Starting Headstart

You could take her to the headstart she will be attending and meet the teacher and see the room. You could take her several times before she starts so she will start to feel comfortable and it will also give you a chance to observe the classroom. Start talking about all the fun she will be having and start to prepare her for the experience.

Hi A.,
Try to relax a little. I realize it's a little unsettling when they change environments, that's the case whether they've been in daycare and been at home. I feel the best thing you can do it talk up headstart like it's the best thing. Tell her how much fun big school will be, all the exciting things she will learn and all the friends she'll make and let her know not everyone will be nice, but we have to love them too. Children tend to adapt and adjust a lot better than we think. And at times, they enjoy a break from us. She'll be fine.

I have twin daughters, and when they started school it was hard for me. They did fine!
The big thing I remember is taking them to school, giving them a hug and telling them to have fun. They left my side without a problem. They are now 10yrs old.

If it will help you, ask and see if the school needs any parent support, in the classroom or on field trips.
Hope this helps.

SAHM with a loving husband and my twin daughters.

Your daughter will feed off your attitude, so make sure you communicate to her that preschool is a great place, not that it's something to be afraid of. If preschool is part-time (in the mornings, a few days a week), she should be okay and be excited about playing with new kids and new toys for a little while. Don't show any anxiety about leaving her, or she'll cry for sure. My daughter was home with me until she started kindergarten. She did great with no adjustments, but for the first week, I'd have to drop her off with smiles and then go to the parking lot and cry. By the time I picked her up, both of us were fine. :)

Our school does a family picture collage for each child so that your child can see your face during the day. There is some study that says if your child has pictures of your face that they will feel better about separation. That will help her! As for mommy- go get a relaxing message!!!!!

I, too, had this same dilemma when my son started school. He had seldom ever been around anyone else, as I am a SAHM myself. I was so nervous that I didn't know if I really wanted to put him in school yet. However, I took him to school and "I" started to cry!! He is my only child and it was very rough on me too. But the teacher took him from me and held him while he cried then assured me that he would be ok. Soon after I left, she said that he did quit crying and began to interact with other children. I don't know that there really is any way to make it easier on either of you. Maybe some of the other Moms will have ideas. I live in the country and have few neighbors. Our son cried almost every morning for about a week (I had to take him to school because he wasn't allowed to ride the bus). Finally, he got to the point that he would tell me that he would be ok and that I should leave now. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU.

Take her to a childcare facility that is open during the summer break. Let her see how the classes go. It will give her a feel for what to expect. It won't be exactly the same as Headstart, but it'll give her something to look at. Take her to the library and check out some books on the first day of school and read about it over the summer too. You really never know how your child will react until the time comes. Just let her know everything will be fine. She's a big girl now and it's time to start school. Of course, my child came home the first day of kindergarten and announced he wouldn't have to go back because he already knew everything they wanted to teach him (how to write his name and how to count to ten.)

Don't show your anxiousness. Drive by a daycare and let her watch the children playing. Don't linger when you drop her off. The ones who cry will do it longer as long as they see Mommy.

Hi A.,

I was in your shoes last year when my daughter entered Preschool for the first time at age 4. She was also used to being with me a lot but she adjusted well. I was nervous also and it's normal for you to be. If she doesn't get anxious when you leave her with family or friends, then I wouldn't worry. It's a new experience for her as well, but know that she will adjust and be fine.

Peace, N.

She is going to pick up on your anxiety, you need to be calm and reassuring when talking about school . . .the friends she will make . . . the fun she will have . . . how nice teachers are . . . etc...

Is there a story time at your local library? or somewhere that she can practice being in a group situation while you remain in the back of the room? Read books about getting ready for school, pick out a cool lunch box and nap map, help her get excited about the idea.

My little girl starts kindergarden in the fall. She has never been away from me either. Im also a nervous wreck. Although my situation is alittle different I think my babygirl will do just fine. I can see her just walking in all by herself. Its me who has the problem. I really dont want her to go. Its only 8hrs a day but Im dreading it so bad. So if you find a way to get past it let me know too.

Most schools have a pre-registration day during the summer for the kids and parents to come and get a packet of info and some school type materials. It is usually something like "Breakfast with Mom" and last maybe 2 hours. It is a meet and greet for you, the child, and the other children and parents. If this is done, go to that, you will more than likely stay with her during that time. If that is not done in your area, make arangements with the school and the teacher she will have if possible to visit the school and walk her through the halls, room, bathroom, lunch facilities if it is all day and play areas. Talk it up, all the other posted advice about books, etc. is quite good. They are right, it will probably be harder on you than her. Think about her clothing also, easy to pull up for bathroom time, also easy wash (they should paint a lot) and definitely comfortable. Some schools if it is connected to a public school require uniforms, find out before you purchase. Look at their schedule and visit. There should be group time, quiet time, music time, play time, outside time. And it should be fun, this is introduction to fun learning. And yes, some do cry all day. Some even go home with mom early but that is a bad habit to begin and even harder.You did not state your reason for sending her now, and it may be time for her to go. BUT actually, she does not HAVE to go according to academic requirements, and yes I feel the darts coming my way for that statement.States vary on their requirements. Where I live children are not required to attend any schooling until they enter 1st grade. Preschool and kindergarten do have their place, I taught both. BUT this is your decision and you may have reason to send her at this age and she does need to interact with others. Since she is an active preschooler this may be the best place for her. It is your decision. And as others mentioned there are 1/2 day preschools, Moms day out, etc. available in some areas. As her mother, I know you will find the best answer for you and your daughter. God Bless.

See if any of the local churches have a moms day out program where you can take her once or twice a week for a few hours just to get used to the separation.

Is there a mother's day out program in your town you can enroll her in? That would be a day or two a week at your descresion and probably an easy way to introduce the idea of school.

Start by having someone else (i.e. relatives with kids, anyone you trust) take your daughter for a couple of hours and see how it goes. It will be an adjustment for both of you but seperation anxiety is normal. She will eventually adjust. It may take some time. Then again, she may be so outgoing and love it so much that there isn't any problems. Don't stress over it too much b/c until it comes you won't know how she is going to react.

I had the same apprhension when my son started preschool this past August at 27 months old. He had never been in daycare and his only babysitters were my parents. The first day was EXTREMELY hard for both of us. He cried most of the day and was so distraught. Thankfully he did better the next day, and even better the day after that. By the end of the second week, he was ASKING to go to school. Initially he only went 3 days a week from 8-2:45. After Christmas I put him in full- time and he LOVES it. He spends an hour everday talking about his teachers and friends at school. It will probably be hard at first, but children usually adjust better than we think they will. Good luck!

As a director of a preschool and a mother of 4, I can say the best thing is for you to trust your childs teacher and drop her off and leave. I know that it will probably be harder on you than your child, but you will be surprised to know that they may cry for a few minutes, but then they stop. This may continue for a few days, but then one day, no crying at all - by you or your daughter! Good Luck!

My son is to start a three day program in August for the first time (he doesn't turn 4 until March) I decided to give him some experience by taking him to some local Vacation Bible Schools in our home town. One is in June and the other is in July. I thought by doing this he could gain some experience being without mom, since he has neither been in daycare or away from me that much. I'm helping out at the 1st VBS in a separate class which allows me to see how he is reacting. The VBS in July he will more than likely attend it on his own. Every morning so far he has been up and ready to go to "school" I'm sure he will be more than ready in August.

About me:
I am a 41 year old mother of 2. Lauren is 6 and Emma Grace is 3.

Both of my girls have been in a Christian Childcare/Preschool setting because I work as a school teacher. I have the advantage of good hours, great holidays, and summer break. However,starting school is hard for both mother and child. This especially hard when you've been together for an entire life.

My suggestion is to locate a mother's day out in a local church or daycare. This short time period - usually 3 or 4 hours will show your daughter that mommy does return. She probably will cry. Prepare for that. Talk about being a big girl and going to school, making friends, and learning fun things. She will learn after a few days that you always come pick her up and she will have fun during the day. As hard as it will be try not to cry in front of her. Be brave and strong. When my oldest started daycare/preschool at 2 it was hard. I had to leave quickly after hugs and kisses and for the first day or two I would come by and just look in to check on her. She did whine for the first 2 weeks when she was going to school but it got less each day.

Good luck! Maybe you will have an exceptionally emotionally strong child and the separation will be easy.

She may surprise you! I worked in an all-day preschool setting this past year and I had one child that cried every day, through the whole year (and one of the parents worked at the school). Then there are the sparadic criers. My advice is to take a tour of the facility and meet the teachers and tell them of your concerns, too. I had a parent that worked her way from half days to full days in just a few weeks because her daughter had difficulty in such a drastic new setting. Others bring them in crying, hand them over to us, say their goodbyes, and walk out. The crying typically subsided within 5 minutes. You might find some books about going to school and read them with her and talk to her about the exciting new things she's going to be doing when August comes. If you're a church-goer, you might try relating bible class to school, too. I hope some of this helped and that your daughter does just fine.

well i don't know what i can add other than my experience. none of my kids have been to a regular babysitter or daycare. my daughter just graduated kindergarten and loved it. but that wasn't always the case. we went in for orientation, which was only an hour or so and i never left her. she thought it was fun. the first day the parents had to come in with the kids to listen to the school rules and what not. then it was almost time for the parents to go and my daughter started to get bored and asked if we could go. i explained to her that when it is school time she stays to learn things at school. she started to tear up and so did i. it didn't help that i was pregnant at the time. i looked around and i was the only parent tearful in the whole class. i was astonished. i soon realized that half o fthe parents were teachers in the school and the other half had already had their kids in preschool or in headstart. one of the teachers/moms came up to her and introduced herself as such and such's mom and that she would be in the building and that if she needed any help to talk to her. i was also lucky, my husbands aunt worked at the school too and i asked her to check in on her. it took my daughter a few weeks to get used to the idea (mornings were terrible) but she grew to love school and i had reports from several people that she was fine as soon as she got to school. she is looking forward to 1st grade and i think that she'll have to get used to the new teacher, but she'll do fine.
my advice to you is to try and let your little one get used to someone she'll see everyday. if you can meet with some of the teachers there or make a play date with some of the other kids and parents it may help her get familiar with the other things easier. hope it helps
C.

no no she wont be that child she probably will be one of many of those children, it will pass maybe 2 weeks and she may not cry at all. just talk to her about it all the time. tell her she is going to be at big girl school and how exciting it will be for her. she will make new friends and cool arts and crafts she will be excited.. and if she does cry just tell her see the clock when this hand gets here to this number mommy will be back and never tell her you are doing anything fun you two do together while she is at school. the good thing is she wont be the only new one at school. just try to avoid showing her any of your anxiety she will pick up on it and get sad. try to keep it a fun thing for her to look froward to. good luck and God bless. and to keep you anxiety down do something for you while she is at school even if it is just a bubble bath.. also head starts love it when us moms volunteer. and once you see that she can go on her own you can do that..

Hi,
K just finished the 3yr. program at our local Head Start. Check the teachers credentials. If they have education in Early Childhood Development they are going to know how to handle this. K's teachers had 2 Autistic children, 1 non-potty trained, and 2 that cried all day the first month of school. They have tons of experience, they will be able to handle it. They also have several other people to help them, the Director, the other teachers and staff, etc.... I volunteered at the school so I know first hand that they can handle this.

Be firm when you drop her off, if she cries just tell her you'll be back after school to get her and you love her, then go. With all my years of Child Care experience it is the parents who won't leave that make the situation harder. The kids stopped crying within minutes if not seconds after the parent was out of sight. The parents who hang on staying and trying to comfort their child usually made the whole thing so much harder and it went on and on and on. When you are there they are focused on you, when you leave they focus on something else. Toys, breakfast, friends, there is so much she'll be doing.

Hope she loves it and never cries....

I had one that was like that with daycare at first, but then she found friends and really enjoyed going. You could start with "babysitter" time to get her use to being away from you and home. As the day gets closer, explain to her about preschool and all the excitement and fun she'll have meeting new friends. If she starts to act up anyway, try not to drag it out - she'll only get more upset. Try to be as upbeat and happy about the prospect, or she'll sense your unease. Good luck :}

A.,

Gosh you have lots of responses! Since Azlyn hasn't even been at daycare before. I would probably stay and help out at head-start if you could for a few days or even part of the day. This way she would get used to the class with you there and it wouldn't shock her to you just leaving her somewhere she is not used to. At least until she gets used to her daily routine there. Many children have been to daycare before so they are used to being away from their moms. Good luck and I'm sure she will adjust and love being with the other children!

Start taking her early for a few hours a day so she get used it. Give her a week then it won't be a shock for her or you when she goes all day. Take those half days to get prepared or transition back into work. I've been there. I have two in daycare. I started crying about sending mine to daycare the day I found out I was pregnant. It was hard at first but now, I can see the plus side. My oldest is great with other kids and he loves it. Daycare also helped in ways I had never imagined. He plays hard and is ready for bed when the time come. He sleeps from 7:30 pm to 7:30 am. Daycare also helped my oldest transition to solids. He refused to eat it at home but they got him eating. It was probably peer pressure. Your daughter is older so it will be different but I still think you will find some good things about. Finally, make sure you love the daycare and her teacher.