My son has some problems that really get to me, but he doesn't fit into any of the usual categories for special needs. He has just one or two symptoms each of ADD, OCD, autism, dyslexia, etc. I could really use some support, but I'm afraid that if I joined a special needs support group, others would resent me for my child not being as severe as theirs. I also can't really rely on my friends whose kids have no special needs to understand what I am going through. Does anyone know of an appropriate group?
Look on meetup.com. There should be a meet-up group in your area for parents with special needs kids.
If there is no group in your area you could start one. Meet-up has fees so if you don't want to pay fees, start a facebook group page.
R., you say he has "one or two symptoms each" of various things but have you ever gotten him a detailed evaluation and gotten any official diagnosis (or been told there was no diagnosis and he doesn't have specific things like ADD, OCD)? From your post I can't tell if you are going on what you have been told by a professional or if you are going on your own observations based on things you've read online and in magazines (which love, love, love to print lists like "Signs your child may have OCD!" and scare the hell out of parents).
If you have not had him formally evaluated by a professional (and I do not mean your pediatrician -- you need to get a specialist who does the appropriate tests for these conditions), please do so. He may indeed have a diagnosable condition but not one of the ones you mention.
If you have had him evaluated and were told "No, he's not autistic, not really dyslexic, not ADD, not ODD" -- then get the pediatrician's help to find a specialist or counselor who can work with him on the specific "symptoms" you see. I know you are seeking a moms' support group but first, find your son some form of help. He may not have any diagnosable condition but might need behavioral help so he can learn some new ways of coping with the things you see and interpret as symptoms, which may be things that can be amended with therapy, occupational therapy, etc.
After he's getting help, then seek out a support group for yourself. Once he has someone professional working with him, that professional is going to be your best resource for finding a parents' support group. You're right -- you can't really go to the "parents of OCD kids group" if he's not really OCD but has a few issues that are similar. I really would turn to the professional(s) who help him in order to find support for yourself.
Your pediatrician should be able to help you with that. If your child is eligible for any special day program schools then the other parents will be natural new friends after a while. My oldest daughter had speech delay and some vague nondiagnostic muscle delays but no other diagnosis. She still did a special day program where she was less effected than the other kids in a lot of ways. However many of them spoke better. :) Disabilities come in wide ranges and most often the groups and classes are going to have the whole spectrum and quite a variety of other issues. So the parents are not likely to resist you because your child is less effected then theirs. Parents will welcome and recognize any parent who needs support. Be open and welcoming to their children and they'll be welcoming and open to yours.
I feel your pain. I was in a similar situation. Very lonely place. I can't really help you but wanted you to know you're not alone. Some great ideas already offered though. Best of luck.
I get that you are in a tough spot right now that takes a toll on you emotionally.
Has your child been evaluated and diagnosed by a professional?
Once you know what's going on , the Dr can guide you to the right support area to help you. It could be a support group or family counselor.
Please get advice from your dr so you can find the best source to fit your family and your personal needs.
