Starting School in the Fall

Updated on February 27, 2007
J.C. asks from Mogadore, OH
10 answers

Hello all my fellow mothers~ I have 2 children, a 5yr old daughter, and a 3yr old son. This fall my daughter will be starting school. I am terrified of sending her. Can anyone maybe shed some light on my feelings? I have actually been looking foward to sending her for quite sometime, but now that it's only months away I am all of a sudden having some anxieties about the issue. Has anyone else felt like this? I know that I am not worried about her being away from me, but honestly I am feeling like I don't want to send her at all, and I can't get to the bottom of my feelings.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your wonderul advice. I am going to go to the school, and ask for a tour. I know it will be fine, and I am happy to hear that I am not the only Mother that has a problem with letting their babies go.

J. C.

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M.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

I felt this way too. I did end up sending my daughter to half day kindergarten. I wanted to homeschool, but I have a shared parenting agreement with my ex and he wouldn't let me. Well, this year he was suddenly okay with it. I think he was tired of driving her all the way to the school by my house, about 30 minutes away. We started out doing an online public school, but have transitioned into a form of unschooling. I am offering some guidance. We do read every day. We also do other things, but I let her choose which educational activity to do. She isn't allowed to watch TV or play video games before evening.

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R.S.

answers from Cleveland on

Sending her to school is the start of her independence. Until school they depended on us for everything. Once she goes to school she will have a whole life seperate from you. We mothers have a hard time letting go of these people who we have built our entire lives around. Deep inside we feel like we are losing a piece of ourselves and we know they will just continue to grow further away from us. I had to send mine to first grade this year. Her first year at school all day. It was really hard. I don't know what I am gonna do when my 4 year old goes to school. Last year I vowed that my 4 year old was going to be home schooled so I didn't have to go through that first day with him. It is perfectly natural, we all go through it. Good Luck

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M.

answers from Cleveland on

HI J.!

Even though my son is only 2, I already think about when the day will come when he has to go to school for the first time. I guess I worry about all of the "bad" things that might happen to him. Like someone posted before about getting picked on or not being able to make friends easily. But if you think back on when you were in school, things happen to EVERYBODY. Trust me, I know that it's hard to imagine someone hurting your child's feelings. But it's all a part of growing up and building character. He'll learn alot about other people and how to solve problems between himself and his peers. So there are a lot of positives of sending your son to school. I don't think homeschooling is any sort of solution to your feelings. Stop worrying! The two of you will be fine!!

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S.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Maybe I'm a mean mom, but I was never totally sad when they went to school. I have an 11 yr. old and a 10 year old. I always felt like it was more time for me. Selfish maybe but you spend so much time w/them it's nice to have some time to be able to do something for yourself.

S.

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

If it makes you feel any better I was the same way, i couldn't wait for my son to start school, hey one less kid all day, and he'd have fun and make friends and learn all sorts of new things, great wonderful. and then came the well how does he get from the bus to his classroom, to the bathroom, ok and what about the bus itself, what if someone is mean or what if no one wants to sit with him and as i'm sure you know by now the list goes on and on and on. but not sending your child to school is hardly an option, with everything they need to know today it is harder and harder to homeschool and hey i'm not that mom. so i went to the school and literally sat down with the principal and counselor and had all my fears addressed, there is a teacher and aids there when the kids getoff the bus and the kids all line up in the gym in a certain spot which after a few days even teh little kids can remember, and tehn they are walked to class, there are bathrooms in teh classroom, and they are walked to all other rooms say gym and lunch and recess by a teacher, there are monitors on teh playground and the smaller kids have a different section from the bigger kids, the school is k-6. and i even met teh bus driver and spoke with her about if my son is actually safe on the bus. i flet like a dummy but the staff at teh school was understanding and i'm now the porud mother of a kindergartener that not only is doing very well but i'm even letting him walk with a friend home from teh bus. LoL. i'm also on the pto so i know everything that is going on with him and i keep in touch with his teacher as well. really though find out how the school works and reassure yourself that your child will be safe and i bet you'll feel a lot better, good luck.

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S.B.

answers from Canton on

hi, im S. and i have 4 kids. My daughter is 6 now and in the first grade. But when she first started school i was the same way. But when the day comes it will be ok. i think that i was more afraid to let her go then she was of going. but trust me it will end up being ok. And she really loved it and had a lot of fun.

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J.M.

answers from Dayton on

Hi J. I have been there. It is so sad to see your little one go out into a world that you have no control of. My son started out going to an all day kindergarten. On his first day I got up in the morning my son was already dressed with his shoes and back pack on and I saw how excited he was. Didn't stop me from crying when he went off on the bus to school.
Now he is in 1st grade and I still cry at every school play or parent teacher confrence. I do dread those school delays and cancelations too!! You'll be fine, your just a mother who loves her childern and it's hard when we have to let them go. She will have fun and get to meet lots of friends!

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E.A.

answers from Toledo on

I don't have school-age kids, but I was a elementary teacher before I had my son (now I'm a SAHM). My suggestion is that you contact the school district and ask for your daughter's teacher's name and info. Maybe you could invite the teacher over and get to know them - teachers are generally willing to do this. This might help any anxiety you or your daughter have.

My other advice is that if you are stressing out about this, your daughter will be, because they pick up on stuff soooo easily! She may not know exactly what you are stressed about, but she'll figure out that something's wrong. It might make her not want to go, be clingy, etc. Try for her sake to not be anxious, and realize that your parents probably had the same worries that you do. Kids have been going off to school for years, and parents have been worrying for years, too. It'll all turn out fine. Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

Have you considered homeschooling? Is not as hard as you may think. We LOVE it! And kids are very socialized, as there is lots for them out there!

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C.M.

answers from Cleveland on

My kids have started school now. But my friends and I all had to deal with this anxiety a few years ago and I remember that it is quite upsetting. You might try to figure out whether or not your anxiety is coming from your own school experiences or if there are particular qualities in your child that you are concerned for. Some of my friends choose homeschooling. I found a wonderful catholic school. I do advise trying to keep your anxieties away from your child--I think mine spilled over on my daughter during kindergarten and were not great for her.
Best of Luck.

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