The Momma Blues

I get like this in the winter if I don't get out enough. I find that if I get bundled up and go out for a walk, snowshoeing, skiing, or just watch the kids toboggan I feel better. Sunlight and fresh air help.

ETA: I also find that the kids behave better when they get enough time outside.

I was definitely feeling that way a couple weeks ago, and when I talked to a good friend she encouraged me to take vitamins. She reminded me that even if I eat well and a variety...that doesn't mean my body is doing a good job of absorbing what I need. Anyway, I went back on a woman's multivitamin, b-6, b-12, c, omegas, magnesium, and D. She said D is most important. I do feel better...whether that is placebo affect or not is anyone's guess. But I am feeling good!

I think it's this time of year...post holidays...cold out, just blah. January and February are the worst. I find taking a little walk on sunny days even if it's cold helps lighten my mood a bit. I basically hibernate this time of year. You are absolutely not alone!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

First, accept what you're feeling isn't unusual, nor is it "BAD." It IS a temporary situation, and you can handle it. Plus, there is nothing wrong with feeling like $#%& in ANY season!

Next, what to do? Oh my, I have SO many ideas from my own multiple experiences! There's no "fix," or easy answer, and what works once may not be as effective the next time.

HOWEVER, you have children at home, so this is my "go to" suggestion: HAVE FUN with them... Laughter IS the Best Medicine!

Watch TV or a video snuggled up, let them chose dinner and make it together, play a game together... whatever it is, RELAX and enjoy being a Mom. Be willing to let them make a mess - make it with them - and let them see the JOY you have in being their Mom.

Also, when they're gone, like at school, don't feel pressured to run around doing chores and cleaning. Claiming "ME" time, for me, gave me the willingness to put the extra effort necessary to clean thoroughly and other tasks.

Notice I said "willingness" and not motivation. I've found, and this is still true today, once I get started on cleaning or other tasks, it's easier to keep going until it's done - or done enough.

There's other good advice - call a friend, exercise, get outside, work for only 10 minutes - all of which I've done too; but nothing has ever been as helpful as just relaxing and loving my Life!

Do you have a hobby? If not get one. My hobby has enriched my life more than I ever could have imagined. BTW...it took me a long time before I tried something that I ended up loving and feeling passionate about.

I have to agree with the moms saying getting outside in fresh air, being active is the key (for me anyhow). Just took a coffee out to my hubby who is clearing off our outdoor rink. For us, where we live, being active is so important because our winters last so long.

The last two weeks I have been working on de-cluttering. It started when I saw a picture of my sweet great nephew and I realized I could get rid of a lot of our old stuff that I'd put away.

So even baby steps - go for a walk outside (short one), get kids outside, take up something you've been meaning to do (just 15 minutes a day) - maybe that will help get you motivated.

When I have down days - where I feel blah, I take time for myself. I watch a good movie, read a book, sip on tea all afternoon long .. I just take it easy. It's ok to have low key days - because the rest of the time, it's nuts.

This is totally me right now. Want to sleep constantly, don't want to cook, clean, watch tv, read, or basically anything that requires me to do anything. I just keep pushing myself to do something every single day so for me its taking the dog out for a half hour walk. I hate it. I don't want to do it but when I get outside and breath the nice clean air I seem to be able to be in a better mood when I get back inside.

How old are the kids? Are they in school? If they aren't, can you find someone to watch them for the day? Grab a friend and get a pedicure, go out to lunch, get out of the house for the day. Or stay home - a hot bath and a good book is always good.

All moms feel like this at times. You aren't alone. I went through it a couple of weeks ago. It lasted a week. I didn't want to do anything, I felt like I was on autopilot. You don't feel appreciated, always doing things for your husband and kids.

What helps me the most is dropping my son off at my in laws for the night. I focus on me - hot bath without interruptions, painting my nails, watching a movie with my husband or just having a conversation with him.

Don't be afraid to ask or admit you need a break. I felt guilty at first like I was a bad mom. You need the time away from the kids to keep being a great mom.

It's the lack of sunlight.
I get a little SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder) but bright lights help me a bit.
I actually feel better once the pressure of the holidays is over.
My coworkers are grouchy bears right now and I am so relieved now that the Christmas decorations are put away.
They want to do a Secret Valentine - Secret Santa was more than enough for me.
It's too soon for another sugar laden holiday (Valentines/St Patrick's/ Easter almost all run together).
Tomorrow is Groundhog Day! and the days are gradually getting a little longer.
My neighbors are already planning their veggie gardens, I need to get some horse manure dug into mine, we've had our first flock of robins arrive and my snowdrops are blooming - crocuses are never far behind!
If you're feeling blah - pamper yourself a bit.
A nice relaxing bath is a treat, and so is reading in bed on a cold winter night.
This time of winter I do less hot chocolate and more minty lemon tea (hot or cold).

Oh, I am right there with you girl. I am in a big slump. I think the things growing in my shower might eat one of us some morning. If I have five minutes all I want to do is lay down.

I have two kids in school....but have taken over the driving for my aunt and taking my uncle to the doctor's office. I am so glad I have them they get me out of the house a couple days a week. Then once I am up and out it is better...but as soon as I am back home, blah...my electric blanket calls my name until the kids get home...then it is run run run every afternoon.

We all go through it. I have before and I know I will come out the other side this time. You will to...all the advice below is good. In fact I have been invited to a painting party Friday night and I don't want to go...but you know what? I think I am just going to get out and do something.

Good luck!!

Yes, I get them too :-(.

What I have noticed is that as the kids have gotten older, more of their activities are out of the house. Having to take them here and there kind of interrupts that winter isolation and has gotten us around more people.

When they were younger I took advantage of library activities (movie afternoons, visiting zoo animals, etc). Our library also has a blue lamp (?) the light that is recommended if you don't get enough sunlight and wards off SAD. You can sit by it while kids are in activity.

The jumpy places usually have discount hours so the kids can burn off energy...

I've been blessed to have a network of pretty good mom friends...one goes walking with me twice a week. I don't want to let her down and I enjoy our talks, so it forces me out. On days when it is too snow covered, icy or cold, our local high school allows residents to use indoor track. It can be used daytime or evening, so we even meet there or I go alone.

I have another friend who does The Bachelor viewing parties. Not quite my cup of tea, but she "forces" me (wink,wink) to come enjoy her delicious treats she puts out and enjoy a glass of wine and before you know it I am commiserating with the other viewers about this long winter and having a great time. I have also branched off with other close friends and have a viewing night of some of our favorite shows.

Another mom group, we do movie nights 1-2x over winter and watch teen favs from our generation (Breakfast Club, Something About Mary). Which when I host forces me to clean and get creative for a theme, LOL

Being an introvert, it is hard for me to put myself out there. But I realize if I don't, I isolate and that can spiral down to an ugly place.

So for me, it has been helpful to put effort into connecting with others in group activities, and from these I have found some close friendships that appeal to my introverted self and that have managed to use the 'buddy system' to help each other through winter.

We're in February.....we're getting closer to the end :-)

SAD (seasonal affected depression) happens; it certainly happens with a vengeance up here. My father refuses to live west of the Cascades any more because he suffered for years....

I can only reiterate that going outside does help immensely. It's an extra effort, some days, but I have to be the leader for Kiddo and myself (we homeschool, so he's not having recess and other outside time with classmates). Some days, I sweeten things by walking up to the coffee shop and getting him a little treat. Some days, we choose a destination so that the walking feels purposeful. Today it's bitterly cold but I'm going to have to think of something.... :)

One game I play with him is that we go back and forth thinking of things we are grateful for. I do this alone when I'm feeling glum; it really works! Focusing on what I have (instead of my discontent/feelings) resets my attention of feeling gratitude and recognizing how fortunate I am. I may not experience joy with this, but certainly, I feel more content and it puts the doldrums into a more correct perspective-- that this is temporary.

Lastly, I take care of myself as well as I can. My husband has been terribly sick ( bad sore throat, he's not sleeping because of it) for the past several days, so I've been taking care of everyone else. Last night, after making dinner for everyone, I also made myself an artichoke and sent Kiddo off to play a video game so that I could eat it in peace. It's a small thing, but an activity I think of as rather luxurious in the time it takes as well as my own appreciation for the thorny flower. After that, I did the dishes, made my husband yet another icy smoothie, moved Kiddo toward bedtime and made myself a margarita and SAT DOWN to watch Midsomer Murders. Even with the interruptions of caring for my guys, I felt like *I* was taking care of myself, and therefore, I could care for them without feeling resentment.

Hang in there! All too soon I'll be dealing with summer and hot flashes... try to enjoy the season you are in as best you can. Remember, it's only temporary. Even if nothing else is reliable, we can count on the seasons to come and go in their time!

I for one can't wait for spring.

If your kids are constantly misbehaving, maybe you should watch a few episodes of Supernanny? I wish that show had been around when my kids were little.

I feel you! Could be winter blues. Could be depression. I've been thru this the past year and am now on a medication that works. But the med only helped part way. I had to invest time in myself which was something I just hadn't done in years as a mom. I started eating better and drinking lots of water and also taking vitamins. But helped the most was taking time for myself. Telling myself it's ok to take time to read a book, or take a bath, or a nap or whatever is that you need, EVEN IF there are chores to be done. You are more important! I also started exercising and that is what finally brought me back to myself. I joined the YMCA and take a class twice per week, then me and my daughter (12) go once a week or so to do some cardio and weights. Getting out of the house helps, even when I 100% didn't feel like it. Hugs to you and take car of yourself!!! Best advice I can give and one of the hardest lessons I had to learn!