Pulling the Binki!

Sorry if I repeat anything-I didn't have time to read the other responses. Both my son and daughter used a nuk. We got rid of theirs around 2 or 2 1/2. What we did was start little by little. We cut back to only naps and bedtime. Then down to bed time and then altogether. We didn't have any major problems with them really missing it doing it this way. They would inquire about it once in awhile, but then we would say they were all gone and it would be fine.

A couple other things I have heard of but not tried-my friends cut off the tips of the nuk and then told their child it was broken so they couldn't have it anymore. Don't know if at 13 months that would work real well...but it worked for them. I have also heard of telling them that other babies need them now and having them help you put it in an envelope and send them off somewhere.

I don't feel like it is a big deal to still have a nuk at 13 months, but it probably is better to take it away sooner rather than later if you can because the longer they have it, the more attached they will be and the harder of an adjustment. Hope you find something that works!

I don't remember how old my son was when I started to wean him from his binky, but I think it was about 2yrs. It started as he could only have it when laying down for a nap or bedtime. He was a smart little stinker and when I would catch him with one, I'd say "what are you supposed to be doing?" or "what are you doing with that?" and he would lay down - just drop right where he was. I left him with my mom and stepdad for a weekend and when I picked him up - no more binky. Grandpa had weaned him from it completely in like 3 days! I think he just told him he didn't need it anymore and he always listened to grandpa.

What I did with my kids and it worked great was, cutting off the tip. My son was biting it anyways, so I cut the tip and he told me it was broken. He didn;t want it broken and that was the end of that. My daughter was almost 2 when I got rid of hers and what I did was tell her that she was a big girl and didn't need it anymore. I told her if she threw it away, I would take her to the store and buy her a big girl toy. She picked out a, my little pony. When she asked about her passy after throwing it away, I reminded her that she was a big girl and had her new big girl toy. She was fine with that. I will add that both my kids were BIG passy suckers. My daughter would have one in her mouth and carry one with her. My son also. Explaining to them that they are big kids and letting them pick out a big girl/boy toy as a reward lets them think they made the decission.

K.,

Your daughter's life is going to be full of disappointments and cruelties far worse than a broken binky. Children are very resilient, but they lose that when parents hover and rescue them out of every hard moment of childhood. Your job as a parent includes lovingly preparing them to be happy, successful adults who can handle life when it doesn't go their way. Either break the binky or throw it in the trash. If you have to go slow, start by only letting her have it to sleep. But if you know you will cave in, just throw every binky in the house in the trash so you aren't tempted. Your daughter will survive just fine. After a week of tantrums, it will be like it never happened.

Good luck,
S.

well you can use the binki fairy, go around the house and get all of her binkis put them in a bag and hang them on a tree. Explain to her that she doesn't need a binki anymore and there are other kids who need the binki and that she will leave her something special in return for the binki's and of course you would want to stick a present there the next morning. It will work if you make it fun and you really have her believe that what she is doing is such a great thing and it will be worth her while. good luck we also had a child who did not want to give those binki's up but they sure are nice to have when you needed them.

Hi K.! Research shows that it is perfectly safe for babies to have a binki until they are 2. After that age it can affect their teeth. I also have a child that LOVES!! his binki. He talks like crazy now but at 13 months did the same as your daughter. I would say he even had it in his mouth 95% of the time. Encourage her to take it out or take it out for her when she talks. He isn't a strictly naps binki kid yet but if its out of sight its out of mind for him, so you could try putting them somewhere she can't see them when it falls out. My son also wakes up for it in the night and it has gotten better as he's gotten older and become less dependent on it. We are going to go cold turkey after the holidays as I also feel that cutting it is cruel and I don't think he would mind if a few pieces were missing. Good Luck!

I never cut the tips of my childrens either, thinking it was also very cruel,. However the thought of letting them suck on it 75% of the day sounds bad also. I would first take it away and only use it for naps and bed time only. Than after that went well, I would try what we did with ours, we told her that the plug fairy was coming to get her plugs and was going to leave her a special treat if she was able to collect all the plugs and put them in a bag and set them out for the plug fairy. We hung ours from the tree outside and in the morning my husband put a special doll in there for her. With my son, my sister had just had a baby, and we told him that now that there was another baby in the family that we needed to pass the plug on to the baby. He did that and the first night and nap time he asked where it was and we told him that he gave them to the new baby and he said ok. I have a cousin whos daughter is three and she still has one all the time, her teeth are bad and her speech is horrible, and she sucks on it all the time.
Hope something works for you I know how hard it is to get rid of. However a couple nights of crying beats a dentist bill to have their teeth fixed any day!!

K.,

My daughter was about 13 months old when we took away her nuk. We did a gradual process. We did not let her have it during the day and only gave it to her at nap time and bed time. We did this for about two weeks and then took it away completely. It worked very well for us. We had a couple of long nights right away, but overall it went very well.

Good luck!

M.

I am all for the cold turkey. She is pretty young so I don't know that she would understand this, but my daughter was 2 and horrible about having that nuk!

We talked about how nuks are for babies and that when she was ready we'd take all of the nuks to the store (Target) and exchange them for a new toy. We did this for a couple of days and then she said, okay, I'm ready. We gathered them all in a baggie and set off to Target. We took our time and she picked out the toy she wanted. Then we went to the checkout line and she handed her baggie to the check out lady (with a wink from me and a whisper to throw them). I told her how proud I was that she was giving the nuks to the babies who needed them and that was that. No whining, no problems, simply done.
I had envisioned days of dealing with it and she did ask a couple of times, but I gently reminded her that she gave them to the babies.

Good luck with what you decide,
K.

My son was around 18 mos. and was going into a big boy bed. We used the "cutoff method" and cut the nipples off of them. When he would pick them up to stick in his mouth he had a very confused look on his face! We just told him " uh oh broken" and he would throw it in the trash and we would say "all gone" or "Bye Bye" it actually worked great for the age he was. He didn't cry or whine or anything. Hope this helps! Good Luck!

K.,
that was a problem for me as well...what I had to do was convince my son that BIG boys don't use them...I know it's bad, but I used alot of bribery....McDonald's after haircuts only if no Binki (BOBO). We can go to the park after I pick you up from day care if no BOBO....that worked like a charm because then he started telling me about things he wanted to do and he would say, I know Mommie, only if no BOBO....please can we....so it works....just takes time and patience.

I pulled my sons cold turkey and he had it 95% of the time. It did take 3 days of crieing for it and then it was all good. I think with kids it takes them about 3 days to adjust to any change. Pulling the bottle, pacifier, or anything for that matter. Its about 3 days. My son actually gave his to his baby cousin at the time. My son was 16 months and my nephew was newborn. He gave him the pacifier and my SIL took it and hid it. We just told him that baby needed it now and he fussed for it but then it was all done after only 3 days and he has not tried to take one back since. Now my daughter she never really attached to one and so we just stopped giving it to her at about 6 months. Well now I have a newborn and my daughter is 2. She keeps trying to take it from the baby and suck on it. This drives me NUTS. LOL. I also have a friend that allowed her son to keep his binky until he was 3 and he has major speach issues. I think anyways. She thinks he talks just fine!! He does not move his lips when he talks. Like he is still trying to hold the bink in his mouth and talk. He will be turning 4 in May. So it may be just time to adjust. I would suggest if you want to slowly ween her to at least make her remove it before you will talk to her. She will probably get frustrated that she can't talk with it and just lose it. Talk laterz. hope this helps. J.

Oh, I feel your pain. My son was the same as yours (though we didn't succeed with cold turkey until he was 2 1/2 yrs old, I think I was just being lazy) and my daughter is 13 months right now. I'm planning to (probably soon, but still being lazy...) to reduce use to just sleeping times, and after a while trying cold turkey. I don't like the "broken binki" thing, I think it's cruel. Just my opinions, good luck!

L.

I stand by cold turkey. I know it's sad and you feel bad for them, but it works quickly and effectively. They find something else to latch onto. For us, it was stuffed animal kitties. My boys can't do anything without their kitty and I am fine with that!

Good luck!

I snipped the tips of the pacifiers for my boys when they were each 17 months old. They, too, were only every allowed them at bedtime and nap time and occassionaly in the car. After 2 nights of the pacifier "not working" they didn't want them anymore and were fine.

I had my daughter on the nuk until 3 but that was only at bed time because by that age she hardly ever took a nap. I ended up having her throw the nuk herself and that helped out a lot. Just make sure that the garbage bag is brought out or not in her sight. Otherwise like my daughter she will run back to the garbage can and try to dig them back out. Make sure that you throw them ALL out.

I'm not sure if this will help - never have dealt with this but a friend said to start tying it up high enough for her to suck on it (like to her crib - with a short enough string - no choking hazard) so that she can walk up to it and suck on it often, but not all the time.

Hope this helps - you could even try doing this by day if you'd like.

Hi K.

Fortunatly, I was able to wean my daughter by age 1. My son, on the other hand refused to give it up. When he turned 2 (I tried the first approach that I did with my daugher, it didn't work)

What needs to be done first, is limiting the use of the NUK to naptime and/or bedtime. During the day, if she wants her NUK, give her a soft rubber chewing object made for teething (they don't break into pieces like rubber NUKS). She may be teething and NUKS are great to chew and suck on to relieve any pain.

Once that has been established, try this.

I started putting the NUKS in his dresser drawer and when he wanted it at night or naptime, he would point to the drawer and we would give him one. After about 3 weeks of that, I finally took them all out of the drawer and hid them in the closet on the top shelf (just in case this wouldn't work.)

After the third week, that very night, he pointed to the drawer and told him "they disappeared, they are gone". He started to fuss, so I lifted him up and let him search his drawer to see if he could find one. It took about 3 nights, and he stopped looking for them and gave up the fight.

Good luck!

First, we said that he could only have pacifiers at bedtime or naptime. We wouldn't leave the room until he would "throw it away" in the crib. The pacifiers needed their rest and needed to stay in the crib. I told him that if he wanted his pacifier, he had to stay in his bed. Sometimes, he did stay in his crib, but we would make so much noise like we were having SO much fun playing in another room, that he wanted to get out of the crib and leave the pacifier behind. Once it was only at bedtime and naptime, we told our son a little white lie! My son absolutely LOVED my in-law's dog, Riley. One day, we told him that Riley was really sick and that she needed the pacifiers to get better. (The dog was NOT actually sick.) My son gave them to his dad before he left for work (we told him that dad was going to bring them to Riley so she could get better). The next few days were tough, but every time he would ask for it, we would say, "Oooh, I know it's so hard, but Riley has them. She was sick and now they are making her feel so much better. You are such a big/great/nice/fantastic/amazing boy for helping Riley." It was tough for about a week and he still asked for them after that, but we stuck to our guns. Now he's 2 1/2 and when we ask where they went, he still says, "Riley has them." My mom did this for me with my bottle (I had to give it to Fred the horse) and so far (!) there are no long-term psychological effects! (At least none that I know of!) Good luck. It will be a little sad, but it's so great to get that darn thing out of their mouths!

I also feel your pain. My son is 2 1/2 and still has his nuk. My husband and I take it away from him during the day except for rides and naps. We didnt take it away soon enough though and he is having trouble talking (forming his words). We even have an appointment set up with a speech therapist to get him some help. My doctor even suggest pinning it to the bed so that would be the only time he got to use it. That is our next step. Good Luck!

My son was an addict. He always had one in his mouth and one in his pocket. We went to a hotel for a three night stay. After playing in the pool on and off all day he was tired and ready to go to bed at 8:00. He had been so busy threw out the day that he hadn't use a nuk. It was only at bed time that we realized in our rush to leave we didn't have a single nuk with us. My husband ran out to get a nuk but by the time he got back our son was asleep. We stopped cold turkey giving it to him and he didn't cry for it once. I'm sure it's not that easy but it worked for use to just wear him out. Good luck.

Cut the tip off. Why is that any more cruel than cold turkey?? Cutting the tip worked great for both of my kids. The first few times they would look at it and look a little confused, but I just told them it must be broken. My son gave his up right away. My daughter carried her broken binkis around for about a week and was then done with them. There was no fighting, explaining, crying or whining. That sounds like a win/win to me. The kids each got to decided that they were done with the broken binkis. They were both under 2.

Hi K.,
I would just slowly start to take it away. Like only give it to her for nap & bedtime not during the normal playtime hours. Then after a week/2 weeks take it away at naptime.
Then do it again for nighttime a week/2 weeks later. It will be a hard adjustment you all of you guys but it is worth it!

Good Luck
~M.

www.journeysoflifephotography.com

My daughter quit cold turkey after a visit to the dentist. She went with me to my appointment, and when the dentist saw her, he said to get rid of the nuk b/c at 2 years old, the nuk has the potential to mess up her teeth. I said OK and took the nuk.

When she would ask for her nuk, I would just tell her that the doctor said no. It took the pressure (and blame) off me and was enough of an answer for her. After two days, she stopped asking for it.

My youngest daughter, who is now 2 1/2, was always a "paci girl". But only used it when sleeping until she was about 2. Then, I think because she was becoming more aware of the "big, bad world", it seemed she got more and more dependent on it - like just over the last 6 months. I'd give in, and let her have it outside her room, because she's very strong-willed, and I just didn't want to deal with the fits.

I planned eventually (when she was over 3) to either cut off the "good parts" until she didn't want it anymore, or convince her there were other babies that needed it and she should give hers to them. But in the end what happened was...

Since she was taking them out of the house,in the car and whenever we knew she'd be "stressed", she just kept losing them. My husband and I, of course, didn't replace them. When she finally lost the last one (I thought there was one more, but no) she knew where she had left it, but there was no way to get it back. We talked about it whenever it came up - she'd ask for her paci and I'd ask her what happened to her paci? She did amazingly well not having it anymore! She asked for it every night for the first three nights, and then once more during the following week, but has never had the awful meltdowns I expected!

I really believe it's because she was older and could understand what happened to it - she knew it was nobody's fault, it was just lost, and we kept stressing she was being such a big girl that she didn't need it. A few nights after she lost it, I took her to Toys R Us to buy a celebration gift: a new baby doll, to celebrate how she was growing up so much! Even now, weeks later she will tell me she is growing up. I tell her "Yes, you are"!! I am just so relieved it all went way better than expected!

So my advice would be to talk about it (either before, or when it happens) but don't try to take it away until she is ready or can understand.

About the talking around the binki - whenever my daughter tried to talk to me and had it in her mouth, I would tell her I couldn't understand what she was saying and she'd have to take it out of her mouth for me to "hear" her. Since she totally understood that as well, I think she was a lot more ready to give it up than I ever imagined.

Good luck!!

I saw on Super Nanny that you tell your child you need to gather all the binkies and hang them in a tree for the "Binki Fairy" to come and then she gets a toy/treat etc......the "binki fairy" needs to take them to give to little babies that need them.
I don't know if this works with such a youg one (12 months) and maybe your son might wonder why she didn't come get his??? Just a thought maybe you can tweak the method to your needs. Maybe check out Super Nanny website-there must be one. Good luck.
my daughter never really liked the binkis so I don't know what works best.

yeah i would assume (since i havent read the other responses) that the binky fairy idea has been presented.

my son is 22 months. i really try to only let him have it at nap and bed time. he usually spits it out sometime soon after falling asleep, and never really looks for it unless he wakes up or something... its not been a big deal.

this is a touchy subject because you want to give your daughter what she needs, but you dont want her carrying this thing around all the time. try to do the "binky stays in bed" routine. if she wants binky, she has to be in bed. this seems to be rational enough for my son.. howevfer, if he gets really hurt sometimes or is sick, there are exceptions. just be sensitive and follow your instincts. you will know when its just not a big deal. its kinda like nursing. you get to a point where its dont ask, dont refuse... where you dont ask if she wants it at bedtime, but you also dont refuse it if she does ask.
:D

My older daughter was a nuk baby. We tried different ways. Pulling it cold turkey seemed to be the best. I think there is a book about leaving it on a window sill for the nuk fairy who takes it for another baby who needs it more. We didn't use the book, just told her the story and it seemed to help. Good Luck!

Sounds like she likes her binki! Take your time - At 1 year, you've got plenty of time to wean her off of it. My son was a binki users but only when sleeping. So, maybe try migrating her off of daytime use as a first step. I tried poking holes and cutting off the tip but my son loved that binki and would take it anyway he could get it! Finally, at about 2 1/2, we talked about sending it to the Passy Fairy. We made quite a big deal about it...Put it into a fancy envelope and tying it to a tree and then magically, the next morning, it was gone. We had 1-3 fussy nights but he never even mentioned it.

My daughter potty trained a couple months before she turned three, and about the same time, we decided she needed to give up her nuke, otherwise she'd start having problems with her teeth. (That might actually be a tad too old, but with her sensory problems, everything takes a little longer to assimilate her)

Our solution, which I had read somewhere, was to tell her that she had (X number) of nukes and that, as she lost a nuke, or one broke, it wasn't going to be replaced. Each time one of her nukes was lost, we'd tell her she has x number left and that, once the last one was lost, there were no more nukes. We kept constantly reminding her that she was a big girl and that, once all her nukes were gone, that was the end of the nukes (without going overboard ad nauseum, of course).

It took a while (probably 3-4 months), but eventually the last one ended up being lost on a trip to Kohls department store. She noticed it was missing after we got in the car. I acted all important and a little excited and reminded her that her last nuke was gone and she was (now) a big girl and didn't need one anymore. She fussed for all of about 10 minutes, and then we never heard another word about a nuke.

I'm not sure if the method will work for anyone else, but it worked like a charm for us!

Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

A.

I am going through this right now! My 2 3/4 year old son lost his last nuk a few days ago(I refused to buy anymore) so it was cold turkey for him. He did quite well, just a few whines. My 15 month old son is being 'weaned'. He only gets it at bedtime and stressful times(going to the daycare @ the YMCA) I plan to eliminate all the nuks in the next week. It really does seem cold turkey is the way to go!!!!! Best of luck!

My daughter was a pacifier addict when she was little, she had to have it ALL of the time! She also got a lot of comfort from it and the sucking. We made a slow transition to not using it which worked out very well. Sometime between 20 months and 2 1/2 years we transitioned her to only getting it for car rides, naps and at bedtime. Eventually we got her to just bedtime and naps. We let her do this until she was three because she really didn't attach herself to anything else to soothe herself. About 2 months before she turned three, we starting talking about how she would be a "big" girl when she was three, and that big girls don't use pacifiers. We asked her who she wanted to give her pacifiers to when she was done with them. She first said her baby brother, but since he didn't use pacifiers and we wanted to get them out of the house, we asked her if she would want to give them to her pediatrician who could then give them to the babies he takes care of (you could try daycare, friends with kids, whatever works). We talked about the plan with her just about everyday, especially after naps and bedtime, to help prepare her. When she turned three we cut her off. She cried the first day or two, but we persisted. When it came time to bring them to her doctor, we had him make a big deal about how she was a big girl and how great it was that she was giving them to babies who needed them. She was so happy and seemed proud of herself. It seemed to work well for all of us, not only allowing her to help make a decision of where they should go, but also giving her a sense of accomplishment for hitting a milestone and feeling good about giving.

I think you can go halfway with your daughter - kids that age are still really oral, and clearly she has a strong need to suck. I did two things when my son was about 14 mos old - I banished it to the bedroom (only for naps and nighttime sleep) and I tied a baby blanket (lightweight, receiving blanket) to the pacifier so when he lost it at night he could find it again on his own. He is now 4, and we just completely gave up the pacifier last Christmas - which actually went pretty smoothly. We let it be his choice - if he wanted Santa to bring him a scooter (which he was coveting) then he needed to give his pacifiers to Santa. We started talking about this before Thanksgiving, so he had lots of time to get used to the idea. We also told him that if he was't ready he could wait, and the pacifier fairy could bring the scooter later. He was totally and enthusiastically on board right up until the last moment, on Christmas Eve, when we were leaving the pacifiers with the cookies for Santa - then he had some hesitations, but with a little gentle encouragement he was able to do it. Falling asleep was a little rough for about a week, we ended up lying down with him until he fell asleep, but after that it was fine. And let me tell you, he was *really* attached, so giving him that control over giving it up was really the only way it was going to happen.

All that to say - don't sweat it with your daughter. Make a few boundaries about it, create a way for her to find the fallen-out pacifier herself at night (you may have to show her a couple of times for the first couple of nights - look, see, it's right here, you grab the blanket and put it back in yourself) and then she'll get the hang of it and not call for you any more.

Good Luck!

Honey, throw the pacifiers in the trash. At 13 months, your daughter should be sleeping through the night.

Cold turkey is the only way to go. At 4 months, my son only had the binki at nap and bedtime. Our rule was the binki was not to leave his crib. At 6 months, it went into the trash. Pacifiers are meant to calm infants, not for toddlers to carry around.

Yes, she is going to scream the first few days. But the sooner you get this behind you, the sooner everyone in the house can sleep, including YOU. Stay strong and don't back down.