Toddler Wants to Be Naked

Hi L.,
I have 3 daughters and am a somewhat SAHM. All 3 of my girls went through the same stage. I really don't think it is anything to stress over. I had to get creative at times but it really didn't last that long. Girls can be difficult...and it only gets worse. My girls are 10,7, and 3. Good luck.

My 22 month old daughter just went through the same thing. If I tried to dress her in anything different or something she hadn't worn for awhile she would scream. Giving her a toy to hold does help but I really just had to try and quickly put the clothing items on her while she complained and kicked and sometimes screamed. If you stop trying they will think that it is o.k. to throw a fit and stay in their pajamas all day so don't give up. Also, now that she is starting to understand more I have her "help" me by getting the socks out and I talk to her to explain what we're doing.
From my experience, if I stop doing something like putting her in dresses or boots, she sometimes throws a fit when I try to put them on her a week or two later. So try to be consistent with her and you might have an easier time.

Good luck, I know it takes a lot of patience but she will be better for learning that she needs to listen to you and have a morning routine that includes dressing.

-L.

It could be sensory. Watch tags, seams and scratchy materials.

I had and still do have sometimes the same problem with my 22 month old...Now I give him something to play with that he has never played with before while dressing....Ill grab a peice of tubberwear, a ladel or some type of kitchen supply he cant hurt himselft with. When i put his sleave in the arm he's holding it with i switch hands really quick so he's still holding it but so that i can still get him dressed. Or sometimes I use stickers. I tell him he'll get a sticker after he gets his clothes on and when I get the outfit on I give him a car sticker (there his favorite) that usually works.

Have you tried to do things in your house that require clothing? Say, you and the baby are going to have a particular snack, play a certain game (dress up, ride a ride-on, play dolls, etc), or just something that she enjoys doing and make the rule that she has to be dressed to partake. I'd probably start with just wearing a shirt, then shirt and bottoms, or dress. Increase it as she becomes more willing. Maybe you could let her pick out your clothes as well, or the baby's. Since you don't want to "force" her, I don't know what else to suggest. You're in a pickle. Best of luck.

Hi L.. The woman who suggested you look for tags and scratchy stuff on her clothing may be on to something. I have read about children that have sensory issues surrounding clothing. For some children it can feel like they are being poked with needles the whole time, or rubbed with sandpaper. I have no idea if your daughter just doesn't want to wear clothes or if they may make her very uncomfortable, but it is something you may want to discuss with your doctor. I know my brother had a very minor form of this when he was little. Not one item of his clothing ever had tags on them because to him it felt like the tag was stabbing him. My mother ripped them all out and he had no more problems. Now my youngest son, when he was about 18 months old just didn't like getting dressed some days and I had to force his clothes on him while he screamed, but once they were on he was fine and he has since outgrown that. I guess my point is that it might be worth looking into this with a doctor, and if nothing is wrong(which is what we all hope) then you need to put your foot down with her so you can all get on with your lives. Please let us know how it works out and know that you aren't alone with this.

You should not let her tantrums be successful, as in enabling her to control you into not going out, or forcing you to let her be in control in the house by not getting dressed. The dressing may seem like no big deal, but it's the fact that she is in charge at 19 months which isn't good.
You need to get on top of this completely. Don't feel guilty or "mean". Your daughter will respect your authority and learn self respect for herself in the future. She will respect you less an less in the future if she wins little battles now. If you let her control you, she will not learn good boundaries for herself when she is older. Be a strong female role model!!!! You're not asking her to do anything wrong by getting dressed.
You should always make her wear clothes, even at home. Do not allow the tantrums. Use discipline. You don't need to be creative. If she is making you trick her into doing stuff, she is still manipulating you. Enforce your rules. She will have to wear clothes her entire life. May as well start now. Battles always get worse in public, so don't even give her the freedom at home, it's setting yourself up to negotiate (and lose) when going out.

L.,
In a global view--Americans are over obsessed with clothes and preventing nudity! Who cares if she's naked (at least in her own home)? Try to not let it become a huge issue or she may think that a body always needs to be covered. I have a son and he went through the "naked phase" I think most kids do. If I had a daughter, I would try finding some cool, breezy, no-fuss sun dresses to pop over her head with a diaper--especially for a quick dressing when it's time to go somewhere. Also, is she really "into" a character (Dora, Elmo, etc.)? If so, she may fuss less with clothes with that character on them. Good luck with your little Lady Godiva!

This wasn't a huge issue with my kids. I would play peek-a-boo or try to distract them and that often worked. But I want to suggest that maybe a change of rules would work. She probably can't differentiate between when it is necessary to wear clothes as opposed to when it is okay to be naked. So maybe she should wear clothes all the time. For now, maybe that means a onsie or a sundress - one piece, quick and relatively easy. Get her dressed first thing in the morning. I found it is easier to get my kids dressed then as opposed to waiting until they are moving about and interested in playing.

I know you have you hands full with 2 little ones - my kids are 14 months apart - and not dressing your daughter for inside play means there is one less thing you have to do. But it might be better in the long run to nip this in the bud. Just a thought. Good luck.

Well, just my 2 cents -
If she's not following the rules you've set, then you do need to enorce them. Changing plans because she won't get dressed sets the presidence that she's in control, not you. You've the parent. Be the parent.
That said, if you can coerce her in a way that makes her feel like she's exerting her control, but still followng the rules, that's great. I get my daughter dressed as soon as I can in the AM. She'd stay in her PJ's all day if I let her! I found that if I change her right away, when she's still a little sleepy, there's no hassle.
What also works with my daughter is, first, this, then that... first we get dressed, then we play her favorite game or listen to her favotie CD... Even if she fights you at first, once she realizes that you follow through, she'll understand that she's making the reward happen. But - you HAVE to follow through.
Good Luck - remember she's only 19 months - you know what's best for her. She doesn't.

I didn't read the other responses so sorry if this is kinda a repeat. My son was exactly the same until I started to let him shop for his very own big boy clothes at walmart. Once he picked out something himself with his favorite cartoon he was proud to show it off, I even let him wear costumes to the store some days until we got through the stage. Anyone with kids totally knows what your going through.

First off, don't let her choose b/c the point is that she wants to control the situation. Make it a game somehow, can you race mommy and get dressed faster than me or little sister. Now I know she can't dress herself and you can't dress both of you at the same time, but she isn't going to catch on to that. Just make it a game and dress her and then make a big deal when she wins. Or find something she wants and do a First get dressed and Then you can have....snack, cartoon, toy whatever it is that she wants. She justs wants the control of the situation so once you find something that works for her, its not hard to trick them into believing that they have the control when they really don't. Often the old, don't you get dressed, I know you can't get dressed, reverse psychology works too. Good luck, J.

No offense, but who is in charge here? I totally agree that you should check for tags, scratchy bits, and that you should consider the temperature and make sure that she is not over dressed. But staying home because she doesn't want to wear clothes sends a bad message to toddlers who really need and want limits set for them.

If you can "carrot" her into something ("let's get dolly dressed", or "who can come up with the silliest sock combination?", etc.) then well and good, but if not, there are going to be a lot of things in life she's going to have to do that she doesn't like. Asking her to wear clothes is not unreasonable. If she didn't want to get buckled into her car seat you would make her do that, right?

I totally know the feeling that its just not worth the hassle of enforcing the rules, but that's a slippery slope. Just my two cents...

have several friends this has happened to..as they have grown still do not like clothes but they have stuck with rule have to have clothes outside the house .they both let them wear swin suits or gymnastic leotards which seem to work...

I had the same issues with my daughter as well up until about 6 months ago. She is now 3 1/2. She all of a sudden decided that she doesn't want to be naked anymore. I took my parents' advice and treated it as if it was just a phase (which I suppose it is) that children go through.
My daughter is very active...I would always give her the choice of either staying home or getting dressed to go somewhere...eventually it worked itself out. I'm sure it will for you too! Good luck!

I say wake up tomorrow (unless you have plans outside of the house) and say, "Let's just let you be naked for a while".
Who cares. At the most she might pee or poop and that is a small clean up but your daughter will be happy and so will you without the struggle. We let our 21 month old son go naked a lot around the house and in the back yard...even at his play group the kids are naked a lot in and out of the baby pool. I have also read that it helps with potty training. Maybe if you make it not so much a struggle she won't mind clothes so much when she has to wear them. Also, try to remember that this too shall pass and will probably be a funny story to tell her about herself when she grows up. As long as she feels your resistance...she is likely to want her way even more. Maybe you could all go naked for a day and have be naked at home day...:) just a thought!
good luck, K.

my son just turned 2 this month and he is similiar. he will let me get him dressed, sometimes, but the minute i turn around and get distracted with something there goes the clothes. he just thinks it's funny. i also have a 4 year old daughter so if she isn't home i usually let him go for a minute or two and he's fine after that. kids like to see how much control they can have and how far they can push you sometimes. When he fits me i find counting or tickling works for me. hope this helps.

from what I read online this is just a phase. apparently dressing is one of the things kids can control so they try to do it. my son found out to take his diaper off last month! I will let him run around in a diaper during the day if we are at home. if we are going out he needs to get dressed. I will make sure I grab my purse and keys and tell him we are going out. this usually satisfies him enough to let me put clothes on him. if that doesn't work, I take him outside and dress him there. once he realizes we are going out he is pretty much up for whatever.

All 3 of my kids (6, 5 & 2) want to be naked. I don't think there's anything unnatural or wrong with it. They are in the house, so who are they hurting? If we get company, they get dressed. No biggy.
The one thing that my 2 year old will keep on is a swimsuit. That helps keep her diaper on, too! If I try to force her to get dressed, it turns into a battle. But when I'm doing laundry, she always wants to get dressed. So if it's on her terms, it's cool. Yes; it is a control issue. (Just like the eating battles) But it's such a minor point that I feel it's a good one to concede.
You have to pick your battles. And try not to sweat the small stuff.
Good luck!