Toddler Independant Play

You already got a couple of answers that are pretty much what I would say: don't make a "big deal" out of her playing alone, just "mama's going to do this, I'll be back in a minute" and stay gone for 5 min, then 10, 20, etc. She'll get the idea that you're not *going away* and you will be back.

If you're trying to do things and there's a way for her to help or be involved, do it! When I'm washing dishes, I have her sweep the kitchen, put silverware away, etc. When I'm doing laundry, I have her help put clothes in the washer and push the buttons. When I'm doing yard work, yeah, that's pretty much all fair game (pick up leaves, move the rocks from here to there, water these flowers, etc). She enjoys being helpful, but if she finds the chore really boring, she'll just wander off and keep herself amused while I finish.

She has pretty much always been very independent and content to play alone, though, so this was never really an issue with us. I never did any timers or special "busy bags," she just understands that sometimes she needs to play alone (or quietly).

Good luck mama!

Toddlers have about a 5 minute attention span. Keep that in mind. You will not find a way to entertain her for 30 minutes. You will be lucky to find something to keep her entertained for 10. The "rule of thumb" is take a child's age and double it... that is about how long they independently sustain attention.

Things that may engage her independently:
- Play doh
- Wicky Sticks
- Books
- Simple Board Puzzles
- Building Sets
- Stickers/ Coloring

Get her started with something and then walk into the kitchen to get a drink or a snack. Take longer than usual and see how she does. Don't set it up as "OK, now you need to play by yourself." Tell her that you are going to get a snack and that you will be right back. Gradually stay away from the table for longer periods of time and see how she does.

Has she had any independent play time in the previous 2.5 years?

If not, then you can't expect her to jump in at 30 minutes. 5 minutes is a good start - try stretching that to 10....then a week later 15...etc.etc.

But you're asking too much to just say "hey, you're 2 and a half now, go play by yourself for 30 minutes". Gotta build up to it. :)

I don't have a suggestion of something to keep her busy per se, but I would nix the timer. If she's afraid to play on her own, without you there, TELLING her she's got to play on her own will trigger her panic button.

A better process might be to get her started on whatever she likes best and then slowly, gradually withdraw your attention. Don't step away or even (if you can stand it) look at your phone right away, just start to be ... boring. Say "mm hmm" and "oh, look at that" a lot. Little by little, the game will start to be more interesting than you.

But if you let her know that's your plan, she'll have none of it.

Start small.

"Okay, I'm going to go switch the laundry. I'll be back in a few minutes." (Then stay away for at least 10 minutes)

"Okay, I'm going to do the dishes while you play with your dolls. I'll be back in a bit." (15-20 minutes)

Just keep adding on time. Don't make a big deal about it when you go, but do praise her when you return.

I put the kiddos on the other side of the gate, they're in a long hallway full of all sorts of toys and stuff. They can see me at all times. They play and if they cry I talk to them but I don't go pick them up. This way they are secure in knowing I am there but that I am busy.

If you let her control you and keep giving in and playing with her all the time you may as well hire someone to come in and take care of everything....right????? I felt like that for a while then decided it was going to end. I just let them cry a few times and they stopped.

It worked out and they had their own place to play.

When she is playing, make yourself busy.

Ditto Christy Lee below.

You do not have to announce it, that "its time to play by yourself..."
Just do it as a matter of normal routines in the house.
When you announce it to her, it probably just stresses her out.
So... when and if, she is busy... by herself, then you go and do things in the house too.

My kids have always been real great about independent play. But I would do things in the house too, and say "Mommy is washing the dishes... I'll be back...." and then just do it. They are in the next room and can see me anyway.

I know EXACTLY what you're going through and all I wanted was 5 to 10 minutes of independent play.

In addition to engaging her with my tasks, i.e. dishes, laundry, etc. I would ask her to further "help me" by "drawing me a picture, building a tower, etc."

But honestly what really helped is when I put her in preschool two days a week. I'm not suggesting you do that, but I saw a dramatic change.

If you are not already socializing your toddler, can I suggested a moms group in your area? That way, your toddler can be around other kids who are playing on their own, and have you there as well.

It always seemed like my son had NO TROUBLE AT ALL entertaining/playing on his own when he was up to mischief.
I'd be thinking "Gee, he really well played on his own for awhile today!" and THEN find:

the completely unrolled entire roll of toilet paper behind his crib
(he must have had a blast figuring out how just how long that thing was)
OR
the mural on the wall in Sharpee marker behind the chair (which was his favorite hidey hole)
OR
the completely squeezed out bottle of baby oil under his crib

And then there was the time he pushed his indoor climbing toy over to the garage door so he could get up high enough to figure out how the sliding chain lock worked (he could not get out - his toy was in the way of the door opening - we watched him from the stairwell and took pictures - he was concentrating so hard on his 'mission' he didn't notice us till the 4th or 5th flash from the camera).

Can you find something for her to do that is harmless but SEEMS like mischief?
Maybe have her peel the paper labels off all the cans of beans?

Can you try doing something in the same room while she is coloring or playing with something by herself? My son used to play with magnet letters on the door or do play dough while I did the dishes or laundry, then I would leave the room for a few minutes. My son is now 4 and has always been pretty good at playing by himself, but usually he wants to be in the same room with me while he plays. I tell him to bring something he hasn't played with for a while (I give him specific ideas) into the office so he can be near me, and he can play while I work (since I work at home). Some kids are better at it than others, but if you guide her, she will get it.

A.,

I did not start 'quiet time', per se, with my son until he was three. This was based on my longtime experience as a nanny and toddler group/preschool teacher. For most toddlers, 30 minutes of independent play is shooting for the moon. Considering a child's attention span is usually one minute per age, try for five or ten or even fifteen minute intervals. From your post, I have to think your child is not ready for those longer playtimes alone yet.

Before three, what I did was to basically be 'unavailable' and busy myself. Sometimes this meant keeping myself standing up and taking a five minute break on the laptop at the counter (instead of sitting down). I worked in the garden, did dishes, folded clothes, etc. What worked very well was alternating between my housework and short playtimes, often to get my son started on something he could then explore on his own. Remember, toddlers do well with very open-ended activities; the other piece of this is that little toddler girls are often very social and want to play 'pretend' *with* us, so that is an added challenge.

Sensory activities, though, are wonderful for more independent play. I bought a big washtub for this and fill the first three inches with any of the following:
Rice
Dried beans
Barley
water
Bubbles and water
Noodles (macaroni-- you can color the mac or rice together with food coloring--just a few drops in a bowl, stir it round)

Place any of those items in a bin with some scoops, big spoons, funnels (you can make them for cheap-- just cut a plastic water bottle in half and cover the raw edge with masking tape). Fun, tho she should not be completely unsupervised, as usual with toddlers. Put a quilt or blanket on the floor beneath the bin for easy cleanup and a no-slip surface for water play.

FWIW-- kids get VERY into water play!

Some kids love to 'bury' little animal toys/small objects in a small box on a tray with small lentils or split peas.

Playdough is fun. Give her little pieces of paper (just recycled 1/2 and 1/4 sheets is fine) and a few crayons, some envelopes.... let her find her fun. A block set big enough to be successful with is great, and you can do the same with your recycled cereal/food boxes. Instead of flattening, collect a bag full, tape them shut and let her use them as blocks.

Tape a big piece of paper to the table and give her a few crayons. Or garage sale stickers. They are cheap and very good entertainment, plus help develop that all-important pincer grip.

Lastly, when you need to do something, be firm. "I'll hold you/play with you in just two minutes. I need to finish what I'm doing." At this point, I had to ignore the screaming when this happened. I want to encourage you to remember that this only works if her other needs (food, clean diaper/potty, not tired) are met... and remember that attention is an actual need as well.

The busy bags are a good idea and yes, make sure you help her get started.

Good luck!

Play dough and finger paints. You can make your own of both! Add fun plastic cookie cutters and a small rolling pin (I just found one on Amazon for $4.99 for my guy's birthday, it's the perfect size) to the playdough, it should keep her occupied for awhile.

Try to have her in the same room as you doing your own thing at first so she realizes you're still around. Make shorts "disappearances" so she see you come back. I stopped announcing I was leaving because he always wanted to come with me, if I didn't say anything he rarely noticed I was gone. Leave her alone even when she cries and screams, too, the attention she gets, negative or positive, reinforces her doing it. If she sees you still leave she'll eventually learn to be alone and find something to do. And, have her near you and fold laundry while she plays, fix dinner while she can see you, safely behind a gate or in her highchair, etc.

http://www.watchmeplayandlearn.com/2012/01/play-doh-made-... - Playdough, I add glitter, too.

http://www.watchmeplayandlearn.com/2011/11/finger-paints.... - Finger Paints.