Teen Gossip Hurts Kids

Hi H., you're right, the teen years can be brutal. My own daughter who is 13 who is very open minded and a friend of all will occasionally make an off-hand comment about another girl's weight, hair, clothes, friends, etc., and to be honest I will usually lash out, it's so upsetting to hear....she is such a great kid! Then she feels shamed, which is not my goal. The goal is to teach not to ever judge, not to ever hurt, to ALWAYS embrace the differences in the sista-hood, you know?

On the other side...in a perfect world by the time the dreaded teen years roll around, a child will already have strength of character, self-respect, and the power of her own convictions enough to hold her head up and breeze through it.

I supose it's a work in progress, creating a strong girl. I am still taking the back door. Celebrating her strengths and victories, involving her in adult conversations, finding something anything positive to say about her daily. Being on her side through it all. Showing an interest (without overstepping those boundries) in the stuff she thinks is cool, a passive but ever present involvement in all her relationships.

Does this make any sense?
Luckily we only have to go through it once, and hopefully immerge on the other side with even more strength and determination to be ourselves.

When I hear my girl who is generally warm loving accepting, be bitchy, I know there are girls who are relentless.

Ignore it? Hold your head high? Be above it? Have peace in your own skin? Develop a superiority complex?

Everyone on this sight has been a victim of teen gossip (been quite awhile for me, tehehe) and we have all survived.

Hope this helps!!

There are 2 books that will help.. One is "Odd Girl Out " by Rachel Simmons.. Get 2 copies and read it with your daughter. and "Queen Bees and Wanna Bees" by Rachel Wiseman.. Again read this book together.. It would be great to start a book club at the school with moms, dads and girls.. If either of these Authors ever speak in your area.. go and see them they are awesome.. My daughter and I heard them when they came to Austin, it was very empowering to every person in attendance.

People that gossip and tease others are immature and worse insecure.. They have to be mean because they need to feed their egos.and they are extremely insecure and immature.

The best way to drive a Bully or Gossip crazy is with indifference.. It will drive them insane.. Just act as though they are invisible.. it takes away any power they think they have over their target.. As I said in my last post.. Being happy and living well is the best revenge..

Make a report and take it to the Vice Principal in charge of the students involved and just give them a heads up about what is going on and what you are doing about these behaviors..

Well, it happened to my child by her supposed BFF. I told the teacher and the school AP. Then I approached the girl's mom (who is very nice and strict with her kids). It turns out that she was bullied at her school in Russia and came here, learned to fit in and bullying made her feel empowered; not intimidated like she was in Russia. We sat the girls down and talked and even though they are not BFF's they still chat and will occasionally have a "playdate".
You must inform a school administrator and a parent. Good Luck!

hey H. i think that if bullying happens at school to your friends or family like neices,nephews, you need to tell a parent or teacher so it does not get worse!!

why are girls so much meaner than boys? I have 2 sons, & rarely did they have to go thru what my nieces have experienced! WOW!

Hi H., I have a granddaughter named H. Jo, you have had some good advice and comments. What I have done in the past my daughter is grown and I have grandchildren, but is to have the friends over and listen to how they talk to each other, my granddaughter spends alot of time at my house so I get to have the friends over and then it gives me opportunity to talk to her about how they talk to each other, (when were by ourself) but I am not above pointing it out to any of the girls that are at my home and talking to them about how would you feel if I said that to you. They don't think about that unless you got parents that are training their kids about these things and teaching them to consider others feelings. We played alot of "what if" and "how would you feel" but it being in good communication with your kids, giving them a safe peaceful home to come home to where they know they are loved and encouraged. A lot of these kids come home to empty homes or chaos and no teaching or training at home. Just don't give up on your teen it is difficult years for them and they need your support whether they think they do or not. Then when they do grow up and leave home you have a wonderful child/parent relationship. I know I do with mine. Also we relied alot on prayer and asking God for help and direction, He is a great source and He can be with your child no matter where she is.