have an adult Sunday school and then church and during the adult SS they have SS for the kids and then during church it's more of a kids church and often that's not as good for them as a Sunday school class and usually the workers do less real teaching and more songs or keeping them busy that way. If that's the case he may not like it as well and usually it's more kids in that situation. Check on the class and find out for sure what they are doing. We never let our kids skip it at that age but I did stay in with some of the much younger ones until they adjusted.

Do you go to the church service while he attends SS? If so, why don't you bring him along to the adult service? Kids need to learn to be in church too, otherwise why will they magically want to go when their older? Obviously SS should be more geared toward his age, but if you want to go to church then just take him with you. Maybe if he doesn't like adult service he'll be more motivated to attend SS with his own age group.

talk to your religious school. They may have an alternative program.

It depends. Are you Catholic and he needs to go the make his First Holy
Communion? OR do you just want him to have some religion in his life.
So there are variables. If you are at mass while he is in there, you can try
taking him with you. Then he can decide what he likes better.