Teaching "Stranger Danger"

There is an AWESOME dvd called The Safe Side, that kids love to watch because it is fun but it also does a great job of teaching about stranger danger. My son and all of his cousins watch it on a regular basis because they love it so much!

We are going through the same thing here so i am glad you posted this. I will be getting the DVD recommended for my kids to watch too. We already have a few books that we read to my 3.5 yo son about strangers, but i think the video will be better for him.

Thanks!

Hello! Another book idea - one of my favorites. I bought it on amazon, but ebay works well too: Never Talk to Strangers by Irma Joyce. It is out of print, but there are lots of used copies floating around. My nearly 3 year old loves it! It teaches about strangers through animals. Good luck!

My son's Dad and I go to 'parenting' therapy and our therapist is amazing, she said the best way is to begin to identify people in his life who are 'friends' and 'family'. Those people he is comfortable with, and can see frequently enough to give them labels like 'friend' or 'family'.

For example, my son was recently at the doctor and the nurse offered him stickers but, was hesitant to take them. So, the reponse I was told can be used is 'It's okay to take stickers from Nurse Alma, she's our friend'.

But, then the other day we were out and about and this very nice older lady offered him candy, and he hesistated and my reponse was something like 'Thank you for the offer but we're trying to teach him the difference between strangers and friends' and then I told my son 'This lady is very nice but she isn't a friend and we don't know her, so it's okay to say no thank you.' The woman was very understanding and was happy to hear my response.

I think if you begin to explain it in a way that is not threatening to the child, then they can pick it up and use it as a tool. Creating fear in kids can be counter-productive and then, they get confused by who's okay and who isn't okay. Giving them clear cut boundaries of who's friend and foe, gives them the power to make a decision based on our guidance. I've seen kids in my classrooms who don't talk to me for days because they are afraid that I am a stranger, and other kids who don't know the difference at all...it's tough but, I think talking to our kids is the best way to help them through that kind of situation.

Good Luck.

I really enjoy a video that was made by John Walsh and the creator of Baby Einsteins - I think it is called Safe Side Super Chick or something like that. My kids have watched it over and over and we always keep an ongoing dialogue and role play often.

My kids are 3 and 6, they are in karate together and their Sensei touches on Stranger Awareness often. One of the most important things you can teach your child is to be loud and difficult if someone grabs their arm or asks them to come with them.

The studio we go to offer's a stranger awareness seminar every few months. We've been once and it was great. If you don't mind the drive north a bit, there is another one December 20th @ 2pm in Murrieta. If you want to sign up, give them a call - it is free. Here is their information:
26539 JEFFERSON AVENUE
MURRIETA, CA 92562
###-###-####

There is a wonderful DVD by Julie Eigner-Clark (Creator of Baby Einstein) and John Walsh (host of America's Most Wanted) called The Safe Side. I highly recommend it. Our son started watching it when he was about 3, since he would be starting Preschool. He's now 6 and will watch occassionally. It provides us with time to talk about this very important subject.

It is sad the things that we need to teach our children at such a young age. But, since it's necessary, I'll tell you what I've told my children.
* Adults don't need help from children. If a grown up that you don't know asks you for help, yell no and run away to find a trusted grown up.
* If somebody were to grab you, yell your name and that this is not my mommy/daddy!
* ALWAYS stay "glued to my side" when we're at the grocery store, etc.
I hope this helps! :)

Protecting the Gift by Gavin DeBecker is a great book to read. It gives you ideas and scenarios to discuss with your kids at different ages and how to practice.

D.,

There's some great info here for you. My children are older now and I didn't have to worry about this subject as much as parents today do, but I do have grandchildren the ages of yours and I do worry about them. Teaching "stranger" danger is awesome, but also be aware that many times, child predators are not strangers, they are aquaintances of the family and sometimes even family members that your child may already know and trust. Teaching your child what to look for at this young age is very difficult without scaring him, but is important for him to know he should tell you if ANYONE does something to make him feel unsafe.

To all the other great posters here...Thanks for the DVD idea, The Safe Side. I applaude John Walsh for his continued efforts in keeping our children safe from these predators. I will be purchasing it for my grandchildren, ages 5 and 1.

Best wishes,
T.
www.sharethecause.com/T.

Definitely check out the Safe Side video - it's great! I also read "Protecting the Gift" - it's good but it can freak you out a little bit.

D.,
We are in this stage too.
I talked to some girlfriends with children who are a few years older for their experience and got some great info:
Adults you don't know will NEVER ask a child for help. Example: finding a dog. I was also told to not genderize because your preditor could easily be male or female. I also explain when they stray too far that this is exactly how children get taken from their parents. That following rules keep you safe.
Hope that helped.

Gavin De Becker is your man! "Protecting the Gift" is a great book; I highly recommend it.

Hey D.,

I CAN NOT stand it when people advertise their own businesses on here because that's NOT what this site is for and it irritates me to no end, so I heitate on saying this, but... in this case, I feel it's very important for me to plug my own because nothing is more important than our children's safety, and that's different! My huisband and I run a program called KM-X for kids in HB and Costa Mesa! What it is, is a kids version of Krav Maga, the Israeli Military Self Defense System. What we teach is considered a martial art, but different from any form of Karate in that rather than learning all the traditional forms or competitive sport activities, we focus on immediate self defense (ie: stranger danger, how to get out of any sort of choke, grab, hold etc.) There is still a belot system in place leading to a black belt, which is in place to keep the kids motivated and goal oriented so they take it seriously, practice hard and learn what we are trying to teach them. If you're interested you can check out our website at www.ockravmaga.com. I sincerely hope this helps you out with your dilemma. The kids get a great physical work out and genuinely learn how to defend themselves which is th most important thing of all. My daughter is a 2nd degree Blackbelt in Tang Soo Do and this method has proven to be sooooo much more practical! She hasn't got a Blackbelt yet, but at 12 yrs. old she's got no choice but to earn one!

I have also bought the "Safe Side" DVD, and like the other Mom, I suggest you watch it with your child. Just so you can put your input as well. My two kids, who are 5 and 3 love to watch it. They request it often. It throws out the basics, but in detail. I bought mine on eBay for like 12 dollars or something. I think it's a good start! Good Luck!!

Hi D., all's we did was tell our kids not to talk to strangers if mom or dad is not with you, think about it a police officer is a sranger, the teacher and the beginning of a new school year is a stranger the first visit to the doctor is a stranger, so that's why we just taught our kids to not talk to stranders unless mommy or daddy is with you. J. L.

It's very hard. I have a 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 year old daughters. I talk more to my 4 1/2 year old. Basically, I tell her the importance of staying with Mommy, Daddy, etc. so that someone doesn't take her away from us. I don't tell her why someone would do that, just that sometimes strangers want a child. I tell her how sad I would be to never see her again, etc.

Common courtesy tells us we can smile at people, acknowledge kindness, and even ask people if you can pet their dog with your parents around. Strangers who endanger our kids have very specific behavior. Talk about the behavior of dangerous humans so the child can identify the danger if it approaches. Most people in our society are wonderful, loving, and helpful.

There is a book called "Protecting The Gift" (being your child), written by a policeman, detective, FBI person. It is wonderfully written, and give you the BEST advise on how to teach your children. It changed my life, SERIOUSLY. Please get this book, or book on tape. I promise you that you will not be disappointed. When you are done, lend it to others. I would lend you mine, but it is in circulation somewhere! I have no personal interest in the book, besides that I care about people. Good luck,

M.

My kids love the The Safe Side Stranger Safety DVD. I found it at Target but I know you can get it online too. It is fun and not scary for them but teaches them the difference between people you know, kinda knows and strangers. It also gives them techniques to use if they are approached by a stranger. It was created by Julie Clark (Baby Einstein) and Bill Walsh (America's Most Wanted). It's a good conversation starter with your kids.

Just have to 2nd Jennifer's response about The Safe Side. You can get more info at thesafeside.com. My kids watch it all the time. My only suggestion is to make sure you watch the video with them, there is lots of help for parents also. You will love it and so will your kids!

A stranger is not a scary person. The predator who could abduct your children would be nice and friendly and would lure them away with something like a puppy or such.
They teach children not to go with anyone without mom or dad, even a few steps with them...............

I would definitely recommend The Safe Side: Stranger Safety DVD. We had it mailed to us about a year ago from Blockbuster Online account, but now I wish we had bought the DVD. I thought my girls (about the same age as yours at the time) might be scared watching it, but they weren't at all. The DVD teaches kids the difference between "Don't Knows", "Kind of Knows" and "Safe Side Strangers" and when it is safe to be with each of them. Good luck!

Other readers have submitted some wonderful ideas.

In addition to their suggestions, enlist the help of a someone known to you, but not to your child. This person will be the "stranger" who tries to: get within reach, talk to, or entice you child.

Hi D. - I see you've already gotten my suggestion, "The Safe Side" DVD. It is AWESOME! We have a 5,4 and 2 1/2 year old at home, so going alone anywhere with the 3 of them is tough! But we watch this video every 3 months or so...and we watch it together and talk about it and practice the suggestions in the video. It has given us great tools and really helped the kids understand. And the best part - the kids, even our 2 1/2 year old - LOVE IT!! They ask to watch it! Good luck!

I am also curious in teaching this to my daughter. I don't understand why we don't have more help in this situation -- cartoons, commercials, school programs, etc. It is such a scary thing and happens more than any of us can comprehend. Oprah had a show on child molesters several months ago and it changed my already "CAUTIOUS" outlook on people to be MUCH more careful than I already am. ANYBODY could be a predator. I'm telling you it changed my life. If you can watch it online I suggest you do. This is stuff we all need to know.
I am going to get the books and DVDs suggested in these replies.

There is a Berenstein Bears book about strangers. Either look on Amazon or see if they have it in your local bookstore, it talks about bad apples, and how you really can't tell if a person is good by looking at them. It is cute, and my daughter likes it!