Any advice on this one? It took me 3 hrs to get her to go to sleep last night, she woke up early saying she hears thunder, would not nap because she is afraid of thunder. I have a 6 mos old I am taking care of as well, and when my DH is not home it makes nap time and night time impossible.
We do have white noise in her room. I told her there is no thunder, and even if there is there is nothing to be afraid of. We look out the window and see no rain, no clouds, no thunder, etc.
I give her snacks that have 'special powers' so she will not be afraid.....
I would love some suggestions!
My oldest was the same way. She used to think thunder was 'alligators hiding in the trees".....what a scary little thought huh?
It simply doesn't work to tell a child there's no need to be afraid (or an adult, for that matter). They simply won't believe you, and you may become less trustworthy in their eyes.
There are all sorts of things you could try to begin desensitizing her, including stories and movies with storms in them, role-playing games with her 'making thunder.' You can teach her breathing exercises to help her stay calmer during storms, or even during imagined thunder.
But first she needs to know that you recognize and accept her fear, so she has "permission" to begin exploring its size and shape. Start with calm statements like, "Yes, sweetie, you are afraid of that noise, and you think you hear it right now. I understand." Or, "It's okay to feel afraid. Do you know that lots of little children are afraid of thunder?"
Encourage her to tell you why she's afraid (don't insist, because it's really hard for many kids to explain why). Ask her what she thinks the thunder means, or what it could do to hurt people. But often just having understanding/permission to be afraid gives kids a solid place to stand so they can take a closer look at the fear. Otherwise, it's just an invisible boogieman that can strike in any moment from any direction.
I became terribly afraid of bees when I was about 7, and it took years to educate myself out of it. Meanwhile, well-meaning adults and older kids kept telling me there was nothing to be afraid of. They SO did not help, that just left me feeling alone and foolish. But I started learning about bees, and eventually watching them, and my the more I learned, the less fear I felt.
My girl is slightly older and had the same reaction to thunder just after he turned three. For seemingly no reason started acting afraid - I think there was a subtle signal she got from her Dad, my husband, who said something offhanded one day when a storm was coming. ANyway, suddenly she was terrified of thunder!! We did acknowledge her fear, but instead of dwelling on it we started all really getting excited when a storm was coming. If there was thunder, we'd make a big show out of listening for it by the window and watching for lightening and counting the time between the lightening and thunder. We made sure eVERYONE involved in her care did this - the grandparents and the nanny etc. She started easing up on it. We also made jokes about other things that sound like thunder and are also harmless - like she rides her three wheel scooter around the house and the sound it makes on the wood floors is like thunder. She loves that!
ANyway, probably related to none of that and due solely to the passage of time, now that she's almost 4 she is really fine with it. She still shows concern - if I am tucking her in and her Daddy said something about a storm coming she'll be concerned but I assure her I will be right here if she needs me.
ANyway, good luck! I know how tough it is.
REad her some books about storms, to desensitize her and to allow her to start looking at storms differently.
Storm is Coming by H. Tekavec the animals are afraid because the farmer says Storm is coming! but they dont know what a storm is and they are happy that the wind, lightning and thunder will chase away the "storm"
Thunder Cake by P. Polacco Grandma makes Thunder Cake to help girl get over her fear of thunder
Thunder-Boomer by S, Crum
Winnnie the Pooh and the Storm that Sparkled Pooh and piglet think a storm is coming and are nervously preparing but it turns out to be beautiful Fireworks
I buy my books used at Amazon or Better World Books or check out your library
Was she hearing fireworks over the last few days? Large trucks?
Maybe you can save the weather page from the newspaper that shows pictures of sunny skies or just a few clouds, but no rain/thunder??
See if you can find a book from the children's library that deals with these issues. When we were kids, they told us the clouds were bowling up there!
Henny Penny the sky is falling! That's how it is around my house w/our 7 yr old who is petrified of the thunder. She goes into hysterics and as much as I try to calm her, she just gets worse & worse w/each storm. Today she was invited over to a friends' house for a playdate and the mom was kidding around in her text msg about sending her after the thunderstorm. She was pretty nervous about going, but since kindergarten she has carried a little luv bunny figurine my mom had given me w/her either in her pants pocket or backpack and she touches it whenever she gets nervous. We have tried to read books w/her, told her it's my mom up in heaven bowling, done the whole hitting the aluminum foil thing to make the sound of thunder & nothing has worked. I agree w/all of the posts that it is a fear that just has to be soothed, but not pushed over & given time to gotten past. Best of luck to you.
My 6 year old is also afraid of thunder. She did, however, have some momentary braveness when she took it upon herself to be the one to comfort our cat, who does not like loud noises. Perhaps there is someone or something that your daughter would take pride in comforting.
I might have to try your 'special power snack' idea. :-)
Good luck,
J.
I tell my little one thunder happens when clouds crash into each other. He is a boy who likes crashing and bumping cars etc. so he thinks this is fun. Maybe you can try putting a positive spin on thunder too in a way your daughter will like.
It is important to validate her feelings, and not dismiss it. It may help to tell her it is OK to be a little afraid, but it will pass. Instead of telling her there is no thunder, you can try saying "there is no thunder now but maybe you are afraid there will be thunder". It is in her head, so it is real to her. Seeing no rain/clouds outside does not help, because she knows a storm may come when she is sleeping so there WILL be thunder.
Also ask her what will help her feel better when she is afraid, until the thunder goes away. She may come up with an original idea (hopefully something simple as hugging her favorite stuffed animal, or having the reassurance that she can come to you if she is afraid).
i always loved storms when i was little, and i tribute that to my mom. I did the same things with my kids. When there was a storm when they were little, we'd lay in bed in the dark and marvel at it. The lightning was awesome!! We'd tell stories about it. Try that it may work.
Oh, man! My son did the SAME thing at about the same age. I finally broke down and used earplugs, and yes, any little noise was thunder, too! I think he got sick of wearing earplugs during storms(not my intent, but I'll take it!) and finally, because he is nebby, decided to grow out of it. He did just grow completely out of it too. It was bad like you're describing for a few months, and he disliked thunder for about a year, but it WILL pass..
