Sudden Dramatic Fears - 3 Year Old Girl

mine went thru this too so I wouldnt be too worried. its not fun for moms but is normal to some degree.

My daughter is also 3 and is also just become "afraid" to go in the pool, she will go in the hot tub but makes sure to keep her head above water. I'm thinking it's a phase.... And that she either thinks it's too cold or doesn't want to go under water...or maybe both. She's also been acting different in other ways too. Sorry no real advice just apathy.... I just keep encouraging her to try the pool 

Several things going on at one time.
Her noise sensitivity, fear of pool/swimming...and her age-stage developmentally.

At this age of 3, developmentally, kids develop "fears." About anything. It is developmental based. We cannot 'extinguish' their imaginations.. just calmly explain things to them, but not force it to go away.
These 'fears' often will not make sense to us, because we are adults... and a 3 year olds fears... are often just because.

Next, my Daughter, since birth, is noise sensitive. She is now 7, and has grown out of it mostly.... but she can "tolerate" it better, now. We just KNOW that about her, and how she is... and its fine. We "allow" her to tell us, when something/a noise, is too disruptive. Its fine. She KNOWS herself, which is good. We can't make her not that way. But it does not handicap her nor cause a problem... nor in school. We simply talk with her about it, not making her feel "wrong" about it... and if she tells us for example that the TV is too loud, we lower the volume. Her ears are sensitive... mine are too. My daughter is also very aware of "vibes" in her environment and about people... so we see that as a "strength" and not a bad thing. She is bright and has good instincts. Better than most kids. So we value that in her... despite being sensory sensitive to sounds/noises etc.

As for swimming/pools/water... almost all kids go through a phase of fearing it. You either make the kid do it anyway... or you kick back about it. Pick your battles. They grow out of it.
Personally, I do not force my kids into the water/pool if they are fearful... but we go at their pace.

Keep in mind, that 'fears' in children, start at about this age, developmentally. And at older ages too, 4, 5, 6, etc. It is normal... night time fears, fears of night time or the dark, fears of noises in the night, fears of bugs, etc.
My Husband would take my kids out in the yard at night, with a flashlight and poke around... making them comforted about it... or investigating what they are fearful about.... researching topics online and explaining it to them in simple terms. And we let them have a flashlight in bed. Lots of creative ways to help comfort them.
But again, at this age and older, they have vivid imaginations. No matter if they watch tv or not. It is developmental.

all the best,
Susan

It sounds very familiar! My daughter was swimming independently at 2 1/2 years old and then just after turning 3, she wouldn't even take a bath or wash her hair! That lasted for about a month. I tried being creative about bathing and very patient about swimming. Then one day, she just started to put her head under and swim. We never did discover the underlying fear but she did get through it.

Hi S.-

This is very common for 3 year olds. Their imagination is becoming very active and they are noticing things so much more lately. She may have seen a cartoon dealing with swimming that scared her a little or the sounds of the pool underwater may scare her now.

The best thing you can do at this time is support her, do not force her to face her fear (like throwing her in the pool), and encourace "baby steps" towards over coming her fears.

Good Luck.

R. Magby

These are all wonderful posts. I have been teaching swimming for 10 years and have encountered many students with a variety of fears. I will say however that these fears have not always be related to the water. It is possible that whatever is creating anxiety for your child may be totally unrelated to the water. It is possible that the safety that she feels from you holding her is what she is looking for.

To reiterate what the other posts mentioned, reassure her and remain calm while comforting her. It is possible that this temperament may only last a short while. If it persists however you may want to look into the issue further to see what other sources it may be stemming from.

-J. Golde

With my kids, especially the more sensitive ones, they sometimes developed fears as they got older because they had learned enough to be able to imagine something going wrong. Small children tend to take for granted the idea that they're safe. As kids get older, especially if they're bright and/or sensitive, they start being able to imagine something bad happening, even in instances that never worried them before. My oldest daughter loved Big Thunder Mountain when she was small, but by the time she was about 8, even little kiddie fair rides could have her in tears - and not from actually riding them, just from being asked if she wanted to ride them! At 23, she just decided to give Big Thunder Mountain a try again.

I've found that saying very common things like, "There's nothing to be afraid of" makes these kids more frightened. They feel misunderstood then, and also worry that the adults might not be aware of danger. Try pointing out skills or strengths, instead. "Wow, that noise was really loud, but you were brave," or, "Since you're such a strong and careful swimmer, you can swim in the big pool, too." Don't push her too hard - she'll become more afraid - but encourage her to stretch to the edge of what's comfortable. Then, encourage her to go beyond what's comfortable, starting with a single second at a time. Don't tease her about her fears, or let others tease her - sensitive kids cannot shrug that stuff off the way others can. Eventually her comfort zone will expand.

New and sudden fears in toddlers are extremely common. And baffling. if you google "toddler fears" you'll get lots of helpful websites and strategies for helping your child deal with her fear. Here are a couple of good ones:

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/toddler/toddlerquicktips/f...

http://www.babycenter.com/0_easing-your-toddlers-fears_##...

I'm wondering if it's the age. I have a little girl who will be 3 in less than 2 weeks. About a month ago we had a thunderstorm which was loud and knocked out our power. She was terrified. Since then, she has become terrified any time she thinks it's raining, not just the fear of thunder, just the fact that it's raining. She's incredibly sensitive to sounds and jumps at the sound of the water from the sprinklers hitting the windows, a loud vehicle (car, truck, motorcycle). She panics if she hears an airplane overhead. This normally all occurs while she's inside the house. However, today she heard and saw a helicopter fly over us and she was thrilled. We tried taking her out on the covered back porch tonight while it was raining and she would have none of it. There was no thunder, no lightening, just rain. Just getting her to sleep in her room in the days and weeks after that thunderstorm was a challenge. Now, she'll sleep in her room with the light on, but I had to hold her 'til she fell asleep tonight (during the rain). I'm at a loss, too. I wish I had some advice to offer you. I will say that she is my 4th child and my 3rd child suddenly developed a fear of water around the age of 1. We eventually eased her back into the water, one bath at a time, and eventually back into the pool. Good luck!

My kids have all done swimming since they were babies. My eldest, especially, used to have whole periods of time when he was suddenly very frightened in the water. Our instrcutor says that is is quite normal and they have periods like that, which are then followerd by a development spurt. He says to go with them, and if all they want is to be held- go for it!