Son Wandering off And/or Hiding

leash him and make him ask if he wants to go somewhere. leashed he is given some roaming room about 4 ft but he cant wander off. I do this with my son for diffrent reasons.

I think that your son needs to be reminded before you leave the house and again when you get out of the car that he needs to stay with you. He needs to be told that if he wants to look at something, he needs to tell you. The reminders need to be constant.
You might want to institute a consequence for his running off - whether he means to or not - find his currency. For example, if he likes video games, he loses them for the rest of the day if he runs off. You have to do it every single time no matter what. He'll figure it out.
I used to put my kids on a leash at the mall or at venues that might be crowded. People thought I was terrible, but I didn't much care.
I always made my kids hold on to the cart at the grocery store. I also gave them chores to do - get me 2 of those boxes or hand me that can of soup - to keep them busy.
Field Trips - Use a jump rope with bells every foot or so and have the kids hold the bells. It keeps them together.

YMMV
LBC

My loving son has severe ADHD and sensory processing ... think TIGGER!!! If it were not for our "child leash" or we call him Monkey Backpack ... my son would be long gone by now! Treat him like a child while using it and you are good to go ... there is a post about this as well on here somewhere recently. Really most people can shove it if they do not like it ... I LOVE MY SON more than my DOG! And they listen about equally.

Ordinarily I would not suggest this but, in this situation . . . .
Consider putting a leash on him when you're at this kind of large place.
If he has a belt loop, put something through there and attach it
to a bracelet on you. If no belt loop, do something creative . . .
attached to his clothing, not to his body.

As for a clothing store . . . . if at all possible,
don't take him with you when you are shopping for clothes.
Do that kind of thing while he's in school or let him have a play date
with a friend or visit a relative while you're shopping.

I think it's wonderful that you go to places like the botanical garden.
Marvelous places to learn new things.
When he takes off to look at what interests him,
GO WITH HIM. Let him explain the nature to you, if he can.
Or you and he can talk about what he has found.

Oh. I just saw that there's a "What Happened".
I'll read that and maybe come back with more ideas.
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Yes. What Kristina said.
Get ready for people to make nasty comments.
That's OK. Let them.
You'll know your child is safe and you won't need to worry
about his whereabouts or his safety.
It may be unrealistic to expect him to remember to let you know
before he takes off. I think the impulse is far greater than his ability
to remember your safety instructions. For the time being.
This may improve as he gets older.
In fact, 7 years is generally a large cognitive leap.
In the next 6-9 months, he may surprise you with new abilities
and understanding and cooperation.

Hi--
I think that there are lots of things you can do to actually reverse the symptoms you are seeing in your son so that you don't have to deal with this type of behavior. See the below link on brand new research concerning autistic symptoms. More and more it is showing that environmental toxins (related to food allergies, heavy metal exposure from pollution and vaccines, and toxic chemicals from everything from flame retardants on pajamas to off-gassing carpet) are what is causing the range of symptoms the health community calls the autism spectrum. There are lots and lots of things you can do to clear the body of these toxins which helps alleviate the symptoms the child is displaying. I can explain a lot of things you can do if you are interested. However, I don't want to force it down your throat if you are not.

As for teaching him (sidenote--I am trained in working with kids that fall under this spectrum)--his brain is not processing information correctly, so trying to teach him is going to be very difficult. You can try behavior modification techniques (giving him a sticker or something that will incent him) every time he asks permission before walking away. Give him incentives to practice the behavior you want him to display. The incentive will have to be something that he really wants.

Honestly, though, I think looking into detoxifying his body, and having him tested for food allergies (particularly gluten and dairy) will help him more. I'm happy to discuss this further if you have questions.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-mark-hyman/autism-resear...

J.

I would say that this is something to work on with his Cognative behavioral therapist. If he is not in therapy, get him a referal. Also speak to his psychaitrist. Impulsive behavior is common, and can be treated medically for children with ASD. Some children can have many of the particualr symptoms eased with medication, impuslsivity is one symptom that can be helped. Also, put him in a social skills class. These are run by therapists or speech therapists, and will help him begin to see the world from others point of view (and understand that others have a point of view.) This can be a goal for his speech and langaguge thearpy as well, developing a script that he can use in times like these, and role playing when to use it.

Simple parenting techniques will not work, you need theraputic intervention along with it.

The leash may also help, but he is a little old for that, even though he has PDD. My other suggestion is to contact your county board of developmental disablities for respite care so that you do not always have to take him with you.

M.

Just to add, when a child has a neurological difference, like ASD, they may be very intellegent, however, that does not mean that they can apply intelegence in situations like these, and for kids on the spectrum, every time IS the first time because every situation is just enough different that they do not recognize sameness in a particular situation. This is one of the logical processes that actually leads to the diagnosis, when a child is evaluated, their ablity to categorize information is assessed, and this is a very poor skill for kids on the spectrum. Categorization is one of the areas where a Speech therapist will begin to work on very early, and it takes years and years of theraputic intervention for our kids to be able to apply this concept. Parenting a child with ASD is so very different from parenting a typical child, so some very logical parenting is just not effective with children who think so differnently than we do. It all starts with evaluation, and a long session with your Develpmental Pediatrician, or nueropsychologist to explaine what the numbers and the data mean to your child. Typical children have something called "woriking memory" in tact, and parents of typical children do not realize how often they rely on their children having this ablity, but we have to know how poor this particular skill is (it is the ablity to hold one thought in our heads while we do something else related or unrealted in a process and then remember what peice of information we were holding on to) it interferes with many behavioral, educational, motor, and social situations and when we know where the issue is, we can intercept where it is effective. A talk before hand is useless if you can't apply it...MR

No evidence that detoxing or food plays any role at all...you will be wasting your money and your time. Stick to theraputic standard care and interventions. No miricle cures, slow and steady wins this race! MR

I think your reasoning for why he does this is right on. He's unable to focus for long enough to control his impulsiveness. You just cannot expect him to change. It's going to take some creativity on your part to keep track of him. I agree with putting him on a "leash" of sorts. There are back packs with a "leash" attached that would be very low key.

Both of my grandchildren have been wanders at times. In some circumstances I enforce holding their hands or their keeping their hand on the cart. You can somewhat keep them interested by talking about what you're doing and asking them to help you find things. At a large event such as you described I'd insist that he hold my hand even when I was following him to check out his interest. It is too easy to get lost in a crowd. I've seen adults hold onto each other so that they won't get separated.

Another thing that I've done is to insist that they ride in the grocery cart main section. Sometimes, I'd bring along something for them to do. Coloring book, paper for drawing, or imaginative toys such as Littlest Pet Shop animals.

My grandson is now 7 and getting better about not wandering. Even a "normal" child goes thru the wandering and hiding phase which they outgrow. However, my grandson has several developmental issues and is thought to possibly be on the low end of the autism spectrum scale. I still hold his hand in high intensity situations. He often objects, more so than when he was younger, but his choice is hold my hand or we leave. All it takes is to head for the exit and he takes hold of my hand.

We do want to encourage exploring and I suggest that in this sort of situation it's important to go with them as they pursue their interests. I don't have as much fun when I take my grandson some places but I realize that if I want him to learn new things I must give up some of my own freedom to closely watch him.

Again, I suggest that he's not able to conform by telling you where he's going; therefore it's important to keep a close eye on him when you're out. I suggest he will get better at telling you as he matures and gets professional help learning to control his impulsiveness. For now, keep a hand on him if you're not actually holding his hand.

When you get someplace, remind him that he can't just take off without asking first if there is something he wants to see/do. You could also try making him hold your hand or hold onto the shopping cart while you are in the store and he isn't allowed to let go either. You'd be very likely to notice if he was walking next to the shopping cart one min and not there the next!
You just have to remember, he is 7 and kids are easily distracted at any age when there is a cool toy to look at!!

S.

I am only somewhat familiar with the Autism Spectrum, so I may be way off, but I do tend to think that it is a parent's job to teach their children to be kind, considerate, and productive members of society-to the very best of the child's ability. Good for you for trying to find a way to deal with this problem instead of simply blaming his diagnosis!

I would try warning him when you leave the house and when you arrive at your destination -maybe even periodically throughout the trip- that if he wanders off this time, next time he will have to hold your hand (or be on a 'leash', whichever you prefer) the entire time you are out. At 7, a child is old enough to understand delayed punishment (and from what I've read, people on the Autism Spectrum tend to be very intelligent?)

Good luck with this! What a scary thing to not know where your child is even for a moment, especially in such a crowded place! My middle son went through the disappearing phase and it was less than fun, to say the least! Lucky for me, he really dislikes holding hands in public, so the threat of having to do so has a big effect on him, lol!