Too Soon for Preschool?

That sounds a lot like my son who is now 6 years old and still has problems with change and new things. What we learned to do is to give him notice (like a week or so) and count down the days and that seems to help with everything. It could be going to the doctor or dentist or starting 1 grade. We have been talking about 1 grade all summer and it seems he will be ok. I hope this helps. Good luck

I teach 3 year old Kindergarten in MPS. There are many kids who come and have a very hard time leaving their parents, and lots of parents who have a very hard time leaving their kids! Every single one of them has gotten used it and ended up being very happy. Some take longer than others, but I think the benefits (social, emotional and educational) of being in school at that age far outweigh the tears in the beginning.

Hi H.,

I am a teacher in a daycare in Verona and we have a preschool program at our center. I want to encourage you to let him try it. You can also go with him for the first day and sit with him and see if this is something he is ready for. From my experience, the children who come to us and are a little shy and sensitive to new situations do just fine and make a ton of new friends. Call the preschool and see if you can sit in with him for awhile and then maybe start him a couple of hours a day, and gradually let him stay a little longer each day. We always encourage our parents to call or stop in and check on the children if they need to. I hope this helps and I hope things go well for you!

S.

Hi H.. Being a mom of many kids, I've had a few that were very shy to new situations. I would just go ahead and have him try going to pre-school. It may really help him get over some of those fears and he'll meet a lot of new friends. Plus it will get him accustomed to school when it's time to start kindergarten. I'm guessing he won't be going that many days or hours to pre-school so that may help him, since he won't be away from home for too long. You could always do it on a trial basis. If it's been a month or so and it doesn't seem like he's doing well, then you could always pull him out. Like you said, he could always start next year if things don't go smoothly this time. Good luck!!

Hi H.:

I don't think that he's too young to start preschool. You could try to preschool him at home, but he does need to learn that his feelings of nervousness and/or butterflies are normal and that it's O.K. to have this uncomfortable feeling. He will adjust real fast to a consistent schedule of preschool and be very proud of his art projects , etc. And when he's star student he'll be glowing with happiness. So, I think you should keep him in preschool and reassure him when he does get uncomfortable with the NEW things.

~K.

As I was reading this , it was like someone took what I was thinking about my little guy and put in writing. My son is also 3 1/2 and starting preschool. I hope it is what is best. He loves learning new things, but hesitates when there are kids around he doesn't know. I figure the sooner I start him the better. There could be the chance that your son will not grow out of his anxiety, so the sooner you get him in with new kids the better. I also have a 20 month old daughter who is a daredevil. She scares the daylights out of me sometimes. Heck, she has already fractured her wrist and she isn't even 2. I think your son will be scared in the beginning, but he'll soon be having so much fun it will not matter anymore. Good Luck. If you have any thoughts on how to cope with having young daredevil, let me know.

My advice is to let him stay at home another year. Yes, he may eventually get used to preschool; however, unless there is a compelling reason to send him, why not let him enjoy being a little boy at home with you for another year. Sometimes we let peer presure make us think we need to have our kids doing all these things and that they will miss out on something by not doing them. He really won't miss a thing and, after maturing for another year, may approach it entirely differently and even with anticipation. Enjoy your little boy being little as it won't last for long!

I don't have any words of wisdom for you as my son is almost 2 years younger, but I could write he same things about him. He is very shy at anything new and likes to just observe for a while before doing it himself. I look forward to reading the input you receive.

Talk to your preschool about your concerns. Many will let you withdraw after a short trial if it is not working. Some kids do better than you think they will- and some don't.

I have a son who is simular, and what I have found that worked great, is to talk about it tons. Explain to him everything that will happen, how you will leave and that big boys go to school and stay until mom or dad picks them up. Talk about it everyday until it starts I think that you will be suprise how he will react then. I find that if I do that with everything for my son it helps so much. He is seven now and loves school and can't wait to start again (2nd grade!) So just give him the warnings about situations and you will have positive response from him!
Good luck!
T.

Hi, H.!

You sound like you have a situation very similar to mine. I also have a 3 1/2 year old boy who is very shy around new people. I also have a 21-month old daughter who is quite outgoing in new situations (with the exception of your typical separation anxiety). I had a friend who wanted me to start my son in preschool last year with her daughter. I looked at him at that time and thought there was no way he would adapt. He was very attached to me and had little interest in "hanging out" with other kids. This year, my son is much different. Although he's still shy around new people, he loves being around his friends. It takes him a while to warm up, but once he does, he loves being around others. Taking this into consideration, I have decided to proceed with preschool in the fall. I've been talking it up a lot. He always says he's excited. Then when I say "Mommy will drop you off and come back shortly to get you", he says he's not sure he wants to go. I think it's child-dependant. We're going to try it. I think he'll adjust after a few times. (I'm hoping) I know he'll love it if he gives it a fair shake. If it doesn't work out after a few weeks, I'll probably pull him out and try again after the first of the year.

Hope this helps!

I think pre-school would be great for him. If you put it off till next year, you're just sheltering him from the experiences (both good and bad). Yes, he will take time to adjust, but I think it will be a great learning experience for him (both academically and socially). Besides, if after the first month he just isn't adjusting, simply stop going. At least you gave it a shot. :) Good luck to you, I hope he has a great time. :)

Hi H....

My daughter is also 3-1/2 and will be starting preschool this September as well. My daughter sounds a LOT like your son. She is very sensitive and very shy. I'm sure a big part of that is because I stay home with her and she has grown very attached to the "security" of Mom. I have found though that when put in certain situations if "MOM" is there she will be clingy and not participate...if I remove myself from the situation she will become more outgoing and participate.

An example of this was a 2 hour gymnastics camp I signed her up for. At first she wouldn't go with the other kids, and just stood there clinging to me. I told her Mommy's couldn't stay and that she had to go with the teacher (who I introduced her to, so she would feel some sense of comfort). Then I was able to sneak off to the balcony and keep an eye on her without her knowing. In a manner of minutes my daughter was joining the group and doing all the activities and having a blast. I couldn't believe it...I didn't expect it at all. Since then I have tried to get my daughter involved in more classes that don't involve Mommy, and she is always terribly shy at first, but once I leave does great.

I know this is just my experience, but it may work the same with your son. I'd say at least give preschool a try and discuss your concerns with his teacher. If he really isn't ready, hopefully they will let you know and let you withdraw him at that time.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Sandy

I would send him to preschool and give it a try. The worse thing that would happen is you would have to stop him from going. But I would give him the opportunity to try to grow and adjust, and preschool would be a good way to start his new growth. And they see it alot. Try it you have nothing to lose!

H. -

I writing to tell you to try preschool for a month and see how it goes. Be prepared and set yourself up to succeed. You might want to start now. Start going to the preschool, even though classes have yet to start. Drive their and be excited about it and explain that this is your school. If it's open ask to walk in and visit as frequently as they will let you. Go for short visits ask if they will let you play in the inside and outside play area. Make a habit to drive by the school, even during closed areas and point it out and even stop and play outside in the playgroup area if it's accessible or peek in the area, if it is closed. See how he reacts. Ask your preschool if they can match you up with a few kids that will be going. Give your number to them and ask if a few families with kids attending could call you and arrange for a playgroup prior to school starting. Make sure you make a big production out of meeting his preschool teacher and ask if you would like to draw a picture for him/her and drop it off at their first meeting, prior to school, if possible. If your preschool is not receptive to your needs find one that is willing to work for you to make it a fun and engaging experience for your son!

Make sure you take your son school shopping to pick out his backpack and markers! Empower him to make a few choices and come to the store with a list and have him help you select a few items on this list. What backpack do you want to take to school? These are the markers you need for school, can you help me put those in the cart? Use lots of reaffirming statements like, "Just think of all the beautiful pictures you will draw at school." or "They even let you finger paint at school, won't that be fun!"

Enjoy!
Smiles - S. Kannenberg
Author of Let's Get Ready For Kindergarten! and First Grade!

We chose not to send my daughter to school until age 4. She was late potty training and developmentally we thought we would keep her home another year. So when we sent her to 4 year old kindergarten she was so excited. We talked about it all summer long. I worked on her letters and numbers with her and got her ready for the idea of going to school all summer. When we got to her classroom I think I had more anxiety than her. She didn't even cry when I left. Every child is different. Your child might be fine going into school at that age. There is a period of adjustment for every child. Really you will have to try it. You can always withdraw your child if you feel its not working.