Son's Favorite Color Is Pink

Updated on September 19, 2012
R.D. asks from Nottingham, MD
49 answers

He's 6.5 and has always loved the color pink since he was 2. When he was 3 he would verbally say - my favorite color is really pink but I tell other people it's green b/c pink is for girls. Now that he's older, he tells his classmates that his favorite colors are green and pink and the other kids laugh and tease him. When he told me this, he looked like he was going to cry. I told him it's ok for boys to like the color pink. But what should I tell him to say to the other kids that tease him? Obviously, I don't want them to tease him. He said he's not going to tell anyone any more and he'll just say green. Is this a good solution though? I feel it's teaching him that he can't be honest and I don't want that either.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to those with helpful answers. I was only looking to see what I should have my son say to those teasing him that pink is for girls and not boys. Yes he gets teased. Why would I make that up? We have always told him that it was ok for boys to like pink and even wear pink if they choose. We didn't pound it into his brain that pink was strictly for girls. As far as him saying that he would tell people he likes green b/c pink is for girls - he came up with that on his own. We didn't tell him to say that. And no, I myself did not say – pink is for girls. That’s what he says the other kids tell him. I came here looking for advice on what to tell him to do, not that it’s me who wasn’t accepting him b/c he loved pink. I never said that. If he loves pink, it’s fine with me. It's just a color so yes, I'm accepting of it. I never asked him to lie about it either, he just knew it caused other kids to tease him (which he obviously didn’t like) and decided just to tell them green. Yes he needs to learn how to cope with it and defend himself. This is why I came here to ask what I should tell him. And stop pouring condemnation on my son’s color preference?!? Stop lying on his behalf? Wow! When did I say I did either of those things? Again, thanks to those that actually answered my question.

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R.M.

answers from Sacramento on

I think HE needs to decide what HE is comfortable sharing with others and the reactions he may get. If he doesn't want to share his favorite color, that's his choice. If he does and can accept that he may get some unpleasant comments, that is up to him. Maybe help him with an assertive, but not aggressive, responose back. Also, I think somepeople on this site need to go back to school and learn some comprehension skills!!! I don't see how anyone thought you were condemning his favorite color or had the attitude that pink is girlie. It's a short post--READ IT ALL.

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

I did not read any other response...
My son's favorite color is pink too!!!
He's loved it since he could verbalize, and at 13 years old, he still loves it.
Some men can carry it off. And my son certainly wears it well. He's close to his black belt in Tae Kwon Doe, he is a competitive ball room dancer and his female partner is adorable and cute and has a huge crush on him, he's first chair clarinetist in the band at school, he's the MC for school functions, he plays soccer, rock climbs, waters skis, ride bikes with his buddies, and plays tons of Xbox with his junior high friends. He's totally a blast and has a great sense of humor. I love that he loves pink!!
He has NEVER been teased about preferring pink except by his younger sister who told him that it was her favorite color and he could not have the same favorite color.

7 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Redding on

Sounds like he had it drummed into his head when he was tiny that pink is for girls. You need to unlearn that and debrief him.
My son is 31 and looks really good in pink. His wife is Asian so she dresses him in pretty bizarre colors at times, pink being one of them.
He wears it like a man ;)

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

It's not teaching your son that he can't be 'honest' at all, by not adding 'and pink' to his "I like green". Honest doesn't mean that you have to tell any and everything to everybody. He's actually done a fairly good job at solving his problem; he will give an answer which will not cause him ridicule.

Is it okay that he gets teased for liking a color associated with girls? no. The answers below address how convoluted this perception already is. But really, here's the thing: HE is the one who has to spend the rest of the year with these kids. So, he can stick to his "I like pink" and have that become something which defines him (because of the immaturity of his classmates) OR he can decide "you know, asserting this part of my personality isn't working for me, and I'm going to assimilate a little bit and move on". In first grade, having a come-back for "ha ha, you like a girl color" is not going to shut down the negative responses. In fact, the more he insists on making this an issue, the harder it will be for those other kids to move on.

Think about it in adult terms. If someone asked me what I enjoyed doing in the evenings, I might answer 'spending time with my husband'; I likely won't add on "drinking beer in bed and watching South Park re-runs". (doesn't happen often, but it is true on occasion.) It's good discernment to know how much information to give others, socially. We learn all through life how to guard our hearts by NOT sharing our innermost thoughts with everyone. It will not make him brave to address his classmates, and it will not make him a person with more integrity-- unless HE really wants to drive this train. Otherwise, let him enjoy pink, where and when he feels comfortable doing it; don't insist he address this repeatedly just to prove a point.

12 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I think it's a reasonable solution. Especially if he thought of it on his own. I think I would say something like...
"David, I know that you really like the color pink. It's a great color, so I understand why you like it. I know it really hurt your feeling when those kids made fun of you. If you want to tell kids green is your favorite color you just go right ahead. WE know that pink still rocks!"
L.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Boys liking pink is perfectly normal. It's a lovely color and quite stereotypical that only girls should like it.

My son actually had a pink T-shirt that said, "Real men wear pink".

Many grown and quite successful men know that shades of pink are highly stylish, be it shirts, ties or socks.

You know, being bluntly honest can be a good and a bad thing. Your son isn't lying if he omits one of his favorite colors when asked. He's not being blatantly dishonest. However, if he's not confident enough to just state what he truly thinks and let the rest roll off, then it's not a bad solution.

Little kids can be mean and ignorant. That's THEIR problem. There's nothing that says your son, or anyone, for that matter, has to spill all their truths to people who are bent of picking them apart. He doesn't have to change how he feels or what he likes to please anyone else. My son got teased for loving brussel sprouts. Did he stop eating them? Heck no.

Try not to worry so much. Your son doesn't have to inwardly change a single thing.

Just my opinion.
Best wishes.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

aw poor baby. just love him, mom. it's his choice if he doesn't want to tell people - think about it, we all have things about ourselves we don't tell people. let him know that YOU will love him no matter what. maybe talk to him about who at school he COULD tell that his favorite color is pink. if he can think of anyone, maybe steer him towards those friends instead? but mostly, just love him. he sounds like a really sweet, sensitive little boy. you're so blessed that he confides these things to you. treasure and protect that relationship.

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

My son's favorite color is purple. I thought my (ex) husband was going to cry ;)

Tell him to laugh when kids tease him because they're missing out on a great color! *I* don't like pink, does that make me a boy? Please. ;)

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

"Pink is just a lighter shade of red."

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you are doing a good job. Obviously it hurts to see your children hurt, but unfortunately we can't shield them from all of life's unkindness. I agree with the mom who said that part of growing up is knowing how much of yourself to share to the world. Honesty and discretion are not mutually exclusive. Are children still teasing him about this? Sometimes a bored "so what?" back to them is all it takes to get them to drop it. If they see he doesn't care what they say, they'll move on. And all pink really is is light red.

And I know that there were some answers on here that seemed a little harsh, but I think it was an honest misreading of your original post. You said that your son said, "My favorite color is really pink but I tell other people it's green b/c pink is for girls." Reading it without the quotes and too quickly could kind of make it sound like YOU were the "I" who was telling other people his favorite color is green.

You're doing fine. Honestly, I think it's very sweet that a boy with a mama named R. loves the color pink. What a lovely tribute to you. :)

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I think its awesome that your son's fav color is pink! What you can tell him to tell the other kids is--- So what---you like red? I like pink. We all like different colors and thats ok. Its ok for us not to like the same things--thats what makes us special and unique. I would practice with him and see how he does. I would encourage him to say its pink and not green b/c of the teasing. If the teasing doesn't stop when he tells them to stop, he should tell the teacher. Everyone needs to respect eachother no matter what we believe.

As far as your What happened post---I am so sorry that people didn't read your question correctly and you were judged harshly. I think your doing a great job!

Take care,
M

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

There's nothing wrong with pink.
It's only one color out of billions and any one color is just as good as the next.
Pink has never been one of my favorites but that doesn't matter.

It's not that he's lying when he tells people his favorite color is something else besides pink.
He's deciding that other people are not always entitled to know everything about him.
He's developing an inner editor - something we all do at some time or another because - let's face it - a lot of the time other people are idiots.
Rosey Grier likes needle point, but when you are a 300 lb football player lineman - who's going to pick on you for your choice of hobbies?

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

R.:

Welcome to mamapedia...

No. Pink is NOT for girls...maybe as an infant, yes...but otherwise? NO.

My son's favorite color is PURPLE..and he's 10..he wants purple luggage...do I think he's gay or a girl? NO!! GET OVER IT!!!! And that's what he tells people who say "purple, really?" He said and has said "It's MY favorite color. You don't HAVE to like it."

You need to talk to the teacher in his classroom - the other kids shouldn't be teasing him over a FREAKING COLOR!!! He should not have to lie about anything.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I have never heard of being laughed at for liking pink. Are you sure the reaction isn't more of how he makes it pink and green because you are embarrassed that he likes pink?

I think if you stop with the pink is bad attitude things will be fine.

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B.K.

answers from Chicago on

Wow you get bullied for asking a simple question on here? No wonder I don't ask many questions anymore.

Yes, believe it or not, kids do get teased over their color choices, and for many other things. My kids were always on the teasing end of things, so I know that even simple, stupid things like this can get kids teased. I'll bet the people who don't get that have kids who are bullies. It's astonishing to me how many parents of bullies don't see it at all.

I like that he tells the kids his favorite is green. It really doesn't matter what he says, especially if he likes green, and especially if he knows saying "pink" will get reactions he can't deal with right now. It's hard to tell people to go to hell and get over it when you're 6. Maybe every day he should just change it up and pick a different color to keep kids guessing.

My daughter's 5th grade teacher (she's now in 9th) loves the color pink, and he's a 30-year-old guy. He still wears pink polos and shirts to school. And I'm sure at his age he doesn't give a hoot what people think. But that's easier when you're 30, than when you're 6.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Some of these women here are harsh. It wasn't like this at the beginning of this forum. Breathe.

So, here's the deal. Back in the day, pink was for boys and blue was for girls. Pink was a derivative of red - a power color and blue was soft, relaxing color. Somehow through the ages, things got switched.

Everyone reacts different to different input. I could care less what people think of me. My SIL - not so much. She is crushed if someone says anything about her. She probably would lie about the color thing. I wouldn't, but I have tough skin.

Go with what he thinks. Reinforce that pink is a great color. Some kids are lame and tease no matter what. Right now it might be the color, tomorrow it might be the shape of his nostrils. It is what it is. He also has to figure out what he WANTS to share with people. I choose not to share my sex life with people, but other people think it's perfectly acceptable. Your son may not want to share his favorite color with his classmates. It's all good.

"I don't have the formula for success, but I do have the formula for failure: try and please everyone all of the time."

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

So sad that kids get teased and stereotyped because of stuff like this... there's nothing wrong with a boy liking the color pink. No one would give a second though to a girl liking the color blue. I mean , really... why do we have to have "boy" colors and "girl" colors. There’s nothing inherent that says pink is for girls and blue is for boys – gender-specific colors are the result of what fashion magazines told us in the 1950s.

Your son sounds like a sweetie pie. I would build up his esteem in whatever area he is good at or likes (does he like to draw? sports? karate?) and encourage him to be himself. I would give him some comebacks for when kids tease him, like..." who cares...? It's just a color. What's your favorite color?" Teach him to speak up for himself.

Kids tease to get a reaction. If your son doesn't give them one or act like his love for pink is any big deal maybe the teasing will cease.

I've written about this before, but when my son was in preschool he had truly no clue what was for girls and what was for boys... he wore costumes every day; sometimes dressed in a cheetah unitard, sometime all red clothes to be a "red"panda", sometimes in a bear costume. For a period of time he liked having his toenails painted. At one point he decided that he loved red sparkly dorothy shoes. His sister had a pair, but they didn't fit him. (And she wouldn't part with them). At his school, in the costume box, he found a pair and they fit him, and one day he came home wearing them. When I asked him why he wore them home he told me the teachers gave them to him. I knew that wasn't right so the next day I asked. They told me that he said that they were his and he wore them all day, and since no one noticed what he was wearing when he came in (and he was known for wearing costumes) they believed him. He told me that he said they were his because he liked them and he didn't want to share them with the other BOYS who all wanted a turn wearing them. My point is that if your son is confident about what his choices are kids may razz him, but they won't rattle him, you know?

Good luck mama~ let your son tell people whatever he wants about what his favorite color is... if it's too much and he wants to say he loves green instead, be understanding about it and tell him that you understand and he can be free to love pink at home as much as he wants. It really depends on your child, but I love that the two of you have such a lovely connection and he can be open with you about it.

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

Obviously I am late answering this question but I have to tell you what happened in my Sunday School class. We had one boy who sat down to color and cheerfully chose pink. All the kids were 1 st graders. Tow of the girls started teasing him that pink was a girl color. He stopped and thought a min and and then said "Well, pink is the new blue!" and just as cheerfully went back to coloring! Part of getting along is not sweating the small stuff and it's all small stuff! Create resillence in him by doing silly stuff when people are looking and laugh about it! Tell him it's pretty silly for others to be concerned about a crayon color! Sometimes when my kids were little I would not go see a movie because I didn't like what it portrayed. I was sure to tell them why and let them know they have choices to make in life and we are not followers....we are leaders!

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M.M.

answers from Fresno on

I don't think he should feel bad for liking the color pink. It's not a girl color or a boy color its just a color. He is so young and should not have to worry about what other people think. I think if it was my son, I would tell him that if anyone makes fun of him for a color he likes, it's just ignorance on their part and for him not to worry about it. He should not be worrying about saying green. Kids can be ridiculous and mean sometimes, I have seen it in my girls school, but he has to be true to himself and be honest and if someone doesn't like him because of it, then they can look for another friend. good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Ah, one of the sexiest men I know wears a bright pink polo on occasion. He looks great in bright colors and it is my favorite shirt on him. ;)

Pink, blue, green, purple, yellow - they are all just colors. It is society that teaches children that pink is for girls and blue is for boys, when, conversely, the opposite used to hold true.

From a 1918 editorial called “Pink or Blue” .....

“There has been a great diversity of opinion on the subject, but the generally accepted rule is pink for the boy and blue for the girl. The reason is that pink being a more decided and stronger color is more suitable for the boy; while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”

My son was, and remains, a slightly different child - he has always had his own drummer. When he had a penchant for Polly Pockets as a toddler, he carried them everywhere. When teased, he simply explained, with young child seriousness, that toys were toys and it didn't matter what anyone played with.

I am of the mind to explain to your son that he doesn't have to conform to societal ideas regarding color assignment. That he should be made proud of his choices and not taught to hide his preferences from others. Teach a few facts about the color pink - pick up a few names of strong men who wear the color and teach him those things to say to others in response to their teasing.

Hugs

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M.P.

answers from Peoria on

It's too bad that sometimes we get harsh judgements here. Take them with a grain of salt.

In any case, if it were my son, I would probably tell him to do what he feels. If he feels comfortable to share his preferences with others, than he certainly can. But if he prefers not to because of the reactions he gets, then that is okay too. This is really a great teaching opportunity. I would stress that it is perfectly okay to be/do/like different things than other people (mainstream norms). Explain that sometimes people look different, act different and like different things. Emphasize that you are unique and special and you should NOT change who you are because it is not considered "normal", and let's face it, a lot of today's socially acceptable norms are NOT so great either! AND, I would also use it to teach him that it hurts when others tease you for any reason and that is why we don't tease others.

Good luck.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Wow, he really should be able to admit what his favorite color is and not be laughed at.

I would work with him and see if you can build up his courage about this. So what if people laugh".. It is silly. We all have favorite things that some people may laugh at. It is the other people that actually have the problem..

I was just reading an article this week about a boy on a football team that was wearing pink gloves. They told him he could not play with the team. So the boy quit. The reason the boy wanted to wear pink? His mother has breast cancer. He is showing he is supporting his mother.

http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/communities/hammonton_...

My nephews Varsity football team has a player that wears pink football shoes to support his mother and last season the entire team wore pink , using the sports tape, to show their support of Breast Cancer Patients, survivors and research.. ..

Your son does not need to have an excuse for what he likes.. instead he can be honest.

Colors are just colors.. What would be wrong with a boy or man liking pink? Nothing..

Not to be political.. but this reminds me of the whole Pres. Obama.. thing about people saying he is secretly Muslim.. Even though he is NOT.. So what if he was Muslim?

So what if Gov. Romney is Mormon?

So what if JFK was Catholic? It is who they are..

Intelligent people are not afraid of differences.. heck we embrace it!
Small, frightened people are afraid of different or individuality.. They are still acting like the 6.5 year olds your son is dealing with..

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

A boy whose favorite color is pink has to OWN it in our society. Tell him he can keep his favorite color to himself, tell only people he trusts or tell the world and deal with the haters.

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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Its really up to him what he wants to tell the other kids. I dont know your sons personality. My daughter is fairly outgoing/assertive so I would probably have her practice saying 'I can like any color I want and I dont like you calling me girly, stop it', or something similar in a loud voice. But she probably wouldnt have to practice, since she would have already told the kid to shut it, lol. If your son is more shy, maybe it would be best for him to just not tell people about pink being his favorite, not everyone needs to know everything about us all the time, and I dont think its wrong or even lying to choose how much we want people to know. Im not always bluntly honest, Im sure you are not either, so its ok for your son not to be. I would encourage him towards whichever direction you feel he would be more comfortable with.

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R.A.

answers from Boston on

I would tell my son to say that pink is just a color. Just like any other. Lots of cool things are pink. My sons favorite is yellow. It's great that he likes such a bold, bright, and happy color.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Tell him to tell them it's just a color, like any other color, and that the whole idea of certain colors only belonging to one sex or the other is beyond asinine.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

I work with a very manly engineer who wears pink button down shirts and they look great on him. My husband would not wear pink if you paid him.
I would tell him that what you like is just what it is, but you do not have to share everything with everyone (unless he is asking to wear pink every day).
And I agree with him: seeing a field of pink flowers or a pink tinged sunset is beautiful, tell him God loves pink too!

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

.

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

It's interesting that you asked this, because we had a similar discussion with our 8.5 year old son yesterday. I haven't read your other responses, and after reading your SWH, I don't think I will. It sounds like some people weren't very friendly. ;)

Our 8.5yo loves purple. He always has. He also loves pink and green. He has a purple shirt that he got at a Vacation Bible School that most of the kids in his class went to, and he wears it all the time. It's fine since they all have the shirt. My oldest son is almost 15, and is very comfortable in his own skin. Both boys are extremely close.

We were shopping at Target yesterday, and my youngest announced that he wanted a pink shirt. My oldest replied that pink shirts could look great, but he needed to be sure he picked the right style. He pointed out that their dad wears pink dress shirts, and looks really sharp, and that there are other pink shirts that look good, too, but that some don't look very good. They can look girly if they aren't the right style.

I thought it was a great response. As for your son and the teasing, I would encourage him to be honest, but teach him some good responses (come-backs) for when he is teased. People only like to tease meanly when they know they are hurting someone. If your son is able to laugh it off, then they won't tease him anymore. It would be a shame for him to think at such a young age that he has to lie about his likes/dislikes, but I completely understand the urge to fit in.

Good luck. Parenting is hard sometimes.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Well, it sounds like you're not very accepting of his love for pink - you, yourself said that "pink is for girls". I think before you can help him, you need to accept that pink is just that - pink, it's a color & encourage him to be himself. That's it.

No, of course him lying about who he is to avoid teasing is obviously NOT good or healthy.

I think Cheryl O gave you some good advice as far as responses to the teasing. He needs to learn coping skills & how to defend himself.

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J.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi R.,

Sorry your son is going through this....seems every child has something they get teased about... and it is hard to see your child go through these kinds of things.

My son is still in a 5-point Britax because he is on the small side for his age. On occasion, when we've had friends in the car who are much larger (but same age or grade), the other kids will ask something like, "why are you still in a baby seat?" At first, my son was very hurt by these questions and comments. I'd respond to the other child and say, "It's just safer for him to be in that seat until he's taller and weighs a bit more." Now, my son just tells them himself, "I've got to be in here until I'm taller" or something similar.

Can you help him find some words of his own to use as a response?
Ask him how he'd like to answer the question and go from there. His answer to this may direct you in the way to go. You can explain to your son that some young children are still learning the skills of respect, kindness, and consideration, and the kids who are saying mean things need lots more practice learning to not hurt others.

Can you ask him what makes pink his favorite? Maybe he'll discover that he likes pink because "it's the color of my favorite strawberry smoothies." Whatever he comes up with might end up being a really good response to use when asked this in the future. Most kids would find it hard to disagree with liking strawberry smoothies, bubble gum, or some favorite pink candy.

He could also just respond with something like, "Today, it's Green" and leave it at that. He is old enough to learn that he doesn't have to engage in conversations where other kids make him feel badly.

As for the responses that were off the mark, just ignore them. Take what's useful and helps your situation.

Best to you and your family.

J. F.

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S.F.

answers from New York on

I highly recommend the "Pinky and Rex" books by James Howe!

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

One of my son's loved purple. It seemed a little odd, but whatever, it wasn't the end of the world. I did point out that for many purple is seen as a girl color, really to gauge his reaction, and he just said that it was okay he still liked it. End of story for him.

A few years later we realized that he was color blind and mixed purple and blue up. He really like blue, not purple lol. He still on occasion will ask if something is blue or purple because the 'tone' will be different and he can't tell them apart.

He was never teased as a kid, sure kids thought it was strange, but he didn't care. He liked it and that was that.

Help your son to like it, and not care what others say.

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C.D.

answers from Atlanta on

It's just insane that a color can cause such a big deal. I know it does because I've seen it with kids and adults.

Actually I think it's great that he likes pink so much, it's a good color for children boy or girl especially before the age of 8. He's doing what is natural for him and should be for all kids.

You could discuss with him all colors and how all colors are beautiful like the rainbow and come from the rainbow. And if he's asked which color is his favorite he could just say all the colors. That's personally what I always said, because it was true.

He should not be made to feel bad for liking pink or any thing.

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Aww poor guy I am so sorry to hear the other boys are teasing him. If I was in your situation I would probably tell him that he can respond however he wants to the mean kids but that they are not the type of kids he wants to be friends with. Every child has to learn to deal with ridicule from their peers and while I would never encourage him to hide any part of his personality from others, especially something as silly as color preference, I would also let him determine how best to deal with it. Honestly if I was in his situation I would have probably come to the same solution he did. I would stress however that anyone who teases him about it is not someone he wants to be friends with because they are not being nice people. I would be more concerned about him trying to change who he is to fit in with his peers, rather than him just telling a little fib in order to have them leave him alone.

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M.M.

answers from Columbia on

My kids' thirteen year old male babysitter's favorite color is PINK. And, he's one of the coolest kids I know. I love how he mixes in a little bit of bright pink in his clothes. Try finding him some really masculine clothing that mixes in some pink. Let him set the example that pink is cool.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Aw, poor little guy.

On Little Bill, the father teaches Bill to say, "So?" and no other answer. As in "So what?" and then move on. I don't know if that would work for your son, but have him say, "So?" It often takes the wind out of someone's sails if you aren't bothered by it.

You might also look up some Real Men Wear Pink sites - usually in support of Breast Cancer Awareness, but you might be able to find celebrities in pink shirts that your son can use to feel better about pink. Didn't Aerosmith sing about "Pink is my favorite color"? Etc.

Unfortunately sometimes what happens is that our children (and ourselves) learn that to fit in we need to adjust our answers and be less honest. And that's OK, too. He doesn't need to be a 6 yr old activist. Just watch for other bullying behaviors and maybe talk to his teacher if you feel that he's being picked on.

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

So he like shades of red :) Isn't that what pink is a shade of red. I think it is cool that he likes pink... sorry that the kids are picking on him about it! Kids can be so mean over the stupidest of things!!

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D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, R.:

He can tell his friends that he likes the color Pink because his Mother's name is R..

Other than that, this is a school problem. This is bullying.

Contact

www.IIRP.edu

and see about the school getting involved with their whole school
change program.

www.safersanerschools.org

Good luck.
D.

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

One of our grandsons wore a shirt to school that was striped with several colors including pink. If you look at stores like Dillard's, etc. they sell them for men too, in pink mixed and plain pink even.( Show your son these shirts if you can. ) However, our grandson was teased and made fun of and so he refuses to wear it now. His mom got it for him and it's a pretty shirt and not only pink at all. This is silly in my opinion for kids to think such things because pink is just a color and God made all of the colors. I mean if he wanted to dress like a girl in pink that is different. But to like a color is just a color. I think, though, that I would discuss this with him seriously and tell him that kids can be mean and to maybe not tell them, but to be honest, and maybe pick a second favorite color he could tell them is ONE of his favorites, like the green. He will most likely not even like pink someday and move on to another favorite color and the more this upsets him the more damage it will do in the future. The people who are so afraid of pink and things like that that are usually the ones most insecure themselves. Like I said it's not like he wants to be a girl or dress like one....it's a color.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

In the 'old days' pink was considered a boys color, baby boys wore pink while baby girls wore blue. Pigs, flamingos, dolphins, elephants, iguanas and sunsets have pink in them. My son is the same age and he also likes pink. He just tells kids it's a cool color and they are silly if they have a problem with it. Give your son some historical info on the color, maybe it will make him feel better and give him something to say.

"University of Maryland Professor Jo B. Paoletti, author of book Pink and Blue: Telling the Girls From the Boys in America, considers this was common usage in French orphanages during the 18th century,[14] but this was not the case everywhere. In the United States, there was no established rule:

In 1855 the New York Times reported on a "baby show" put on by P.T. Barnum, exhibiting "one hundred and odd babies" dressed in pinks, blues, and other colors seemingly without regard to gender. ... A Times fashion report from 1880 has boys and girls dressed alike in white, pink, blue, or violet, and another from 1892 says young girls were wearing a variety of colors that spring, including several shades of blue[15]

There are theories indicating an origin of this costume in the 20th century. Zucker and Bradly say that it began in the 1920s[16] and other authors suggest the 1910s.[17] An article in the trade publication Earnshaw's Infants' Department in June 1918 said: "The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl."[18] From then until the 1940s, pink was considered appropriate for boys because being related to red it was the more masculine and decided color, while blue was considered appropriate for girls because it was the more delicate and dainty color, or related to the Virgin Mary.[19][20][21] Since the 1940s, the societal norm was inverted; pink became considered appropriate for girls and blue appropriate for boys, a practice that has continued into the 21st century.[22]"

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E.D.

answers from Seattle on

When I read your post for the first time, I thought you meant that your son would say, "my favorite color is pink", and YOU would tell other people, "his favorite color is green," because you thought pink is for girls and was embarrassed by his color preference.

But that's not what you meant. Phew! Glad we're on the same page.

I want to send your son a great big giant pink hug.

It's so silly that children are teased for being attracted to certain hues. I mean, no one gets to claim a color - they are for everybody! Maybe he should have a protest ;-)
"Whose color?"
"The people's color!"

In all seriousness, perhaps it would help your son to understand what color is, scientifically speaking. Sure, we attach meaning and importance to color,
sometimes arbitrarily -
European American:
brides wear white when getting married, white = pure,
black is worn during funeral, black = mourning

Certain Asian Americans:
white is worn at funerals, white = death,
red is worn by bride getting married, red = good luck

and sometimes for a purpose:
this strawberry is red so it must be sweet
this water is blue so it must be deep

Color IS culturally significant even if culturally contextual.

Too, our ability TO see color, is a scientific process that helps us to identify and recognize the world around us.

http://www.sciencecompanion.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/0...
http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/eyecol.html

Perhaps if he understands
1.) cultural and historical significance of color
2.) scientific basis of color
When he was teased, he could launch into an explination about the complexities of colors and that, in fact, pink is not a "girls color" but a fascinating scientific and cultural story that we all get to participate in and enjoy.
______
Holey MIND BLOWN!!! Check THIS out!!
So I went and asked the oracle (aka google) about pink, and I found this nifty video - pink is the COOLEST color. Please have your son watch this, because, guess what, it's incredible!
http://gizmodo.com/5850825/theres-no-such-thing-as-pink

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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

Who ever decided that blue is for boys and pink is for girls? Yet society has adopted this and it sometimes is limiting children to a stereotype. I would not discourage your son for liking pink, but for the reality that this world we live in is messed up, and to avoid him getting teased or bullied, let him continue to keep his preference to himself and just not discuss it among his friends.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Well my son always liked pink too!! I'm not sure if people teased him or not...he never told me if they did, or even if he announced is fav color was pink. Anyway, it's OK. This will help him get stronger when he is older - because people aren't always so nice.

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T.M.

answers from Washington DC on

"When he was 3 he would verbally say - my favorite color is really pink but I tell other people it's green b/c pink is for girls." I think people misinterpreted that line that you told other people this and not him.

This forum is meant to be SUPPORTIVE and not sitting in judgement.

I think he should be proud of liking pink. He's ahead of his time. There's so much information online that could empower your son's confidence in his preferred color. Pink was originally for boys because of it's connection with the strong, masculine red. Blue was originally for girls. Now pink is a hot trend in men's clothing. Men also wear pink in support of Breast Cancer awareness. And who doesn't like rainbows? You can't have a rainbow without pink.

Best of luck!

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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

Just wanted to say sorry your little man is going through this. My son has loved Dora the Explorer for about a year now but stopped watching it is soon as he started preschool this summer. I asked him one day if he wanted to watch it and he said, "No, the boys at school said Dora is only for girls." I tried to explain but clearly the damage was done - he will not watch the show anymore. They teased him into submission. So sad.

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

nothing wrong with a little boy liking the color pink, my daughters favorite color is blue, and i dont tolerate rude people who try to tell me that she shouldnt "be allowed to wear blue" ha! she picks out her own clothes,so a good percentage of her clothes are..wait for it..BLUE. you need to have a sit down talk with your sons teacher and tell her that if she likes her job, she should put some effort into not allowing the other kids to taunt him about his color choices,or she can start looking for another job, and in this economy its not going to easy
K. h.

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C.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Take him to a department store in the men's department and show him the men's shirts which are pink, both dress and golf shirts. Tell him "real men wear pink" (and orange and purple, etc).
My husband wears pink shirts. I personally love and wear blue and I am a "girl". It is personal choice.

Tell him that it is an old tradition to dress babies in pink or blue because when they don't have any hair they all look alike and strangers always want to know if it is a boy or girl . But when you get old enough to choose, you can wear any color you like.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

if you don't want him to continue getting bullied either tell him to not tell other kids what his favorite color is. or actually explain to him that usually pink is a girlie color. no need to tell him he cannot like it anymore, but maybe by pointing out the obvious, he will start preferring another color.
if you think he is strong enough to continue getting teased about it, then leave it be.

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