Toddler Issues

My son had a similar pattern with the nuk. I think I could have taken his nuk around 12 months and he wouldn't have cared much...at around 18 months all the sudden he really had to have it. About 12 months we made it only in the bed thing and he would throw into his crib before we left the room. We were giving it to him more out of routine then him asking/looking for it. At 18 months he would get upset if he couldn't find it in his bed. At 2 I decided he would be fine without it (I was tired of his dependence on it to sleep). I talked to him about how he was ok without it and that mommy & daddy and other people like his friends didn't need one either. He cried for about 5 minutes the first nap without, maybe 30 seconds that night, and then only asked about it a few more days with no more tears. It really wasn't traumatic for him. Two months after getting him off his nuk we had another baby and he was so over it he didn't even try to take hers...in fact she ended up never taking one. Good luck, it's just a tough age I think.

Where is the baby when you work? Is he allowed the pacifier there?

He is only 17 month old. I am always so sad when i read these types of questions/problems because when it is the first child mothers tend to want them to GROW UP!! Some mothers never get it tho and want all their babies to GROW UP fast.

I know you think he is now a little boy now but he really is still a baby. Enjoy him. Don't try to make him grow up before he is ready. He won't take the pacifier to Kindergarten, I promise you.

If you are gone from him every day, he needs you (nursing)and he needs the only othercomfort thing that you have given him. (Pacifier)

If he doesn't give it up on his own during 2008, then before Christmas next year, start tell him that Santa needs all the Pacifiers he can get for the other babies and he is now a big boy so he can find all of them to leave for santa. This works real well for people trying to get the bottle away from an over 2 year old. They need to be able to understand the concept of giving them to other babies.

So, my dear mom, relax, enjoy your baby, don't make him grow up too soon. Before you know it he will be 17 years instead of just 17 months.

Good luck

M. B.
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I agree with Marcia B, he is still a baby, my 16 month goes threw the same thing, I don't have a pacifier issue w/ him but did with my 6 year old, and I just decided these were things that really weren't worth fighting over, they are going to grow up to fast, at 17 months they understand a lot but lack communication skills, this is frustarateing for them on top of all the no's they hear, so give him a break and let him be little for a while longer!

I would just wean him of all of it. When they start to throw tantrums its time to go! Plus it can be very confusing for him to only have it sometimes, he doesnt understand the time thing. Also could he be teething? and try to find out if anything has changed in his life to where he would feel like he needs extra attention- good luck, being a mom is not easy!

It soundsd like you are handling it pretty well! Some kids start their "terrible twos" early, which just means that they are experiencing new feelings and emotions which are confusing to them so they revert to things that they know comfort them. Stick to your guns thru this frustration. If you give in with the nuk or nursing now, it will be even harder to wean him later. A good point for you to look forward to is that you may have a very aware and sensitive young man one day!

I agree with the others--only ween one thing at a time, and he's just a baby! In a few years you'll be wishing him 17 months old! Enyjoy him, and let him be a baby.

L.-
I totally agree with Marcia B. I think the need to nurse intensifies around this age. I can tell you with both of my children they seemed to lost interest in it around 12 months or so when they were too busy exploring. Then it really picked up around 18 months when they start tettering between independence & needing mom. I have been nursing for almost 4 years between my 2 children & I am telling you that you can make whatever you want of it. My son is just about 2 & I set limits on when he can nurse. I let him nurse at bedtime & tell him momma's milkies are resting until the sun comes up. He nurses in the morning & then again at naptime. Sometimes he wants to nurse other times during the day & if I feel comfortable with it I nurse him otherwise I try to explain to him & distract. It's such a short time to nurture him this way. I weaned my daughter at 2 1/2 yrs & I regret not letting her do it on her own I think it would not have been too much longer. There are some very good books on the subject. "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" by Norma Baumgartner & "How Weaning Happens" I am not sure who that is by. The reason you are wanting to wean so strongly is because it is not a cultural norm in the US to nurse past a year. Worldwide the average age is 4 years old. Listen to your heart & your instincts & think about how short of a time it is in your life. Hope that helps please free to message me with any questions etc.
Brekka

Hey L.,

Boy do I sympathize with you. I didn't have the pacifier problem because all my baby wanted to do is nurse constantly.

At 14 months he was still getting up every 2 hours to nurse and wanted to all day as well. I think they start needing it more for soothing than they do for nutrition. Every mother should decide when the best time for weaning is, and for me it was very obvious when enough was enough.

You have to be totally ready to wean and committed to it, because it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I started by setting strict time he could nurse and then cutting one out each 4 or 5 days. It took me 6 weeks and the last 2 weeks were horrible. You have to be prepared for a lot of crying and have a plan for distractions and other methods to sooth. My son had a really soft blanket that would eventually calm him down. After it was done I felt so good and such a relief that it was totally worth all the trouble. Good Luck!!!

As far as pacifiers go, I seen a few shows on how to get rid of them and the best thing to do is to prepare your child for the day that you give all the binkies to another baby or the binky fairy. Keep reminding you child every day that in ___ days it is time to give all the binkies away. Then on the day go through your whole house and have your child help you put them in a bag and give them away. That way they won't be looking for them and whining for them. Who knows if this really works, but it sounds like a good idea.

Best of Luck-
M.

Is there any possibility he is teething? Sometimes when little ones start getting molars or new teeth even at this age, they can revert back to their most comforting activities.
Also, do you have a nighttime routine that doesn't involve the nuk or drinking? For my two little boys, 18months and 3 1/2 yrs, having a consistent bedtime routine of two books and a song or two while lying in bed really helps get them settled and ready to go to sleep. It also gets the over the insecurity issues of having to say goodbye to me for the night.
I truly sympathize with you about the tantrums. My youngest has realized where I keep the vitamin lollipops that I give them when they are sick sometimes, and he stands under the cupboard and cries and cries.
When he starts to give me really bad tantrums I just set him in his bed, tell him that I hear him but I don't understand because he needs to use his words, and that he cannot talk to Mommy that way. I also say that when he calms down I will talk to him, but if he wants ytu yell and scream he will have to do it by himself in his room.
I know it seems rather overboard for a 1 year old, but it really works for him.
One important thing to remember at this age is to never forget the power of redirection. "Hey look" is one of the most commonly used phrases in my home. And it doesn't even have to be something interesting. "Hey look, you have red on your shirt just like Elmo. Can we find an Elmo to play with? What other toys do you have that are red? Let's see if we can find some." It works everytime. Fill the blank for what color or animal or charcter your child likes.
Overall, I think your son may simply be testing his boundaries. He is starting to realize that he can get things by acting this way, that he can manipulate the people around him through his own actions. Feel good that he is growing up. Pushing the boundaries is something to look farward to for a very long time. But it sounds like you are doing a great job of reaffirming them and keeping them stable. Honestly, with my 3 yr old, sometimes they just get into a mood for days at a time, even weeks, where nothing makes them feel more powerful than pushing us around a little. At these times I really try and give him choices over what he is doing, but the choices are what I want him to do. Open ended questions never work because he is bound to give me an answser I don't want to hear.
So we say things like "do you want milk or juice?" Not "what do you want to drink?" Because then I will guaranteed always get the same answer "pop."
Wow, what a mouthful. Sorry if I am going on and on. I just feel like I've been exactly where you are right now.
Hope this is helpful to you.
Good Luck.
L. D

This is a lame response, and the easy way out, but you mihgt try just removing one thing at a time. If you are trying to wean, try giving him his nuk instead. He shouldn't be waking up at 4 am any more for feedings. He should be big enough that dinner is enough to sustain him until a regular breakfast time. He may just be looking for comfort to help him fall back asleep.
Your baby may just need something to comfort himself. I avoided a blanket forever for my 17 mo. old, but then Nanna spent a month with us (long story) and now suddenly my son has to have his blankie out of his bed. He ignores it most of the day, but every once in a while he looks for it for comfort. Some babies are just oral that way. No matter what we want.

S. - Mom to Almost 3 girl; almost 18 mo. boy; and almost born boy #2.

Poor little guy. It sounds like he's got a real need for comfort right now and he's trying to use his two favorite ways of getting it. The nuk and the nursing are both his ways of feeling safe and loved. If you must remove them, I would only remove one and be sure you give him lots of extra love in ways you are comfortable with to help him through it.

This can be a scary age for little ones. They are starting to grow up a bit and may need extra babying to help them through it. Toddlers can also get extra needy if they are getting new teeth, getting sick, having growing pains, or mastering milestones like talking.

He will not be placated with juice, water, etc. when he's asking to nurse because nursing is not about nourishment for little ones. When one of my kids was one, he would ask to nurse by saying "miss you so much, mama." It is bonding for him, love, pure and simple. :)

I would increase the love, time together and snuggles. That should help him transition away from the other comforts. Good luck!

Hmm...Well I wish I could give you some personal advice there, but if your bedtime schedule remains the same then I am not sure. But I figured I would give you a reference to another site that I find to be helpful for these questions. It's called the skinny scoop and it helps me to get the gist of other mother's experiences...but my son is a good sleeper (so far) so other than routine I don't know what to else to do but check out the site...it is a very useful tool!

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/sleep?utm_campaign=t...

OOPS JUST NOTICED THAT THIS QUESTION WAS FROM 2007! WELL HOPE MY ANSWER HELPS ANYONE ELSE DEALING WITH THE SAME ISSUE :)

L., I had the exact same issues with the "binkey" as well.What worked for me was telling my child that we had left it at grandmas house, and we would get it the next day. Then the next day we told him that grandma took it to his aunts house, so we would get it from her tomorrow. We kept doing this for a few days until he stopped asking about it. I know it seems misleading, but he was fine with not having it as long as he knew it was safe with a family member, and he would get it back soon.

Good luck!

It sounds like your son wants to nurse more for comfort than for nurisment at this point. One of the best things to do is to be consistent. Don't give in if you don't want to reintroduce the bedtime nursing. If you start again, it may be hard to end. At bedtime you might consider having your husband put him to bed for a while. That is what I did when I weaned my daughter from her bedtime nursing. Sometimes I even left the house (went to the grocery store) when it was her bedtime so that she wouldn't have the distraction of mom around. She would go to bed fine for him and had no complaints about not nursing. If I was there or if I put her to bed, then she would want to nurse. You just have to get him past this hump. Also, a good consistent bedtime routine will help. Good Luck!