This Is Silly, but I'm Sure I'm Not Alone

Unless he's twelve, he needs to suck it up and go. It's a WEDDING for goodness sake. He can talk to the bartender!

I would let him opt out of the wedding unless he is actually close with this person. My husband and I my family do not get along we had a wedding last weekend my husband INSISTED upon coming I gave him the option many times. The entire time he was miserable when it was over he said- I should have taken you up on the offer.

shoot...tell him to stay home and you go have a great time...if you have kids, let them stay home with daddy..enjoy your catching up....you dont want to be worried about if he is being occupied. And if those cousins or uncles ask where your man is..just first laugh and say "he decided to stay home since you guys ignore him whenever he is around" ha ha

I'd let him stay home. Don't feel sorry for him, why put him in a situation that know neither of you will be comfortable. It is a shame about your family and your husband's inability to get along, but until you can fix it, one person at a time, leave it alone.

Blessings..

Hi Krys! Been there and done that, but was in your hubby's position - not yours. I was miserable every time there was a family get together on the now ex husband's side because he would take off to hang out with his family, leaving me by myself and his parents and siblings basically wanted nothing to do any of their children's spouses.

A therapist I consulted advised me not to go because in addition to making me miserable for the duration of the event itself, it made me angry and resentful long past the event, and continued to hurt me - not them, as they could care less. Wish I had followed her advice....I went through this for 17 years and it was not worth it.

As uncomfortable as it may be for you to attend this wedding by yourself, you might want to re-think your position...I'm sure you love your husband and don't want to make him feel uncomfortable among family that is ignoring him.

My husband is staying home from a wedding this summer for a similar reason. Aside from the OUTRAGEOUS airfare to fly to Savannah, he knows that it is going to be a bunch of my childhood friends and their families... boring for him! He actually adores the bride, but is going to stay home with our son (not invited) for the weekend. Actually... several spouses are opting-out for that very reason.

As for your uncles and cousins- well, that's just rude. Do they like him? Seriously. My sister had a boyfriend that we all really disliked... to the point that my husband and brother-in-law would ask ahead of time if he was attending an event and then make sure that they had "topics prepared" to talk with him about. Otherwise, the conversations got weird and too long. We actually had a "safety signal" so that one of us could step-in if needed.

The odds are pretty good that you won't intentionally ignore him, but he will be left out. Do you need a "date"? This is your family event so you will know the majority of the folks there anyway and will only notice him missing during slow songs... perfect time to get a cocktail and touch up the lipstick!

IMO, life is so busy with work and kids already that there shouldn't be unnecessary "obligations." You'll be fine without your husband so why make him waste his free time unhappy? It shouldn't be to save face or prove anything to rude relatives...

I'm going with the majority on this one!

Let him stay home and make it a point to mention it to a few key relatives (not everyone) when asked where he is that he doesn't feel like the guys include him (use terms your fam will understand- mine are a little more blunt than that) and so you told him not to come!

They prob won't take the hint, but you never know, maybe one of them will wake up and realize they are being jerks and ask him to go and grab a beer at the bar at the next event.

Enjoy your time away from your fam and he will enjoy his time away from yours! ;)

Lisa W. said it all.......

Oh how I feel your husbands pain! Luckily my MIL and FIL and get along great. The rest of his family (on mom's side) treats me like a second class citizen. My husbands uncle actually told his brother not to be like my husband and not marry the first girl that comes along! Unfortunately for him I heard. I whipped around and said, "What's wrong with marrying the first girl that comes along? Worked pretty good for him." Now that uncle is always extra special (almost creepily). I would let him stay home, give him a break this time and he might be more willing to come next time.

Hi Krys i may be a little late on this, but reading your post TELL him to go LET him stay home, you sound more like his boss or his mother more so than his wife. For me Krys I would never attend any family event where my husband was treated the way you discribed, wedding or what, your husband should come first, and he should have the say weather he goes or not. J.

Let him stay home.

Just my comment: but it is real RUDE of your cousins/Uncles ignoring him. I mean, that is really bad social manners. Really bad and immature.
They sound clique-ish.

I would let him stay. Have fun.

I could have written your Q...and to further distance himself from my male relatives, my DH knows nothing about sports.
We have a wedding to attend in a month and while I am sure he'd rather not go (shoot-I'd rather not go either) he will.
Who else is gonna entertain DD? ;)
It's a couple hours-I think he should go because he is your husband. You are a team. Not going says: I don't care.

Last year DH and I had to go out of town to a wedding w/o kids. I knew the bride and groom but not closely. DH knew a few more ppl. He was in the wedding party and I had to fend for myself until dinner was over...even though it was stressful we had fun just being together.

Go together. Enjoy each others company.

I feel sooo bad for your hubby! Thats awful to be treated that way--- I would definitely let my husband stay home if that was the way my family treated him! I would let him stay home and if they ask where he is, tell them the truth....they suck and they are not welcoming or kind to him when he tries to have a convo with them. GL!

M

Any chance he could go for a little while then go home or back to your hotel room. You could have dinner and maybe dance a bit then he could socalize with the ladies and leave. If the men say anything, tell them he feels uncomfortable because they keep shutting him out. Put the ball in their court, tell them they are rude to him and it offens him. If they have a reason speak up, if not they could be nice to him.

i would have him go, showing up is important, it will show your cousins that their bad behavior is not getting to him.

If it were my husband, he would tell me that of course he's going to go and he wouldn't let somebody not socializing with him keep him away from me. He would basically tell me, that he's sucking it up and going. But then again, my husband isn't a big gabber either, but even if he were a gabber, I'm sure he could meet somebody new at the wedding to chit chat with.