My son is almost 3.5 yrs old. He has being doing his BM's since December (happily). He wears a diaper at night-time and was wearing Pull Ups during the day and always going to the toilet to do his BM's without assistance. I rewarded him with a fire truck that he wanted in January. He wants a Hot Wheels Track and I told him that if he goes pee in the toilet and keeps his big boy underwear dry then he will get one. So it has been about 3 mths of him telling me that while at preschool/daycare that he pee'd in the toilet and he has been going on his own on the weekends with me. So I thought he was ready and to be rewarded and we got the Hot Wheels Track. However...... he was peeing in the toilet at home all weekend but all this week he has had 3 accidents (meaning a change of clothes 3x's) at his preschool/daycare. They are putting a Pull Up on at daycare for naptime as I do as well. We are all on board together and have been told by some of the teachers at his preschool/daycare that I should just continue with the accidents and do not put him back into Pull Ups. I figure if they are ok with the accidents (ie: chairs and in my car) than I will persist. I am not sure that if I go back to having him wear Pull Ups all the time, I would be digressing in his progress or should I. Hence why I am here. He is my one and only and I have no other reference but to ask around. I told him that I will be taking the Hot Wheels Track away and putting it away until he is ready to keep his underwear dry and pee in the toilet. He seemed fine with this. Lastly, he just doesn't seem to mind being wet no matter what. Any suggestions would be appreciated. This one has been hard but the pooping was easy :) Thanks.
Thank u ALL for your "sanctomonious comments".....Love it! sorry my I am dealing with a very slow computer and prepping for dinner and etc....but wanted to say that I DO appreciate the feedback albeit somewhat volitile however, I am use to that.... :) :) People are what they are. Hmmm....so my son is having his accidents but I now have his "old" potty in the garage so when he plays outside he can come inside to pee/poop (which he did today!) but then he had an accident....no worries... I realize now after getting myself educated about this that it will happen. He still has his Hot wheels track...in which he is not that enthusiastic about anymore......ahem....but it's there. So the washing machine will be in full tilt or back to the store for another round of "bigl boy underwear".
I don't agree with taking the track away. I'm sorry but it just seems cruel to me. Continue as you have been and press ahead!
Kids have accidents.
It is childhood.
No kid, is 100% perfect with their bladder 100% of the time.
Also, at certain ages, they "think" they can hold their bladder, but they cannot hold it as long as they think they can.
This commonly happens at about 3 years old.
Next, I would not punish him for it.
It is involuntary.
It is a pee accident.
When my daughter was that same age and in Preschool, she had had accidents too. The Teacher was nurturing about it. We were too. We just took extra clothing for her to leave at school. The Teacher would help her change and put the soiled clothing in a plastic bag to take home. NO biggie.
She simply told me, she THOUGHT she could hold it longer. Or she didn't want to stop playing to go pee.
A common, conundrum in kids this age.
ALL of my Daughter's Teachers, from Preschool, Kindergarten and 1st Grade, ALL told me that, kids these ages have accidents. Irregardless of when they got potty trained. Kids have accidents.
Even the Health Room at my Daughter's school, the Health Aide has tons of extra clothing/underwear etc., for the kids to change into, IF they have a toilet accident. They do not bat an eyelash about it. They are kids. Especially the younger kids.
For night time, night time/nap time dryness is not something Biologically or Physiologically attained, until even 7 years old, And this is normal and per Pediatricians.
Until then, just use a waterproof bed pad under him.
Kids this age still wear diapers at night. Pull-ups are useless, because it leaks and does not hold much.
ALL my Daughter's Teachers, also told me, that kids these ages do wear diapers at night and it is biologically normal. BUT the parents will not admit to it, because they feel self-conscious about it.
Again, I see nothing harmfully wrong with your son and his accidents.
Your son is young.
He is a kid.
My Daughter, even at Kindergarten (at 5 years old), had a couple of pee accidents. Again, because she THOUGHT she could hold it longer, than she actually could. Or, during circle time, she was hesitant to raise her hand to tell the Teacher she had to go pee. So, the Teacher and I, talked comfortingly to her, about it. It is okay. No biggie.
Their bladder health, is more important than holding it in.
A child this age, may still not be able to totally control their biology and bladder urges. And the synchronization of it nor holding it.
all the best,
Susan
Don't let these vultures get you down. I swear, Mamapedia has some sanctimonious responders!
I have two boys, and if I may share my experience, no two are alike! My second son (turned 3 in Feb) sounds a lot like your son and he's peeing every where right now. Some good days some bad...you can't MAKE him POOP in his diaper!!! We've been doing underwear and LOTS of laundry for 2 months. I just bought a Costco-size box of Pull-ups and plan on going on a bit of a hiatus for a few weeks from potty training. I just don't feel like he's ready.
My first son pee trained first and it was a huge struggle to get him to poop in the toilet. He was a hider! The whole ordeal was complete by the time he was 2-1/2. My 3 year old, like yours, poop trained himself a year ago and is perfectly consistent. When he pees his pants, he couldn't care less!
I guess what I'm getting at is, only you know where your son is at. I am of the mind that Pull ups ARE graduated diapers, but if your boy, like mine, doesn't mind being wet, then the only one being punished by him wetting actual clothes is YOU.
Good luck. Sorry if my reply was all over the place. I just had a baby (another boy) and I'm sleep deprived. :)
My son took a long while to fully get it as well and like your son he got the poop part first. He was almost 4 when I finally put him in underwear and he still needs Goodnights at night (he turned 5 last month). You might be able to get some thicker training pants or some with a waterproof outer layer in the meantime to save a bit of laundry. It depends how big your son is. My son was 50 lbs at age 4 and too big for anything I could find (I even ordered some off the internet and the biggest size was too small). We had about 2 weeks of frequent accidents, he got sick and went back to pull ups for a week and when he went back to underwear he was pretty good. Talking with his preschool teacher helped a lot. She was a terrific teacher in nearly all ways. When I asked the teacher to make sure he goes in the bathroom and tries every time the class has a break in routine (they encourage all the kids to use the bathroom at certain times but not all do) things were good. Also my son was having accidents and not wanting to tell the teacher so I needed to talk to the teacher about that as well. Your son will get it, it just isn't a fast process for all kids. I still remind my son to take a potty break when we get home from someplace or if I know he hasn't gone in 2 hours or more. He argues if he doesn't want to stop what he is doing but it really helped decrease the accidents at first.
My great nephew is 3 this month. I have yet to hear anyone mention the least word about potty training. He is hugh for his age and looks ridiculous in diapers. On top of everything else he is a living terror and screams all day. His babysitter says he takes 3 "dumps" a day and it is no easy chore cleaning it up. She is waiting for the word from the parents. No one seems it's strange at all and just keeps buying diapers. Hmmm.my mouth is shut, but in 73 my daughter had her 1st birthday and got a potty for her birthday. And that's when it started for my kids..don't ever remember it being a big chore.
Do not put him back in pull ups. For peeing, it's often a 3 steps forward, one step back kind of a process. I wouldn't take away the toy that he already "earned" but rather I'd reincentivize going on the potty. But at this age they just get busy and would rather not stop to go to the bathroom.
Don't make a big deal of the accidents, keep doing the laundry, and I bet they go away as fast as they came. And be grateful that poop training came easily - that's normally much harder and much grosser!
Good luck!
I agree with S H - please don't punish him for his accidents. He is still learning and will continue to have accidents here and there. Praise him for when he does use the toilet and is dry. I also agree with your preschool that you should not go back to pull-ups. This just confuses him by sending him mixed messages about using the toilet everytime he has to go. (i.e. "Why should I go to all the way over to the bathroom if I could just go in my pull-up?")
My almost 3 yr old is doing really well with the potty-training and I think it is because he is in underwear all day (even in the car-I bring along a small potty just in case) and I put a pull-up on him only at night. My 4 yr old and I always praise him for when he goes potty and I never punish him for his accidents.
Good luck! Be patient and consistent, it will happen!
I'd get rid of the pull-ups except at nap. Kids have accidents for a while. After the hypersensitivity of learning to use the potty wears off a bit, they get busy playing and forget to listen to their bodies. At 3.5 he should be able to change his own clothes. It doesn't have to be a punishment (and shouldn't be), but a natural consequence of having an accident and cleaning it up. If he gets really upset, reassure him that accidents happen and we just need to clean up.
Good luck!
