Toddler's Eating Manners

Hi! My son didn't use utensils until he was close to about 2 1/2. Everyone told me that he should be using them at age 2, and I worried about it a little too, but he always uses them now and not only that, but uses them really well. I never had the dumping of the plates though.......I bet that gets frustrating. Maybe you could make them help clean it up so they stopped seeing it as being fun anymore.

Don't worry about using utensils yet. Most kids don't really get those fine motor skills down until closer to age 3. As for the plate dumping. Tell them before you hand them the plate that you expect them to not dump it. Tell them if they do, the meal is over and they'll have to wait until the next scheduled snack or meal to eat. This works best if you already have an establish snack/meal schedule every 2-3 hours or so (remember that little tummies need to eat morning, afternoon and sometimes bedtime snacks - make them healthy). Then when/if the plate gets dumped. Just say. "Ok, you dumped your plate, that means you're done". Take away the plate, remove them from the table and continue your meal. Yes. They'll yell and cry and be very mad. I've done this with all my kids... the stubborn one had to have 3 meals ended early. The others only did it once.

they have these bowls and plates that suction to the table or counter tops.... they work wonders.... they may not hold very strong but they delay the kids long enough for you to stop them.. I also found that if you wipe the table with a wet sponge and then push the plate/bowl down it held a little stronger.... and just like you praise them for using a spoon or fork you need to make sure they know that dumping the food isn't right.... good luck i got my bowls from toys r us and i think wal mart too

using fingers is normal many kids arnt able to grasp the concept... as we all know children learn at differnt rates...so keep working with them and they will get it... in the mean time they sell bowls and plates that suction to the table... good luck!

HI! This is J.. I have a 15 month old and he loves to eat only with his fingers. He knows what the spoon is for and he wants me to put the food on the spoon for him and he then will eat it off the spoon with his fingers. My little one used to throw his plates and bowls on the floor to. One way i solved that was just put it on his high chair and that way nothing was thrown on the floor and a big huge mess. Every child is different and when they are ready they will do it. Just give them a spoon and just let them play with it and don't mention anything and they will do it on their own time. I don't know if this helps but i hope that it does. If you ever need to talk email me at ____@____.com

I don't think starting them early on plates causes bad table manners. Most kids take a while to get it all down. I would not worry about them not using silverware at their age. Encourage it by giving things that can only be eaten with say a spoon. As for the plate dumping make sure they know that you think that is unacceptable. If they are doing it when they are not done eating taking the plate away or not giving them more food might solve the problem. If they are doing it because they are done maybe the key is just getting the plate out of there before they start. If they are encouraging each other you might just need to distract them. I have been a nanny for the last 14 years and have had my share of kids along the way that liked to dump plates. It was a matter of figuring out why they were doing it and eliminating the issue if possible.

My suggestion: realize they are not even 2 years old yet and this is what toddlers do. SO, get a dog and save yourself the clean up of the floor and try not to feed them food with sauces that are a pain to wash out of hair:)
Good Luck!

J., this is very normal for toddlers. Both my kids had a grand time trying us at the table. Correct them and be patient. You will be fine. :)

J.,
I know the messy eating can be frustrating and makes eating out even more difficult. As far as the finger foods go, children of their age find them easier to eat... plus it continues to build their fine motor skills with their fingers. Using utensils is also important, keep providing them and they'll use them as they are ready. As far as dumping the food on the floor, let them know that is not acceptable, maybe give them a mat for the table or high chair, whatever you are using and tell them that they can put their food on that instead. When they appear they are done eating take them from the table and away from the temptation of playing in the food. That was the hardest thing I had to accomplish with my son's was teaching them that the table was not a playland. It was too easy to try and get things done while they were eating lunch. I found if I sat with them instead and talked to them through their meal, they were more likely to stay focused with my re-direction. Anyway sorry to ramble on. Hope this helps.
Are you also in the Williamsport area? mb

my husband and i have a now 5 yr. old boy...very hyper, emphasizing on the hyper..lol. we got the industrial velcro and put it on the plates and bowls that were very cheap at walmart, that have the divided sections..they are about 94 cents each..we gave him the metal rounded ended prongs with the big plastic grip handles, we told him he had to stab his food so it wouldn't run away. it worked like a charm..we held off on spoons for a bit, he learned very quickly how to cattapolt spagetti across the room with them. anywho, he was 18 mo. when we started teaching with utensils. hopes it helps.

My daughter is 8 months and a lot of times I come here to see what things to try to avoid hehehe
I never really thought about it and I do right now feed her with a spoon she has liked to feed herself with since she was 6 months. I used to get frustrated cos mealtime would take forever but now I am glad I saw your post... So I can continue to encourage it instead of being frustrated.
Always, after I feed her, I let her play with her spoon, she loves chewing on the rubber part of it.
If you have any suggestions on how I could encourage her to use her utensils more, let me know...
Right now she's beggining to eat finger foods and I am putting her on #3 foods so she still has to have the spoon. I hope I can keep her on a good habbit but I also understand that they will do as they will do to a certain degree when they go through phases.
Amy

keep working with them...it's totally normal for kids that age to do those kinds of things. i don't think they are refusing manners or refusing to learn them, it's just the age they are at. just keep working with them, my daughter was about 2 1/2 before she actually started to catch on to the manners, and now it's still a fight at home for her to use silverware, it's normal, just keep reminding them