First of all... There's not enough communication between the two of you. There are issues that are his and there are issues that are yours. You must own up to your own issues before he realizes he has them too.
1. Men will never change.
2. Men are like children & they are very simple.
3. If a man has just eaten, he wants sex.
4. If a man has just had sex, he wants a sandwich.
5. If he has always been the same... Expect him to be that way forever.
What you need to do is ask yourself if you're happy with the way things are right this moment. Or happy enough to live like that. Nothing will change. Not without open communication. And if it's one person doing all the talking, nothing will get resolved either.
Why do you feel the need to get married so badly? What difference will a piece of paper and a ring going to make? You already have a LO together. You already live under the same roof.
Pick your battles. Is it really that big of a deal that you get a pedi? I get that you want some pampering, but it's not completely necessary at one specific moment. And sex... If you're repulsed by even the thought... You've already 'left the building' so to speak. Why do you want to get married to a man that you're sexually repulsed by? I don't always want to have sex when my husband is in the mood (which is always), but sometimes I still go for it. Most of the time, the feeling is mutual... Sometimes I'm just too friggen tired.
Try to figure out the good things about him too. Ask him to do the same about you. Other than his request for sex and not giving you money for pampering anytime you want... What's so bad about him being the financial support and you be the household support?
I work full-time and so does my husband. We work together in every way, every day... At work and at home. If I were a SAHM, I wouldn't think anything of him putzing around, doing what he wants to do. I've been a SAHM and a full-time working mom. I still have to do all the cooking, cleaning, and care of the kids... I've also been a single working mom... I've been in a crappy marriage and a great one. The 2nd marriage (my hubby now) wasn't necessarily expected to turn into a marriage. Neither of us really cared all that much about being married again (I'm his 2nd as well). But the timing was right. We had our son before we got married.
You have to ask yourself what you expect from him and you need to ask him straight out what he expects from you. In relationship and in life.
What do you think a marriage should be like?
Don't get me wrong... I think bribing for sex is rediculous, but he shouldn't have to either.