Son's BFF Is Moving

Is there any chance that you can send him to camp for even part of the summer? I recall camp as being a fairly level playing ground. It's all about fun and lots of cliques at school tend to break up when camps start as they go in different directions over the summer. There is a good chance he'll make some new friends. Even a couple of weeks would be good. He can meet some kids and then do some play dates. You'll have to facilitate those for him! And while you're at it, try to make some play dates with kids he is friendly with but might not know so well. Summer is a great time to forge a friendship!

You may want to consider finding a counselor or therapist to meet with your son a couple of times after his friend moves. Everyone says "kids are resilient." I disagree, some are and some are not. My oldest son "lost" his first BFF when we moved 3 hrs away and 5 years after we moved here our neighbor, which was is first BFF at our new home died in a tragic accident. Loss is a hard thing for kids - and kids with disabilities (learning or otherwise) do not always have the coping skills needed (heck, lots of us lack good coping skills!) to successfully get through a rough patch.

Remember, all losses encounter grief, so treat his grief as a real and important thing.

Good luck!

We moved and it was very hard for my 11 year old son to leave his best friend. But it turns out they talk almost every day on the computer or xbox while they play a game together. They joke, laugh, create videos together to put up on Youtube (of them playing a video game or making art or music they created) and schedule when the next time they will talk will be. They will also video chat each other while they are doing homework or working on something else. My son really looks forward to these times with his friend. They are just as close as they have always been. He has even introduced some of his new friends here to his old friend and they will all play on the xbox together as a group. It is interesting to me how times have changed and it is easy for kids to stay in touch these days. I wish your son luck finding a new best friend or friends. Life can be tough.

I guess coming from a military family and still living in that community, this is our normal every day. My kids come home from school and tell me their good friend is moving in a day too often. I know it stinks, but everyone recovers. Technology is so much more a factor in keeping in touch these days too. Heck, my kids keep in touch with kids they met from Canada on a cruise we took 2 years ago!

Your son will find new friends and he will be fine. This is not abnormal, at least in my world, for this type of thing to happen. But I do know how hard it is.

This happened to me 40 years ago when I was 8 and I'm an only child. I was the one that moved. This was before computers and I don't know why, but I never got to talk on the phone with my friend after that. It was the typical waving from the back window while she stood in the middle of the street. It was awful.

I would just explain to him that these things happen and he can call and talk to him as much as he wants and when they are old enough to have their own phones and facebook pages, they can keep in touch that way. I know it isn't the same, but with Skype and technology now days it does make it easier.

My mom actually tricked me when we moved. Even tho I was waving and she was in the street, my mom had said we were coming back for one more load. We never did. That was pretty traumatic for me. However, many years later we somehow found each other on fb and are back in touch. We did send Christmas letters to each other every year for many many years as well and that's how we were able to keep in touch.

Of course your son will make other friends. I know how hard it is because my kids have been through it and it's hard for them to make and keep friends because of disabilities. Just be there for him and listen to him and try to help him through it. It will be hard.

I'm sorry your son is losing his friend and that you are losing your nice neighbors.

I know you have added pressures because your child has some special needs and you worry about social pressures. This story crossed my desk the other day. Maybe you'll find it inspiring. Maybe there is someone (or better, several kids) who might do a little something along these lines. If not, you'll still feel good for a while!

http://5thgrade.littlethings.com/franklin-elementary-boys...

I hope you find some compassionate kids and also encourage your son that, if this boy was his friend, there are others out there. Help them learn to be pen pals too - it's a great skill (letter writing) and it really makes kids get excited when there's a letter in the mailbox.

But I do think kids sometimes bounce back sooner than we adult do. You have to be encouraging.

My son's best (and really only) friend moved out of state a couple of years ago. They keep in touch online and through multiplayer gaming.

My son has not made another good friend since. There are kids he likes well enough at school to interact with there, but not well enough to want to invite them over. He meets kids at activities but doesn't hang out with them outside of them. I'm starting to wonder if he is intentionally not forming bonds because it is painful when they are severed.

I am so sorry. I too have a son with a learning disability. Up until we moved ourselves from RI to NH did he meet and establish friendships. He also has one of his best friend living down the road from us. If they ever moved he would be so upset.

Someone mentioned that keeping in touch today is a lot easier. I would ensure that your son has access to his friend. Through email/ phone/ snail mail. If they are moving out of state, but it's not too far from you, you could always plan a special trip in the future. That probably would make things less " final" for your son.

If the summer is going to be rough, I would try and plan something fun to do with him. Go somewhere that he loves. Have something for him to look forward too.

I'd also find an activity he loves and sign him up for it in the summer. Perhaps he may find another kindred friend.

Same thing has happened to us last summer and it very sad. We just upped the playdates with other classmates and people in the neighborhood. No one has that same bond, but he has found amazing friends and the playdates have helped tremendously. Joining sport teams and extra curriculars with other classmates and friends helped too. I think he found comfort in playing with friends who knew the bff too. A sense of therapy to remeniss ...Good luck.

is there any way they can keep in touch? we moved when i was 12 and i kept in touch with my friends using letters. now there are so many avenues for keeping in touch. obviously, you don't want to expose him to anything dangerous on the internet but maybe they could have a skype date one in a while?? my son goes to a private school so getting him together with some of his classmates is difficult because of distance and he skypes with them regularly. just a thought. :-) S