Terrible Two's - Venice, FL

Hi T., I've been though the same thing when my son was that age. I had to sit on the floor and put him in my lap, hold him tight, and sing to him till he calmed down. After he relaxed I would talk to him about what he was so upset about. If he was having the fit because he was in trouble then he would have to do his time out after he calmed down. This does take some time but it helped so much to calm him and me down. I noticed that the more stressed I was the worse he would act. Hope this helps. Don't forget to breath. :)

T., I'm probably about to sound cold about the situation. I have two boys (5 & 1 1/2)so I've been there with my oldest and am starting to go through it with my youngest. The biggest thing I think you can do is first of all don't allow him to pitch a fit to that extent. Two year olds are going to pitch fits, but when they are throwing themselves into things, it's time to fix that. So many use the terrible two's as an excuse for their child acting out, like it is normal. It is only normal for your child if you allow it to be normal. My children were never allowed to get away with things like that (though they would try.) So many people feel that "oh, he's only two, he doesn't understand." Trust me, he understands. Especially if you are consistent which is key. He knows he is misbehaving, but he also knows that up to this point it has been tollerated. So what reason does he have to stop? Don't get me wrong, two year olds will always act up and try to test you and push their limits, but it is your job to let them know it is totally unacceptable and will not be tollerated. To make this short, do a reward/consequence system. Write it down so that you remember it and can be consistent. Write down all the things he does from smallest to biggest. Then put what the consequence will be for each thing EVERYTIME! Then DO IT EVERYTIME! No fine lines, he either did it or he didn't. None of that "well he wasn't SO bad." Then do the same thing for the good things he does and write a reward next to each of those. Espescially reward for not getting in trouble all day, or before nap, or for helping clean up, or for listening well. Try to reward often so that they can keep the rewards on their mind. Now he knows I get this if I'm good and I get in trouble if I'm bad. It will take time, but he will grasp it eventually. Here's the thing, kids come to an age where they could care less about being in time out. So at this point that should be one of the lesser consequences. I also used bed for time out because there he could not throw himself around, I could close the door (which helped me with my sanity) and after 2 minutes I go in there, pick him up and talk to him and ask him if he was finished. After I set him down, if he started acting up again, he went right back in bed for another 2 minutes. He eventually would get tired of having to keep going back that he would calm down. You need to start thinking about more firm consequences that really work for him. Hope this helps!

When my sister and I were little girls we through a tantrum in the grocery store and my mom got down on her hands and knees and through a tantrum too. My sister and I didn't know what to think, we stopped and just stood there watching her like she was crazy. We never through a tantrum again!

T.,
I am sorry Dylan is having a hard time these days. I have to say that my son had some anger issues also, which I think had a lot to do with his speech delay and not being about to really communicate his feeling and emotions. Now that my son is speaking- alittle, I try very hard to take a step back and work through things with him before they escalate to him throwing a fit. I get on the floor and I talk to him, are you sad are you mad, what happened? Sometimes toys don't work and sometimes whatever,,, I try to let him see that there is a way to understnad and express his feelings other than throwing a fit. MOST of the time he slows it down and takes it easy without the fit, but EVERYTIME my husband puts him in the corner or in time out- he freaks out and it becomes a total break down. You have to teach him that he can talk and cry and be mad without a fit. It will take sometime but trust me it works. We are raising men :) Good luck, Jen

My son is almost 3, and I totally feel your pain! Somedays I am sure that his behaviour is just not normal! It gets really hard to ignore sometimes, too. After my son has had a few minutes (or a lot) to vent and carry on, I try to approach him and we sit in a quiet area, usually his room, and we take deep breaths and count to 10. Sometimes it takes a few times, but usually it helps get his focus away from whatever he was flipping out over.

I will tell you that there are some times when just nothing helps, and I just have to go outside for a minute or I think I might start beating my head into a wall too!

Good Luck!
B.