Hi,
I am needing suggestions for getting my son to bed at a decent hour. I am having a hard time getting him to go to sleep at night he is up some nights till 11-11:30 and it's wearing me out, and then he wakes up grumpy!! No fun for anyone. I have tried everything I can think of from no TV in the evenings during the week, he takes his bath everynight we lay in his bed read books. I have tried warm milk and honey. I don't know really what else to do. He continues to get out of his bed and this goes on for hours!! He doesnt' even appear to be sleepy but I know he needs to go to bed and get his rest. He's not hyper or anything he just wants to keep on going!! If and when he takes a nap at the sitters it's 30-45 at the most. So he's not sleeping to much to where it would keep him awake at night. Any suggestions will be helpful!! Thank you advance for your time!!
I pinned this a while back... might help.
http://angieasplund.blogspot.com/2011/04/bedtime-passes.html
My DD is also 3.5. I suggest a routine and shaving a little time off the bedtime til you have him in bed at a better hour. When DD doesn't want to go to bed I tell her she doesn't have to sleep, but she needs to stay in her bed and be quiet. She's usually out in 10 minutes. If he gets up, simply put him back, no talking, no cajoling. If you say anything at all, say, "It's bedtime." No games.
The flip side is wake him up at the same time. Resist the urge to let him sleep in so that he's up at 9:30 and not sleepy til very late.
My DD has completely dropped naps. They say a good nap begets a good night, but that hasn't held true for her. Having a routine has really helped DD. Bath, books, bed. We do books on the couch, she gives her hugs and good nights to everybody and then it's off to be tucked in. Maybe take the book routine out of the bed and see if that helps. Bed for quiet time only. Don't wait for him to be tired. Determine a time and put him in his bed at that time. I used to wait for DD to be tired and I realized that was a mistake. She does fine once she's in her bed.
Hang in there.
I have two boys who are 9 and 6. They are getting better, but they sometimes do not want to go to sleep on their own. One thing you could try, is to continue with your routine that you do...bath, books etc but more around a decent time(8ish). Try including some white noise...like a fan or humidifier and then sit on the floor in his room or in the hallway, but do not engage in conversation. If he gets out of bed..put him right back in and say "it is bedtime".... the first time he gets out. Then next time do not say a word just put him back in bed. It may take a little while the first night, but he will eventually fall asleep and realize he does not have a choice. Every night should get less and less. Then transition farther away from his room. I have seen this technique on the "Supernanny" so many times. Basically, it is sending them the message that it is bedtime and safe for them to fall asleep. I think her main suggestion with this approach is to have minimal contact..no eye contact, no coversation, just helping them into bed each time they get out . Good Luck!!!
When he wakes up grouchy, tell him it is because he's not getting enough sleep. When it's time to go to bed, tell him that it's time to sleep even if he doesn't want to. Set a bedtime, tell him what it is, and then stick with it. Do not EVER do anything even remotely fun with him after bedtime. At 3.5 kids need about 10-11 hours of total sleep and daytime naps are usually winding down. My kids (3.5 yo daughter, 6.5 yo son) both start for bed at 7:15 (pick up toys, shower, pjs, teeth brushed, stories, prayer, lights out) and are in their rooms (asleep most of the time) by 8:15 every night. Some nights they stay awake for a little while, but most of the time if that happens they just lay their using their imaginations. They get up between 6:15 and 7:00 every morning. Sometimes I even have to wake them at 7 -- that's when they have to be up so we can get ready for school.
I have told them that after bedtime is ME time -- that I stop being "mom" for a couple of hours and get to relax. They understand that and they also know that I will come if it's really important. At 3.5, your son is old enough to understand that he doesn't rule the roost and that when you say bedtime, you mean bedtime.
When my son was having a hard time at that age I would just calmly, and without saying anything, take him back to his room, tuck him in, and leave. I told him beforehand that was what was going to happen if he got up. I think he was testing me a few of those times. I saved my frustration for after I left his room and walked down the stairs, where I would silently scream "GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!!!"
Good luck to you. I think these nighttime issues are some of the hardest because it comes at the end of the day when our patience supply is already depleted.
I would tell him ahead of time when it bedtime and give him time to wind down without active TV, etc. Then bath, read to him quietly maybe in his bedroom if possible to sit on his bed or in the room, turn out the lights and maybe talk for a second and tell him you love him. I always prayed with our kids, then tell him you're leaving and he is not to get out of bed. Tell him if he can't sleep to think about the book or what he will do tomorrow or something but that he is to stay in bed. Then enforce that. He will learn quickly. Just be firm.
You have gotten some great suggestions already. I just wanted to add one thing. We have a sound machine in our kid's bedrooms. We turn them on at night and if they don't feel like they are tired I encourage them to focus on that sound. They are usually out within 10 min or so.
Good luck!
I was going through the same thing with my 3 year old and now I make sure he wakes up no later than 7:30am takes a nap from 1-3pm no later than 3pm but if your son is already taking his nap no later than 3pm than he probably is just not tired. I have to play something physical with my son at night to poop him out like army soldiers we run around the house hiding and shooting at each other : )
Good Luck
My neighbor's kids did this after age 3, when naps were dropped. Even if her kid slept 10 minutes on the way to the grocery store, normal bedtime was ruined. She'd be up until 10 or 11 pm.
Valerian Super Calm
http://www.amazon.com/Herbs-Kids-Valerian-Super-Ounce/dp/...
Also, hyper activity can be caused by lack of magnesium. Kids will be extremely tired but somehow wind themselves up like a top spinning out of control. Then they are grouchy and hyperactive... ugh.
Hope this helps.
