To Tee Pee or Not Tee Pee Att Parets on Pre-Teens and Teenagers!

Why not do something nice? like getting 10-20 flower bunches (each about 6 flower stems) from the dollar store and separate the flowers stems and 'plant' them in their yard... it would look nice, they'd have the addrenaline rush of doing something sneaky... at the same time not destructive. so 'flower' the house/yard instead of TP the house....?

Oh gee...
I think the usual $1000 dollar FINE for littering says it all.
How inappropriate.
Just tell her no, and get it over with.

Oh boy could I tell you a story!! My ex husband several years ago, took my youngest then, 13 and her friends to do the same thing for her birthday party! The family who's home was TP'd was very VERY upset as they were having a HUGE event in their home the next morning. I was at the time unaware of this but they got tipped off that it was my daughter and called ME!!! I was sooo embarassed and not too happy with my ex as you could imagine. We ended up taking the girls back there in the morning to clean up. At the end of the day all was well but I'd NEVER let that happen again just in case. P.S. scavenger hunts at the mall organized by you are a fun alternative. Some malls even have a map and plans for that. My girls are in their 20's now and we still talk about that as a most embarassing thing!! Good Luck!!

No way...I would not consider defacing someone else's property with toilet paper-what a mess! Unless their home is a toilet I don't think it needs to be decorated with tp. How is this an acceptable activity for a bday party? What is lined up next - Maybe a few beer bongs or Spray panting someone's garage? I am obviously using sarcasm, but I think you should teach your daughter to respect people's homes and property and that there are better ways to have a good time than at the expense of others.

As a retired police officer, I can assure you TeePeeing some ones home is both vandalism and littering. Most police officers will make you clean it up instead of taking the kids to juvy, however, do you want to take a chance you will get a police officer that is having a good day rather than a bad day? Depending on the time they choose to do this it could also be a curfew violation. Parents accompanying kids doing this could be charged contributing to the deliquency of a minor (a separate charge with each kid participating). Each child's parent would have to come down and pick up their child. How would that affect your relationship with the children's parents? In the final analysis, you have to ask yourself, "Is the 'fun' worth the possible consequences?" BTW, if you take along a younger child so they won't be left home alone you could run afoul of child welfare. And everyone has heard horror stories of the "competance" of child welfare workers.

It feels like she is being a bit manipulative by guilting you into this. "Look MOM! Take me to do it or be responsible when I go out and do it anyway and get into trouble (possibly)". Whoa. How's about you tell her if she NEEDS to do this, to do your house. She will have a whole new perspective when SHE gets to clean it up in the morning! Maybe a bit harsh but there's just many more healthy activities she can do.

A side point on why I feel so firmly on this: My mom was the mom who let us party, provide booze, drove us around, made sure "we were doing it safely"...FF to now (I only graduated in 2001) We barely speak! It just changed the whole relationship. It was great having a mom who was my friend, but when I got a friend who could "butt in" and be my mom every now and again, it just crumbled. Once you cross the line into being "cool friend who pays for everything territory" it is nearly impossible to become mom again. She has plenty of friends, she needs you to be her influence. She'll thank you later for it. --Although she will probably curse you now.

For the last 9 years, it has been impossible to 'redefine' our relationship so we both just stay away. I would give anything to have my mom back. HIH

Alright....I say you ask her a couple questions first...

1) Will they be T.Ping a friends house or an enemy's house?
2) Is she willing to get up early the next day and clean it up?

If she wants to do it to a friend and is willing to clean it up then I say go for it!

If she was planning on doing it to someone she does not like, I think I would have to say NO...it's too mean-spirited...

We did this stuff as kids...it was FUN! You get to go out in the dark and be all stealthy like - which is almost impossible with all the giggling! We *almost* always helped with the clean up and we never *really* got into trouble because someone got upset.

~I would caution to only sticking to the landscaping...climbing on a house to get wet TP off is not fun or safe!

You obviously have a nice healthy relationship w/your daughter that she is talking to you about her plans....in our group of friends that went out doing this, there were always those that had parents permission and always those who wouldn't even consider talking to their parents....those of us who had permission always seemed to have more fun!~If she is a good kid...let her have some fun mom...it won't really do any harm to anybody!

*If the people have any sort of wall sconces/light fixtures by the front door, you can make a wall of TP, either cascading down or crossing over the front door so when they open it...it is a wall of TP....HA...TOO FUNNY!

***I just read all your other posts and am dumbfounded...as I am sure you are as well....so many different opinions.....

One of the other moms posted something about flowers in the yard instead. This is a good idea. You can probably go to the dollar store and buy those fake bunches of flowers and cut off the flower part and spell something out in the yard...or something like that? This would be just as fun w/out any fear of being charged with vandalism or involving the police in any way. What ever you decide I am sure your daughter will understand.

Besides it being illegal (which should be enough of a reason right there), nobody has mentioned how this will affect the targeted child's parents (and I'm sure it will be another child's house, whether friend or foe). Even if they agree to clean it up in the morning, those parents will still have to spend their morning supervising those kids who will be on their property. Whatever they had planned for that day will have to be put on hold. This happened to me around this age and my parents were angry (they also used eggs on my brother's car, in addition to the TP), embarrassed and disappointed in my friends.The eggs on the car caused them a great deal of distress throughout the morning, because they didn't know if the car had been ruined. Even if the tp'ers agree to clean it up, it is much harder to take off than it is to put on, especially once the dew (or sprinklers as someone mentioned) gets on it. And how are they going to get the parts that get stuck up in the trees? They may throw it up and over, but do you have the means to transport a very tall ladder over there the next day?

By the way, the girls who did this to me, I considered to be my close circle of friends. And although we are still friends 30 (yes 30!) years later, I did not feel "honored." I felt targeted. I couldn't figure out why they had had a little private party that I wasn't invited to and then chose to do that. Although I had been friends with some of these girls since 2nd grade, it was not done "with love." Even though it is ancient history and I never think of it unless the subject is brought up, it still makes me feel bad when I remember that day. Just so you know, I acted as if it wasn't that big of a deal and didn't show that it really had made me feel bad. And once we got past it, we went on to remain friends. So just because the other kid laughs it off, don't be so sure that it didn't really hurt their feelings. Being 13 is hard enough; please don't assist your daughter in laying this on another child.

And, honestly, asking your mom to drive you, warning the other family ahead of time and agreeing ahead of time to go back and clean it up is just lame!

Good luck! I know you'll make the right decision.

Why do some of you judge those who think TP-ing is wrong as people “without sense of humor”? How is it funny to mess up and disrespect another person’s property, whether the owners agree to it or not? I’m not uptight as some people might think, and I do have a life, but I honestly don’t find the humor in this. Why?

1. It clearly shows disrespect to the owners of the property, the neighborhood and the environment.

2. It teaches our kids to be inconsiderate, thinking only of their own “fun and excitement” at the expense of others.

3. It promotes waste of time (being destructive, not to mention having to clean up the morning after) and money (toilet paper isn’t free).

4. It teaches our kids that that it’s ok to not be accountable for your actions or to be mindful of its consequences.

Having said that, I just can’t justify how TP-ing can be classified under good, CLEAN fun. Tell her this, and have her read all the other posts about it being against the law. And just because “everyone else” is doing it, has done it, tolerates it or finds it funny, doesn’t make it right. That by itself is an objective argument. There are other ways to have a 13-year-old have fun that doesn’t involve the mess that TP-ing does in more ways than one.

I did not read the other responses but my answer is

NO NO and NO it is considered VANDALISM. I'm all for having a good time and I am no stick in the mud but this is VANDALISM.

Last May we were tee pee'd for the 4th time. Except this time, they added eggs, mustard, squirt cheese and sugar. We filed a police report and we would not hesitate to press charges.

It is a HUGE cleanup mess, disrespectful and deserves the punishment that is given. Around here, there is a fine and it goes on the record of the people who do it.

Another true story..... A neighbor witnessed another neighbors home being tp'd. Unknowingly to the MOM driver who drove the teens to this home, the neighbor got the car description and picture of car tag. This MOM was friends with the people whose home she was allowing her children to TP.

In the end, MOM was horribly embarrassed when the police approached her and the participants. Yes, they were fined and the girls who did it got in trouble as well.

I'm all for fun but this is not good clean fun. My daughter asked to do it ONCE before it happened to us. We said ABSOLUTELY not and she whined that everyone does it. Well, after it happened to us all 4 times, she was out of her bed at 530am helping clean it up and she told us she understands why we said NO.

Be the parent......not the friend

Gee, it's swell that she shared this with you, but, honestly, would you REALLY consider having anything to do with this??? Maybe you should have her TP your house and then have her clean up all of the mess the next day and see how she feels about it then.

First if you decide to do it make sure all the parents of the other children are made aware and given a choice if they want their child to participate because it could get you into hot water. Second maybe ask a friend if your daughter can do their house so they can have fun then give them all a surprise field trip the next morning to clean it up. They may not think it is that fun after all and will not want to do it again. That may teach them to be respectful of other people because teens don't think of the concequences of their actions or other people that may be affected.

The retired police officer is absolutely correct. I am a lawyer and work in the courts in the southeast area. I have had juvenile clients charged with vandalism for this behavior. Just because you guys are willing to clean it up doesn't mean anything--it is still against the law. And even if the homeowner doesn't want to press charges, it doesn't matter. This is a completely different time from when we were teenagers. I admit I used to TP when I was a teenager, but again, times have completely changed. You yourself can be charged with contributing to a delinquency of a minor and regardless of whether you have any younger children in the car with you, DCFS will be called. For those who are saying it's just good clean fun, come walk in my shoes for a minute and try representing a distraught 13 year old charged with felony vandalism and a District Attorney who won't listen that it's "just good clean fun."

It's illegal in our area. In the fall, the local kids football/cheerleading clubs do it (cheerleaders do the players homes and vise versa) for fun, but they get permission from the police and from the homeowners where they're TPing. Still, some neighbors complained last year and my nephew's team was stopped by the police and asked to stop and leave the area. Pretty traumatic for the kids. I guess they were being too loud. I would find something else to do (or check with the police ahead of time to see if you could be arrested for doing it).

I disagree that ding dong ditch is a good alternative. Depends on where you live, but I would be pretty upset if people were ringing my doorbell at night and disappearing. Especially if I were home alone.

Besides all of the reasons everyone else has stated, the flowers on our trees are so beautiful right now. It's one of my favorite simple pleasures as I drive in and out of my driveway. I would be devastated to have all of them fall off from having to use brooms, etc to get TP out of the branches.

Do you know a police officer by chance? Could you take a quick trip to your local precinct and talk to the desk clerk. Have your daughter ask if such behavior is considered vandalism and what the consequences can be. ;) That should give you plenty of support in a decision to NOT support her behaving like a hooligan.

I can't believe that a 13 year old girl would really ask to do this. And I can't believe that you are actually considering letting your daughter trespass and throw litter on someone else's property.

If they came near my house, I would not be laughing. I would be calling the police.

My daughter wanted to do this also, so I arranged with a mom in the neighborhood to allow us to do this. We did not do this in a destructive manner and instead we decorated for Valentines day using streamers, heart stickers, toliet paper etc. I told the girls that we would be cleaning the house up in the morning and I did not tell the girls that our neighbor knew until the morning. Again, the focus was to do something that was fun but not destructive. You could do something for St. Patrick's day if your daughter's birthday is near that holiday. I asked my neighbor is she would leave her car unlocked so we could leave some fun things in there. I texted her before and after we left so she could lock the car. Another fun thing that we have been doing is scavenger hunts thru the mall. You can find list on line. It was a blast.

Warmly,

A.
www.naturesbaby.com

First, thank her for discussing it with you. (Her belief that it's ok to TP someone's home is typical teen, AND poor judgment. Your role as Mom is to help her develop better judgment. ) Talk with her about how the people will feel whose homes are TP'd, who will have to clean it up etc. I guess that, if she really wants to TP a home, one way to do it would be to TP your home, with your permission. That way, she can also be part of the clean-up which is the most fun part of it (NOT), and she can TP without doing harm. If you and she are not willing to have her do that to your home, then how will someone else feel? She could also research online how many trees go into a case of toilet paper and see whether she thinks it's a good use of trees. Those are just the top of my head thoughts, but TPing is a bad idea. If she does not have the capacity to recognize that, it's up to you as her mother to teach her, or to prevent her from doing something that is an annoyance at the mildest. It's unkind, bad for the environment, and not the way that I would want a kids to have "fun." Good luck.

You being uncomfortable with it says you know in your gut you shouldn't do it! We as parents should not encourage behavior we don't want to see from them. Taking her says you don't care if her and her friends do this in the future.

Honestly, I'm shocked you even asked this.

Wow, I think that's totally inappropriate! Just think as an adult, a parent, and a home owner (or at least home dweller) how you would feel if one of the kids in your neighborhood tee pee'd your house. And then to find out the the other kid's mom helped! As parents it's our job to socialize our kids and teach them good citizenship habits and tee peeing someone's house is just plain wrong, but if you take her and her friends you are telling her that it's OK. I think this whole "I'd rather my kids do it with me than behind my back" thing has gone too far. We're the parents, not the girlfriends! You have to put your foot down and nip that argument in the bud. It's not about you doing it with me or behind my back-you're not gonna do it! And if you do, there are consequences for your actions! How else can we teach our kids to be responsible citizens?!?

Are you kidding me???!!!!! You are actually considering this? OMG! Your a parent BEFORE being her cool best friend. How disrespectable! I would be PISSED even if one my kids friends did to be funny. And let me tell you, I'm cool and fun with my 13 and 14 year old kids and with their friends. I would never think of doing that to them or them to me. How about some decent common sense. I'm sorry, but it's just wrong all around! This is the age where kids will challenge their parents to see what they can get away with - what's next? Then parents wonder why their kids get in trouble later on in life and you see kids blaming the parents... "you said I could do it." Kids need boundaries - give them!

As a mother of 14 year old twin girls I can honestly say that their reality and what they think is wrong or right baffles me on a regular basis. I appreciate your daughter's honesty and she should be commended for that, but it does not negate the fact that what she wants to do is technically wrong. Why don't you check with your local police and see how they view tee-peeing from a crime/vandalism standpoint, especially if the culprits were caught in the act. This may give you more information for your conversation with your daughter. And since the parents at the house that gets tee-peed will probably not be happy, you should not help your daughter do an act that would make others unhappy and she should not want to do an act that would make others unhappy. To me, this is the basic lesson here. Good luck to you.

Wow J., you've gotten a lot of interesting answers. There are some pretty venomus ladies out there..although I'm not surprised by this, it's one of the reasons I'm hesitant to be in "ladies groups"
It is obvious that there are many different reasons for tping a house. Yes, a lot of us have done it and we had fun! I do think it is good that your daughter talked to you and was honest enough to admit the "behind your back" issue. And, it also sounds like you didn't fly off the handle (like some ladies did to you) and are taking time to think about it. Hopefully your daughter will see this and it will help to keep her coming back to you in this open and honest way!
Like some of the woman said, I think this could be a good teaching time for you and her. It is vandalism and so against the law. I believe to go down this path with your child, it will eventually turn very slippery. Parents who have that viewpoint of "Better with me then behind my back", are the same parents who have parties at their house and buy beer for the kids, or allow their teens to sleep with their boyfriend/girlfriend in their house. OBVIOUSLY I am not saying that if you let her TP, then you must or will let her drink and have sex in your home....I'm saying that thought process, although small at first, can lead to some interesting things. I guess what I'm saying is, where does it stop then? And how do you explain it to your child? Against the law, is against the law. It's a line that is already drawn for you, so let the law take the fall on that one.
I also am a bit of a green freak, and so LOVE the whole waste of toilet paper and whatnot. That is true. I also like the secretly calling ahead idea. Someone had mentioned having their car messed with. Honestly, I don't know the law on that one....but if that's ok, that might be a good way to go - along with the secret call ahead and the understanding that the girls will be cleaning up their mess the next day.
I do hope you don't think I've gone overboard on this. The saying, "what you do in moderation, your kids will do in excess" is true (most of the time :) You may be aware this time and go with them, but it just may give her the allowance to do something another time and not talk to you about it. Figuring that "mom will think it's ok".
Hope you have a great party! We surprised our 13 year old with a party and it was great fun! :-) PARTY ON!

You sure had a lot of responses. I tee pee'd a lot as a teen and loved it until someone came out and grabbed my best friend and threatened to call the police. I don't like my kids to tee pee but I'm over protective because there are so many shootings around where we live. I keep them inside at night. If you're not feeling comfortable, then go with your gut. There is a "red flag" in your gut for a reason. She'll get over the disappointment of not being able to toilet paper someone's trees. I'm sure she'll have an awesome birthday know matter what's in store at night! Good luck!

My daughter did that in junior high school and when I found out, I made her and her friends go and clean it up afterwards. They had NO IDEA how difficult the clean up was ... they never did it again!

I would say if they are going to do it, they should be required to go and offer to clean it up the next day.

Are you seriously off your rocker? You'd aid and abet your daughter and her friends out and promote messing up someone's house? I know that there are just some things that kids do behind parents backs. I'll admit that I TP'd a few houses in my teenage days (plus other things my Mom would rather not know about), but I NEVER would have asked my MOM to help me! And, even as a teenager, my friends and I knew better than to TP during the winter when it might rain!! OMG, think of the impossible mess to clean up! Come on, be the parent here!

And will you, your daughter and her friends be returning first thing in the morning to clean up the mess?? I would be super ticked if I awoke to that mess on my lawn. Not to mention embarassed.

inappropriate to teach a child

I can't even believe that this is a debate. Yes, it doesn't hurt anyone, but it is a pain in the butt and time consuming to clean up. I was never taught nor will I teach that messing up someone elses' property is fun. No wonder children today, don't have a sense of responsibility. "If I dont get caught, it is ok". I'm a young mom, and like to go out and have fun, but not at the expense of someone else. If she does it, then she needs to go clean it up. If you get caught by the police, don't cry that it was a harmless prank when they fine you.

She really has you in a pickle at this point - you could either humor her and her friends with your acquiescence, or she can go behind your back and then claim that you knew about it if they got caught. In either case, it's obvious that many have read about your situation through their own glasses and responded according to their own values. (Disclaimer: I did TP a house once with a group of people, and regretted it even though I never got caught - my conscience and sense of empathy kicked in far too late.)

In situations like these, when you know that it only takes the smallest of triggers for your daughter to switch from calling you "the best ever" to "the worst ever," you have to remind yourself that you are not her best friend - you are her mom. Moms are primary models for behaviors that they would like to see passed on to their children and grandchildren. Because of that important role, you need to decline.

Of course, there is a good chance that your daughter will react negatively to your response and you'll hear all sorts of mean things for a few minutes, but that is what usually happens when teenagers don't get what they want. However, you can see it this way: she will remember this 13th birthday many years from now, and hopefully with your help she will remember the lesson you taught her in saying "no" to TP'ing rather than the clearly inappropriate "yes."

TPing people's houses is basically a mild form of vandalism. Unless she's willing to go clean it up bright and early the next morning I would say absolutely not. Cleaning TP out of trees (esp after the dew falls) is a nightmare. Worse if you have an auto sprinkler system and it "waters" the paper turning it into a gummy mass. I think you should frame this less about what SHE wants and more about how this will affect the other person.

You've received a lot of answers but I just want to add my own two cents. Several years ago, my parents house was TPd and it was not a good experience. We're not stick-in-the-muds, nor do we lack a sense of humor. We were confused and embarrassed for several reasons. We had recently moved to the States so had no understanding that this was a teenage prank, my father was terminally ill and my mother had her hands full taking care of him. Coming from another country, this felt like an act of vandalism and my parents couldn't understand what they had done to merit it. I cleaned it up (and it took a lot longer than 10 minutes - the house is surrounded by tall pines and they had TPd every tree. It took most of the morning to clean it all up).

Perhaps if the other family is in on the joke and the teenagers who do it help clean it up, it would be a different experience. But if you're not comfortable with it, then don't do it. I agree with whoever said that you're the parent. There are far better (and more fun) ways to celebrate a 13th birthday!

V.

Hmmm- would you like to be the recipient of such an attack on your house? I am thinking not, so please keep your daughter and her friends from doing it to anyone else. Thanks!

TPing somebody's house is cool to young teenagers because they are sneaking out and doing something their parents don't want them to do. Asking your mom for a ride is kinda goofy. This is my expert opinion and in my younger years I was quite talented as a master TPer. Not to encourage her to sneak out and misbehave but it is definitely a no parents allowed excursion plus you could get in trouble! How would the other mom's feel about you driving their kids all over to tear up somebody's yard? You aren't too conservative. It's silly teenager behavior...you aren't supposed to do it! What if you started wearing skull leggings and sporting a mohawk! That's silly teenager behavior too! If you do decide to do it shoot me a message and I can give you all kinds of evil tee peeing tricks ;-}

Stand strong and be a conservative mom. It's really wasteful, but the other family receiving it still has to spend their time cleaning it all up. It's really all in good fun they think. My daughter has never wanted to do it. Her choice was if she did it, I would take her back the next day to help clean up. We had a bad experience while house/dog sitting for a friend and their family while they were gone for 2 weeks. There were some girls at church that liked the boy that lived there. They teepee'd and cheez whiz'd and oreo'd the card, trees, garage door, house door. This was during a really cold winter and I was really sick with a chest cold. My daughter brought her friend to go take their dog for a walk and we ended up having to clean everything. The worst part is they did all the food on his father's prized Acura TL. I called the families of these girls, no one answered. Then when I saw them later that week, one of the mom's said "how did you know it was my daughter?" I said I just knew because they act all giddy around this kid. Well she admitted it and all the girls involved. Not one said sorry you had to clean up our mess or anything. It left a really bad taste in my daughter's mouth and she has never even wanted to attempt to teepee! It's your choice, but I wouldn't go for it!

Ok, it matters on WHO they are TPing and are they going to get up early the next morning for clean up? Are they TPing someone the girls have a crush on or one of their own houses? If the latter then I would be all for it, the crush would be ok if the parents knew it was going to happen and that the girls would be back some time the next day to clean it up.

Where I grew up this was vandalism and the police would be called. If the people who did it were caught, they have to clean it up and do community service. Not a cool thing to have on your record.

Wow, you got a lot of responses!
I think this is a little disrepectful. Think of what that person will have to go through to clean up the mess. Not cool. I would tell her "I have listened to what you have to say, and I think that it is not a good idea.".......PERIOD.
Good luck!

Oh my stars!!!! You just don't get it at all. If this is for a friends house then go for it!!! The day I woke and had been T.P.'d was the best morning EVER! I finally knew my friends liked me...the band kids had to plan an escape route, got together and met somewhere, hide the vehichles off my street, snuck around my house at night, had to be quiet, and, T. P.'d me right after I made Twirler. It was the best day ever! I was happy to clean it up.

T. P.ing is more symbolic of acceptance then ANY thing else, it's not supposed to be mean or degrading or damaging. It's supposed to be fun and harmless.

Find out who they want to T. P. and call the other mom and ask her for permission. Ask her to keep it a secret/surprise.

Why would you let your daughter do this? tee peeing is like taging and messing up someones house. Think about how you would feel if you woke up and relized that there was toilet papper all over your frount yard and YOU had to clean it up. Also other people might not think its funny and might call the cops, cause it is concidered vandelizing. (is that how you want your daughter to spend her 13th Birthday.) So in my opinion Do not let her do it. It is just wrong!!!

A.

While my first reaction was No Way, I read Laurie A's post and reconsidered. If the target house or houses are on the list for positive reasons, then it may be worth asking the parents if they would have a sense of humor about it. The parents know, the target kid stays in the dark. And the kids clean up the next day anyway.
It's certainly less damaging than cow-tipping.

This is horrible. You should never do this to anyone. It happened to us once and it still makes us made and unhappy. If I knew you did it to my house
I would call the police. You should teach you daughter to respect people's homes and not make them so unhappy. Where is your mind? I wish you were my neighbor , I would call the police everytime I saw your daughter with
paper. You don't get how horrible this can be to a home owner.
B. v.O.

I do hope you say NO. It's vandalism, and not a good example to set for a young girl. Instead, get her friends together for dinner and something fun...maybe pedicures and makeovers/movies at your home. Much more appropriate for a teen.

Look at what a firestorm you started! :-)

You've gotten some great responses, and I didn't read through all of them. But here are my two cents. Is this a friend or a "friend" that she wants to play this prank on? If s/he is a real friend, why was s/he not invited to your daughter's party? I only ask this, because if this is actually a mean-spirited prank, then it could backfire on your daughter. Calling the parents ahead of time to see if this is okay is a great idea. The last thing you want to happen is for your daughter and her friends to be charged with vandalism. Or you might get retaliation in the form of something worse than TP.

My brother-in-law and his friends tee-peed someone's house when they were in high school. (Or maybe it was middle school...) Anyway, they were caught charged with vandalism. Since teenagers don't understand the long term consequences of their actions, you need to help them understand. If your daughter is arrested and/or convicted of vandalism, this could preclude her from being accepted to the college of her choice. One of my husband's friends took someone's car for a joy ride (w/o permission) when he younger than 18 years old. While this was expunged from his record after he turned 18, it still prevented him from ever becoming an FBI agent -- which is something he really wanted. I know vandalism is relatively minor, but why take the chance?

As long as the friend's parents are okay with it, I say let the girls have fun. But if not, I will remind you that a lot of people own guns. If the homeowners don't know what's going on and think that your daughter and her friends are intruders, things could go very very wrong.

*** I just realized that you posted this more than a week ago. If your daughter already had her party, please let us know how everything went! :-)

I will admit to having done this a few times in high school, even to the track coach after we won state championship, but then it was done to me. Thank goodness my friends knew how angry my mom would have been if they had tp'd the house, so instead they just got my car sitting out on the street. They smeared toothpaste all over the car, vaselined the door handles, and then wrapped the whole thing in saran wrap. It took me an hour to get the windows clean enough that I could drive to the car wash to clean the rest of it. Oh, did I mention that it was March in Michigan and it was 25 degrees outside? While I was a good sport about it (cuz hey, don't dish it if you can't take it!) I learned the error of my ways and never did it to anyone else ever again.

I think this is long standing prank almost every kids enjoys. The family who owns the home does not! How about asking the girls that if they want to do it, they also must clean it up. Absolutely, they should ask the person ahead of time-- or else it is seen (and viewed by police) as vandalism.

I have heard of parents speaking to the prospective t-pee'ees to get approval with a strict agreement that in the morning the girls will be responsible for clean-up.

I have lived in Texas my entire life, and I've never heard of it being a good thing. Maybe it depends on what part of Texas you live in.

At any rate, I vote for not not tee-peeing houses. It creates a huge mess, is disrespectful to property owners, not just of the home that is tee-peed, but of neighbors as well, and it teaches teenagers that they can break the law as long as they don't get caught. There are plenty of other activities for 13 year olds to have fun doing.

I hope your daughter has a great birthday, whatever she ends ups doing! :-)

Are you her mom or friend?

My child wanted to do the same thing! I ask them who they wanted to TP and then called the parents (not telling my child I was calling them and also asking the other parents to not let their children know about it). I ask the parents if they would mind having their house TP'd. I also offered to have the kids come over in the morning if they wanted to have them clean it up!
It was fun for all and I think the other parents really appreciated the call to ask if it was OK! Hope you have fun!

Agree only if she agrees to go back the next day and clean it up see how she reacts to that good luck you are teaching your daughter responsability smart mom A. no hills raised 4 wonderful children now have 7 grandchildren

I would never allow my children to disrecpect someones property like that or in any other way. Even if they know the people who live in the house they want to tee pee. Granted it is awesome she came to you, just remember sometimes you have to be more parent than friend.

Maybe you could take them on a late night scavenger hunt instead. Being out late at night when your 13 is awesome, maybe she just doesn't know what else to do besides tee pee someones house. Have each girl pick a partner and give them a flashlight and list. The lists could even be different to make it harder. They'll still be out late at night.

Updated

I would never allow my children to disrecpect someones property like that or in any other way. Even if they know the people who live in the house they want to tee pee. Granted it is awesome she came to you, just remember sometimes you have to be more parent than friend.

Maybe you could take them on a late night scavenger hunt instead. Being out late at night when your 13 is awesome, maybe she just doesn't know what else to do besides tee pee someones house. Have each girl pick a partner and give them a flashlight and list. The lists could even be different to make it harder. They'll still be out late at night.

I don't understand this TPing thing at all, what's the point, where's the fun in this? It just seem mean to me. I think you should point out more positive actions or activities that she can do aside from vandalizing a poor family like that.

I think it's OK, as long as they help with the clean up the next day, and you should probably let the person being tp'd know before that they're doing it so they don't call the police or come out yelling if they hear the kids, and so that they know the kids will clean it up. Take them over the next day and take pictures for their album, then let them clean it up.

I like the idea of holiday decorations (green toilet paper?). A scavenger hunt can also be a lot of fun - we've had the neighborhood kids do that a few times, and it's fun for us too to see if we have the items they are looking for (spoon from Baskin Robbins, pink hairbow).

As long as you get the parents permission as to who they want to do then ok or even just do the girls houses that are with you just don't let them know you asked there parents but of course they will be having a lot of fun cleaning it up.

My kids are too young to TP and when I was a kid it was bad to be tp'd. Things ahve changed. If your house is tp'd it is a sign that you are cool. what ever-stupid, but so are the kids that smoke to look cool. So, if you are hesitant, you could ask another parent if it is okay if you tp their house. i guarantee she doesn't want to do a random house, she wants to do a certain person's house. and then-yes, take them over to clean in the am.

I admit, I TP'd a few houses in my youth. That said, I have never had to deal with the mess of TPing. I imagine it's a pain to clean up. Frankly, this day in age, I wouldn't do it. Personally I would feel guilty about the mess, but also people are just too uptight anymore and it's doubtful they would find it funny.

Make her ask permission first and agree to clean it up in the morning. Once she discovers how big a pain it is to clean it up she may not want to do it again. And knowing that she'll have to answer to the people she TPs she may decide to make sure no other harm comes to the house.

Some may think this an innocent rite of passage but it just teaches disrespect of others property. When kids do it to their friends homes as jokes that is one thing_ in our neighrborhood a group of kids targeted the elderly couple down the street, their mom said it was all harmless fun. The elderly couple didn't think so when they were faced with cleaning the mess and we terrified when they didn't initially know who did it.

Wow....I'm surpised at all of the negative postings here. I hadn't really thought about it....since I did it when I was 12 and my mom drove us to a cute boy's house, that was my "boyfriend" at the time. My mom limited the amount of toilet paper we could use, but we had SO much fun....AND they had all of their lights on and were walking around inside right by the windows. We thought for sure, we'd get caught and I think my mom did, as well. She took us just a little after dark and honestly, I really never had the desire to toilet paper again. It was fun, and they knew who did it, so I'm not sure if my mom tipped them off...but the next morning, I know I ended up at thier house helping to clean it up, which was fine with me.

We've been TPed and as long as it doesn't rain or get really wet that night, it takes less than 10 minutes to clean up. I just laughed and my parents said that they were sure it wasn't their friends, so my brother and I cleaned up every last piece. I was not embarrassed - it was just a prank...and really, it doesn't physically hurt anyone.

When I was 16 and invited to Prom, this guy wanted to take me TPing after Prom in a limo....I was like, Ummmmm, no thanks. I think the interest inTPing time frame is short.

PS As far as doing it with you or doing it without you - I sort of get that....but make sure she's not manipulating you. I had the same talk with my mom, but I was 20. My boyfriend was coming back from a 3 month trip to see his family overseas and I was picking him up at the airport, so I told my mom that I was going to Santa Barbara for the weekend with him, once I picked him up from LAX. She didn't agree, and I told her that I was 20 and I was going to go, so I just wanted her to know where I was, rather than lying to her. Did I mention I was 20, in college, and paying my own way? Not 13.

Good luck. My daughter is 23 months and I can't even believe I get to deal with these things again.... LOL

Tee pee your own house. Have her clean it up and then see if she still wants to do it.

I totally understand how you are feeling, as a parent to a 14 1/2 yr old boy. My mom told him that she took me tee peeing around 13 or 14, so he was continuously asking me to take him or let him go with friends. We finally gave in and said yes, my husband bought him the toilet paper and said have fun, but remember to be responsible and not destructive! We also told him, if and when we get tee peed, the mess will be his to clean up. =) Since then, it has been a moot point, as the toilet paper still sits in his closet. Once given permission, it became less important to him. Worked for us, so good luck.

I would have her read a few select responses from here (mostly the ones about vandalism) and then try to sway the activity to something more safe. I really liked the idea of the scavenger hunt. If you live in a safe enough neighborhood make them up lists of random items and set them free in pairs. To make sure they don't have time to get into too much trouble, set a time limit. They will think of it more as a challenge to get back faster than a "curfew"!

As always, go with your gut! Hope she has a great b-day!

(AND If she insists on TPing, have her do your house, then make all the girls clean it up in the morning. It will get it out of their systems and maybe teach them what a pain in the butt clean up would be...)

Oh to be 13. I would put myself in the shoes of the person whose home is the target of the TPing and figure out how they would feel about cleaning the mess up. It ain't pretty. Maybe if on the condition that she goes by in the morning and cleans it up, she could do it?

Presumably, she wants to TP the home of someone she knows, so it's not a stretch if she volunteers to clean it up the morning after.

Hi J.,

Wow did you sure get a lot of uptight people responding. Things are way different these days. Gone are the good old days of fun. I remember being in our neighbors house late at night with my siblings when it got Tee peed. We were terrified because we didn't know what was happening and all the noises on the roof etc. Turned out the neighbors daughter had won a swimming competition and this was a way they wanted to honor her. Go and figure, but it was all in fun and we all had a laugh with it. I personally love the scavenger hunt idea. We did these at my slumber parties. It is a safer way to go, it is not worth getting in trouble with the law or an unhappy homeowner.
Hope the party is a lot of fun!

we used to do this all the time in High school, but if you really think about it, it is vandalism... plus, it's messy for the homeowner who is targeted...

Our kids have been teepeed - and they have to clean it up. Once the kids cleaned it all up and left the bags out front. We went to church, when we came back, it was all over the yard again! LOL So, they cleaned it up again!
And, we have taken our kids to teepee - as long as it's in fun to someone they actually like - not malicious because they dislike them - and no property damage is allowed, and if they get caught - they have to clean it up!
We have a teacher on our block who is ALWAYS getting teepeed and we feel so sorry for him, that we put his house off limits! In fact, we've had our kids go down and help him clean up.

I agree with Veronica H, you should agree to it if the other teen and her parents know about it and the teens that are going to tee pee will help clean the next day. You are her parent, but you can support her while she has a little honest fun. However, i do think it would be wrong to take her to tee pee a place where the parents and teen are unaware of their house getting tee peed. You are the parent and you shld show her that mean things aern't ever right. What if someone tee peed her house? How would she feel when the whole school was talking about it and pointing fingers at her?

I am older, a grandmother & my husband is a real commical guy...a couple months ago I was shutting down the house at midnight & discovered a bunch of teens dressed like ninjas T.P.ing our house...a car awaited them down the street & when I confronted them they fled. I had no idea who they were but we thought of the possibilties. The next A.M. a disguised voice called & made jokes about it...caller I.D. revealed that it was my husbands nephews house...come to find out it was what his nephews daughter wanted to do for her birthday! The mom (stepmom actually) was driving the get away car. We are planning to get even in the middle of the night by doing the same (after they've forgotten of course) but also staking signs in the ground about getting even, dont trust these people etc.! We love a good prank & laugh about it & it was endearing that she wanted to do Uncle Steves house because he is the funny guy in the family. Lucky for us, we cleaned it at midnight, before it had a chance to get wet & stick. It wont go as easy for them when we get even!!! hehehe! I think the outcome depends on the nature of the persons house they choose to T.P. If they appreciate a good joke then go for it! But think twice if they have no sense of humor, I would not want to T.P. the house of a person who is a "stick-in-the-mud"!!!
bye the way...the girl is 13

I say NO. I understand that some kids are doing this for 'positive' reasons, but who wants that mess in their trees? Even if the girls clean up, how will they get all of it down? Why not challenge them to do something new and creative? Maybe they could make fun signs and put them in friends' yards. Also, I would check with parents before doing anything to their houses. I would be FURIOUS if someone did this to our house!

I thought it might help to get a teenager's opinion in here.

I am thirteen years old and a freshman in High School as well as being enrolled in an online school, so I'm not positive what a public school student might say, but I do know a couple of facts. :)

Not all TPing is bad! My best friends and I have TPed my brother's car and a family friend's (knowing he didn't have anywhere important to go and if he did he could take one of the other cars and the family friend would have fun with it and wouldn't mind) and afterward the family friend ended up wrapping herself in the toilet paper we had used on the inside of her car and made herself into a TP-mummy. It's pretty fun to TP my room or my sister's room, because you can easily work around it and we're perfectly fine with it, so long as nothing gets broken. It's okay to do it to a friend's house as well, so long as their parents say it's okay or you know they have nothing going on and will be good-natured about it.

The 'flowering' idea just doesn't appeal to me. I mean, flowers? Toilet paper is just that much more fun. The organization I am in does a fundraiser called 'flocking' where we put plastic pink flamingos in yards with a note saying that if you want the 'flock' to move on to a new yard it will cost a couple of dollars. Everyone knows you should only do stuff like this to people you're friends with that wont get upset by it! One year we also 'signed' a friend's yard; we collected political signs (of all kinds) and put them in her yard. Of course, by the morning someone had taken most of them and 'signed' someone else.

It's just a bit of fun, and if they have a problem with it they call us and we go clean it up for them. They don't have to supervise us, because they're our friends, so they're fine with the driver supervising us. It's just a bit of harmless fun and after several years of doing this, no one has yet to complain. One of my sister's friends even helped us TP her own yard!

Sorry for the long post, but I had a lot to say about TPing. :)
~J

P.S. By the way, I'm actually considered quite considerate and respectful, so that comment doesn't apply to all teenagers. Remember- Don't stereotype!

P.P.S. And don't assume that only mom's check this site. :D

Dear J., Don't be a square. Let her go t-peing. When i was in high school it was an honor, to get your house tee-peed on your birthday. And she is asking you and like you said not doing it behind your back, how great is that. Please let them go. Mine did it at 15 years. thanks J. H.

Totally let your kid do it. Kids at that age need to do things
Like this it's fun for them and it's thrilling I did it when I was a kid
The people who have sticks up their butts need to chill out
"Ooh I'm sorry you were a part of letting a kid have a god childhood."
I mean seriously?!
In the end it's all fun and they totally should do it.

I think the most important question to ask your daughter is her MOTIVE. Why are they tee-peing this persons house? If it's for fun, Are they going to help clean up the mess once the laughing is done?
Tee peing is a form of vandalism. As harmless as it may seem, they are disrespecting the homeowners and their property. As mothers, I believe we all try to raise respectfull, kind children who know how to have fun, but not at anyone else's expense.
Your daughter is essentially threatening you, "if you don't give me what I want, I will do it behind your back". She obviously doesn't think that there are any consequenses for her misbehavior.

Yes, I will admit, that on occasion, I took my daughter's "toilet-papering". I parked and watched, nervously biting my nails until I could stand it no longer, then pulled up for them to pile into the car, while they laughed hysterically.
We only did it to friends who would "appreciate" it and never as a mean gesture of any kind, and they always seemed to "know" who it was and trust me, they returned the favor!! I also limited how much they could use and had strict instructions to not put it too high, where it could not be removed easily (no throwing it up into high trees, in other words).

Having said all that--it's still probably illegal. So you are taking your chances. One thing that might be a fun alternative, is to "heart-attack" someone-- make up paper hearts and crepe paper, etc. and decorate someone's front door or car or something like this. This would be considered fun (the sneaky factor is there) but not as destructive. Just don't use stickers or anything that cannot be easily removed. There are car paints for windows that are safe. Have fun at the party! Hopefully, my toilet-papering days are over!

In different parts of the country it means different things.. In Texas it is a good thing to get Tee peed.. Being accepted to a sports team, making cheerleader, becoming a member of the band all of these are reasons the house may be papered. Also if a girl has a crush on a boy, she may want to paper his house...

When people from out of state get tee peed the first time they freak out.. Our group of moms made an agreement to get permission from the parents first.. This way they know what to expect and do not freak out..

im with you on this , id also ask your daughter if it had hapend to your house how would she feel cleaning it all up, my daughter has always shared her views with me and i feel thats a good thing that they can talk about anything. id trie and promt your daughter to do beauty tips before the end of the night, worth asking as the police my get involved and that would just spoil her good birthday, all the best.x

I agree with the thought to do something else-we have "heartattacked" houses or forked them (cut out hearts taped all over the house and yard or plastic forks stuck throughout the yard). TPing a house of a friend or boy your like was the highlight of fun when I was 12-14. The only annoying part was it getting stuck in the trees. If they are willing to avoid the trees and TP the cars or bushes, etc. and I say go for it.
People who don't appreciate kids having good "clean" fun need to get a life.
You're only 13 once, let her enjoy.

I think TP'ing a house is a little too much, and definitely not a good lesson...it might be okay if, as was mentioned below, the homeowner agreed and they cleaned it up in the morning. Still it's probably not a good idea.

BUT, Ding Dong Ditch is a ton of fun, and is pretty harmless! I think you guys would have a blast doing that!
So I say NO to TP'ing, but Yes to Ding Dong Ditch....even though I would never have the guts to go through with it