Hi Mommas!
I need some tips for a friend of mine. Her friend just gave birth Sunday to a preemie lil boy at 25 weeks. As you can imagine this is a very stressful situation especially not knowing if he will make it in the next couple of weeks since this seems to be the critical timeline given by the Dr.
My friend wants to send her friend some books so she can read to the baby while he is in the incubator, but wants something else to give. My question is to the moms who might have been in that situation what was something that helped you during this time for your baby? Was there anything a friend gave to you while the baby was in the hospital that was helpful during this critical time? Or any moms that might have a good suggestion?
Thanks and any prayers are of course appreciated.
Thank you all for your suggestions and prayers. I have shared with my friend.
I would read any favorite children's books. Guess How Much I Love You might be good, but maybe too overwhelming at this point.
How is your friend doing moneywise? I have friends who have "2 million dollar" premature twins. Even though they were insured they are still paying off the loans they had to take on for co-pays and deductibles... the twins are about 9 now!
If you can do it and if they need it I would suggest organizing a fundraiser for them and soliciting donations instead of gifts. I am sure gifts are appreciated but seriously, what most families need is money. Unless they are very wealthy that is.
Good luck.
I sent a set of knitting needles, some yarn and a how to knit for dummies book to a gf who was put on bedrest and ultimately had a premie- NICU baby.
She said she found it both comforting and hopeful. There is a hidden promise/ hope for a future when you are making a thing for a person.
Best,
F. B.
if you are close? ask what you can do for the family - make meals - pick up the other child/ren from day care or school.
When I was in the NICU with my boys? I wasn't reading. I was holding them, feeding, etc. at this time - being sooo early? Ask her what she needs/wants.
Most NICU's have a pretty comprehensive program set up - rocking chairs, music, etc. I would ask what she needs!
Prayers to the baby and family!
May God bless Mommy and baby!
This question was asked not too long ago. You might find some good answers in this
Set up a "Go Fund Me" web page for the family to collect cash donations to help with the home/hospital expenses while this family deals with this emergency. The suggestion for house cleaning, cooking, laundry, assisting with their other children is very good, and also extremly needed during this time. If they have a church family, please contact them regarding sending out the "Go Fund Me" info to all members. Most people are very generous of heart during times of need, but don't always have the opportunity to leave their own families to assist with another, so the ability to donate cash is always a good way to offer their help.
I had a 23-week preemie who stayed in the NICU for 6 months. The books are a great idea. We read to our baby everyday. It doesn't matter that they are too young to understand the books. The important thing is that they hear your voice which is familiar and soothing for the preemies. Many times the NICU will also allow you to play music or recordings of your voice if you can't be there to talk/read to the baby. She will also need fairly thick blankets that will cover the incubators. The NICUs sometimes ask for this because it helps block out the harsh light in the room. It would also be helpful if someone the parents trust can offer to stay with the baby for little periods of time in the NICU so that they can get a break because parents are sometimes reluctant to leave there preemies alone during the first few weeks. She will also be encouraged to try to pump breastmilk because it will be easier for the preemie to digest than formula. So perhaps something to keep her stress levels down and occupy her mind when she's pumping so that her milk production is not lessened. Once the baby is stable enough, she will also be encouraged to do kangeroo care (skin on skin contact). When she does that, she will need big shirts that she can open up and put the baby on her bare chest and cover. Hope this helps.
Are they religious at all? I normally don't recommend religion-themed gifts, but here, since the outcome honestly could go either way, some kind of prayer-themed something could be good, since it'd be a source of hope or comfort, depending.
I'd get someone trusted to clean her house for her and cook meals for her family. That would mean the world.
She may not be able to deal with the idea of reading out loud to the baby. I couldn't have if my first born had come that early (I was in preterm labor at 24 weeks and had to stay in bed until he was born right at 37 weeks). However, the books will be something she can keep later for him.
Something else to consider is buying breastmilk supplies for freezing breastmilk if she is planning on pumping. Her milk will come in and the hospital will provide her with the pump. There will most likely be extra.
She will also need tiny clothes for this baby - perhaps someone can research where to get preemie clothes for when baby can go home.
So sorry for your friend. I know that this is hard.
Books are a great idea - I read to my daughter for hours in the hospital (she went back in at 5 days and wasn't in NICU though). It kept me from losing my mind since I couldn't always hold her. For the friend, if your hospital has gift cards for cafeteria, coffee shop, vending machines, gift shop or parking - those were a huge help. Praying!
