Suspect ADD/ADHD in My Husband

Here is the thing, I am ADD my ex is most likely PDD or Asperger. The only diagnosis he has received is ADD but that doesn't explain most of his most annoying traits.

Like your number one, I and most people I know with ADD are some of the most social creatures on earth. Not my ex, he prefers home.

One of the biggest things about my ex is he denies our son's diagnosis. He will not consider it, mention it, it doesn't exist because it is looking in a mirror for him and he refuses to believe he has the same issues. So if Andy is fine, he is fine.

I guess I am saying since they overlap, ADD and PDD, you need to look at where he diverges which is the social issues, that is why I would put my bet on PDD or another autism spectrum disorder.

Could it be a combination of ADHDwith something else like Aspergers? You could try to get him to go to a counselor or doctor to find out for sure. They'll have tests and questionnaires. Even if there's not a label on what's wrong maybe some small steps could help him be more successful. Put a trashcan right next to the sofa so he can't miss it. If you can, set the DVR to keep only 3 episodes of each show at a time. If he's having trouble getting to work on time, ask if his company has a time management class, or see if he has his own ideas of what to change. Find an iphone app that will remind him when it's time to leave, play, go to bed, etc.
Notebooks from high school- maybe he could go through them and combine them into a 3-ring binder to save space and toss any blank pages. Find things he is good at doing with the kids, away from the distractions of the house(going to a park, playing baseball?)

My husband is similar, but luckily his "thing" is saving money. Remembering to turn off the tv and lights saves money. He has a system of which credit card to use for each type of purchase, and has written notes on mine so that I know which one's for restaurants, drugstore, etc. He doesn't like to socialize much. He's tired from having to put on his "polite" personality at work all day. He likes doing things as a family, even if it's just shopping.
(Sorry if my answer sounds choppy too, in the middle of writing it, I realized that I forgot to go pick up my son from school...)

Hubby and I had some major trust issues right after we got married and went to counseling. While we were there it took the therapist about 30 seconds to diagnose him with ADD, she said she had never seen an adult as textbook 'classic ADD' as DH. My point is, like Jo W, DH is the most social person I know. Gets along with everyone. Loves TV, but it's not an addiction. Other than that and the spending (by mutual consent I control the money in our house) your husband sounds like the polar opposite of my DH. My money would be on other disorders causing the issues. He might be ADD, but in my experience it wouldn't drive the behaviors you're seeing.

What you describe sounds more like Asperger's Syndrome than classic ADHD, but I'm not psychiatrist. If he's open to it, suggest that he be evaluated. If not, he's a grown man and obviously functions well enough to have made it to adulthood with a wife and kids, so you can't FORCE him.

It might be helpful for you to read up on adults with those disorders and just start implementing some of the strategies in your house. He may need you to actually say "Honey, I'm not interested in the White Sox right now. You can tell me about this in half an hour." Get him some designated spaces to keep him from driving you crazy with his stuff. He can keep as much junk as he wants in a rubbermaid shed. Sign him up for direct deposit, and put the bills on auto bill pay and then don't worry about it.

Good luck with this.
T.

I agree with everyone else. I do see some of the ADHD things, but I can see Aspie as well. My DH has ADHD, as well as our DD, and he is super social when around ppl. He is impulsive and has his different addictions. His memory is bad, but he's getting better as he's got his own business and is forced to use the "tricks" for remembering and it's working (ie: list of things to do - and not losing it!).

My dad has those hoarding issues (he's got a pillow I made in 7th grade that he won't get rid of), but his are family based. His parents were that way too.

Ur DH may have a combo dx. It's tough I know living with someone neuroatypical, and then to add a kid the same way is really hard. I'm living it. I don't have any words of wisdom...just HUGS!!!

H.

I feel your pain. My husband has ADD and Bipolar II and a few other things that we are waiting on diagnosis for. He is finally going to a psychologist & psychiatrist to manage these things. It's hard to be the spouse and deal with living with someone with these issues. When we received our tax money in January, he had it spent before I even knew it! All of it! Almost 10k. Some on bills, but most on things for himself. It's been months but I'm still pissed about it. He is super impulsive. He also had anger issues and terrible mood swings. Sometimes I too feel like it would just be easier if he was out of the house.

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I know how you feel. Hang in there. *HUGS*

I see only one thing from the list, but I don't think he is ADHD. see his mediacal doctor to be for sure.