Starting over on New Family.

okay before you decide to change your life forever there are a few things you need to think about. A) can your son handle having a new family, yes he will be jealous but can he also welcome a baby? B) Can this man handle dealing with the challenges of starting this new life? You sound like a great mom and being a single mom there is a strong bond with your kids. You should sit down with him he is old enough to talk to about stuff like this. Ask him what he thinks, about the guy, about siblings, about changing your lives. It is very difficult to shed the single mom persona and let someone actually help you. Maybe he will just be glad to see you happy and relaxed and finally have the life you both should. You should'nt be "terrified" starting over and having a second family is just another adventure for you and your son. I am sure you will handle it with the strength and skill you have handled the last 10 years of his life.
Good luck

My biological parents are still married, and they just had their second child 23 months ago! My little sister was born 9 days after I got married, and only 7 months before my daughter was born! My parents didn't have a choice of starting over! When I was 4 my mom had a miscarriage, and her doctor told her that after having toxemia when I was born, and that her uterus got tilted from having me, that she would not be able to carry a baby full term, so to just enjoy me, and that's it! Well, two months and a week before my 20th birthday, my little sister was born! Can you imagine not thinking you could get pregnant again, and then 20 years later...TA DA! My parents were in shock for a long time, but they absolutely adore her and love her! I don't think any of us can imagine life any different, never thought it would be this way, but wouldn't change it now! I hope this helps you figure things out! Good luck! Also, if you want any other information, feel free to send me a message, and I will be more than happy to reply! Again, good luck!

Dear J.,

I thought i was ready something form my past! I can totally relate to your situation.

When I was 30, I had my first child (she is now 23.) Her father was not around after 2 years of her life. Even when she was a teen and visited him and his family, no bonds were made.
So, I had her all to myself, with only $60.00 child support each month (which started when she was 7.

Then, I met my current husband. Who really did not want to get married, (because of friends and family who had gone through bad marriages, he thought he would be in that situation too someday.) Also, he did not want to have children, however, when I mentioned at the age of 36 that i was going to have a tubal ligation, he jumped in and said not to. (I knew then that he cared.)

I think what made me decide he was the one for me and my daughter, was that he would go to church with me. (and to this day he still does.) This is very important I think, because if a man loves God, he will love and cherish you. I am not saying Christian marriages don't have there ups and downs, but I have found that it is not enough to invite God to the wedding, or just ask God to bless a marriage, and not invite him to be part of the marriage.

I did live with my husband before we were married, until our Pastor asked us the question if we thought we were doing the right thing...if we thought that our living togther was approved by God. It convivted us to do the right thing and 6 months later, when I was 39 1/2 we had our first child together.

Now we have a daughter who is 14 (she was born when I was almost 41. Our son is 16, and our oldest is 23 with two of her own. All of my chhildren are born-again.
So, I wish all the best that God has to offer you and your son. I stand on Gods' promise. He said... "He knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper and not harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future"...Just trust in Him.

Christmas Blessings to you.

Love,
C.

Hi J., I can relate to your story and want to share a little of my own...I was married at 19 my beautiful daughter born 9 months later. I wasnt in love but married anyway. the one blessing was my daughter. I divorced and raised my child alone for 15 years she was 5 when we divorced. when I was 40 I gave myself to the Lord.then the blessings happened, first the lord gave me the strength to end a long going sick relationship I had been in for years (which by the way was my first love when I was 15 years old we reconnected and we were planning on getting married)but I ended the relationship he left town and I started going to Church my oldest daughter also started going with her baby we all three got water babtized together truly something i never dreamed would happen. And then the Lord gave me my husband a man I had known for over 20 years A god fearing loving man . we went to church together prayed together which I can say is the best feeling I have ever had knowing this man loved me enough to be there while I went on my life journey with the Lord. we were blessed with a baby when I was 42 my husband was 45 I had two granddaughters that were older then my new baby. she is 5 now and is a special needs child of God. I now am a stay at home mom first time in my life. I love my husband more now than when we first married if that is possiable . there is 22 years between my two daughters.my path has turned in a direction I would never have guessed and I am so thank-ful for my new life my new family and I am looking forward to whatever the Lord has planned for my second half of this life. God Bless you and your son and go with your heart......I did Vickie

I believe you should be married before having kids as i HAVE done that backwards too. I have been on my own for the last 3/4yrs with a now 3 1/2 & sometimes my daughter who is 5 1/2 yrs old. It is lonely out there being on your own that you learn how to sheild away the thorns, but it is life to take risks. I get no child support for my son either and he is all I have and regret nothing since the other child is from another daddy. (He takes care of her,thank goodness.) I want a strong family someday and I have always wanted more kids but if I dont have that wonderful man standing by me then I wont ever do it again. At least to get a divorce the state will go after the daddy for child support, and if not then the state will pay then for the daddy to pay the state back. You see it is all about having backup just incase this guy does leave, I would suggest getting married first or putting this daddy on the birth certificate so if he does leave then the state can help you out. It is scary having someone say they will / want to help out and they are here to stay, but give him a chance.