Throwing a Baby Shower

I don't know the ettiquette on this, but personally, I don't think it would be wrong to throw her a shower. Everyone likes buying baby stuff and if they have a problem with it they don't need to come. The timing in between her children is completely understandable to offer another shower. Have fun!

I've known a few people who had second showers, for the same reason. I would definitely keep it low-key and small, but I would throw it for her. And if people are iffy on the registration, she should register but don't send out registry cards (most of us can figure out to search on babiesrus.com and target.com when we hear someone's having a baby.)

If people in the family don't want to go again (I wouldn't go to my husband's second-cousins second shower - no hard feelings, but I just wouldn't) they can just RSVP "no." No big deal.

My sister is pregnant again after 12 years, and we threw her a baby shower because she doesn't have one thing for a baby anymore. We kept it to around 30 people...closer family members and the friends she requested. She also did register, which I think is a good idea, because if you don't you may end up with alot of things you won't use.

I think the answer depends on the friends that you intend to invite. You might ask around to see what the reception is. I am guessing that she has a lot of "new" friends and that they would welcome a party to get together and wish her well. That said, it can look pretty tacky to have more than one shower so I think it depends on the group.

Also, it is garage sale season....maybe she can get a lot of things this summer?

Just a thought: put a funny spin on it--people love humor: "HELP-CAROL-RESTOCK-PARTY!" Carol is out ofBaby Inventory: let's help her re-stock for the newest memeber of the Smith Family! After all, isn't number three just as special!

Just make sure that there are some other inexpensive items on the registry so that people who feel like they spent a lot of money on her at one time and don't want to do it again have an easy way out...they can buy the cheaper items and still celebrate the baby!

I just threw a shower for a friend who was having her third baby. She hadn't had a baby in four years and it was her first girl. Everyone was so excited to have a reason to celebrate! I kept it simple. You could also call it a sprinkle instead of a full blown shower!

M. o all i have to say about that is things happen and she didn't know that she would have anymore kids it's a blessing you ask he so give her a baby shower if her friend and family loves her and you love then give to her and that shouldn't mind if that give here something for this baby also, it's out of love and that's all that matters.
C.

Hi M.!
When my best friend had her 2nd child (the first one was a girl, now they were having a boy) I remember saying to our mutual friend "well when should we start planning her shower?" and she said "actually they say only FIRST babies have showers?" Apparently the "ettiquite people" will say that its improper to have a 2nd shower, because the idea is that they already have everything they need.

I guess I can understand that, but it makes me sad too because that means only that first baby gets all the fanfare and celebration that the first one does at that first shower. Plus there are so many situations (like your friend's!) where sometimes they think they are done having kids and then *surprise!* here comes another one! :) I would totally want to celebrate this new child with a party and help their parents with gifts...especially now that i AM a new mom and can sympathize with how much that baby gear all costs!

I guess not everyone would feel the same way though. I wonder if there is a way to still throw a party to celebrate the new child who is on the way and present the gift option as "optional". so people who think its inappropriate can decline to bring a gift but those who want to are more than welcome to do so? I would be interested to hear what others think on this topic!

- S. :)

i dont think its rude. If she was my friend I would do what you are. Im sure most friends would want to help her out. or what i have seen people do for 2nd showers is keep it simple and register for one or two big things. then people just give a gift card. Or if you check out myregistry.com, friends can just add money to a big pot instead of gift cards. Then for fun, tell everyone to bring diapers, and if they bring diapers their name will be entered in a drawing for a gift basket. we did this at my shower and we didnt have to buy diapers until 6 months!!! I mean most baby stuff you really dont need. we have baby towels, but we usually use our towels for her. and for decoration you can but baby clothes and fasten them to a clothes line with clothes pins. everyone will love to see the cute baby clothes and the mom can take it home. im sure most people will love to join in on the festivities, its a baby!!!

Throw her the shower!!! I had a 2nd baby 9 years after my first and was SO thankful for the thoughtfulness and generosity of my family and friends that threw me a shower. A lot of the same people were there and they were the ones that got us the biggest gifts, like the car seat and stroller!

I don't think there is anything wrong with throwing her a baby shower now and having her register for anything that she needs.

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I had already gotten rid of most of my baby items because we had live in a small apt and had moved a few times since the first baby. So, my sister-in-law threw me a shower and it was very nice :)I was able to get the playpen and tons of things that we still needed (clothes, diapers, monitor, toiletries & bath items, etc...). It's always nice getting things for a new baby.

As someone else has said, if someone doesn't want to attend another baby shower, then they don't have to :) But, I'm sure there will be plenty of people who would.

M.,

I think it is very nice that you want to throw her a shower. However, I do have to disagree about multiple showers. In this day and age society has capitalized on just about everything from kindergarten graduations, 8th grade graduations and yearly birthday parties for each child I can tell you the obligations and spending endless dollars get tiring. I am expecting my second child. My first one will be two and under no circumstances do I expect a shower!!! While some of the posts indicate that there should be no etiquette I do believe that there should be. A baby shower is for a new mother and to get her off on the right start. People who chose to have multiple children whether close in age or several years apart should take this into consideration. I believe it is highly rude to think otherwise. If you chose to have a small gathering or do a collection for a nice gift great. Your choice. The ultimate choice for her to have sold her things and to have another child was soley hers.

Good luck.

I think it's very nice and helpful to throw an already mom a shoer when she hasn't had kids in a while. However, in my personal opinion, I don't think she should register. Hopefully she get enough gift cards to get the items she needs or gift receipts to exchange items. Or maybe you could do a "donatation" - ask everyone to chip in $20 or whatever they can and then you go out and buy her what she needs. That's true about summer - garage sale season. And always check out the mom's club twin resales. There might be a few more coming up. Or Craigslist. Also, I love the diaper idea... they did that for my shower (actually on my recommendation) and it's been VERY helpful. Or you can also ask that instead they give a card with their gift to buy a book instead.

What is this all about? No baby shower because of some so-called etiquette? As many holidays the media creates to capitalize through manipulation and guilt on the average consumer to by gifts? I think it is perfectly fine to have a baby shower for your sister-in-law. Is only the first child worth celebrating? Who wouldn't need diapers, outfits and toiletries for a new baby? I have two children (a 3 year old girl and a 7 month old boy) and my friends gave me a shower for each of them. At first I was concerned because of the "etiquette people" but then my friends said, "Who are they?". I didn't need any of the big ticket items but I did create a registry and my friends and family cleaned it out! :) I don't think you have to do any explaining, every child is unique, special and their impending birth should be celebrated. I am glad when my children look through the family albums they will see pictures from both of their baby showers. I don't have to say to my second child, "Well honey, "they" said it is tacky to a have a shower for you so I rejected the notion." Those people who want to rejoice with her will. Those people who are telling you not to have a shower for her, they are probably just mad because they weren't bold enough to break this unwritten rule. So ignore them.:) I have been to baby showers for women who were pregnant with their second child to women pregnant with their sixth child. Most times they had given away all the clothes, furniture and baby gear to other mothers in need. I think we should be more interested in using compassion and helping others instead of being selfish and stingy. I will get off my soap box now, but I just think people should realize if you give, it will be given back to you. If you can rejoice with someone else for their good fortune, people will want to rejoice with you for your good fortune. Hope this helps!

S.

Hi M.,

I did the exact same thing for my sister, and her children were 8 yrs apart also. I think most people understand, and also, in 8 years they sure have come up with some new items that she would need anyhow. I also did this for my cousin who was "done" and got pregant with twins. Mother's understand how this can be expensive and should be more than happy to attend and help out.
Have a great shower! ;-) H.