"This Year, How About We Skip Gifts for Each Other?"

My husband and I tried that, but Santa still brought him something and didn't get me anything, so that kind of backfired. Not that it mattered to ME, but the kids wanted to know why Santa left me out ;)

SO, we each get each other one little thing, and Santa (me), buys myself little things through out the year that gets saved for Christmas, LOL!!

It works :)

My brothers and I are all adults now, and we don't buy each other anything (maybe just a little something, only if we're going to see each other)... if they want to get something for my kids, great, but I don't want them spending their money on ME. As young adults, the money they would spend on me I'd rather them put towards something they need.

Funny, this was the first year I proposed this to my husband! He was not thrilled about it.

We also come from different backgrounds tho - my family rarely gives gifts, yet that was how his family shows love. So he was greatly offended when I suggested it - even though his version of "gift giving" in the past was having ME put stuff in the cart on Amazon and have it shipped in his name so he could wrap it for me. :(

In leiu of doing this charade again this year, I suggested that we give a gift to the both of us. So we're doing 12 dates of Christmas - preplanning 12 dates, one for each month in 2012. I'm responsible for planning 6, he's responsible for 6, and on Christmas, we'll open them up and see what the other has planned, and where they fit best on the calendar. We haven't done this before, but it should be fun - and definitely beats finding stuff on Amazon. :)

we fill stockings for each other. Saves money and if we really want something, we'd just go get it.

We have said it, never stuck to it.

Even if you don't spend money on each other there are still great gifts that can be given. I turned the backyard into an awesome chill spot for my husband, repurposed stuff from the garage and the house and hung white lights, pulled a radio outside, made a firepit. It didn't cost money, just time, sweat, and imagination. I'm sure that was one of his favorite gifts ever.

We always do this. Both of our birthdays are in February so we usually celebrate those instead of Christmas. I don't think we've bought each other Christmas presents since we had our son 7yrs ago.

We did it and didn't like it!! This year we are just limiting the $ we spend on each other. Our kids questioned why we didn't give gifts to each other too! We explain that we give gifts on X-mas and birthdays to show that we care.
That is just our experience!

Nickie

We do this.. to save money and because we normally get anything we want during the year. The only time we don't stick to it is if we somehow get some money that we weren't expecting then it's a mutual decision.

I know lots of people do this, and maybe I am immature, but I love to buy a gift for my husband and I want one back. It just seems lazy to me that you can't take the time to do something thoughtful for the person that is really the closest to you in the world, just one of the little ways husbands and wives take each other for granted. Taking each other for granted and spending our time and energies on everyone but our parner is a slippery slope. Unless money is REALLY tight I think we could find or make a little something. It doesn't have to be a big impressive gift, just something thoughtful or loving

We did it last year, when money was really tight for me.

And yes, we did stick to it!
I was the enforcer. My DH likes for everyone to have something to open. So I had to remind him several times not to go get anything "little", because I couldn't return that for him, and it would make me feel really bad.
He listened!

yup, we're doing it again this year b/c we're trying to save money. we have a joint account so it seems silly to spend our money trying to guess what each other likes when we can just buy what we want ourselves. if we had $$, we'd still do it just for fun but we don't, so only gifts for our son this year. :)

if you do get something even if its under twenty bucks or so let her know. i spent 100 bucks for my husbands christmas gift which we agreed on. he went out and spent 400 bucks!!! i was so embarassed and felt bad. he totally did not understand btw until i explained if i had spent that much and he had only spent the hundred how would he feel? that was last year and this year i know to spend a bunch no matter what budget we set (within reason that is )

Nope, didn't work. And the (extended) family always says, next year let's just gt one present for each person (except the little kids) and nobody ever follows up on that either. On the other hand, I can always use a new pair of gloves or wool socks :)

Yes, for the money... We always seem to change our minds to "just" do stockings for each other and set a small limit. Or, we say that our present will be something we do together just the two of us next year - like a special night out or night away.

This is the first year we're trying to skip gifts for each other. My husband usually goes overboard buying stuff for me, and it's all stuff that's nice, but not that I really need. I try to keep up and get him stuff, but he's a better shopper, so I always feel like he's "outdone" me. And I never use the stuff he buys anyway (like an awesome leather carryon bag that I would have loved for work travel... but I need a backpack when I travel with our girls, or gorgeous shirts from an expensive store... but they don't match anything I have)

So, this year I suggested we skip the gifts and buy a new bookshelf for our office instead. Of course, after we did that I though of about a million things I'd like. But I think we're going to try to stick to it. =)

We have done it every year for the past 5 - this year we are actually buying for each other!

And some years we have stuck to it, others I get him something small, like socks or something practical that he really needs.

Merry Christmas!

My husband and I don't exchange gifts. If we get each other something... its from the kids ( on the tag). Mainly we keep it about the kids.

There is only one time that we ( I ) haven't followed each other wishes on no gift exchanging. My husband had been talking about wanting a mandolin for over a year, here and there. I found one very reasonable and bought it for him with some books on how learn to play it. To see his face when he opened it was priceless.

We do things during the year when needed and we don't wait for Christmas or birthdays.

So, it is the normal that we don't exchange big gifts. We make sure to have a gift or 2 under the tree but they are nomimal things such as new tennis shoes for hubby, he always puts a spa day in for me and the rest are for daughter which this year she informed us she does not "need" anything. So I am clueless on what to get daughter other than money because she is a fashionista!

Yes, we've said it & yes, we've stuck to it. Other years we've stuck to very strict, very small budgets for each other (say, $40 each). It's not because we WANT to do this, but out of necessity. This year we don't need to skip getting gifts for each other, but we're still trying to stay at a sane amount of absolutely no more than $250 each.

ETA--just like Aunt Mel Mel said, even on years that we buy each other NO gifts, we always still do stockings for each other.

Haven't technically said that, but since we're building our house, my husband pointed to our new vanity last week (still no countertop on it, it's just raw wood drawers/cabinet, handmade by a friend), and said "That's your Christmas Present." :( I am hoping he actually gets me SOMETHING. A package of gummy bears would even be nice - letting me know that I'm worth a trip to the grocery store. I did get him a couple things, although I think he's expecting nothing. This year, I bought things that are kind of for our house or for all of us - (I got us a new 7-pack of flashlights we always seem to need.)

Not sure if I answered your question, but that's what we're doing. We've been married for 4 years now and we've kept gifts minimal for the most part. We often buy what we 'need' during the year, and spend very little if nothing on what we 'want.'

Yep, we've said it and stuck to it. We haven't bought each other christmas gifts for years.

You do know that you still have to get your wife at least a token gift, right? A card and a thoughtful stocking stuffer or something else inexpensive if you're not exchanging gifts. We say, "Sure, let's not exchange this year" but we're hoping that you'll still be thoughtful enough to get us something anyway to show you care.

We normally have a limit but yes we try to buy something for each other. We do this not just for ourselves but to show our boys that Christmas isn't just about them give and receiving gifts Mommy and Daddy can give and receive also.

If we say it we stick to it. Usually we say it. However, the but to this is... that we do stock eachothers stockings. A few years ago we said "just the stockings this year"...so I'm thinking I get him the usual and a gift card.

I said "hey I really would like one of those hand held games, you know those $10 things at Target/Walmart...that would help when I don't have calls at work"....

Open my stocking and I got a DS! Didn't I feel like dope!

So we know are very specific in amounts and if there will be gifts of extreme value.

BTW: We only buy for the following holidays: Birthday, Anniversary, Mother's day and Fathers Day.

My husband and I many many years, stick to a stocking only deal (well, our are GIANT mittens my Momma made the whole family many years ago;-).

They stretch pretty good, so I usually attempt to stuff the dickens out of his, but you CAN still spend alot on small things! I usually find a goofy pair of Pj lounge pants(think Xbox, Mario, Halo or Gears of war characters) to roll up in there, or some socks ( an inexpensive filler for under $20). Then some candies he likes, maybe some smell-good (cologne), fancy aftershave...and if he actually made a list for his parents, as they ask us to do, there is usually some small Craftsman tools and maybe a video game, new controller or other accesory on there I could squeeze in.

Usually its the things he won't typically buy for himself unless the planets align or hes desperate or maybe gets a side job so we find ourselves with a little "bonus" cash.

The things he puts in mine are very similar and the same reasons. My $15-20 a pair smartwool socks I love but wait till they are threadbare to replace, my perfume, other luxuries or silly things that he will remember I looked at or wanted (he has an amazing recall that way so I love that most in gift givng situations..stuff from last spring he will recall, or maybe bought then and has been hanging onto since that time?? I could never do that!)

Usually he will THINK I went off program, so he will use that as an excuse, and buy me something some years (Like when I have gotten new techy toys like a book reader a few years ago...and my own laptop many years ago. But we snowmobile in the mountains (well not as much now with my neck injury and some injuries of his the past few seasons), so usually we agree to spend money on any new gear, parts or trips to go on.

But the mitten stockings are a big deal to me..a beloved family tradition. I would be fine if it was filled with some candy, socks and coupons and notes from my family..as long as I am surprised! As a small child we were very poor and often "big" gifts came from family friends who helped make our holiday special, Toys for Tots donated gifts, etc. But Mom always managed to make the overstuffed stocking a fantastically fun adventure for us that took a long time to go thru and enjoy all morning. Most things she made...hair ribbons, "fancied up" socks and toy cars and things with fabric, sequins,ribbons, glue gun and paint..she was always very talented!..along with a few candies and fruit to stretch it out and weigh it down..a new pair of PJs she made for us..always coupons for extra one on one things and to get out of chores! I loved giving away a night of dishwashing to my brother (my job, not his)...but then at some point I got his "take out the trash" one! And you never knew when it was going to strike! The older siblings were good about saving theirs up!

Sorry so long...just went that way!

Good luck!

The hubs and I pretty much stick to this every year! You need a back up agreement though, that IF anyone BREAKS the rule and gets the other person a gift, they CANNOT get mad if the other person does not reciprocate. You may want a "If you break the rule, you have to tell me in time to get something" clause. But we personally love not having the stress of getting each other gifts, we don't want any ourselves, and we just like giving to the kids. If it's honestly something you guys could do, I say go for it! We have always enjoyed it. :)

The kids have started asking us to each take them to pick presents for the other parent, which is cute since we never encouraged it. As they get older, I have a feeling they're going to pressure us into getting each other gifts :)

J.:

Nope, we've not said this. We try to keep it tame - 3 gifts each and stocking stuffers.

If you would rather spend on the kids - that's great!!

Can you volunteer at soup kitchen or at a local USO...instead of gift giving?

My hubby and I have given each other one presen. We rather buy presents for our son (only about 3 presents because he gets presents from grandparents/family). We do fun stuff with our christmas stockings just little things that are fun or unusual. Frankly, my hubby and I don't really need anything. We are trying to live more simply and modestly and focus more on the season of living a joyful life as well as giving in any way we can. Good luck!

We have always said that but somehow or another my husband never seems to follow through. He always ends up getting something for me. But this year we are having to follow this rule completely w/o question due to money issues. We are concentrating only on the kids and that goes for everyone else as well. The adults in our extended family are getting pics of our kids in a nice frame and that's it. Everyone is hurting financially so it's understandable. As long as the kids are taken care of is all that matters to us. A smile on their faces are our presents.

been married for almost 8 years, NEVER given Christmas gifts to each other:)

This will be the second year we're not doing gifts. At first my husband was a little offended, but, honestly - I buy gifts for everyone in both of our extended families and I really don't like shopping. Last year right after Christmas, the three of us took an overnight trip to a quaint town in south NJ that we love. We had an extravagant dinner at our favorite restaurant. My 12 year old daughter is a foodie and she is still talking about that meal. I just made the reservation for this year's trip - it will just be one night and dinner at that same restaurant. Total cost will probably be $300 or more. I'd rather do that than get each other gifts we really don't need.

We have not skipped gifts as of yet, but we do not go overboard either. We tend to spend $40 max each year, and many times much less.

I try this every year with my husband but he shows his love through giving gifts. I don't. So, he always ends up with a $10 item (because I want him to open something) and he always gets me something nice. ...even though we both agreed to it. I hate spending money on each other. I would rather he do something meaningful than spend money (like surprising me with something out of the ordinary...like a romantic evening, or something). I think the Christmas gift giving craze is getting out of hand; and many kids of today have way too much! Yet, I still feel the pressure. When my kids are a little older, I'm going to suggest we take all of that money and go on a trip together. That will be the Christmas to remember! ...not the one where someone gets electronics. However, I know my husband's "love language" is gift giving so how can I tell him his way is wrong and my way is right.

I have TRIED, lol. I only tried once. And I didn't do it (note the word "tried"). When I brought it up, my husband was offended. He loves doing for other people and having a sort of dysfunctional messed up childhood, he really has issues with people he expects to love him NOT making an effort to think about and find something special for him. I know, I know... it's "his" problem, and probably he needed counseling for it years ago before that became "the thing to do". But the man is 43 and he is not going to counseling over events in his life that transpired almost 40 years ago. He has made his peace (he and his brother given up by mom to be adopted by grandparents, and a boatload of accompanying related issues) and is "done". But it does still show up in the little things sometimes... like with Christmas or other special occasions (birthday, anniversary, Valentine's Day). It is all very plain to me that his childhood is where his issues with needing those gifts to feel loved come from, but is still sometimes a pain. Sometimes I just want to say-- get over it. You are not going to get "the perfect gift" from me for every occasion. But he DOES do this for ME, because he equates it all with the value he has for me and our relationship. It isn't materialistic at all, it is all emotional. And he is SO hard... he will tell me a list of things that will make him happy, but if I get 3 of them and then get something I think he might love that is NOT on his "list," then he seems disappointed that I didn't get a 4th item from the list instead of a surprise item. Then he also is disappointed if there are no surprises. So I can't really win at this. :/
So.... I brought that idea up once.... tried to get it to fly... not ever gonna happen. And I guess I'm okay with that. Got any ideas for men gifts this year, J.?

ETA: oh, and that PS3... he is SOOO not a gamer, so that is strictly a kids' gift. He couldn't care less, except that it will make the kids happy (see, I told ya he loves to do for others....)

Sounds like a smart and sensible idea, but nope, we can't do it. We don't go crazy, but it would break my heart to not give him something Christmas morning.

:)

You mean between the spouses?
We have never exchanges gifts between my husband and I on Christmas. We do it for kids, parents, grandparents.
We feel like giving gifts to each other would be redundant.
We can get what we want any time we want it, so what is the point?
We like to give gifts to those who will delight in those gifts, it is much more pleasurable.
I still have an anniversary present to choose - and I am in no hurry. Who needs another ring, or necklace, or whatever? My husband gave me cart blanche...I do not think I will get anything, anyway. Nothing seems to be worthy enough.
The best gifts are the family we have. That is how we feel. Works for us.

We have never exchanged gifts. We don't wait until one time of the year to get "things". If we want something during the year we just buy it.

We said that this year. I doubt my hubby will stick to it though. I will also end up getting him something too since he does need a new coat. The problem is I pick up things throughout the year that I know he needs or wants while I am out shopping so at Christmas there isn't much to get him. He listens to things I say I want all year even if I just mention it once and then I end up with those things for Christmas. It works out great for me but my hubby ends up with like floor mats for his truck :).

Haven't given gifts to each other since the kids were born - 20 & 17. We have all we need - no use spending money just to have a gift under the tree. Now, I do have to clarify that our anniversary is Jan. 2 and there have been times where we have given gifts to each other on THAT day - usually it's something that we "find" and just think is too good to pass up. But we don't buy at birthdays either.

For the last 5 or 6 years, we don't even buy for my parents or my brother's family OR our kids (other than 1 or 2 small things) because we adopt a family from the battered women's shelter and give THEM a Christmas!!!!

yep, we do gigts kids only, or something practical that we need not want

We've said this a few times and no we didn't stick to it. It's a nice thought and definitely understandable when trying to save money, but honestly I would be hurt if my hubby didn't get me a little something. I think one year we just did stockings, and my hubby went way overboard as did I. We've settled into 1 semi big gift a stocking and a few small gifts. The big gift is usually for the family.

Just to add that we do not exchange gifts on our anniversary or Valentines day or birthdays, only Christmas.

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Oh sure - and we usually stick to it - but I find it's more fun to atleast do a little gift - even $20 is enough to get a book or new music - and it's better to have something to open on Christmas morning. :-)

We have done it for the last four years, and plan to do it again this year. We take the money we would have spent and put it towards soemthing we need for the house, the kids, or a just the two of us vacation in the summer. :)

We have said this for 4 years now and we have done it for 4 years too. All we want is for the kids to have a great Christmas. We really don't want anything or need anything. I did have my daughter this year get a 60" tv for the family because they had a great deal up in N.C.and I am paying her for it. It's a family gift.

We've done in years where money was more tight than at other times.. and yes, we stuck to it... and even when we give gifts, we longer go overboard like we once did.. we save for birthdays :):):) hahah

We say it every year and never stick to it. But we don't get extravagant things for each other and usually only a stocking and two to four small gifts. My husband makes it difficult because if there is something he wants, he just gets it.

We have done it in the past. Usually, if we want something we buy it, so it was really hard to come up with a good Christmas gift. So I would buy a snowboard, for example, and then say: This is my Christmas gift. It worked just fine. However, there is no aspect of surprise, sneaking around, getting something you wouldn't buy for yourself. Therefore, we decided that this year my husband and I give each other ONE Santa gift. It should be a real treat - something we wouldn't buy otherwise. I think I will get my husband a Kindle and I'm really looking forward to opening his gift on Christmas.

If we do get something, we agree on a big item for the whole family and we go get it together. Otherwise, we don't exchange gifts with each other. This year we are struggling just to buy gifts for our son who still believes in Santa. He's the priority, not us.

We did that starting last year. We pretty much said that for Christmas we should focus on the kids as we always have our anniversary to celebrate with one another... hmm... we don't do gifts for anniversary either since we take care of one another throughout the year. We tend to use that occasion for a date night/going out. We actually have this with our entire family that during Christmas we only get presents for the LOs - it's just too hard, stressful, and expensive to worry about everyone.

Yes, we have done this a few times. We did buy a joint gift this year. Something we needed for the house. For us, Christmas is for the kids and giving/ helping others. That makes me feel better to see the joy on anothers face!
That is great you've been able to stick with it. Maybe you can put a sweet little note with a few chocolates (if she likes chocolate) in her stocking to surprise her ;)

Never tried it and don't plan on it. We don't 'need' anything but what I love about Christmas is that we spend money on each other on stuff we both want but don't want to buy for ourselves. True, we could do this througout the year, but we both really like buying stuff for each other and opening gifts from each other. Some years we spend $50...some years it's $200. We also buy stocking stuff for each other.

My husband has suggested it, but I always say no. I LOVE giving people gifts and refuse to not give him something (even if it's just a few things). I also want my children to see how wonderful it is to give to everyone they love :)

I never have exchanged gifts with my husband. I think we did once on our first Christmas together. Just seems silly to me I guess, and it saves us money...

We never exchange gifts. We buy what we need during the year and the rest we can live without. I'd rather save the money for bills, etc.

Yes. We have everything we want. If we want/need something, we
don't wait til Christmas. For us, it is wasteful to purchase gifts just
because of tradition. There are so many that need the smallest of
things that we take for granted.

Yes we do this every year and we spend the money on the kids.

I've stuck to it, my husband has not. Now I know better. We said it again this year and he may stick to it. We are expecting twins at the beginning of March and moving back to the east coast at the end of March, so we are really trying to save money. His birthday and our anniversary are in May, so we are going to try to do something a little bigger than usual to make up for our lack of Christmas for each other.

We have done this for several years. It's expensive buying for three kids, so we would rather spend the money on them. Plus my mom still gets me a lot for Christmas, she also gets my husband gifts, so it's not like we dont get anything. We do give each other stockings.

We have stuck to it, but it's hard when you have kids asking, "What did you get Mom?"

Our compromise is that we fill each other's stocking with a $ limit. That way everyone has something, and Santa didn't leave anyone out.

Santa only brings one toy each for the kids and one for them to share, and of course the stockings.

We also are going to take the girls shopping with each of us to buy the present for the other spouse. So, it's from A & W and Dad and vice versa.

We are sort of doing it for the first time this year. We've done and purchased a lot the last few months. House stuff, vacations etc and we both just feel we've already had out "presents". We are going to buy a few small things that are super practical so we have stuff to open on Christmas Day with the kids stuff. Having nothing under the tree for Mom & Dad would bum them out.
If you just stick to the stuff you have to buy anyway or little indulgences like clothes, household stuff, books then it doesn't seem wasteful and Christmas day is more fun. I think everyone should have at least one thing under the tree if at all possible.

We only do this with extended family. My hubby is an only child so it's easy on his side. But I have four sisters and two brothers (well one brother, my older bro passed away). We will get something for the kids, but not the adults. Not all of my siblings have children so the ones that are single I will get a little something for them. Usually a gift card or some cash.
As for each other, we usually just do small things. I wouldn't want him to not have something to open on Christmas morning.

We don't want to miss the joy of seeing the other person open our gift so we just keep it really cheap. It takes some thought to give something amounting to $5 or $10 but we have had to do it several times. We just put it in the stockings. Keeps it fun. We have never gone overboard as we don't have/need a lot of things.