My 14 month old has never slept well. He has always woken up 1 to 3 times per night. During the first 5 months it seemed normal, but since then I have been worried and very sleep deprived. I took him to see a certified classical homeopath at 5 months old. Long story short, he's a "tough case" and after 3 different remedies, we thought we had it right. Many other positive things happened with the remedy like he ate better and his naps became regular. He was late to crawl and 3 weeks after the remedy he was crawling (just examples of why we thought the remedy was right in case any of you have experience with homeopathy).
I stick with alternative medicines (unless there is an emergency) so we've also seen a chiropractor that performs cranial/sacral therapy. I nurse so I gave up coffee (even decaf. because of the homeopathic remedy). I don't drink soda or have sugar before bed, etc.
I've tried letting him cry it out and after an hour, I give up. I CAN NOT let my child cry longer than that. 20 minutes used to be my limit. I've tried going into his room, picking him up, telling him it's okay, giving him his "kitty" and leaving the room. It's hit or miss if it works and it usually means I have to get up again 30-45 minutes later (just when I've fallen back to sleep).
I'm currently trying a herbal kids tincture with cammomile and valerian root. I really hate giving him valarian, but I'm so desperate. If it's working, it's just barely (last night was a good night with him up only once at 11 and then up early for the day at 6:15).
Sometimes he seems hungry, sometimes it seems it's his teeth, and sometimes it just seems like he's lonely. It's all different times, too and there's no pattern that I can figure. He goes to bed between 7 and 8. He naps between noon and 3 (for 2 to 3 hours).
I can't cosleep with him anymore. I just don't sleep that well when he's there and the whole point is to get more sleep. I can't tell you what this does to a person. I'm not the same. I don't know if I left any room for advice, but I hope someone has some. We see the pediatrician next week, but I'm not that hopeful there. I just wanted to rule it all out.
Oh, otherwise, he's the happiest, most lovely child.
It's taken me awhile to respond because "waiting" seems to be the theme of this experience. I took the advice of one mom who said to start putting him to bed earlier and earlier until he quit waking up. The advice came from a book that I intend to buy, but haven't had time to get. Coincedently, the peditrician recommended the same book. I have also made some rules for myself. If he wakes up before 4am, I turn his music box on, pick him up, give him a sip of water, a hug and I put him back. I'm hoping he starts doing the music and water on his own and putting himself back to sleep. After 4am, I nurse him, change his diaper and then put him back. He seems to be sleeping for longer stretches and when I put him back in the wee hours of the morning, he sleeps a bit longer. There's no miracle here, but I'm seeing some improvement. Thanks for all of your advice!
I put a playpen in my room and put my dd in there so she was out of my bed... too many elbows. She slept through the night without waking me up. It was the only way to get any sleep for me. Sleep deprivation is the pits... good luck!!!
Hi B.,
I feel your pain. Our oldest was like this. Didn't sleep well till she was about 2 1/2. I doubt there's anything wrong with your little guy. If I were you, I'd put a little cot in my room so you can just roll over and help him get back to sleep without having to stumble through the house.
Sometimes the secret to getting a little person back to sleep quickly is getting to him quickly. You don't have to have him in your bed though I know the benefits (we cosleep too!) but having him right by you allows you to calm him before he gets fully awake. You may find even being able to just put a hand on him and saying "Ssshhhh" may be enough.
Either way, don't worry and enjoy the lovely happy child he is! :) You're bound to be sleep deprived for a few years but try to get naps in when you can and drink some green tea. This WILL pass - I promise!!
M.
My advice is turn off the monitor and get some sleep. He is safe in his crib. He will cry until he falls himself asleep. It will take a few days and probably each day he will cry a little less. He will learn. You need to take care of yourself too and you will all be happier and healthier if he learns how to go back to sleep.
Hang in there....My 15 month old just started sleeping through the night 2 weeks ago. She was doind the same thing, waking up 3 time and only going back to sleep if she was feed. She was taking her nap in the afternoon, but I have been making her take it closer to lunch time. That little adjustment seems to have helped, becuase she sleeps 7-6 without waking up. I know that every child is different, so really you just have to do what you think will work for your child. In the meantime i am sympathizing with your sleep deprived state.
All I can say is: I've been there, and it's super hard. I can totally relate. After reading everything I could find and coming to the end of my rope, we found Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It has become known as "the sleep bible" at our house.
Basically I think he would tell you to put your child to bed earlier each night until he stops waking in the night. He recommends bedtimes from 6-8 pm, but younger children need more sleep and he talks about that. There are some ideas about the timing of naps too that are interesting.
Limit setting is also part of the overall philosophy. It won't be the last time you have to set limits , and it isn't ever easy. They will rise to your expectations. I truly believe that. The author likens "junk sleep" to junk food, and says you wouldn't feed then a steady diet of french fries or fruit loops, right? I like his style and the tables for sleep needs go through adolescence. It's a great book, and worked for us with 2 kids.
B.,
Perhaps there is a brain chemistry imbalance or other such related occurance. I would suggest going to a medicine man/woman or reiki healer, etc. Make sure the person comes highly recommended and has a professional demeanor. You must truly be connected to the person and not just desperate to see someone who might be able to help you. Perhaps you are connected to energy healers in your field?
Another other option would be that your child has an extremely active mind and doesn't need the sleep everyone else does. Does your doctor suggest anything??
Barb
B. - You are not alone in the world of sleep deprived mommies. My little boy was never a good sleeper, and we always jumped up when he cried out as to not wake his older sister. If I was lucky I could get 3 full hours of sleep at a time. I wasn't lucky that often. It really wasn't until after he turned two that he started sleeping through the night. The only thing that got me through those 2 years was the occassional sleep over my kids had with their grandparents. I did it when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore and the person in the mirror did not look like myself anymore. My mom knew the situation and was willing to help out. Usually, he slept better at her house than he did mine. But that one night of full sleep and being able to sleep in was what I needed to recharge my batteries and start thinking clearly again. T.
Have you tried reading The No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers and preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantly? I love the suggestions in that book! What about putting a toddler bed, like a little race car bed, in your room?
Since you are already interested in all natural and safe alternatives to pharmaceuticals I would like to share my website with you: www.shootingstarherbs.amazonherb.net. I have a formula for calming the nervous system that does NOT contain valerian. And while that herb is excellent for adult sleep issues, the formula I have is safe and really effective for all ages. I have a close friend who uses it on her little one with amazing results. Let me know if you are interested in her story. I am a certified herbal consultant and would be happy to answer any questions you have. My contact information is on my website or you can reach me here on Mamasource.
Dont feel bad for not co-sleeping with him. Put him in his own bed either in or near your room. (It is possible he will also sleep better in his own bed)
My son was about 18 mos before I got a good nights sleep! Are you nursing him when he wakes up? We made a gradual transition from nursing during the night to having a sippy cup with water in his bed. Now at 2ys, he still gets up during the night to drink, but usually doesn't try to wake me. I know what you mean about the co-sleeping. I could not sleep well with him there. He is in a crib in my room.
I know first hand how difficult that can be. (Started with twins 7 weeks early...they could only get a little at a time so I was up with each one every 3 hours for an hour....do the math on that one!! I'm laughing at my past!)
With my gradnson, we have used Lavender Vanilla Massage Oil from Southwest Lifestyle. It is very soothing/relaxing. I even use it on me when i'm having trouble going to sleep.
Check it out under Body Care at www.southwestlifestyle.com or feel free to send me an email here!
S.
I don't really have any advice just wanted to say I feel your pain. My daughter 23 months old is the exact same and we have seen so many doctors to no avail. Nothing works she just wakes up and screams until you come get her but still won't go back to sleep. she only took two naps (very short and horrible) until she was 10 months then switched to one nap 12-3 and has been pretty good with that but nighttime is a different story. Most nights up her development is doing really well except her weight is low. What we have tried and seems to be doing okay is flonase and giving her iron supplements. We even have had a sleep study done and they found she has pmld(periodic limb movement disorder) which is similar to restless leg. Sorry I can't be of more help because I know how frustrating this is and how hard it is to be so sleep deprived. My prayers are with you and your little one and hope this just works it self out for both of us.
M.
SAHM of two little girls 23months and 4year old
