Son Won't Nap

wince I hate to say this but ...some kids stop needing a nap at age three. it's not common but medical info I read indicates it's not impossible.

having said that have you seen doctor to rule out any physical reasons? that is typically my move on things like this. for example, my son had runny nose almost all the time for a long time and no one was taking seriously. I took to an ENT and guess what? his adenoids are huge. took them out, solved that issue (and apparently sleep deprivation from blocked airways).

I know gas prices are high, but when I got desperate with my son I would drive around. Works like a charm. I know it's not ideal, but it could get him some much needed shut eye. I also looked forward to the drive, because I could listen to music and relax. Good luck.

There is always the possibility that he is uncomfortable in some way, early teething pain, acid reflux etc. But if that's not the case he may just not need a lot of sleep. There are a lot of people in this world that never really needed much. I've given birth to a couple myself :)

Suzi

Are you nursing? If so- have you tried napping with him? Or at least laying with him until he falls asleep (you can make a soft place on the floor with a blanket or two and lay with him for a bit.)

Please do not let him "cry it out" as it does cause long-term damage to infants.

Harvard Study (so you know there is medical proof)

http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNee...

Also- using Babywise is extremely dangerous. Not only is he NOT a medical professional- there have been several deaths associated with using his program.

One thing I didn't see mentioned, but we heard when our oldest wouldn't take naps, is that some kids get overstimulated. If you are keeping him busy with activities and moving him around a lot, it can cause him to be overstimulated and he won't want to sleep. Our doc told us that around nap time to just slow down and help him wind down, before attempting to get him to sleep. For example, we always did tummy time and then fed him and put him to bed. One other thing is that he is really starting to notice things around him- the first couple of months, babies sleep a lot and then they start to really notice things- they look for new things, see things a little farther away and they don't want to miss anything- so if you wind down, he will feel more like he's not going to miss anything and he'll be more likely to go to sleep. Good luck!!

Have you tried a sling. I didn't with mine, but I have the discovered the joy of having my hands free now that I work with infants. Plus, they love "walking" around with you. You won't get so frustrated by feeling that you are tied down while waiting for him to fall asleep. It simulates the womb by hugging them close to your body, moving them while you walk and keeping them toasty warm. Typically that will help them fall asleep and then you can take the sling off when they are in a deep sleep. Babies have a quiet state of sleep and an active state and it could be that yours hits that active state and is waking himself up. Swaddling him before bedtime until he can put himself back down is a good idea. There are good recommendations on the sling on websites. Let me know if you want to know more. I am happy to answer questions.

this baby needs a schedule. with my kids i got up with them they awoke, did the breakfast thing and played the hell out of them for about 2-3 hours. then, about 10, i'd lay them down. they took their nap (and they fussed sometimes too, but always slept) i'd get them when they slept and woke up (not just if they laid in there and screamed) and do the lunch thing, playing all the while...jumpy seat, bouncer, walks, etc, and they'd take another nap about 2. then when they went to bed at night they were good and tired from being up so long in a row, but they got the sleep they needed during the day. a baby his age needs to sleep about 15 hrs a day. good luck!

Hi J.. When my youngest daughter was about the same age she did the same thing! She was so crabby all the time I thought maybe a sling was the answer y'know keeping her close to me all the time. That definately didn't work, but a couple of friends of mine told me about a book called On Becoming Baby Wise. First of all it gives you permission to let your child cry himself to sleep no matter how long it takes. But it also stresses a schedule of eat, play, sleep. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was for my daughter and the rest of our family when Naomi finally went back to getting her naps durning the day!!! I will tell you though, that the first nap I listened to her cry for an hour and a half... but after that she loved the schedule and slept wonderfully from then on.

Despite some suggestions, I thoroughly agree with you that a 3 month old still needs naps. July's American Baby just had an article about how to get your baby on a nap schedule. There was so much great advice. You can find the article by searching for "nap schedule" on americanbaby.com. The article is 9 Naptime Problems and Solutions.

From what I read, you need to make sure you have a specific naptime routine (a mini version of what you do at night): a darkened room, sing a lullaby, hold him a LITTLE bit and put your son down drowsy (always make sure you don't put him down too tired). Choose two time periods for established naps such as 9:30 and 1:00 (or whatever works for you). My daughter (now 2 1/2) was a horrible sleeper when she was young. I always played a lullaby cd for her, pretty loud, and that did the trick in a darkened room (after much colic, etc). She just gave up the music, but for 2 years, it was the same CD...

I hope you find the advice you need to make your son rest. You both need this naptime right now!

J. - I really Feel you PAIN!! My son was very similar when he was a baby. He is now 4 1/2 yrs old and still naps every day and has been a GREAT napper for most of his life! But when he was an infant from about 3 wks old to about 5 months old he would sleep great at night and scream during the day. I knew he was tired, but NOTHING was helping! Here are the few things that actually DID work: Swaddling! Trust me on this one, even if he fights it at first. Keep trying and I promise it will help him. Then the other thing I realized about my son was that he got very easily overstimulated and once that happened he was unable to recover and fall asleep. If I waited to see a yawn before I put him down it was already too late. Try to take away some the flashing light toys or cut down on the outings you take him on. Remember to a 3 month old everything is new and they are trying to take so much in and learn so much every day it can be overwhelming. Try a few calm days at home with lots of books and quiet activities and swaddle for naps. Remember he should be taking 3 naps at this age and the first one will come very quickly only an hour or 2 after he wakes up in the morning.

I hope all this helps! Remember this too shall pass and you will be fine. Let us know!

D.

I totally understand your concern! You didn't mention, but are you trying to put him down in his crib or just letting him fall asleep during the day? I know when my daugher was around 4-5 months I needed to really start her on a nap routine by putting in her crib where previously I would just let her sleep in the swing, etc. It helped tremendously and solved my problem! Obviously your son is a bit younger, but maybe he is neededing a routine earlier. If you try some things or are still concerned definitely talk to your doctor, that's why they're there!

I know you've gotten some great advice already but thought I'd throw in my 2 cents. I really like the book "Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep and Wake Up Happy by Kim West. She has a whole section about napping. Our daughter stopped sleeping completely at Christmas when she was five months old. It was awful! This book finally got her to sleep at night and, eventually, become a better (if not good) napper. Good luck!

My son was the exact same way. He is 1 now and up until about 6-7 mos of age he finally started taking naps! I myself didn't know what to do. I had no choice but to let him stay up b/c he wouldn't let me put him down. But you have to. They need to learn to self sooth themselves to sleep. I know it will be hard but you can do it. You have to for your sake!

Hey J.,

I feel your pain, my youngest had a hard time falling asleep for naps as well. He usually would fall asleep in his swing, but when everything else failed, the car or dryer did the trick. I used to put him in his car seat on the dryer and start a cycle, the vibration would make him fall asleep everytime. He eventually outgrew that phase and is now a good napper. Once he got older, he got better at self soothing and we have the same routine before naptime that we have before bedtime: 3 stories, music, 4 songs and down. I know they say sleeping in a car seat or swing is not as good as in a bed, but when it's the only place a baby will sleep, it's better than nothing. Hope this helps!

I think that he ought to be taking about 3 naps that last somewhere around an hour or two. He is very little and you are very right - he needs to rest to grow and store all the things he learned that day. I think the trick to your situation is to put him on a schedule. My kids were on a schedule similar to this (always allow a half hour on either side of the times for flexibility so you, the mommy, don't stress out about the schedule :) )
6:00 am - wake up and eat
6:30-7:30/8:00 play
7:30/8:00 - nap time
9:00 - wake up and eat
play for about 1 1/2 hours
11:00 - nap
12:00 - wake up and eat
play for about 1 1/2 hours
2:00 - nap
3:00 - wake up and eat

etc etc etc

My kids were on a 3 hour routine. they got up to eat about every 3 hours and played for about an hour to 1 1/2 hours. then, they would be nice and tired and would take a nap.

They say (whomever they are - but they have been right with my kiddos and those that I used to babysit) that it takes about 3 days (give or take a day or two) to get a new routine down. So, the first couple of days will be the hardest. After that, my kids come to like routines b/c it helps them organize their days and gives some stability to the otherwise very new and sometimes scary experiences.

As your son gets older he will gradually drop naps. The remaining naps also lenghten out just a bit. you'll know when he is ready for that though :)

Good luck!

Her are a few things to try:
I tried holding my son close and I would tap his back (using more pressure than a tap) and I would keep him like that for about 15 minutes and then he would fall fast asleep. Sometimes the swinging back and forth does not work.
I would also pat his butt and that would sooth him.

Try doing the burrito wrap that the hospital used when you first brought him home.
Also try a bath and then lotion with lavender or use the milk and honey scent lotion.
Good Luck!

My second was similar. I found a warm bath with soft music then a lotion rub in the dark with no sounds but me humming, before I thought he would get too tierd to enjoy it would help him when he did get tierd - usually right afterward. Are your windows blacked out - he might be sensitive to light, my oldest was that way and still is. Good luck, it might be a phase :)

You can find some excellent guidelines in a book called Babywise. You will find ideas of how many naps your child should be taking at what age, how long they should be sleeping at night, how often they should be eating, how to train them to put themselves to sleep. The book also addresses things like the "45min intruder"- babies can wake up after 45min(both of mine did) and not be finished with their nap. It also talks about not waiting until your child is too sleepy to put them to bed, and taking into consideration things like teething, growth spurts. Can you tell I highly recommend this book? =) I love being able to put my awake children in bed know they will fall asleep and sleep well without it being hours of process. (granted like all other things in life they will test you on this from time to time just to make sure the rules still apply)

It might help to try 'cheater naps', where you can help him fall asleep somewhere other than his crib. Car, stroller, car seat on the dryer, anywhere you can think of. As soon as he shows any sign of being tired you can try one of those. If that helps and he starts falling asleep for a week or so then try his crib again. I don't think he's quite old enough for self-soothing intervention on your part (such as crying it out) but in another month or so you should be able to try something like that. Ask your pediatrician first. From 0-6 months, he should be getting between 14 and 16.5 hours of sleep per day, but it sounds like you're well aware that he's not getting enough! There's a "Sleep Medicine and Research Center" affiliated with St. John's and St. Luke's located in Chesterfield, MO. Their number is ###-###-####. Mrs. Birkenmeier (RN) is the sleep guru.... I hope this helps you and your little guy!

Your little guy is growing up and they do it so very fast we don't always notice-take some time to play with him in the afternoon-he is ready for some stretching and excerizing on a mat on the floor-maybe some knee bends he should like that and try a drink of water in between (just a little sip) he may want to rest after "your work-out" Also you might want to take him out for a walk-all people need fresh air and if he gets to visit with someone along the way he may be excited and need to rest after that. If you are really stressed-a car ride always did well for us, and we had a colic baby, it takes the stress out to moved around in the "car"-maybe it was similar to swaddling? We had to wrap her up and then lock her up and then drive her around for about 15/20 minutes but it worked every single night! Good luck Mom and he will outgrow this and move on to something else very soon-so enjoy for now. Make sure you give him lots of touch-this is good for both of you and when he is older you can't always cathc him. Rub downs with lotion or since its summer get a small swimming pool (yeah its for you) and hold him with you for an afternoon swim. They really like that and they know it's not bath time but play time. Enjoy and don't worry all kids do stuff we aren't prepared for...

Some of my advice is similar to others, but I think you are right, he definitely needs more sleep during the day. You can look at this as a transition time that he is going through--he is changing as he grows and hasn't gotten the new routine down just yet.

Make sure you notice his first signs of sleepiness. If you try putting him down when he is overtired, he may be more likely to fight it. Several times throughout the day (about every 2 hours maybe or less, is when a baby that old usually gets tired) start a nap time routine. This could be a shortened version of his bed time routine. I think the main thing is to do this before he gets really tired.

I also agree with another responder that swaddling may be a good idea. Even if didn't used to like it, it's worth another try.

A white noise machine can also be helpful, and be a signal to him that it's time to sleep.

Even if he starts to take better naps during the day, I would not change his bed time or make it later. He would still be needing that amount of sleep at night even if he had better naps.
Best wishes!

Sleep often goes crazy around 3-4 months. Personally, I attribute it to the end of the "fourth trimester" (Dr. Harvey Karp, Happiest Baby on the Block). Also see Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. For both of my sons (2.5 and 6 months), once they got to be that age, no matter what I did, trying to help them to sleep by rocking, etc. backfired on me.

I settled for not feeding to sleep, getting them on a daily routine, putting them down for naps within 1-2 hours of waking, a nap routine (reading, shutting curtains, singing), a dark room, and some crying, checking on them every few minutes. I think checking on them is VERY important, since one time my son cried for about 2 minutes and then started to sound funny. I went in, picked him up (it was dark), and heard a snapping sound. I didn't know what it was, but he sounded like he was in pain, so I felt him all over, and his ring finger had been caught in a loose thread from the bumper. The snapping sound was it breaking as I picked him up. It was tied off about a quarter of the way down. SOO scary. I don't believe in leaving them to cry without checking on them.

Many people don't want to let babies cry at all, but I think that teaching someone to fall asleep alone (since that is what you want, ultimately) is one of the best things you can do for them. It has been shown to last throughout life. Sleeping is a learned process. Good luck!

Call your doctor. The baby is too young to not have naps during the day. Perhaps there is something going on that you don't know about and he isn't sleeping because of it. I'm not trying to scare you, but you need to alert your doctor to this.

J.,
My daughter did the same thing at that age. I think it was around 3 or 4 months old when she would not nap during the day for more than 10-20 minutes. I just gave her every opportunity to sleep when she gave the tired signs. I would lay her down just like we were going to sleep at night. If she slept, she slept, and if she didn't, she didn't. In a couple of weeks, she started taking regular naps and still does to this day. I guess it was just a phase. I suggest letting him work out his own schedule and just make sure you are there to help. It worked for me. Good Luck!

Hi J.,
I am a firm believer in babies soothing themselves to sleep (in their bed!), however...I think you're at a point where you just need to get him to sleep period. I don't have a lot of suggestions as to how to do that, but spend a few weeks getting him into a nap routine, then work on the other stuff later. If there's a day where he even takes a short nap, try making his bedtime a little later-maybe around 8 or so. I think he will still wake up at the same time out of habit. Good luck--it may be tough, but I think you're right in that he needs naps. Trust me, it's good for Mom when baby naps, too! As a SAHM of 3, sometimes it's the only peace I have during the day. :)

usually swaddling is more for newborns, but some children do really enjoy it! Even when using a swing or vibrating bouncy seat, I still try to "wrap" the baby. It seems to be especially soothing when the soft blanket cups the side of their face. I also have used a super-soft doll or stuffed animal...tucking it against the side of the baby's face.

On another note, could he be hungry? 3 months is a huge transition age...requiring more feeding to compensate for the additional physical activity of tummy time. Most drs today prefer 4 months for cereal, but both of my sons started cereal at 1 month at the DRS request. (Seriously, there's 9 years between my sons & they had different pediatricians. & both drs asked me to start cereal at 4 weeks. Both boys were big & were taking 6-8 oz at each feeding by 4 weeks. Big boys, big eaters!) Absolutely contrary to the current method of feeding babies, but it worked for my sons & did not harm them! Not a single "tummy" problem for either of them.