This Drives Me NUTS...

I kissed my grandparents AND great grandparents on the mouth until the day they died. I miss them and would L. to kiss them all again. Germs or no germs!

My opinion -- you have just as many germs as they do. Don't worry about germs. He'll get sick occasionally, and it will usually be hand/mouth related. Affection and kissing people is more important.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. Unless they are actually sick, he isn't getting exposed to any more germs than if he went to play at an indoor playground or rode in a grocery store cart. Them offering a drink from their cup is no different than you doing it. I can understand it when he was as newborn, not wanting him to be kissed on the mouth, but he is older now and this is part of how they build up an immune system. Eventually he will be old enough to decide he doesn't want to lip-kiss anyone, including you guys.

Yikes! I bet your in-laws feel like they are walking on eggshells with you about a lot of stuff, not just this. You'd do well to be more gracious in your dealing with them. That baby wasn't just "someone else's newborn", your son is the son of their son, and that means something. Maybe you won't understand until you have grandkids--maybe you will be this retentive for the rest of your life. I'm glad I got it right away. I was so grateful when I saw the L. my in-laws (and my mom) had for my son. I was overwhelmed by any display of affection from them to him. (he's almost 2 now)

I think it's absurd that you think that you should be able to dictate how people react to a behavior that you taught your son. "It makes me so mad" --really? it makes you "so mad" that grandparents, flesh and blood of your child, people who changed the diapers of and clothed and fed you and your husband without whom YOU your son's father (let alone your son) wouldn't be here.

I know I'm coming off really harsh here, I'd tell it to you straight if you were my best friend. You need to chill out. I'd be more hurt if grandparents or close relatives rejected my sons displays of affection. If you don't want it, then you're going to have to stop doing that with your son.

This is your first and only child so far isnt it? LOL. Not trying to be rude, but you need to get over it. Pick your battles. FAMILY loving your son shouldnt be one of them. People probably have more germs on their hands than their mouth anyways. Being a little worried about germs is one thing, but getting MAD about family loving your son is another. I would be offended if someone was clearly sick. Maybe buy him a bubble. :)

I didn't really think about the germ thing when I read this... but more how fortunate you are to have an affectionate family. There are plenty of grandparents that don't want much to do with their grandkids, let alone smother them with hugs & kisses.

Be happy that your boy has grandparents that adore him & let him adore them. They won't be around forever.

is your child going to school? playing with other children? does he go to the grocery store with you? do you go to church or the library? there are germs there too! you can't keep you baby in a bubble. germs are all over!!!

You said you and your husband kiss your baby on his mouth. Do you think you and your husband don't have germs? This means that your rule applies to you and your husbad as well. Just because you and your husband are his parents, you two are not exempt from your germ rule. Germs are germs - everyone has them, including the parents. My point - your rule (or wanting to make this rule) is very unrealistic and is not a battle I would choose. I promise you that your son will get just as many germs from people touching his hands and him putting his hands in his mouth. Are you going to make a rule for your family (which would have to include you and your husband) that states "no touching his hands" too? Do you see how silly this is? Every child gets sick from time to time, which is inevitable. It is out of your control, so you might as well give it up now, otherwise you will make yourself INSANE, and an insane M. is not good for her family's well being. Just accept the fact that this is something that is out of your control - unless you want your son living in a bubble, like the "bubble boy" on Seinfeld (remember that)?

If you do not want people to kiss your son on the mouth, you will have to teach HIM not to try to kiss people on the mouth, of course! Do you honestly think your son would understand why the person he loves is refusing to give him kisses the way he believes they are to be given (the way his parents who he loves and they L. him give kisses)? You have a much greater ability to reason than your son does, how would YOU feel if you tried to kiss someone you loved and they turned their head?

My family was all mouth kissers, when I got old enough I learned to turn my own head and do the cheek thing.... other than that, I dont think anyone in my LARGE family died from getting all kissed up by grandparents and aunts and uncles. Not sure what to tell ya that wouldnt hurt your MIL's feelings. I don't kiss my grandbabies on the mouth tho mostly because I hated my grandparents doing it to me, haha.

My advice would be to relax...you simply cannot protect your son from all the germs and dirt that is floating around our world. In fact, he NEEDS to be exposed to some of them in order to build up a resistance to them.
Kissing on the mouth is really no worse than shaking hands or as someone already stated...riding in the grocery carts...germs are everywhere and we honestly can't avoid them.
Be grateful for the fact that your son is affectionate and wants to show his L....and also be grateful that you have family that loves your son and wants to show him that. I would give anything in the world if my Mother were still alive and could see my precious grandsons...she would have loved them and YES...she would have been showering them with kisses!!!

i don't get the logic that it's okay for you but not others? do you know if you've caught a cold or something ahead of time, while others don't? it seems a little over the top to me. i would almost be more on your side if you were as uptight about EVERYONE, including yourself and hubby. i just don't see how it makes sense. try to relax. you can't keep your baby in a bubble - unless you plan to NEVER let him out. don't take him to school, or the grocery store, or church, or a restaurant...he WILL be exposed to germs. time to relax a little bit. hang in there! he'll be ok!

If I were you I would stop kissing him on the mouth. He isn't going to be able to know at this age who he should kiss on the mouth or who he shouldn't. If you start saying give mommy and daddy kisses on the cheek then he will just start to do that with others as well. Telling people is going to hurt their feelings. If they have germs so do you and your husband. I had a little boy who used to lick all the kids faces at my daycare (pretty nasty) I finally had to talk to the mom about it and she said "Oh, that is what my husband and him doing when they are playing around." So I suggested they stop just for this reason. When they stopped, he stopped.

My daughter has always kissed close family on the lips. I don't see anything wrong with it, because she doesn't do so when they are obviously sick and my family wouldn't allow her to if they were sick.

I think you have just a bit of OCD and germophobia... I'm a Nurse and I'm not that anal about that stuff. Your child - like mine - sees kissing close ppl on the mouth as a high sign of L. and affection - after all that is what Mommy, Daddy and himself do to show L. and affection.

Drinking from the same cup... I do try to limit that. There are active bacterial cultures in saliva that gets backwashed which at least help cause tooth decay and at worst carry mono, cold, herpes, etc virals.

I think kissing kids on the mouth by anyone including parents is gross. You have germs too. I think it is time to teach him to kiss on the cheek.

This is going to sound horrible, I know, but I can't help it!

I'm not worried about germs or getting sick. from relatives in regards to kissing. What I can't stand is after the kids have kissed my inlaws, they come and kiss me! I think it's gross and I hate feeling like I just had my FIL plant one on me! I L. loving on my kids and I L. family loving on my KIDS! I don't like feeling like the INLAWS are loving on me! I should note I don't feel this way when it's MY parents! LOL!

I usually suck it up and grimce for the kids' sake but inside I cringe. Eventually it will be cheek kisses (I hope!).

You need to relax and not be mad about this. I'm sure that's easier said than done. Your baby loves his grandparents and they L. him. There are many more germy things you need to worry about in the world. I would worry more about him passing on something to the grandparents.

Instead of hurting the feelings of these loving relatives you can start teaching your son to kiss on the cheek, and/or blow air kisses. I always taught my kids to blow air kisses when they were tiny and it was never a problem.

Yeah at almost two, I think he will be fine. I think if every time he went to kiss someone in the family they turned their head that could be weird for him you know? But he is old enough for you to teach him not to kiss anyone on the mouth except you and daddy, if you want. But be prepared for the fallout when Grandma tries to kiss him and he says "ewww, gross Grandma!!" lol :D

I agree with you completely!!! Often people have cold sores and those are HIGHLY contagious! Who would want their precious new baby contaminated like that! And to those people who are giving you a hard time they should think twice. You are correct about germs and also personal boundaries.

You have a right to ask people not to kiss your baby on the mouth. It isn't their baby!

I think the decision should be entirely up to you!

My son was like that when he was younger, and I would always jump in and say, oh, we just got over being sick, and stop him, or say, they flu is going around and we don't want to get sick! kind of playfully. My MIL would try and kiss him, but since my other half didn't say anything, I just burst in and said absolutely no! I don't want him exposed to second hand smoke that way. (she's a smoker) There are times you have to put your foot down.

I had the MIL from hell. She was an alcoholic first of all and that made her very difficult. Then when my son was born, my MIL said, to me she had no "real" grandchildren. Broke my heart, but I had to keep my mouth shut about how hurt I was.

Then as my children grew, when we went to visit, my husband and his dad would go golf and I would be stuck with MIL and the kids in a no touch house. Fortunately I had kids that knew how to not touch. My MIL would spend the time whispering to me all kinds of secrets about people I did not know. Finally I just stopped going. Could not stand it.

So now that I am the MIL I always ask if I can come visit. I ask if I can do things with the kids. I walk on tiptoe around my DIL to make sure that I do not "mess up" her routine with the kids. It is harder than you think. I do not want to be my MIL.

If your MIL is doing something you do not like, talk to your husband. It is his mom. He should deal with it. He should set the limits. Then follow through with what he said was the limits were.

You make it stop by teaching your son not to kiss on the lips.
You gotta teach him to turn his head and kiss on the cheek.
I am not a mouth kisser. I don't do mouth kisses except for my husband.
It's weird and awkward to me, not to mention gross.

And btw, your germs as just as contagious as everyone else's.

If you know (or suspect) that the family members have HIV, herpes, or hepatitis, then it is reasonable to send out the message to them that you don't want them kissing your son on the mouth. Otherwise, even with your additional info, you should probably let it drop.

I'm not sure how you could handle the kissing on the mouth without hurting feelings. I would say something if they are sick but that should be obvious to everyone not to kiss a child when you're sick. However I draw the line at drink sharing. That's just gross. #1 my daughter is only allowed to drink water, milk(but she doesn't like it) and unsweetened juice. #2 I don't share drinks with people with the exception of my hubby and well let's face it we're already swapping spit...lol. I have had to tell people not to share drinks or food with my child. It's one thing to break off an unbitten piece of food but I find it gross to eat of the same utensil or bite off of someone's sandwich. Hubby and I feel the same way about this so that has never been an issue between us. We've gotten some flack from his family for it but in the end they're our children and we make the rules :)

First off, consider yourself lucky to have this problem. You should be thankful for grandparents who are involved and want to shower their new grandbaby in kisses. My 3 year old didn't even get a phone call from his grandparents on his first or 3rd birthday.

Second, there is no need to give up kissing for the sake of your health and that of your loved ones. While disease-causing bugs can be transferred during a kiss, most won’t cause disease and the risk of serious disease is very small. The emotional bonding that kissing his grandparents bring is so important and should far outweigh any other aspect.

Hang in there M., and if it still grosses you out, I suggest turning your head :o)

Why don't you string a bead necklace that says 'NO KISSES ON THE MOUTH!' maybe that will get their attention.
Unless you do something that drastic or tape a sign on him, it will happen. You can let family members know what you feel about this - but if a total stranger does it, you shouldn't let your kids wander over to strangers.
Also give your son immune booster stuff - airborne, homeopathic remedies that can keep his immune system in a good state, so he will be less likely to pick up things.
If this is a huge problem, as you say it is - make up the necklace or one of those sticky 'my name is_______' and fill in the blank: Not to be kissed on the mouth
Sounds nutty, but unless you do something like that - you will have to jump in and say something every time.