Talking to 6-Year Old About Miscarriage...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I suggest looking at the March of Dimes site and seeing if there are some resources there. I suffered a loss and found many wonderful resources from the March of Dimes. I didn't have any other children at the time, so I can't say if they have something for your situation, but it is a thought. Also, children are much more resilient than we give them credit for. I agree that the way to start the conversation is together with your husband and maybe even with your parents there to help comfort her as well. Start off by telling her that you have something sad to tell her...you also want to mention that these things happen, and that it is okay to be sad and think about the baby. Maybe you could plan a craft or something that she could do if she wants to make a memorial or find some closure.....She may be sad and then bounce back quickly or she may need to go through a grieving process. Be prepared with any resources you can find: books, poems, etc.....Again, I'm sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best and pray that your family will find comfort and peace.

I would be very general about the whole subject. Here is another idea to consider...try and not to be too emotional when talking to her about it. I know that is going to be near impossible, but do your best. She will take her cue from you and if you are crying desperately, then she will take it extremely hard as well. Focus on your daughter and let her know that even though you thought you were going to add another to the family, that it isn't going to happen just now. Focus on her feelings and getting her through it. That will also help you. If you are religious, you might add that God decided that He wanted the baby up in Heaven. Maybe even add that the baby was needed to be someone's guardian angel.
I can understand how difficult this time is for you. I too have suffered a miscarriage. It is in no way easy. Condolences and prayers going out for you.

I'm so sorry to hear this, and glad you had support. My daughter is almost 5, and to be honest, if I didn't just tell her, "I was mistaken and there is no baby", and keep talking about it in that way in a positive tone until she "got it", I would keep it very light hearted and say "You know what, babe? The baby isn't coming right now after all, we'll have another one day." And leave out the details. Although, the details probably won't bother her if you don't present it as something for her to be heartbroken about. I'm amazed at how unfazed by things my daughter is when I'm blunt. Just remember, her full comprehension of the gravity of the entire situation is not like adults. Propose it to her in a composed, cheerful way like "guess what babe, we're not having the baby right now. We thought so, but sometimes babies don't come when you think they are, I'm sad too, but it will be OK..."

I am so sorry for your loss.

Blessed Be

I'm sorry that happened to you. This happened to my best friend, and she told her daughter that the baby just couldn't come live with them then, but had to go and live in heaven. They aren't religious, but as I found when my mother died, sometimes this is an easy and nice description for young children. It gives them a "place" in their minds. If hARE religious, then I would definitely go with that. If you absolutely don't want to use something of that nature, you could give her a very abbreviated form of the truth -that sometimes when babies are growing, something happens and they can't finish. It's sad, but maybe in a little while another baby can grow and finish and be her brother or sister.

I am sorry for your loss. We went through 2 losses when my son was just a little older. One thing that helped was, we had bought a stuffed bear for the baby (he had actually picked it out), and he was able to keep that as his own rememberance of the baby. That was over 10 years ago and we still have the bear (he gave it to his baby sister that was born a few years later). Again, I am sorry.
S.

im deeply sorry for your loss.
hope you find the right words.
maybe say the LO wasnt ready for the world and went with angels in heaven?
:) best of luck

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 9 or 10 weeks when my oldest was about 2. He had also been excited & he still remembers it.

When we have talked about it, I have told him that sometimes babies start to grow in mommies tummies, but they only stay for awhile and don't grow to be big babies that can be born and grow to be big kids. I also told him that I don't know why. I told him that when he was 2 and (if he brings it up) I tell him that now.

He tells ME that baby went to live with God and we'll meet her when we die. I don't know what I think of that level of depth for my not usually deep 6 yo, but he did and does understand.

It's a rare conversation though and I suspect he'll forget soon. He's pretty busy with his 2 younger brothers these days....one was adopted about 2 years after the miscarraige and the other was born early this year.

Hugs to you.