Lately, my 22 month old daughter seems to be afraid of everything! Not the typical monsters in the closet but things like loud noises, waves at the beach, barking dogs – that kind of thing. Even simple things like someone popping bubbles with a piece of gum will cause her to cry and run to me and bury her face. I don’t understand what is causing this as she is usually a very outgoing, fun loving child. She has always been so adaptable. We even have a huge German Shepherd dog that barks loud and it doesn’t bother her but if a little bitty dog that she isn’t familiar with starts barking – she freaks out. She did have tubes placed in her ears about 6 weeks ago because of constant fluid and I am wondering if everything seems much louder to her now. But it seems to be more than that as well because she has started getting clingy in crowds or places that she is unfamiliar with. She just seems to be scared of unfamiliar people, places, and noises. I know that this is normal for some kids but she has been the complete opposite of this for most of her life. We don’t know what to do to get her through this or help her realize that she doesn’t need to be frightened of most of these things. Any advice?
Thanks for all the responses! My best friend is actually an OT in a pediatric clinic and she does not think my child has any kind of sensory processing disorder. She eval's and treats kids every day with this specific problem so I trust her judgement. And we also saw my daughter's ENT surgeon just last week for a follow up from her tubes and he said her tubes look perfect and that she may be perceiving that things are louder to her so the responses about the tubes may be right on. But I will still follow up with her regular ped. to make sure that she thinks this is normal development behavior and that there isn't anything else wrong. Thanks!
Sounds totally normal to me. I use to make games out of these things to help the children cope. Get books on them. If it's overwhelmingly bad, go to the health food store and pick up Bach Flower Essence called Mimulus
J. W.
I think it is normal because my kids used to do that when they are very young age and sometime it can change her way of been around thing and not used to be afraid. I just that she is dealing with her peer of anxiety(mispell)..and show her the thing that she is afraid that it is not going to hurt her maybe that can help build her confidence so she will know it is just nothing.. so i guess it will take time for her to deal with her fear so just stand by her and keep letting her know it wont hurt her. It just a phrase i think.
Perhaps the event of putting the tubes in her ears was more traumatic than you realized at the time? My kids never had them, so I don't know the details of the process, but I assume it would be enough to scare a very small child. Associate that process with the sudden louder noises and voila! (that's what it sounds like to me anyway)... I am not sure what to suggest in the way of comforting her and getting her over it. Maybe see if you could take her back to the Dr where the tubes were placed for a brief visit (where nothing "bad" or "scary" happens this time). and then to do something fun that she enjoys? Just remember that to her her fears are very real and offer comfort each time. Then maybe walk over to whatever is making the noise and let her experience it with you RIGHT THERE so she sees nothing happens and it's okay... Definitely check with the Dr who did the tubes to see if this is a common experience - they might be able to suggest something...
I wouldn't say that these are irrational fears, these are normal for that age. Have you seen the book on "What To Expect With 2 Year Olds"? Something like that, there is one for every stage that your child goes through and they are wonderful. Just give your daughter security when she is fearful and she will learn to trust you and the things around you. Security breeds secure feelings and therefore adaptability. Remember when you were afraid of something, you wanted someone to comfort you, it's the same thing.
Good luck and God bless you.
its totally the hearing thing...we had the same thing happen with our daughter. Hannah had an undiagnosed ear infection (no pain, no crying, just bolckage) for months and when it finally was cleared up , the door bell freaked her out. After all she had been "under water" for months, everything was so loud. She would even run from the room crying "too loud too loud". It took about 2 months or so for things to balance back out for her.
But, you can always as the doc, any change like that...
Ask the ped for a referal to a eyes, nose and ears doc. If that route comes up with nothing significant, check with your ped for other help. It could be something small or large. I would go the medical way before passing it off as just something that this age kids do. Good luck, Jen!
I think it would be so helpful (if you haven't already) to buy a book about "feelings" for your girl. There's a good one at Target called "The Way I Feel" that discusses anger, being afraid, sadness, silliness, happiness, excited, etc. And you can add more as she begins to verbalize and "understand" what her feelings are. My little girl 29 months, has gone through more separation anxiety lately, where she would WAIL when I left her at daycare, which she's attended for a year and a half and is VERY happy about. That just ended after a rough couple of months. In addition, I know this sounds silly, but trust me, it works... we say "spells" and prayers every night before bed... we say, "Night night dinosaurs, lions, sharks, hyenas, Goliath and Snow White Scary Trees!"... I'm serious, these are the various things that she mentions being afraid of daily... then we say "it is not time to play, it is time to go to bed" and "Mommy will guard the door".. then, "see you tomorrow." Then we say our regular prayers "Now I lay me down to sleep... plus blessings for all family members, etc.) and give kisses and hugs before I leave the room.
Also, we just went back to the beach for the first time Sunday since last summer... and my girl stopped DEAD in her tracks at the top of the boardwalk stairs... stared at the ocean and said... "Mommy. it's so BIG... it makes me nervous!"... she would not go down for 15 minutes as we talked it through and I thought we might honestly have to go home without hitting the sand (and I was fine with that... which I think she picked up on)... so finally, because I reassured her that I would be with her always, she went to the sand and played, even though she would not even dip a toe into the water! So... you will have fits and starts and progression and regression for most things... and you just have to realize how much they are growing and how much more they realize than they did last year... so they are actually AWARE of sizes... aware of noises... aware of other dogs... aware of other things that are not in her every day life. It's normal... so normal. Just take a deep breath... and try to put yourself in her tiny little shoes. It's a big world! :)
Good luck!
K.
You sound like a very concerned and loving Mommy but make sure that you don't go overboard when she freaks. I'd say that whenever she is frightened to comfort her in a serious way with a matter-of-fact kind of attitude to the whole thing. Pick her up and hold her and talk about it but not in a put down way and don't dwell on it and change the subject. Please, please know her fears are real and don't make fun of her or make light of the situation. She needs to know that you care as she learns that those things won't hurt her. I believe she will grow out of this. Remember that this is a phase and it will end and another will come......for the rest of her life.
Imagine walking around for the first part of your life with ear muffs on and then suddenly someone takes them off. The whole world sounds differently to her now, so it's not the dog or the bubbles that she is afraid of, but the fear of the unknown and that now that everything is crystal clear it sounds soooo different to her--- everything in her world is louder and clearer. What you may see is her being afraid of a crowd of people, but she may be afraid of the new sounds she now clearly hears--- background noise that we take for granted and ignore is now something she is more sensitive to. I would speak with her doctor and make sure that's all it is, but I would think that is 100% normal and expected after tubes. Give her time to explore the world while burying her head in your chest-- she will eventually back off in her own time and she'll be OK
My brother went through the same sort of thing after getting tubes in his ears. It is a hard process. Even after his ears where better, he still had the "fear of everything". We all let him take the time he needed to do things. I distinctly remember 2 events, water skiing and fireworks. Over about 3 summers, my brother went from not wanting to get into the water one summer, then life jacket and skies the next summer to full out water skiing the third. Each time a little more confident. With the fireworks, he went from hiding in his room with hands over his ears, head under a pillow to hands over his ears watching from the window to lighting the fireworks. Be patient. Her fears are not irrational to her. Give her coping tools. Have her cover her ears. There is a fine line in there between in adveringly encouraging the fear by overly protecting and soothing and prompting more fear by scolding or dimissing the reaction. Trust your insincts. You know your child best and try to think what she must be going through.
Sensory Hypersensitivty (it has a clinical name - but this is the gist of the name)
My son at about age 2 1/2 - started doing the same things your daughter is doing. He started crying more than usual (he was always a senstivie child) he started covering his ears and rocking, screaming when something bothered him. He even started running from family members he had not seen in a while. It was quite strange to us, we just got him diagnosed and have started therapy for him. I am not saying your child has this, all children go through all kids of stages & some of them we are not going to understand, but understanding if there is an underlying condition is paramount.
We got a referal from our docot to see an Occupation Therapist, it can not hurt to get a proffessional oppinion.
If you have any more questions or want to ask any questions, please feel free to contact me.
I have a deaf child and he also was scared of loud noises when he had his first tubes place. Check with your Doctor when the pressure is release they can hear louder and clear and maybe that is why she is acting like that to new noises.
