**Adding this: The National Geographic magazine, had a GREAT article on the Teenage brain and their development.
I HIGHLY recommend reading it.
Here is the link to the article:
http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2011/10/teenage-brains/...
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Well, as an "outsider" and per her age and you being in her Daddy's life now... she is probably behaving that way to perhaps... claim territory on him.
Who knows.
But if you notice it, then others would too.
So I would speak to your Boyfriend about it. But again, this is a new relationship... and he may think that you have no place, in commenting about him and his daughters.
I would hope, that he or his ex-wife, has had the birds and the bees talk with their daughters already. They are Teenagers after all. And they probably have periods and are as you said, developed physically already.
And there does come a time... physically and per age, when bodily interactions with a parent/Dad, is more.... noticed. By outsiders as well.
And it will be commented on.
There is a good book series, for girls, called the "American Girl" books. It has many topics and about a girls' body and its changes and hygiene etc. It is a GOOD book, age appropriate, and meant to be read by the child and her Mom or parent.
I think... your Boyfriend, is probably "dense" about these things, or doesn't want to think about it. I mean, his "little girl" is growing up and changing physically. But a Man/Dad... has to think about that, too. And per interactions with their daughter.
I would highly recommend getting these books... for your Boyfriend. To read. He has, daughters. Thus he needs to, ALSO get informed. About their bodies too and changes etc.
You can find the books at any bookstore or online at Amazon or E-bay.
My daughter is 9, and I have these books already. She loves it.
Your Boyfriend's daughters, is a Tween and a Teen. The 12 year old will be a Teen next year.
And perhaps, the teen daughter feels insecure, about her Dad's relationship with you. She is a child. They get emotions that they don't even understand themselves nor can they even "analyze" their own emotions etc.
But its good you mentioned it to your Boyfriend.
So that he can think about it.
Just don't be "confrontational." Or he may not welcome, any other comments/thoughts from you, about his daughters.
I have a daughter, and my Husband is very involved with her. And my son. As a parent. He comes from a culture, that is very huggy/kissy, and their culture has no issues, with things like affection or nakedness, or about their bodies. But here, in the USA.... people are more.... prone to question, affection between parents and child, at a certain age etc.
But again, as my daughter is getting older, and even if she is 9... and my Husband is thoughtful of things... even he will ask me, if or how he should act with my daughter... in front of others etc. My Husband and daughter are very close. In a healthy way. And she is still a little girl who LOVES to hug and kiss, us. And she loves to cuddle with my Husband while watching tv, etc. But to me, it is not anything more, than just a daughter and Dad, hanging out. My daughter is not endowed or anything... she is 9. She just loves her Dad. But she does not "hang" on him either. It is just regular normal interaction and affection, with her Dad.
Perhaps it seems, that your Boyfriend's daughter... is "overly" hanging on her Dad and cuddling him???? Maybe she doesn't want to lose her Dad, being he is involved with you. But still, a child needs to be guided. And the Man/Dad, also may denote, boundaries. If that is needed, per his daughter's physical development and age and phases.
She does seem clingy with him... and overly demonstrative.... and touchy with him.
Tell your Boyfriend, that any outsider may wonder too. That happens. And what if they tell a Teacher, for example??? That would be weird to some.
If anything, per the daughter's age and development, I would think that a child needs to have "the talk." By now. She is 14. About her body and changes and modesty... and boundaries and the whole thing.
Your Boyfriend's daughters, are growing up. He may still see them as "little girls." But they are not. One is a Tween and the other is a Teenager.
And who knows what their emotional maturity, is.
As you said, your Boyfriend seems like a good man. Has good character. But some Men are just real dense... or they do NOT know how, to fathom the intricacies, with a "daughter." It is hard for them. Unless they grew up with or had, sisters themselves.
As a side note: a family that my friend knows, when their child was young like, I think it was, 5 years old... the child told his Teacher that he sleeps with his parents. It was just an innocent thing. Many parents co-sleep etc. or what not. But so, the Teacher thought it was weird and called CPS on them.
So, outsiders, if a child says things to others, it can be misconstrued.