Toddler Won't Wear Anything Other than Crazy Dresses

Updated on July 17, 2009
K.B. asks from Belmont, MA
25 answers

Hi Fellow Moms-
My two and a half year only wants to wear this one particualr tutu all of the time. We have two other crazy dresses that she will wear but only if she can immediately put the tutu back on after we are done with the dress. I don't want to be an overcontrolling Mom and I like her to have some say in what she wears but this is getting so aggrevating. She has tons of cute outfits that just sit in her drawers while she outgrows them. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Does anyone know if she will outgrow this stage?
Thanks for all and any input. K. B.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your great words of wisdom. I really do feel a great relief knowing that I am not the only one that has a child who wants to dress silly on a regular basis. I have read every response and greatly appreciate that you all have taken the time to share your thoughts with me. I have decided to let her wear the tutu pretty much whenever she wants to except to preschool which is only one day per week and to bed. It is an adorable little tutu and at least it actually looks good on her.
Truly grateful for all of the responses,
K. B.

More Answers

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M.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

I have three little girls and they all went through the "Fancy Nancy" stage.
They all had to wear the big fru-fru tutu and pink cowboy boots!
What can you do? It's the girls becoming creative and showing that creative adventurious side. They feel secure and independent enough to show they can make a decision themselves.
Most children go through this stage.
And I wouldn't be worried that she'll grow up still wearing that tutu to a job intererview!!
Don't get too agrevated........it's cute.
Mom's just need to nurture that side to our babies and smile that they are healthy and growing up, already making decision of their own.
This is just the beginning of many where you'll have tons of cute girl clothes they'll never wear. Go shopping with her next time and ask her if she likes what you see. Then you'll get a good understanding of what her style might be. (yes, even at 2)
P.S. Boys go through the creative stage too. My son had to wear his big yellow Teletubbie slippers everywhere!

Mom to 3 Fancy Nancy's and 1 teddy bear!

1 mom found this helpful

T.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi K.,

Is she also very rigid about anything else, or are the dresses the only thing?
t

LOL - after reading some of the other Mama's responses, I'm happy my son only demands his "pirate belt" on whatever he wears!!!

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T.J.

answers from Flagstaff on

I'm a full time preschool teacher, so I can promise you that she will outgrow this stage. Will she wear her other clothes unter her tutu? You can also try letting her know that at home it's okay to wear her tutu, but when you leave the house, she gets to wear her other clothes. Good luck!

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M.A.

answers from Tucson on

I just want to say thanks to you and your daughter, because just imagining this brought me many smiles and giggles... and what a good thing that is in this world! :-)

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K.F.

answers from Albuquerque on

Oh, I think it's normal...my son loves to wear the spiderman costume from Halloween. We have established that he can wear it at home anytime he wants, as long as it is clean. He has gone for that deal...you could try it with your daughter...

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T.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Sigh...It is a phase that, I think, all little girls go through. Yes, it is embarassing for you. No one else really cares. Everyone else just looks and smiles that knowing smile, because they have all been through that stage with their kids. Right now my 4 year old is wearing a new dress that I bought her 4 days ago and has yet to take it off. She does this with all of the new dresses that she picks out. I look at it as money well spent. It is an out fit that she likes and wears and will probably wear every day until a new one comes along. So many of her other clothes are hardly worn. You will look back at this phase and laugh. Just take lots of pictures. She will look and them and remember her favorite tutu. Mine looks at pics and talks about her favorite dresses and the things she did and the places she was when she was wearing them.

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A.R.

answers from Albuquerque on

Enjoy it she will outgrow it all too soon :)

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

All I can say, is that I wish I had those days back. I was so embarrassed by my older daughter, now almost 21, who wanted to wear only tutus and this one white slip over everything ALL the time. We were living in Maryland at the time, so I had her wear sweats underneath during the winter. Then one day walking into a store, a dad type told her how beautiful she looked in her lovely outfit. I was shocked and she just beamed.

Since that time I've taken lots of early child hood development classes, and learned that this is just a phase. So my next 2 kiddos get to pick their own clothes. And daughter #2 never wore the tutus, just wants to wear jeans all the time :( So I vote, let her be her. She needs to have control in some areas, and clothes at this age are so unimportant.

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B.B.

answers from Phoenix on

My only advice is get used to it. That was about the age my daughter began to have an opinion about what she wore--and half the time it was a nightgown with cupcakes all over it!! It is better to save the battles for more important things. The nice thing is, you won't have to spend that much on clothing! She will likely outgrow the idea of wearing only the tutu if you just let her do it for while, then she will move on to those cute outfits--but likely in crazy mixes--my daughter still picks out the craziest combos that don't even match, but she is getting her independence in a way that doesn't harm her in any way. It took me some time to get used to it, but you will. Best of luck.

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S.E.

answers from Phoenix on

Take lots of pictures and ENJOY this time immensely! You both will look back at this later and have a great laugh. She's happy & I bet her friends think she is the best dressed. Other moms will love that you let her have her freedom.

My 4 yo son gets a little crazy with his outfits sometimes. His craziest was a button up short sleeved Hawaiian shirt over a long sleeved tee and patchwork plaid pants. He wanted to wear an orange Hibuscus print polo with it too, but I told him only one short sleeved shirt so he left that one off. He asked me if he looked handsome & I said of course because he always looks handsome. This was about a year ago. His preschool teachers and a few other moms all told me that they were so happy that I let him be him. He picks out crazy outfits still every now and then. He also has a silver glitter fedora style plastic hat from High School Musical on Ice that he wears a lot of the time. It's Hudson & we all love that about him. He's creative, laid-back, and just joyful to watch.

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J.V.

answers from Phoenix on

All my son will wear is a spiderman costume... consider yourself lucky ;)

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C.R.

answers from Las Cruces on

I have known many, many children who go through a stage like this with a favorite clothing item and most outgrow it. For some, it is just the beginning of an adventure in dressing. There is a great article about kids who are "crazy dressers" in the current issue of Parenting - Early Years.

Most likely, because of her age and since it's the one particular item of clothing she'll move on to another stage. I'd like to tell you it'll be a few weeks, and for some kids it's a few months to a year of being fixated on a particular item of clothing. In the meantime, can she wear the tutu over or under some of her cute clothes? That way she'd get some wear out of her other things before she outgrows them. Good luck with this stage. Enjoy it, it will make for good stories later. :)

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G.G.

answers from Flagstaff on

I'd vote for letting her wear what she wants....this phase will pass and as far as clothes sitting it drawers, I wouldn't get any new clothes until she shifts out of this stage.
It is frustrating watching your kid wear the same clothes yet it's not worth a fight (to me)...
Peace

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L.S.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Hi K.,
Believe me you will TREASURE these memories! My niece wore her red sparkly shoes (like in Wizard of Oz) 24 hours a day for months. They were her "Little Mermaid" shoes. It is frustrating at times, but EVERYONE that sees your little angel in her tutu totally understands. It is so normal that most people don't give it a second thought they just smile inside remembering the time their son./daughter did the same thing. Try to let the frustration go and know that this too, like all other stages in the journey will pass. Enjoy the trip, because it is over very quickly. Hugs to you!

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

I know it must be embarrassing but all the true moms out there probably notice her more than other children and think, "What a great mom who will let her daughter be herself!" And then they smile as they enjoy the thrill of your daughter getting to feel like a ballerina. Oh, to live life like that again... where you can enjoy your life no matter what anyone else thinks. Like others have said, take lots of pictures. You will all have plenty of fun memories years down the road. The pictures of my daughter looking all put together are not half as fun as the ones where she was showing her personality. Have fun!

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J.K.

answers from Albuquerque on

What I have learned with kids is that the annoying things will pass. She will get over wearing the tutu before you know it. You definately have to pick your battles and in the long run, does it really matter that she wore a tutu everyday when she was two? Probably not.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi K., I totally agree with the "pick your battles". My 9 yo daughter last Friday INSISTED on wearing some completely mis-matched shirts, her hair in some funky hair clips and all of her wild jewlery to school. I nicely tried to tell her it didn't match, she said she didn't care, she liked it, I could feel a fight coming on and then I thought, ok, who does care??? If she gets made fun of then I guess she will learn to not look so goofy. So she went to school like that. Your daughter will grow out of it (litterally) so I would just let her wear her favorites and wait until they either get too small or she gets interested in something else. Good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

my daughter did the same thing for the longest time only she wanted to wear these horrible camo goucho pants with stains and holes in them. She wore them almost every day for a year and a half. She did eventually grow out of them and one day when she wasn't paying attention I threw them in the garbage because they were starting to be see through. So my answer would be... yes, it is a phase and she will grow out of it, literally :) If she loves them that much just let her wear them. And from personal experience, kids don't ever wear things that their mom's think are cute so don't even buy her new clothes. My daughter is 6 now and I finally donated all of her things becuase she's only into t shirts and comfy shorts. I guess I can't blame her. But they are thier own little person and they know what they like and its not hurting anything. I think another reason why I never told her to change is becuase I didn't want her to develop a complex. Its too soon that she'll be in jr. high and be worried all the time about what she's wearing. Enjoy it and take lots of pictures to show her when she's older.

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D.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Have you asked her why she likes them? Maybe it's the colors. You could add a little swatch of color to other outfits. Maybe the tutu makes her feel like a dancer. Tell her that she looks like a dancer in another outfit. She could carry a "handkerchief" or "neckerchief" of her favorite material, too. But in the end, she feels loved by you enough to wear what makes her happy - and not wearing the other dresses will not make her life worse or better. Just be concerned about her life and what she learns and lives. Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Phoenix on

She will outgrow this when she is 18......just kidding! Enjoy this stage while you can. It gives them self confidence when they are able to make choices and dress themselves. My daughter would choose striped pants and flowered tops that had different color palettes, but it lasted for about 1 year. If it is too much for you, you could buy a clothes box hanger - it hangs from the bars in the closest and has one box for each day of the week. You could "help" her choose her clothes for the week and each day she takes out the outfit to wear for that day. She may still put on the tutu!
K.

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R.E.

answers from Santa Fe on

She may never outgrow it until the tutu falls apart and she wants you to make her another one, but I can guarantee you other moms probably think she's adorable. Don't waste your money on new outfits that she will outgrow. Enjoy her love of this outfit-she'll be gone before you know it, into her friends and worse outfits. If you make this a power struggle, she will, too. You could even say-Don't forget your tutu! It's her signature fashion statement. It may even be her way of feeling she has some control in a life that is too full of going herE and there in a rush-I'm no pysychologist, of course. Just seems like she wants to have her tutu-like a blankie.
I'm 58 with 2 grown kids-one a daughter who had a crown phase and is now an award winning scientist working on her PhD and saving rainforests and shrews and couldn't care less about crowns. :) I have also been teaching for 35 years and have seen my share of power trips. :) Good luck! Regards, R.

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H.R.

answers from Phoenix on

been there, it doesn't last forever. I would just let her go with the flow, don't stress, she will out grow it (mentally as well as physically)

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N.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I know you have alot of responses, But I wanted to let you know that my son loves to wear his indiana jones out, with the hat and wip!! He has a Bob the builder outfit with a toolbelt along with his hardhat!! He even has a Zorro mask and cape. Whenever he wears it out people makes comments on what to fix that day or if Indy has run into any enemies. I lOVE TO SEE this stage, my mom never let me wear outfits like that out of the house, so it's cool when I see kids doing it. BTW my son is 4 so he is older than your daughter.My girlfriends daughter wear her princess outfit with the crown and shoes all the times, she's 3 too. I've taken a lot of pictures of all of his outfits as memories :-) , Once they get into school other kids will be critical of what they wear so enjoy this stage... :-)

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

You know how they say "pick your battles?". This is one of those scenarios. It's not worth the stress & aggravation & if something so small makes her happy, why not?!

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P.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Your story reminds me a book my daughter has, "I Wear My Tutu Everywhere" By Wendy Lewison. In it the little girls wears her tutu singing, "I love my tutu, I don't care, I wear my tutu everywhere!"
Don't worry she will out grow it, have you ever seen a grown women wearing her tutu everywhere? :)
I know it's frustrating, but this is really NBD (no big deal)in the big scheme of things. This is something she won't remember and you two will laugh about it when you tell her. For now, relax and take lots of pictures, in a heart beat she will be on her own.

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